Thinking about abandoning Rome

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I would recommend reading Robert Royal’s Catholic Martyrs of the Twentieth Century. A great account of how during the horrors of totalitarian governmental muders in the millions by Communism and Fascism, the Catholic Church’s behavior as whole outshined all other the religious institutions that caved faster than a spelunker. That is a mark of the True Church.

Scott
 
I second the idea of checking out an Eastern Rite Catholic church if you can find one in your area. The liturgy of the East is much more solemn and reverent than the “spirit of vatican two” masses that are often (but not always) imposed on us Westerners. Also have you looked for a Latin Mass in your area? That might help too, with getting more out of Mass. It sounds to me like you’re experiencing a long period of what is called aridity - where prayer and Mass just don’t seem to “do” anything. I’ve been through it too, so have many saints, just hang in there and do the best you can.

As for resolving the conflict between East and West - good luck, it is a very confusing issue. Honestly, I feel the fathers point towards Rome, but I’d bet anything that had I been born Orthodox and studied the fathers, I’d conclude they pointed to the East. It’s not an easy issue to solve. And while I don’t want to encourage schism, there are alot of things worse than becoming Eastern Orthodox. THey still have apostolic succession, the sacraments, sacred tradition, etc. It’s not like becoming a sola scriptura protestant.
 
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Madaglan:
Of course we go to mass to give glory to God. However, my problem is not so much in what I receive following the mass–such a sense of euphoria, joy, or whatever–so much as it is being able to experience the conditions necessary for me to openly express my praise to God, and to come into closer communion with Him through contrite prayer. In other words, I have problems with the structure by which we give glory to God. Everything is pre-planned for the congregation to say; and the liturgy is read so rapidly that there is little time for contemplation in between prayers. In other words, my experience is that we have enough time to speak the words with our tongues but not enough time to speak with our whole being. I think that’s really the core issue. When I go to mass I do not feel as though I’m praying, but rather that I am only going through a rapid-fire routine. I wish that there were a greater number of pauses interspersed throughout the liturgy. Then I could actually pray. That is what I really want to get from going to mass: the fulfilling opportunity of coming into a closer relationship with God. Does that make sense to everyone?

Thank you for all your prayers.
I was baptized Catholic, but raised Protestant. I am on my way to becoming a Catholic, now, thanks be to God. There was a time when I felt the way that you do, but I don’t feel that way any longer. My opinions were based on what I saw on TV or movies. It all looked very dry. However, after having gone through many Protestant churches where the congregation sits silent (except for the occasional “amen”) for 30 plus minutes while the preacher preaches ( and sometimes yells) from the pulpit, I now see the difference. The Catholic church actually allows its faithful to participate in the Mass instead of just sitting there. Admittedly, when I first started going to Mass, the change was a little hard to get used to. However, I now feel ( just recently, btw) that it is all designed to ensure that the proper reverance is given and felt. So, when I go to Mass, I go a little early, kneel down and pray for God to prepare my heart for the Mass. And I try to say my responses with feeling and from the heart instead of just rote repetition. It is active worship, I suppose. Also, reading the Bible helps to perpetuate a feeling of fullness for me. There are times when I don’t “feel” as fuzzy as I would like, but those are just feelings, which are governed by all sorts of things. The knowledge of what is really happening sustains me at those times.
These are just my thoughts that I share in an effort to help you if I can. In no way do I claim to be any kind of authority. I am on the winning end of a struggle, myself, so I know how you feel. After experiencing Mass and learning all that I have learned so far, I can’t see myself being anything but Catholic. I have a ways to go, but I know that I am on the right path. I hope this helps you.

Peace to you,
Sherilo
 
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Madaglan:
What are the defining characteristics of Carmelite spirituality? I know a priest who is a secular Carmelite (or something to that effect.) Maybe I’ll ask him.
Great idea! Here’s a thread about OCDS, the secular branch of the Discalced Carmelites. Don’t worry they’ll let you keep your shoes on. 🙂
When I go to mass I do not feel as though I’m praying, but rather that I am only going through a rapid-fire routine.
I think that the GIRM calls for some silence. You might consider writing a letter to your priest, or talking to him. I’ve never had to do this but people do seem to advise that such a letter should be polite and should avoid any sense of lecturing the priest. You might focus on your experience and your own questions: this will help you to keep the letter humble. You may have a calling to slow down the liturgy a mite, where you are located. Also, as I suggested: go in to the chapel prior to mass, by an hour or so, and talk to Jesus, ask for His help, talk to Mary our Mother, and read the Scriptures slowly.
 
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Madaglan:
Of course we go to mass to give glory to God. However, my problem is not so much in what I receive following the mass–such a sense of euphoria, joy, or whatever–so much as it is being able to experience the conditions necessary for me to openly express my praise to God, and to come into closer communion with Him through contrite prayer. In other words, I have problems with the structure by which we give glory to God. Everything is pre-planned for the congregation to say; and the liturgy is read so rapidly that there is little time for contemplation in between prayers. In other words, my experience is that we have enough time to speak the words with our tongues but not enough time to speak with our whole being. I think that’s really the core issue. When I go to mass I do not feel as though I’m praying, but rather that I am only going through a rapid-fire routine. I wish that there were a greater number of pauses interspersed throughout the liturgy. Then I could actually pray. That is what I really want to get from going to mass: the fulfilling opportunity of coming into a closer relationship with God. Does that make sense to everyone?
Mad’,
I left the faith for over 34 years…don’t do it.
Today when I am at Mass I am there to worship my risen Lord in the Eucharist and to share in His promised miracle that allows me to become a living tabernacle for a while. (Though I do know that He lives in me anyway. This time just makes it all the more real and my time w/him even more intimate & full of worship) Nobody else has that…nobody… Just by itself it is a treasure worth selling all to possess. I like to show up early for Mass & to remain behind after. I love to pray the Rosary before and one church I attend does it every day. I love Eucharistic adoration & I wish there was a perpetual adoration chapel nearby. i might spend the night 🙂
These are rough times for believers. The enemy is really on our case…but like Tom Rutkoski says, that just means that this is the church that God is in because the devil assaults it so diligently. It’s one of the reasons that we are all called by the term “Church Militant”. Hold Fast! IM me on aim as Deshperado if ya wanna talk more.
Pax vobis.
 
Originally Quoted by Minerva:

As for resolving the conflict between East and West - good luck, it is a very confusing issue. Honestly, I feel the fathers point towards Rome, but I’d bet anything that had I been born Orthodox and studied the fathers, I’d conclude they pointed to the East. It’s not an easy issue to solve. And while I don’t want to encourage schism, there are alot of things worse than becoming Eastern Orthodox. THey still have apostolic succession, the sacraments, sacred tradition, etc. It’s not like becoming a sola scriptura protestant.
Yes, it indeed is a very confused issue. I agree that each sides has its own view. For this reason we should question everything and hold onto what passes the test and is found good. This Christmas I receive a 10-volume set of ante-Nicene writings. It is my intention to read these books and to determine how the Fathers thought and viewed Christianity. I think sometimes we come across a passage that vaguely resembles one of our beliefs, and we automatically use that passage as a defense of our belief. However, sometimes we don’t look into the literary and historical context.

One example of how we as Catholics might overlook historical context involves the early letter, I Clement. We Catholics use the expressions contained within this letter as an early example of papal authority over Cathololics of a different church. However, when I myself read this epistle, I found nothing to demonstrate that Clement used any universal papal authority when dealing with the Corinthians.

Recently I have thought about the letter and where it should be placed in history. The letter suggests that it is written shortly after the Neronian persecutions. The fire of Rome was in AD 67. Nero blamed the Christians for the fire and quickly began persecuting them. Nero committed suicide in AD 69, and the persecutions of his reign ended.

The date we attach to I Clement is AD 80, some eleven years following the persecutions of Nero. The two successive emperors, Vespassian (AD 69-79) and his son, Titus (AD 79- 81), slackened the persecution of Christians in the city of Rome. (I have found no evidence to suggest that Roman Christians faced significant persecution under these two reigns.) The two emperors were seen as humane in comparison with previous emperors. In short, there is a discrepancy between what the letter describes (particuarily recent persecution) and the absence of perseuction in c. AD 80, the date we attach to the letter’s composition.

It is much more likely that Clement wrote in behalf of the Church of Rome as a representative, not as the bishop. His frequent use of the word “we” is therefore to be taken literally. He does not use the word “we” to mean the royal “I.” Anyhow, that is how I see things right now. The Catholic dating of I Clement is just one example of the many increasing conflicts I am having with Roman Catholic beliefs. These beliefs seem to work out at first glance, and still work when one does a cursory read of the Fathers; but when one really studies the context of events and passages used to defend Roman Catholic beliefs, one discovers loopholes. Sad to say but true. 😦
 
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Madaglan:
It is much more likely that Clement wrote in behalf of the Church of Rome as a representative, not as the bishop. His frequent use of the word “we” is therefore to be taken literally. He does not use the word “we” to mean the royal “I.”. . …These beliefs seem to work out at first glance, and still work when one does a cursory read of the Fathers; but when one really studies the context of events and passages used to defend Roman Catholic beliefs, one discovers loopholes. Sad to say, but for me that is an increasing experience. 😦
Mad, the whole full-blown papal authority package does not appear in the first or second or third Century. It developed (legitimately, I would say) over centuries of the Church rubbing elbows with history. (Like the Huns, for example.) For me (aside from Mt 16:18), the privilege of Peter is shown in the greeting at the head of his first Epistle, where he addresses churches evangelized and established by Paul.

Have fun with the Fathers. I’m jealous.
 
Hi Madaglan,
I’m sorry to hear you are thinking of leaving the Catholic Church …the one that Jesus started and made Peter the supreme shepard of his flock.The entire flock of Christ–the sheep and the lambs; the bishops, priests and people–were to be under the jurisdiction of Peter.
I too was a cradle Catholic with luke-warm instruction of the Church, so I left at an yearly age (not for another religion) but b/c lack of faith drove me away. It took 15 years of stumbling along to finally figure out that “comming home” was what I needed to do. I truely beleive the Holy Spirit had something to so with it!
Code:
wisdom, understanding, councel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord.
~~~The gifts of the Holy Spirit are the "lubricant" of the soul as grace is the power of the soul.
 
I think that what you need to do in addition to going to Franciscan Univerisity is that you can start going to perpetual adoration. You should be able to find a Catholic Church near you that at least offers it some limited hours.

You long for the kind of prayer that can occur in the presence of Christ in the monstrance. The mass is a “community prayer”; its functions are different. You long for the personal prayer that Catholics are suppose to get from Adoration.

The thing about being a Catholic is that mass attendance is our bear minimum obligation. There are so many other fruits of our faith that you can take advantage of that will help you develop the relationship you desire.

Also, you might want to find a spirtual advisor (priest) with whom you can talk with about your concerns. A good spirtual advisor will challenge you in your faith and he will also be conservative in his theology. You can also check out the lay group Ragnum Christi.

Blessings.
 
Look at the concern and response that you got from this post. Isn’t it wonderful that these Catholics took time out to try and help you? I had a friend that left her life long Catholic Fath of over 50 years and converted to the Orthodox side due to her love for the music and 2 to 3 hour Masses. The last I heard about her is that this conversion did not last. I don’t know if she even goes to church now. Our Church built on Peter is the Church of Jesus. Find a group that has deep faith and meet with them. There are many Religious Orders that allow lay people to become associate members.

May God bless you,
Deacon Tony SFO
 
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Madaglan:
What presently is pulling me more away from the Catholic Church than anything else is my personal experience with the Church. . . .I have had negative experiences with church and other Catholics. . . .I have yet to personally find one Catholic who really wants to learn more about his or her faith. . . … I thought that in joining Newman Club here on campus I’d find someone with whom I could learn more about Christ and the Church; but I am dissapointed . . . I’m also having problems with The Mass. I believe in the Real Presence, but when I go to mass everything is so bland, and I have a difficult time in prayer when at mass. . . . I just don’t fit in. . . . I often find myself wandering away from the liturgical prayers and engaging in private talks with God.

Anyhow, I started attending a Charistmatic prayer group in the hope that I would find individuals who desire to draw themselves into a closer relationship with God through prayer and thanksgiving. I . . . So, I’m thinking about converting to Orthodoxy–in other words, abandoning Rome to join the Catholic Church. Deep down I have a deep desire to join religious life; but I also have a deep desire to marry. . . … If anyone can think of a reason why I should remain a Roman Catholic (Or even a Traditional Catholic) I would be happy to hear.

I mean no offense by this post, so please don’t take any. Just having difficulties with Roman Catholicism. .
respectfully, what you decribe is not difficulty with Catholic teaching, doctrine or moral theology. What you describe is difficulty, setbacks, and questions that are normal part of spiritual growth and development. You also describe interpersonal problems with individuals and groups. You describe a process of searching for intellectual validation, sense experiences, emotions, feelings and for assurance that God hears you and speaks to you directly without the mediation of Church or spiritual direction, at the time, place and condition you dictate.

You also describe disatisfaction with the way in which other Catholics pray, interpret scripture, participate in the Mass, and conduct their own spirituals lives. You cavalierly dismiss the many sincere people you converse with regularly on this forum by saying you have not met any Catholics interested in spiritual growth and doctrinal truth.

For someone who has studied doctrine and Church history as thoroughly as you claim to do, you display a shocking confusion over the differences between the Catholic Church and the Orthodox, which you would do well to clear up before you transmogrify. Be advised that you will not be welcome as a convert to Orthodoxy, or to change Rites within the Catholic church if you do it for the purpose of being allowed to marry and pursue a priestly vocation.

My dear young friend, you are not running away from the Church of Rome, you are running away from yourself.
 
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puzzleannie:
Be advised that you will not be welcome as a convert to Orthodoxy, or to change Rites within the Catholic church if you do it for the purpose of being allowed to marry and pursue a priestly vocation.
The desire to become Orthodox should be (and likely is) a separate and distinct issue from desiring to become a priest. In other words, if the person wishes to become Orthodox and (by the way) would like to be a priest I am sure that he will be more than welcome.

The fact that he might not see being married as an impediment to ordination will not be held against him, because his future bishop will agree.

This would also be true if he were to decide to become an Eastern Catholic. The key here is that the person should want to make the change because of the theology, not because he wants to be a priest.

+T+
 
Mag,
I’m not smart enough, Holy enough or brave enough to tell you what you need to do. Do what you feel you must do. But always remember this…
You can always abandon Rome. But Rome will never abandon you.
The Door is always open. God Bless You and don’t forget to write.
 
Just a small comment; I once had a Nun ask me, “If you don’t feel the presence of God, who moved?” Think about that. I did, and am very strong in my faith. I will be praying for you so much!
 
This is for you to discern, but I think your first post revealed a lot. You FEEL barren. Not close to God. You perceive others as having that feeling and you want it. Consider the probability that your emotional desire for that feeling is generating some rationalizations for leaving what your intellect knows is the true Church!

First, I suggest a book called Enthusiasm by Ronald (or is it Rolland) Knox. An old book, possibly not in print. Might be tough to find. Dry reading, but great understanding of the problem of excessive reliance on warm fuzzies for sustaining faith.

If the weakening continues, consider a year off of school doing ministry work. Since you are familiar with charismatic people, consider NET Ministries for a year of doing youth ministry and along the way getting an incredible catholic education, fellowship and prayer life building experience.

Next, I’d say consider the practical defects of Orthodoxy. One of the primary missions of the Church is to “Go and make disciples of all nations.” Look at the geographical reach of Orthodoxy today versus where it was at the time of the schism. Pathetic. The Orthodox Church has failed miserably in the mission of evangelization. Not a healthy indicator of Christ’s true church, compared to the global reach of catholicism.

If you finally DO decide to go east, investigate your destination carefully. Some of the “Orthodox” parishes which contain a lot of evangelical converts are NOT in real communion with the Orthodox church. They are “non-cannonical” which means they created themselves with the look and feel of orthodoxy, but ARE NOT in communion with the orthodoxy of apostolic succession. This means the priests are NOT validly ordained and you lose most of the sacraments!
 
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manualman:
First, I suggest a book called Enthusiasm by Ronald (or is it Rolland) Knox. An old book, possibly not in print. Might be tough to find. Dry reading, but great understanding of the problem of excessive reliance on warm fuzzies for sustaining faith.
Great post in general manualman but MAN! do I take exception to recommending this book to someone who is foundering. I love it but it is about 275 pages more than Mag needs right now.

Take home point of Knox’s book: heretics are NUTS!
 
It looks like you’ve had quite a few good responses, I’m not sure what more I can offer except my own experiences and understanding, as limited as they are.

I’ve found, unfortunately, that you cannot depend on the example of those around you most of the time. You can only depend on Christ, Mary, and the saints for this. I also look to those of strong faith that are well known and read things from them: Scott Hahn, Father John Corapi, etc. I have been able to find a few good parishes to attend as well and met with people that share the mind of the Church. I don’t get to speak with them as often as I’d like to to time schedules and distance, but it is comforting to at least know there are a few out there.

You are definitely being tested, but this can only help to strengthen your faith and grow if you approach it objectively. Things must be looked at in the entire scope of history. The Church Fathers are great, but not outside the context of history itself. I’ve read “A History of Christendom” by Warren Carroll. I’ve also said this in many other of my posts, but I keep in mind the Eucharistic Miracles, the approved apparitions and their accompanying miracles, the incorruptibles, etc. There are times when I am tempted to doubt what is true, and I must call upon all I know to be true in prayer to overcome this temptation.

If you have a chance to read the Catena Aurea that was compiled by Thomas Aquinas, especially the Gospel of John, I think that might help you as well. It can be found online for free.

God bless you and may Christ’s Truth and Peace be always with you.
 
Originally Quoted by puzzleannie:

For someone who has studied doctrine and Church history as thoroughly as you claim to do, you display a shocking confusion over the differences between the Catholic Church and the Orthodox, which you would do well to clear up before you transmogrify.
Could you please explain what “shocking confusion” exists in my mind?

While I am not a theologian, I believe I have a working understanding of the differences between the two Churches. For one, Orthodox omit the filioque passage from the Creed, since the words “and the Son” did not appear in the ecumenical version of the creed (which stated that the creed was to remain unchanged). The words did, however, appear in local councils, especially in Spain (I believe the Council of Toledo was one such council), where the altered Creed was used to combat Arianism. Second, the Orthodox reject the notion that the bishop or Rome has an authority over all the other bishops. I’ve read several books on the early Church, including Eusebius’ early account. The idea that the bishop of Rome had any superior authority over the other churches is not present in what I have read of the early Church. Rome was seen at times as the spiritual authority, since it was relatively pure of the heresies like Arianism and Nestorianism, which especially ravaged the East; but Rome was not seen as in possession of an over-riding authority over the decisions made by previous ecumencial councils.

There are other minor differences I know of, too: The Orthodox canon contains additional OT books, the Orthodox have a different understanding of Original Sin (guilt not inherited through procreative act, as Augustine claimed), no belief in a separate place of Purgatory, different understanding of the Trinity, chrisimation immediately after baptism, different teleological understandings (primary end of marriage, for example, is cooperative spiritual development, not procreation, which is a secondary end), and the list goes on.

In any case, there are many differences between the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church. I am presently reading Timothy Ware’s *The Orthodox Church, *which, if naturally biased, does give some understanding of what Orthodox believe.

If you think that I would convert simply because of how I perceive people act in the Church, or because I do not “feel” satisfaction from the Church and its laws, you unfortunately do not understand me. My key problem is that I see differences between the Catholic Church and the Early Church of the first few hundred years of Christendom. Any personal feelings of dissatisfaction I might have are secondary to my pursuit of the truth. If I valued the stimulation of neurons over the truth, I would have joined an e-free church near me, which my sister and friends attend.

The one thing which bothers me most is that the Catholic Church make it seem like there is little dividing the Catholic Church from the Orthodox Church. The Catholic Church claims that there is little separating the two Churches from a common Eucharist. I do not believe the Orthodox hold the same view.

In any case, I apologize if I appear to condemn the Catholic Church. That’s not my intention. I’m just having real problems reconciling what I have learned so far concerning early Church history, and the present state of the Catholic Church.

If anything I said demonstrates a “shocking confusion” of the differences between Orthodox and Catholic beliefs, please teach me the way out of this confusion.
 
By the way, I wanted to let everyone know that I attended a different parish than the two I’m used to. The priest proceeded with the liturgy much more slowly than at my home parish and campus parish. The people at this other parish were much more friendly, too. So, what I said earlier about my negative experience with parishes concerns mostly the two which, because of my location, I have attended thus far in my life.

I suppose that I’ve just had such a bad experience with my fellow Catholics much of my life that I know very few “genuine” Catholics. Most of the people on these forums are very supportive and conservative, and I do not mean to slight any of you when I talk about my problems with the Catholics around me; but I have nobody “in person” with whom I can talk about the Catholic faith. When the only people “in person” with whom you can really talk about Christ are your several Bible-perusing non-Catholics, you also end up wondering why these people are more inclined to talk about God than your fellow Catholics. I know that it is wrong to judge the whole of the Catholic Church based on the part; and I try to make myself aware of this as much as possible; but at the same time, the negative psychological effect is great.

Puzzleannie, I apologize if I came off a little hard on you in my message. Perhaps I do have some misunderstandings between the Catholic Church and the Orthodox Church; but I acknowledge there are more differences than one might suspect from the CCC.

To everyone else: thank you for your recommendations. I think I’ll use the gift money I received to purchase Carroll’s history of the Church. I’ll also check out Enthusiasm. 😃
 
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