I wouldn’t call it a problem
Indeed we both agree on something: discerning one’s vocation is no doubt an inner struggle.
Such a process requires two important things. First, to approach Christ - we cannot discern God’s will for us if we are not first trying to grow closer to Christ, through prayer and the Sacraments. Second, the Church needs to be involved. Surely there is a need for us to dedicate time to the Lord, quiet time solely to meditate on discernment of our vocation…we need a more regular prayer life, not like the schedule proper for a religious, but a simple one that fits our state of life, say a few minutes in the morning and right before bed, a half hour or an hour once a week before the Blessed Sacrament or a tabernacle, a decade of the Rosary every day…this is how we dispose ourselves to trust in Christ, how we open ourselves to God’s will…we must draw away from the world in order to hear the voice of God…not run away from the world - God forbid - but rather be “in the world but not of the world”.
Once we start walking that way, we will be more recollected…only then can we discern what is God telling us…what desires He is giving us…whether your feelings are good feelings in accordance with the spirit of Christ or whether there is some degree of disorder (and there certainly is in all of us, that’s the key issue). At this point is when you come to realize that you cannot figure things out on your own…many good modern resources on vocation will mention the transition between the anonymous discernment online and the personal discernment in which the Church is involved. This is the stage in which you talk to a priest for spiritual direction, because you need a guide who will have the charism of understanding your soul and suggesting steps that will quiet down the “other” voices and allow God’s voice to resound clearly…
Mind you, this is much needed
particularly if your vocation is Holy Matrimony. Marriage is not a
right. It is a vocation, just like religious life. It must be discerned. Few realize this. And Christ will always confirm His vocation through the Church.
Thus the necessary step is to grow in trust of Christ by an even more committed prayer life, and to talk to a priest about spiritual direction - even if it be for just a few sessions and then you have to move to another place.
Now you mention you “feel able to live religious life”. A priori, I disagree with such a statement: I think you mean you are
willing to live that life. To say “we feel we are able” is to bring up an issue of pride
“We are unprofitable servants”, and all good we accomplish, be it in single, married, or religious life is through Him who gives us strength. Have you ever visited a monastery for a retreat? Have you ever tried a period of novitiate? How do you know that you can live the religious life, especially given that every order has a special charism? The life of a Daughter of St. Paul is different from that of a cloistered Discalded Carmelite, which is different from that of a Missionary of Charity (just to mention three drops in an ocean of love). I do agree: it is already a wonderful thing - of which you ought to be grateful - that you are willing to serve the Lord in the most perfect life, the consecrated life. But this most perfect life is not necessarily the
best life - as someone already mentioned. The
best life is the one that matches your vocation.
So the approach to discernment must become a peaceful, joyful approach…“the Lord has graciously thought about something that will make me really happy and allow me to save many souls…I think it would be so great to find out what that is!” No place for fear or anxiety here
It is not like the silver coin that we lost and must absolutely find…it is more like the balm poured over the feet of the Master…a gift of love and kindness…we can strive for sanctity and for the salvation of souls in countless ways…but to find the
best way, we must look for it with trust, peace, and sheer love! One of the apostles mentioned that perhaps more good would have been done if that balm had been sold and the money used on behalf of the poor…and that isn’t an erroneous thought…we are that balm, and we can do lots of good things in many different ways…but Christ blessed the woman who was called, of all ways, to simply pour it on His feet out of love…that is our vocation! Whether it be married life, religious life, single life…whether it be to have a numerous family in prosperity or to be a missionary amidst extreme poverty…it is the desire to pour the balm of our love on the Lord just because He is…
Christ once recalled His own vocation in a private revelation to Sr. Josefa Menendez:
During thirty years I knew the hard toil of an obscure workshop, bearing the contempt and indifference of those for whom My father St. Joseph worked. Nor did I disdain to help My Mother in the humble and hidden occupations of her poor household. Had I not more knowledge than was needed for the humble trade of a carpenter, I who at twelve years of age taught the Doctors in the Temple? But such was my Father’s will and consequently it was in this way that I gave Him glory. When I swept and laboured in the workshop of Nazareth, I gave as much glory to My Father as when I preached during My public life.
Your happiness and perfection do not lie in following your attraction, nor in living known or unknown to the world, in using or hiding the talents with which you have been endowed, in being though much of or little…in having good health or not…but only and solely in embracing with love God’s will, and being in perfect conformity with it in all it requires of you for His glory and your holiness.
I so much want souls to understand this! It is not the action in itself that is of value; it is the intention with which it is done.
Spiritual direction is something essential, especially under time of distress. If this is not an option, then just talk to a local priest! He will be glad to provide some help.
) and talk to your best friends, the priests of Jesus Christ, the instruments of the Lord in helping us discern how can we be most pleasing to the Lord and do the most good in this life.