There's a sadness in their eyes

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here I am again…
I just wanted to add that this melancholic look, to me, was not just poses… It was in part, at the beginning… but then, it’s like a vicious cycle: first you’re both feeling melancholic and posing, and the more you go, the more this melancholy impregnates you, and after some time, you’re not posing anymore at all, it has just become a part of you.
You know, it’s like: if you want to feel happy, begin with a smile…
 
Jwlynas said:
Ah, very true chevalier. But that sort of background would not be exclusively catholic, nor would catholic girls have a greater frequency of that. As the topic creator seems to be pondering the seeming depression of catholics in specifics, we can not presume traumatic experiences to be the norm.

At least, I would hope not…

If traumatic pasts are the issue, then all you can do is be there for them. But as far as I know not all catholics have hard lives. Maybe you just seem the typoe of person who is good at comforting? “Damaged” people tend to zone in on comforters.
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Yup, having traumatising experience is not exclusively Catholic. It affects everyone. What I’ve been wondering is maybe the Opening Poster had some tendency to fall for distressed women or maybe the ones he’s met have been dealing with difficult lives.
 
FrenchGwen said:
here I am again…
I just wanted to add that this melancholic look, to me, was not just poses… It was in part, at the beginning… but then, it’s like a vicious cycle: first you’re both feeling melancholic and posing, and the more you go, the more this melancholy impregnates you, and after some time, you’re not posing anymore at all, it has just become a part of you.
You know, it’s like: if you want to feel happy, begin with a smile…
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I agree completely. Whatever the origin, our thoughts and actions certainly influence (even perpetuate) which direction our moods & attitudes go in.
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
I don’t know if it’s just me, but most all young Catholic ladies I’ve met/dated had an unexplainable sadness in their eyes. Maybe that’s what I’m attracted to, but it’s just something I’ve noticed. Perhaps it’s because they’re of the melancholic personality type? Anyone else notice this? Is this a Catholic thing?
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Maybe it’s just life experiences that have caused them to be that way…My children used to have these gorgeous happy life-full eyes and all of a sudden they began having this sad look on their eyes even when they smile or seem happy… I have noticed that lately a little glimmer of light is starting to shine back…I hope I am doing things right to bring back those gorgeous happy eyes of theirs! I hate seeing my babies with sad eyes… 😦
 
KayFrisco said:
I agree completely. Whatever the origin, our thoughts and actions certainly influence (even perpetuate) which direction our moods & attitudes go in.
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ooooooh yes 👍
that’s so true ! Life has been so much more fun since I’ve changed my attitude towards it ! And really, a mere smile can turn everyday life to such a joyful experiment…
 
I’m usually a happy lady but I’ve been told about a sadness in my own eyes, mainly by a friend who’s particularly sensitive to it. I happen to agree with Liberanosamalo about it.

I always get told I’m the girl someone would marry but not the girl someone would have fun with. I get told that people have to think of me as asexual, but that it’s “nothing personal” about my ability to be attractive or romantic. I get told that because I’m intelligent, in university and looking at awesome careers that no guy would marry me because somehow my ambitions and intelligence make him feel less of a man. I get told that my sexuality (bisexuality) excludes me from marriage (even though I live chastely) and could be a canonical impediment so I worry that no good Catholic guy would look at me because of it. I get told that I’m a conservative prude (simply because I don’t have sex or wear revealing clothes, even though I’m quite liberal politically and love to have fun and I’m always exploring my city). I get told that I’d be frigid, or that I shouldn’t have kids because, “your body will break after 3” (I have a very slim, small build).

So, if the conversation turns to romance and I end up with a very sad expression on my own face, that’s why.
 
Sanctamaria, don’t let other people define you.

And I know many small women who have lots of children.

The people who tell you you can’t probably never had any either.
 
sanctamaria17 said:
I’m usually a happy lady but I’ve been told about a sadness in my own eyes, mainly by a friend who’s particularly sensitive to it. I happen to agree with Liberanosamalo about it.

I always get told I’m the girl someone would marry but not the girl someone would have fun with. I get told that people have to think of me as asexual, but that it’s “nothing personal” about my ability to be attractive or romantic. I get told that because I’m intelligent, in university and looking at awesome careers that no guy would marry me because somehow my ambitions and intelligence make him feel less of a man. I get told that my sexuality (bisexuality) excludes me from marriage (even though I live chastely) and could be a canonical impediment so I worry that no good Catholic guy would look at me because of it. I get told that I’m a conservative prude (simply because I don’t have sex or wear revealing clothes, even though I’m quite liberal politically and love to have fun and I’m always exploring my city). I get told that I’d be frigid, or that I shouldn’t have kids because, “your body will break after 3” (I have a very slim, small build).

So, if the conversation turns to romance and I end up with a very sad expression on my own face, that’s why.
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Somtimes people are jerks, dont listen to them :(.
 
SomeCatholicGuy said:
I don’t know if it’s just me, but most all young Catholic ladies I’ve met/dated had an unexplainable sadness in their eyes. Maybe that’s what I’m attracted to, but it’s just something I’ve noticed. Perhaps it’s because they’re of the melancholic personality type? Anyone else notice this? Is this a Catholic thing?
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how about this weird thought - do you make them sad or you are not their expectation? 😃 😉 I am teasing you.
 
Folks, after seeing some pictures, I generally think the sadness in the eyes we’ve been talking about is more readily found in people from decades ago. It does show in photos of young people who lived in turbulent times. And yeah, it does make me think the look can be somehow described as Catholic, although I can’t say exclusively so.

For the record, I think I can spot a more joyful look that could somehow still be described as Catholic. Think of a girl who’s plenty of life, playful and whatnot and who’s chuckling, with her eyes well bright, but is not being flirtacious - at least in no sexualised sense. That’d be it.

Time of sowing and time of harvest, I guess.
 
Lady_Bug said:
Maybe they’re really lonely to find a Catholic spouse and they feel pessimistic about it and they hope that whatever relationship they may be in works out soon. 🙂
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Hehe, I was thinking the same :rolleyes:

Could be true, though, it’s tough out there looking for a good catholic partner :confused:

looks with puppy eyes 😛
 
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