Think my mom and stepdad might be having problems

[apromisemade]

I’m really worried about my mom and stepdad. Well, actually about my mom more than anything.

When I went home to visit for spring break and my stepdad was visiting another country, my mom told me that he’d been having problems with his buisness and it had hurt not only his finances. Apparently he’d repeatedly told her she “should go be with someone who could provide for [her].” Of course she said she would do nothing of the sort. But he’s been spending a lot of time away from their home, she told me he’s been almost trying to find jobs and reasons to go out of state.

And lately I’ve noticed little things to. I was talking on the phone with her a little while ago and she talked about bumping into a woman who was going through a breakup, and then while describing her encounter, said something to the effect of “I’m going through the same things myself.” Not only that, when I would call home before, the answering machine would say “You have reached {my moms name} and {my stepdads name},” now it just says, “You have reaced {my home phone number}.”

I’m really worried. My mom hasn’t explicitly told me they’re going to break up, and I’ve tried to ask subtle questions like “How’s he (my stepdad) doing, I mean like, overall” and she will tell me he’s coming home soon.

Part of me just wants to ask her straight up if she thinks they may seperate, then again, since I’m not at home right now and trying to focus on work and school, maybe it’s not really any of my buisness anymore.

What do you guys think? Should I just stay out of it, whatever it is?

Or am I just reading too much into these things?

 

[gardenswithkids]

I’m really worried about my mom and stepdad. Well, actually about my mom more than anything.

…Part of me just wants to ask her straight up if she thinks they may seperate, then again, since I’m not at home right now and trying to focus on work and school, maybe it’s not really any of my buisness anymore.

What do you guys think? Should I just stay out of it, whatever it is?

Or am I just reading too much into these things?

Your mom (and your step-dad) might not know the answer to your questions yet. I don’t think you are neccesarily reading too much into the situation, therefore I would strongly suggest you hold them up in prayer. Sounds like they are going through some difficult times, both financially and with their relationship. Financial and work problems put stress on marriages.

Let them know you love them and care about them. Other than telling them you love them, keeping in touch on a regular basis, and praying for them, I would think it best to focus on your studies and work. Try not to worry too much about whatever is happening with them. If the situation resolves, it’s not too much of your business about the specifics of happened in their marriage, and if the situation doesn’t resolve, they’ll eventually let you know.

Prayers for them and you.

 

[srlucado]

Your mom (and your step-dad) might not know the answer to your questions yet. I don’t think you are neccesarily reading too much into the situation, therefore I would strongly suggest you hold them up in prayer. Sounds like they are going through some difficult times, both financially and with their relationship. Financial and work problems put stress on marriages.

Let them know you love them and care about them. Other than telling them you love them, keeping in touch on a regular basis, and praying for them, I would think it best to focus on your studies and work. Try not to worry too much about whatever is happening with them. If the situation resolves, it’s not too much of your business about the specifics of happened in their marriage, and if the situation doesn’t resolve, they’ll eventually let you know.

Prayers for them and you.

Agreed. I’d like to think that not every couple that has problems, even serious problems, automatically ends up divorcing.

 

[erick99]

Your stepdad has taken a real blow to his ego and part of his response is to to see if your mom still loves him and values him. He, like most of us guys, has a hard time coming straight out and asking a question. Instead, he suggests that she could do better and hopes for just the response that she gave. Your mom, as she told a friend, is going through a tough time. Sharing her problems with other people is a pretty good way of feeling better and maybe even getting some useful advice.

Your mom might welcome the opportunity to answer your questions. You may not like all of the answers but at least you’d have a much better idea of what is going on and less dependent on guessing.

I’ve seen this over and over in counseling situations and the best advice I can give you is that more communication is always better (well, within reason). I hope your mom and stepdad are able to communicate about this as well.

Are you also worried about how all of this might impact you?

Take care,

Erick

 

[apromisemade]

Your stepdad has taken a real blow to his ego and part of his response is to to see if your mom still loves him and values him. He, like most of us guys, has a hard time coming straight out and asking a question. Instead, he suggests that she could do better and hopes for just the response that she gave. Your mom, as she told a friend, is going through a tough time. Sharing her problems with other people is a pretty good way of feeling better and maybe even getting some useful advice.

Your mom might welcome the opportunity to answer your questions. You may not like all of the answers but at least you’d have a much better idea of what is going on and less dependent on guessing.

I’ve seen this over and over in counseling situations and the best advice I can give you is that more communication is always better (well, within reason). I hope your mom and stepdad are able to communicate about this as well.

Are you also worried about how all of this might impact you?

Take care,

Erick

Thank you for your response. I definately think you’re right about how it has effected my stepdad, I noticed a similar reaction, emotion wise, from my biological father when he got laid off.

As far as how it might impact me? Honestly, I hadn’t really thought about that. More than anything I’m really worried about my mom and how she’ll handle being by herself. She’s even told me recently ever since high school she’s always had a man in her life. That’s kind of hard to, I mean, I’ve always thought of my mom as such a strong and independent person, but when I talk to her about what it’s like to be by herself so much now that my stepdad’s away so much…

I just worry.