Think I made a bad confession

[michaeldaniels]

I brought something up today during confession…I was on vacation visiting some old buddies from college (no excuse) but we had gotten pretty intoxicated and I really can not recollect the entire evening…I do remember bits and pieces…but I also had some dreams from that evening. Well, to make a long story short, when I went into confession I told the priest of the particular incident, but stated I wasn’t sure if it was reality or just a dream…then after really thinking about it, I believe I was just ashamed of the incident and told him “I am pretty sure it happened” which in hindsight, I believe it really happened…My question for you all is if this invalidates my confession? I was embarrassed at first and was going to chalk it up to the alcohol or a dream…but then stated that I was pretty sure it happened. Other than that, it was an awesome confession. I look forward to your help…thanks

 

[Convert_in_99]

I think it was a good confession. The only part of the evening that you know for sure happened was that you got drunk. Everything else after that was a result of getting drunk, which was still sin, but might be lessened in culpability because you did not have your faculties due to the drunken state. But you confessed both the sin that you got drunk and also shared the events you believed might have happen afterwords. And you seem sorry for this incident. That is enough I do believe. Did the priest seem to think you made a good enough confession? If you are really worried about it you may wish to talk to him again in private about it. There is a slight feel of scrupulosity in your post. Have you ever been told you might have scrupulosity or OCD?

 

[michaeldaniels]

I think I do…at least a little, when it comes to scrups and ocd…but I really think what was bothering me the most is that I went in there almost 100% positive it really happended and I mentioned the dream part kind of to lessen the severity and almost use it as an excuse, but with the validity in mind, that is when I stated “I am pretty sure it did happen”…which in and of itself is not a statement of certainty, but implies that it more than likely did happen. Should I have not left any ambiguity at all? Is that small amount of ambiguity enough to invalidate my confession? I really do not think I said it trying to maliciously deceive the priest…I do remember being nervous and scared and sweating…I know I could have worded it better. I have been under a great deal of stress lately and seeming more worried about my spiritual life than ever…I just want to make sure I am living in a state of grace…not mortal sin

I think it was a good confession. The only part of the evening that you know for sure happened was that you got drunk. Everything else after that was a result of getting drunk, which was still sin, but might be lessened in culpability because you did not have your faculties due to the drunken state. But you confessed both the sin that you got drunk and also shared the events you believed might have happen afterwords. And you seem sorry for this incident. That is enough I do believe. Did the priest seem to think you made a good enough confession? If you are really worried about it you may wish to talk to him again in private about it. There is a slight feel of scrupulosity in your post. Have you ever been told you might have scrupulosity or OCD?

 

[Convert_in_99]

I think I do…at least a little, when it comes to scrups and ocd…but I really think what was bothering me the most is that I went in there almost 100% positive it really happended and I mentioned the dream part kind of to lessen the severity and almost use it as an excuse, but with the validity in mind, that is when I stated “I am pretty sure it did happen”…which in and of itself is not a statement of certainty, but implies that it more than likely did happen. Should I have not left any ambiguity at all? Is that small amount of ambiguity enough to invalidate my confession? I really do not think I said it trying to maliciously deceive the priest…I do remember being nervous and scared and sweating…I know I could have worded it better. I have been under a great deal of stress lately and seeming more worried about my spiritual life than ever…I just want to make sure I am living in a state of grace…not mortal sin

Michael, after reading this I am FOR CERTAIN you have scrupulosity. I also have scrupulosity. If you go and ‘re-confess’ you are going to find something in that confession that is wrong. Then in the next and in the next. It will be a vicious cycle that never ends. Let me ask you some questions. Do you know FOR CERTAIN, without a doubt, that you got drunk? Not all the events that happened afterwards, but getting drunk. Do you know 100% for certain you got drunk? Could you swear before God that you got drunk? Answer these questions directly and I will try to help you from there. Another post to follow…

 

[Convert_in_99]

If you don’t know 100% for certain that you got drunk, if you couldn’t swear before God that you got drunk, if their is ANY doubt as to whether or not you got drunk, then your confession is fine.

If there is no doubt you got drunk. If your 100% for certain you got drunk. If you could swear before God you got drunk. You need only re-confess the sin of getting drunk. Not all the details following, not all the details of getting drunk. Simply say “I got drunk, one time.” That is it. Nothing more period.

One more post to follow…

 

[Convert_in_99]

I would also highly recommend to you are:

1. Get a regular priest to say your confessions too. You can schedule to meet with a priest you know and trust monthly. If you don’t know, check with your parish priest. Tell him you have scruples and would like very much to talk to him about them. If that appointment works then maybe you could meet regularly. Ask him the same questions you have asked here. If your scruples are severe, he may ask for you to see a Christian therapist in addition to Him. He can help you locate a good one in your diocese.
2. Visit the **Scrupulous Anonymous website ** I cannot say enough how helpful this site has been. There is a current newsletter. You may read it on site, or you may send them your home address and they will send you a copy of each new letter as it comes out. Be sure to read over the archived Scrupulous anonymous newsletters for lots of helpful information from priests who deal with scrupulous persons on a regular basis, plus there’s answered questions from fellow brothers and sisters who also suffer from scrupulosity. They even have compiled a book full of questions and answers just like yours. I highly recommend you get a copy. It’s called: ** Understanding Scrupulosity: Questions, Helps, and Encouragement (By: Fr. Thomas M. Santa)**

I hope and pray you are helped by these suggestions and find peace soon. It’s a long hard journey that often lasts a lifetime. But we don’t have to go it alone.

 

[Spirithound]

…we had gotten pretty intoxicated and I really can not recollect the entire evening…but I also had some dreams from that evening.

…then after really thinking about it, I believe I was just ashamed of the incident and told him “I am pretty sure it happened” which in hindsight, I believe it really happened…My question for you all is if this invalidates my confession?

…but with the validity in mind, that is when I stated “I am pretty sure it did happen”

You gave the strongest indication possible, short of absolute certainty, and that is good. You plunged into God’s mercy, and your confession was valid.

 

[michaeldaniels]

thank you so much…both of you, for your wonderful help