Things you wish you did while still single

[John_AH]

Let me clarify what I mean by single, single as uncommitted. If we commit to the church in some way or form then we are not single.

I believe JP2 said the only way we find ourselves is to make ourselves a sincere gift of self (sorry I know I butchered the quote but it is along those lines). I don’t think we can do that until we commit ourselves. Which we can’t commit alone; we can’t love alone.

I think someone said the only way you could stay single was to have a very high commitment to the church (without taking vows).

God’s servant,
John

 

[CountryMom27]

I met my DH when I was 24, we married shortly after I turned 28. The only change I would have made was to marry a little earlier in our relationship, but that wasn’t entirely up to me . DH is 10 years older and now he is 47 with 2 & 4 yr sons. If we’d married earlier, had kids earlier? maybe now we could have a third. Maybe not.

But I AM very glad that I was single and living on my own for awhile, and that we were married for awhile before we had kids. I travelled, had my career, earned my graduate degree (as did he - twice!), lived in the big city, etc.

My advice would be to enjoy where you are in life and not be in such a hurry to move to the next stage. Trust that the Lord will guide you where He wants you to go. Singleness can be lonely, but it is also empowering. Heck, marriage can be lonely but also empowering.

GL!

 

[duskyjewel]

Is there anything you wish you had done while you were still single? I am single and just making sure I am not “missing out” on anything - thanks!

The OP didn’t give me that impression:shrug:. It seems like a perfectly honest and simple question.

The red part above seems to be expressing the larger cultural idea that by getting married, we are giving up something, losing out. I am thoroughly sick of that attitude… but in fairness to the OP, if I read it wrong, I apologize.

 

[StratusRose]

I wish I had traveled more. I really wanted to go to Europe so we decided to go before having kids, well, having kids came first! We’ll make it there someday.

 

[funnyyetsavvy]

Wish I’d saved more money and wish I’d traveled while in college - had the chance to study in Europe, didn’t go due to parental pressure…

 

[nobeerinheaven]

I should have looked more closely at celibate religious vocations.

Yeah, this was what I generally think - the irony is my wife helped convert me to Catholicism!

 

[jmcrae]

Is there anything you wish you had done while you were still single? I am single and just making sure I am not “missing out” on anything - thanks!

I should have converted to the Catholic faith, and kept on dating Catholic men.

 

[Just_wondering]

I also kind of regret spending so much time and energy waiting, hoping, and looking for “the one.” Now that I’ve been both single and I’ve been married I realize that I can’t say that one is better than the other. They are just different stations or vocations in life that come with their own blessings and challenges. I should have spent less time pining because the grass is certainly not greener on the other side (this works both ways). I should have just appreciated the life that I had at the time instead of always hoping for the future. I feel the need to qualify this by saying, yes I am also happy in my marriage.

My advice would be to enjoy where you are in life and not be in such a hurry to move to the next stage. Trust that the Lord will guide you where He wants you to go. Singleness can be lonely, but it is also empowering. Heck, marriage can be lonely but also empowering.

I appreciate both these pieces of advice. I’m still single now, but hoping to get married to my boyfriend. The estimated date keeps getting pushed further and further back, due to legal, custody (his kids), and immigration issues. I thought I was done with my single days, but it looks like I’ve got another year or two. The advice to just enjoy where I’m at now is difficult to embrace, but I’m going to try. I sleep holding on to a pillow at night, wishing it was him.

 

[OSUbride0708]

Well, I didn’t have to be single to do it, but I think if I was single I would have traveled to another state to do my internship. It certainly would have been more opportunity. However, I have been dating FI since i was 16 and wouldn’t change that for the world. I know that spending that kind of money is not what is good for us, so I decided not to do it. Other than that, nothing even comes to mind. Nothing I could have done single would ever trump being with my love.

 

[KCT]

I wish I had traveled more. I really wanted to go to Europe so we decided to go before having kids, well, having kids came first! We’ll make it there someday.

Go to Europe w/ your kids someday! We went for our 20th anniversary and took the kids. It’s something we’ll never forget.

 

[redtech]

Another thing I wish I had done when I was single was live on my own. I moved from my parents home into my marriage home. .

I did the same thing and regret it a little. I probably would have gone wild though if I lived alone!

I also wish I had spent more time with my best friend doing girl stuff.

 

[HeWillProvide]

Hi all,
Thank you for replying!
When I said I didn’t want to “miss out” on anything before getting married, I meant that I wanted more experiences that people always say they “wish they did before getting married.” Like traveling, for example. Or developing a better sense of self. Stuff like that. Stuff that is easier to do while single - going to school and spending more time on a career and so forth. Definitely no reference to marriage taking away anything. It is just easier to do some things while single, I think, and harder (but not impossible) to do some things while married. Just like it is easier to do some thinsg while married and harder while single (like have children, pay a mortgage, etc.) Of course, these are huge general circumstances, but my question was one in general, anyway. Thank you!

 

[kate64]

I would have pursued my masters degree in teaching. I began to take courses after i was married w/ one child, and dealt w/ my father’s illness. later i had another child. i had 15 of the required 30 credits, but ended up settling for my instructional II certificate. I thought I would have completed the masters program , but unenexpected situations arose. If you are looking to pursue a higher education, do it while you are single. You have less( , well I would hope) responsibilities and would have the time. My only other wish would have been to travel more. my hubby prefers to stay home for vacation, however, we do vacation. I prefer warmer climates and my hubby hates them!

kate