A
apromisemade
Guest
So, it happened again.
After a few weekends of putting it off, I finally managed to locate the Catholic Church in my new town, an absolutely beautiful church called the Cathedral of the Annunciation. It was tall, graceful, and fortuitous, with a lovely statue of Mary tucked away next to it beneath a small garden of trees. I had meant really to just see it, but when I noticed one of the doors was unlocked, I gently pushed it open and walked into a small dark room.
On the other side of this room was another door that led into the main Chapel area where Masses were conducted. I noticed it to was unlocked. I went to open it, but once again, when I peered through the stained glass window and saw the vaulting celings, beautiful architecture, altar, statues and images of the saints, and people sitting and praying beneath the huge image of the Crucifix, my courage failed me.
I can hardly explain the feeling I had. It was akin to the strange, thrilling, overwhelming combination of fear and anticipation you feel when you’re waiting for the results of a contest you entered to be anounced.
I felt small to…very small…fragile…vulnerable…in ways I have not felt since I was very young. I literally had flashbacks of my days as the little girl in first grade who would always go sit in the empty soccer fields by herself because she was to intimidated to go play with the other kids on the jungle gym.
That terrified me.
I backed away and turned to leave, but just like last time, discovered that I really didn’t want to. So, again, like last time, I sat down right outside the door.
A few minutes later, a large man in baggy pants and a dirty white t-shirt walked in, payed me a nod, and strode right through door, causal as you please, and walked out a few minutes later in the same manner.
Somehow that made me feel a little better.
So, with my whole body shaking like a leaf and my heart pounding through my chest, I got up, pushed the doors open, and walked in.
It was easily one of the largest churches I’ve ever been in, with lovley wooden seats and graceful and mysterious statues and stained glass window images of the Annunciation, the Crucifiction, and other scenes from the life of Christ.
I walked down the middle of the church and sank to my knees before the cross at the front of the church. I bowed my head and thanked Christ for all the wonderous and beautiful things I have experienced ever since I have started making him a part of my everyday life. The whole time there was a small elderly woman sitting in the pews behind me, and in the back of my mind I was worried she might be bothered by the summertime clothing I was wearing. But when I went to sit down in the seats across from her, she got up, approached me, and handed me a small card, saying “Since you’ve been praying so hard, I’m going to give you this.” I thanked her and looked at it.
It was a small, rectangular card. On one side were side by side images of Mary and Jesus, on the other side was a prayer entitled “Consecration of the Two Hearts.”
They have Mass tommorow late in the morning, and part of me would like to go, but I’m feeling a little uneasy and unsure of what to make of these thoughts and feelings I experienced.
Any advice? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?
After a few weekends of putting it off, I finally managed to locate the Catholic Church in my new town, an absolutely beautiful church called the Cathedral of the Annunciation. It was tall, graceful, and fortuitous, with a lovely statue of Mary tucked away next to it beneath a small garden of trees. I had meant really to just see it, but when I noticed one of the doors was unlocked, I gently pushed it open and walked into a small dark room.
On the other side of this room was another door that led into the main Chapel area where Masses were conducted. I noticed it to was unlocked. I went to open it, but once again, when I peered through the stained glass window and saw the vaulting celings, beautiful architecture, altar, statues and images of the saints, and people sitting and praying beneath the huge image of the Crucifix, my courage failed me.
I can hardly explain the feeling I had. It was akin to the strange, thrilling, overwhelming combination of fear and anticipation you feel when you’re waiting for the results of a contest you entered to be anounced.
I felt small to…very small…fragile…vulnerable…in ways I have not felt since I was very young. I literally had flashbacks of my days as the little girl in first grade who would always go sit in the empty soccer fields by herself because she was to intimidated to go play with the other kids on the jungle gym.
That terrified me.
I backed away and turned to leave, but just like last time, discovered that I really didn’t want to. So, again, like last time, I sat down right outside the door.
A few minutes later, a large man in baggy pants and a dirty white t-shirt walked in, payed me a nod, and strode right through door, causal as you please, and walked out a few minutes later in the same manner.
Somehow that made me feel a little better.
So, with my whole body shaking like a leaf and my heart pounding through my chest, I got up, pushed the doors open, and walked in.
It was easily one of the largest churches I’ve ever been in, with lovley wooden seats and graceful and mysterious statues and stained glass window images of the Annunciation, the Crucifiction, and other scenes from the life of Christ.
I walked down the middle of the church and sank to my knees before the cross at the front of the church. I bowed my head and thanked Christ for all the wonderous and beautiful things I have experienced ever since I have started making him a part of my everyday life. The whole time there was a small elderly woman sitting in the pews behind me, and in the back of my mind I was worried she might be bothered by the summertime clothing I was wearing. But when I went to sit down in the seats across from her, she got up, approached me, and handed me a small card, saying “Since you’ve been praying so hard, I’m going to give you this.” I thanked her and looked at it.
It was a small, rectangular card. On one side were side by side images of Mary and Jesus, on the other side was a prayer entitled “Consecration of the Two Hearts.”
They have Mass tommorow late in the morning, and part of me would like to go, but I’m feeling a little uneasy and unsure of what to make of these thoughts and feelings I experienced.
Any advice? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like this?
