That’s a lot to process, but a few thoughts and suggestions. Do not confuse what God wills with what God permits. Like it or not, there is evil in this world, and God allows it to be so for the time being. Frankly, I’m not happy with all of the reasons the Church puts forth for why God allows evil and suffering myself, even though we often bring much of that suffering on ourselves by our choices. Free will is a heavy responsibility, and that’s just how it is.
We will never know on this side of the grave just how often God does intervene in our lives, and I think we will be amazed at how often He actually did assist us when our time comes.
As far as disagreeing with the list of sins, pride has often been listed as the first of all sins, and obedience does not always come easily, I know. Nevertheless, we are called to obey. Despite what nonbelievers will tell you, we don’t make the rules, God does. And more than just obey, we are called to love each other, which can transform simple obedience into joy.
I don’t want to sound hard, but if all you’re doing to live out your faith is spending one hour a week at Sunday Mass, and you consider that a great burden you need to step away from, it seems to me you’ve already more or less stepped away from your faith. Think about it.
My advice, become more engaged. I don’t necessarily mean with Church related things either, but get out and help someone as you are able. Help a friend, your family, or volunteer somewhere. Listen to Pope Francis, who spends more time talking about helping others than on following or agreeing with every single rule (to the chagrin of some). Don’t get me wrong, the rules are important, but living them out with love, instead of feeling oppressed by them, can give the Faith more meaning and purpose in our lives.
Keep praying over it too, don’t give up! May God bless you as you struggle through this.