Thinking and thoughts

[MaryRita85]

I went to confession, thank goodness, it was not him.
Father stated that it is not wrong to want to be around someone of God, especially when my spouse is not showing the same faith and interest as I am, but the thoughts could lead to more harm than good, if I am not careful. I need to focus on my family and on my activities at the church, so when any thoughts that may be inappropriate arise, I can nip them in the bud. I need to find more young women and families at the Church that will keep me close to God so maybe I wont’ put all of my attention to him. So it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought but it was weighing heavy on my heart so I did the right thing by going.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Thank you,
Why does the idea of visiting another Parish, even only to confess, terrify me??lol

I don’t know, actually! I’m exactly the opposite—I’d suffocate if I stayed within one parish. As it is, I have my territorial parish, a secondary parish, the ICRSS oratory and the cathedral. (Don’t ask. It’s complicated. ) I have confessed at all except the oratory.

I went to confession, thank goodness, it was not him.
Father stated that it is not wrong to want to be around someone of God, especially when my spouse is not showing the same faith and interest as I am, but the thoughts could lead to more harm than good, if I am not careful. I need to focus on my family and on my activities at the church, so when any thoughts that may be inappropriate arise, I can nip them in the bud. I need to find more young women and families at the Church that will keep me close to God so maybe I wont’ put all of my attention to him. So it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought but it was weighing heavy on my heart so I did the right thing by going.

I’m glad you feel better and have gotten some (name removed by moderator)ut on your situation. I spend a lot of time around priests and, to a lesser extent, seminarians (in fact I’m headed to the seminary in just under two hours and will be there all evening) and I imagine it’s quite easy to cross the line, even if only in thought, if one is not careful. The priest you confessed to has some sound advice. All the best to you! :hug3:

 

[MaryRita85]

I don’t know, actually! I’m exactly the opposite—I’d suffocate if I stayed within one parish. As it is, I have my territorial parish, a secondary parish, the ICRSS oratory and the cathedral. (Don’t ask. It’s complicated. ) I have confessed at all except the oratory.

I’m glad you feel better and have gotten some (name removed by moderator)ut on your situation. I spend a lot of time around priests and, to a lesser extent, seminarians (in fact I’m headed to the seminary in just under two hours and will be there all evening) and I imagine it’s quite easy to cross the line, even if only in thought, if one is not careful. The priest you confessed to has some sound advice. All the best to you! :hug3:

Haha, wow! I think I will keep to my close knit little parish (well it isn’t very small)!
Thank you, Becoming aware is the first step to making sure I don’t let myself get out of hand. In the past, I have had much trouble with becoming obsessed

 

[ATeNumquam]

Haha, wow! I think I will keep to my close knit little parish (well it isn’t very small)!
Thank you, Becoming aware is the first step to making sure I don’t let myself get out of hand. In the past, I have had much trouble with becoming obsessed

Well done, MaryRita!!
Being open about it like that showed bravery and good intentions on your part. You got good advice.
Awareness is invaluable!

I too have had a great battle with becoming obsessed. How many times it has led me into trouble and (speaking just for myself, not you) into a lot of self-delusion.
I at least know myself a lot better now (please God!) and I can see it happening and even laugh at myself a bit, and that stops me getting too bogged down, or down on myself.

 

[Joy2day]

Are thoughts that are sinful the same as commiting the sin? Do I need to go to reconcilliation? How would I word having thoughts about someone ( they are not sexual in nature just wanting to be around him as I feel deep emotion towards him)? So not sexual but I am married and he really shouldn’t be someone I am thinking about, way too embarrassed to say why. Is this harmful?

I am not sure how you can feel deep emotion for someone you don’t really know all that well. There is also the saying that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’, so there’s always that possibility. If it is an infatuation, then staying at a distance, and idolising the person will only enhance it, cause the feelings are based on your imagination rather than on reality. Maybe a counsellor can help you to analyse what this ‘deep emotion’ is and why it is, and then you might have a good idea how to tackle it. It actually may have little to do with the priest and more to do with your own situation. Also, I guess, a lot of this ‘caution’ is based on a fear of what may/might occur in the future = prudence? - it is an unknown truly. Women are advised in general, to remember that a priest has publicly and generally said ‘no’ to them = he’s found something better - he’s found God, who he considers to be much better than a relationship with a woman. Seriously, that should be a turn off for anyone! :sad_yes:

 

[HelenRose]

Sin is in the will. Feelings or inappropriate thoughts that pop into our heads aren’t sinful in themselves, because they aren’t chosen, at least not directly. Choosing to entertain or nurture such thoughts or feelings, or unnecessarily to expose ourselves to temptations to grave sin–that’s where it becomes sinful. Do you have a close friend to whom you could confide this in person? It might diffuse some of the tension and make it less intense, and also make the interruptions of your thoughts less frequent, as well as provide a little accountability.

I would not advice that at all. Close friends, with the best intentions in the world, are subject to either enabling or talking to another “close friend” She should talk to a priest that could help her.

 

[Joy2day]

You could confess somewhere else. There have been things I wouldn’t confess to any priest in my parish. I took those to confession either in a neighboring parish where I am much less known or at the cathedral.

God bless!

The more i have considered this situation, the more i think it is a big problem and that i do not agree that the OP should keep her distance from the parish priest. This ‘fear’ of feelings is totally unhelpful in this situation. The OP doesnt seem to have a husband she can talk to, & as for ‘friends’ - well, there are simply some issues of morality that one is not always comfortable discussing with friends - nor should you. When you see a doctor you are assured of confidentiality & so too the priest. This is what people need. There are s/ will be some things that are naturally difficult for a woman to discuss with a man - & you need to be comfortable with the priest in order to do so! Some women see male doctors - the same relationship should be there with the priest. Also, in matters of morality iften a modern person will need a priest who is able to give the reasons for the church’s teaching on matters the person is not comfortable discussing with anyone else. The discussion has to go further than just - here’s the catechism: read it. The doctor will give reasons for their recommendations; they wont just jive you a medical textbook & say you are naughty if you didnt blindly obey. There will often be many people who simply cannot discuss certain things with their parents/friends etc., &/or may not have people who agree with the church’s teaching. So the priest may be the only person. So - you simply have to be able to discuss some things respectfully - for as long as it takes: there is more at stake! Some people may continue with some sins because they simply have no one to talk to about it. Often priests can be young & inexperienced themselves, & it is difficult for women - but for the sake of the soul’s health - the relationship simply has to be there - for as long as necessary. I think everyone needs a confessor - no one sails along with no sticky issues occurring in todays world.