There have been some petty posts lately...VENT

[1990Domer]

I wonder sometimes why anyone would want to post some of these issues (family) on a forum like this. I can maybe understand if one did not have close friends to share their concerns with but even then why not approach a priest to get advice through the mind of Christ and His Church, the Catholic Church. As you have found apparently, that’s not always the case on this forum lol. Is it just a matter of finding commiseration?

Often, I think people near to hear from other Catholics as a was to affirm that their understanding of Church teachings were correct…and maybe feel they were not wrong for feeling hurt. Many have been taught by poor catechists.

I understand that going to a priest is a great step, but sometimes it is impractical because of the shortage of priests, childcare or eldercare issues or transportation.

My hope, and this my hope for everyone all the time, is that they poster be charitable and understand that until you have walked a mile in another’s shoe, be kind and respectful. There is a face behind each post made in the image of God.

 

[1990Domer]

Keep in mind that when posters ask for advice about their personal life, there is rarely enough information available for a complete stranger to make a judgment about the situation. Well-meaning posters tend to fill in the blanks by interjecting their own personal experiences. This is difficult because the OP’s situation may not be exactly like the situation a poster experienced, even if it was similar in some way. Therefore, I think it’s best not to make accusations, even if you think the poster is very likely completely full of it.

Allegra, my husband told me the same thing, as it happened to him on a few posts. As with me, it took him aback. Thank you for bringing up this important point.

 

[1990Domer]

Yeah… I often catch myself projecting my own experiences onto others when reading threads. When there’s a lack of information, I tend to assume they have similar experiences to my own. Or sometimes, I end up defending against another person’s response, because it feels like it’s an attack I’ve experienced before.

Now, my posts usually contain something like “in my experience…” or similar phrases to mitigate the possibility of offending someone with my assumptions.

I used to use and liberally… Ironically, they were purposely inserted to make my post appear more lighthearted. To my horror, some smileys don’t mean what I thought they meant. I used to use the kissy face ‘3’ a lot on other forums! Thinking it was some sort of pondering pout…

I always took the eye-roll emoji as a sign that my concerns were trivial and were wasting people’s time and space. Is there a different interpretation?

 

[pianistclare]

I always took the eye-roll emoji as a sign that my concerns were trivial and were wasting people’s time and space. Is there a different interpretation?

When I use it I mean to tell folks that they are nit-picky about things they probably don’t know a lot about. People say a lot of things that are really uncharitable toward the clergy. Particularly regarding parish life.

 

[mommy_k]

As with life-some people don’t know how to play nice in the sandbox-or to be silent.

 

[1990Domer]

I tweeted my friends and asked them to do an act of kindness every day in August (one which requires sacrifice) just because so many horrible things have been in the news…ISIS, PP. not sure if any took me up on my offer.

 

[SuperLuigi]

Oh, and there has sometimes been a lot of sarcasm. If someone is using a lot of these kinds of smilies…:tsktsk::dts::ehh: , the conversation is probably already abusive.

Not really. The problem is more with words than with smiles. Forum Admin have actually encourage the use of smiles, in good taste, of course, but they are preferable to words in many cases.

I’ve seen too many complaints about Family Life, and while I will provide advice on here, I’d never ask for personal advice on the posting Forums section. :dts: :nope:

In fact, I actually handle a lot of Family Life correspondence by PM in order for original posters to avoid the drama. This has been more effective from my standpoint, but I am hesitant to generally encourage that because Admin have stated the PM systems is too frequently abused.

Believe me, I’ve received enough hostile messages to know it.

Ask an Apologist or CAF radio may be helpful in some cases, but I also find myself in general referring folks off-site for more professional assistance.

 

[SuperLuigi]

I wonder sometimes why anyone would want to post some of these issues (family) on a forum like this. I can maybe understand if one did not have close friends to share their concerns with but even then why not approach a priest to get advice through the mind of Christ and His Church, the Catholic Church. As you have found apparently, that’s not always the case on this forum lol. Is it just a matter of finding commiseration?

I think they may not have a good understanding as to the purpose of the forums, their usefulness, ultimately, and the qualifications of those on here.

As I said, I refer people externally very often, because a lot of the questions on here cannot be answered on-line.

A lot of people need spiritual direction or at least some kind of counseling.

I always took the eye-roll emoji as a sign that my concerns were trivial and were wasting people’s time and space. Is there a different interpretation?

The problem with the is when it is used to trivialize something like a genuine question.

It shouldn’t be as offensive (if at all) when discussing politics in the News Forums.

 

[GreyWings]

I have to admit I am often not the most eloquent in writing, especially under stress, but I need to say there have been several uncharitable and downright petty posts by people who cannot possibly discern what is going in a person’s life. It’s an anonymous forum, for goodness sake. Nobody here should pass any judgement or even guess as to another’s motives.

And yes, I was part of the problem and want to be part of the solution. It’s been a horribly stressful summer, and I am fallen and have made mistakes. Thankfully, I have a great priest and a loving family unit. Yes, having two members of my family on the spectrum is tough (husband and son), but it’s a cross I’ve been given and am thankful to God that He has entrusted me with it.

To be honest, I agree with you. Thank you for bringing this up.

While I think people mean well, there’s tough love and there’s a time to be softer. Regardless I think it’s good to keep Ephesians 4:32 in mind when helping people in the forums.