Thinking of leaving the Church

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There’s already been so much good advice, comments and prayers in this thread, but I’ll toss in mine too.

DON’T BE A PHARISEE!

(continued in next post) I hit by accident…
 
AmbroseSJ said:
There’s already been so much good advice, comments and prayers in this thread, but I’ll toss in mine too.

DON’T BE A PHARISEE!

(continued in next post) I hit by accident…
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If you hit by accident, you have 20 minutes to edit the original message before it is locked. Look for the Edit button after you have submitted your post.
 
DON’T BE A PHARISEE!

That’s what I tell myself. I find myself in that position very often at my Parish.

The Pharisees were always seeing the negative or “unlawful” side to everything Jesus and his disciples did. They were always criticizing and demanding explanations.

But I try to remember what’s important:
  • I live in a country where I am free to worship God.
  • Our parish has a true Priest, who can and does offer the Mass and distributes the Sacraments
  • 99% of the people in the parish are wonderful caring, loving people.
I continue to exert a constant although low key pressure in favor of orthodoxy and correct observance of the Church laws. I’m not leaving, and although it sometimes knots up my stomach, I remind myself that it is my own pride that is hurting the most. 😉
 
Marco,

Ghandi said, “You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

It’s very true!

I can’t imagine how discouraged you must feel. However, look at it as an opportunity to change minds and convert hearts. If you hear uncharitable remarks, politely ask the conversants to be more charitable. If you see someone going against or speaking against Church teaching, call them on it (but again, politely and charitably). Definitely document instances of lying and such and report it to your supervisor or other appropriate personnel – that’s not acceptable in any workplace.

Put another way – as St. Francis said, “Preach the gospel, and when necessary use words.”

I know it must be difficult, but perhaps God put you where you are for a reason. Perhaps His mission for you is to help change the mind and hearts of the people around you. It’s worth prayerfully considering, anyway!

Spend some time at adoration praying for your co-workers, and if you hear something that really cheeses you off (and you can’t do anything about it), say a prayer for them when you feel yourself getting angry. It is not easy, but it will help you grow in holiness whatever else happens.

You can also try and seek new employment, if your experience is so disheartening for you.

Good luck!
 
I’m sorry to hear this. I have a friend in a similar situation. We went to college together and both considered becoming nuns. Well, we ended up staying the world, and she decided to work for the diocese. She was so excited. Now two years later, she is tired, discouraged, she has been used, she is disillusioned. It’s heartbreaking. Luckily, she seems to have come out ok, and has reassessed her vocation and found a totally different career path where she feels like she is still serving Christ but not in the midst of all that backstabbing. She left her job with the Church, but she didn’t leave the Church. You can do the same. Take some time away from all those people, even change parishes if necessary. Do some reading from the saints. That will help you see what a Christian should be and what you can aspire to.

It’s a tough position. I don’t think anyone can blame you for questioning your faith over this. Just because no denomination is perfect, well, that is a poor excuse for this type of thing to be going on in Church offices. I hope it all works out for you. I think the best advice is what another poster said already - find a good Catholic to look up to, and let them remind you of the true fruits of the church.
 
My first day on the job teaching at a Catholic school included the campus minister saying, “This school is Catholic in name only.” From there I was totally repulsed on a daily basis that people were using MY faith to run this school in such an ugly, abusive fashion.

But notice I called it MY faith. I left that school as soon as possible and I did not lose MY faith, which is the Catholic faith. You will see ugly things happening in EVERY religion, denomination, etc. You will never forget what you heard and saw during your time at that job, but you must move forward and see yourself as one of many who keep real Catholicism alive. Please, do not leave the Church. Get back into your reading and make the Church YOURS again!
 
Ame said:
My first day on the job teaching at a Catholic school included the campus minister saying, “This school is Catholic in name only.” From there I was totally repulsed on a daily basis that people were using MY faith to run this school in such an ugly, abusive fashion.

But notice I called it MY faith. I left that school as soon as possible and I did not lose MY faith, which is the Catholic faith. You will see ugly things happening in EVERY religion, denomination, etc. You will never forget what you heard and saw during your time at that job, but you must move forward and see yourself as one of many who keep real Catholicism alive. Please, do not leave the Church. Get back into your reading and make the Church YOURS again!
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Okay, this is an OLD thread but I was worried about Marco so I did a search on his name and found this.
Marco’s son was thinking about leaving home so it was interesting to see that Marco was
thinking about leaving the Church.
I think the BEST thing about the Catholic Church is that it’s possible to change what
we don’t like if it’s just plain WRONG and we’re willing to work on it.
I’m not talking about the sacraments, I’m talking about abuse of the sacraments (charging
2500 for the sacrament of Matrimony for example…)
I knew a woman who was told by her priest that he wouldn’t baptize her daughter
because she wasn’t a practicing Catholic, she went to the Bishop and the priest ended up with egg on his face and the baby was baptized.

I remember telling a lady who worked for the Church that she didn’t qualify for Unemployment Benefits, the lady was chagrined and she said the Bishops had JUST
sent out a letter re: Social Responsibility and that she was going to do something
about this! I was inwardly skeptical but outwardly polite.
Within a year Catholics who worked at the Church qualified for Unemployment Benefits.

The Church is the people, not just the priests or the bishops or the Cardinals.
That’s what I like about it.
 
I know how you feel, but I encourage you not to give up and find a church that better fits you. Hopefully there are many options where you live, but it depends on how populated of a place you live at. I grew up in the very conservative mid-west and had horrible experiences with most Catholic and Christian churches. I would later find that there were wonderful, open churches that didn’t discriminate against anyone.

The people that do those immature behaviors just lack consciousness and awareness. Just have compassion for them and pray for them.
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
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Our fallen nature really does get the best of us. No one is exempt. I would say don’t take your frustrations out on Our Lord. HE established our Church and it is a wonderful Church, but unfortunately, it too, like everything else, is plagued by fallible mortals. Look at it this way - Even Jesus had one bad apple (one out of 12).

As they say, keep on fightin’ the good fight! 👍
 
Go to another parish. 🙂

Someone once said to me ‘there’s a lot of good people out there, you just have to find them’
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
Click to expand...
JL: Some of those who work in positions of authority, are there because they want the power and prestige. Faith takes last place if there is any at all.
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
Click to expand...
JL: Some of those who work in positions of authority, are there because they want the power and prestige. Faith takes last place if there is any at all. As a former non-denominational bible church member, I have heard the same charges
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
Click to expand...
Always remember your faith rests ultimately in the Person of Christ - not in THOSE who profess faith in Him. Having Christ as your foundation - go and do (ie - BE) what it is you find lacking in the Church. “You will know them by their fruits”.
 
Oh, my, I am so sorry! Please don’t leave the Church. I know I am jumping in late here, but we need faithful Catholics like you! I’m praying for you.
 
I’d encourage anyone who is in such a situation to read up on the experience of St John Vianney.

When he arrived in his parish of Ars he found little faith. However, with a whole lot of prayer and penance on his part - on behalf of his parishioners - miracles began to happen, and people returned to wholehearted practice of their faith in droves.

If the place is really as bad as you say, take it to the Lord in frequent prayer, and offer frequent sacrifices on behalf of those who need conversion to Christ.
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
Click to expand...
Welcome to humanity. The Church is made up of fallen and sinful human beings. We all fit this mode. Pray for those you have problems with. Pray for the Church. Find someone you can discuss this with where you work and ask what is the cause. Understanding may help and it can also aid in overcoming and eliminating it.
 
Marco56 said:
Hello Everyone

I have been thinking about leaving the Church. I worked for my local Diocese for the last two years and have ran across some of the most un-christian type behavior I could ever describe. I know that the Church is made up of fallible individuals but I can’t describe how discouraging it is to be in contact on a daily basis with people who represent the Church yet act in terrible ways. I was lied to, deceived by and gossiped about by people who supposedly are carrying out Christ’s mission here on earth. As a matter of fact on my first day at work at the Diocese a long term employee told me that " you’ll lose your faith working here". She unfortunately was right.

I , like most of the people on this Forum, had a deep appreciation for the Catholic Church. I was the type of person who read and studied Church History, read every Papal Encyclical and had a genuine appreciation for our faith. I took the job working for our Diocese not for the money ,which was modest, but to serve a higher calling. Now all I feel is betrayed and confused. I have left the job and have found a position with a wonderful company and many of my former fellow workers have also left. The one overriding factor for all of us was the hypocrisy of the leadership and the terrible way they treated their employees.

I know that it does me harm to harbor bitterness but trust me, I’ve seen things from inside the Church that would discourage the strongest Catholic. From the Bishops on down we have serious problems in the way we treat people and the “coldness” of our hearts.

How does one get past this type of terrible experience and learn to see the beauty of the Church again?

Thank you and God Bless
Click to expand...
Marco, Im really sorry that happened to you.

how do you feel about the Eucharist?

I’m asking cause that’s the center of our faith, and don’t let other people’s behavior draw you away from the Lord.

Consider the Saints…they saw problems in the Church, but they stayed in it… and tried to reform it. They tried to be the best Christians they could be. If you want to see what real Catholicism is actually like, look at the Saints, cause they practiced it properly, not at the people who are bad at practicing it.

Also, no matter where you go, you’ll find people like this… whether you’ll be Catholic, or Protestant, or Orthodox, or another religion, or atheist. We live in a fallen world, that is why the Church exists 🙂

God bless.
 
I was also thinking, if there are problems in the Church; all the more reason for us to stay in it and try to be good Catholics ourselves and reform it.

👍

if we leave because we are discouraged, there wouldn’t be anyone left to fight for the Church!

keep in mind the enemy is trying to destroy it all the time.
 
I hope when you say you are leaving the Church, that you mean that you are only considering changing parishes.

My wife had an intolerable situation at one parish and although she forgave them and prayed for them, there was no peace of mind there, so she eventually changed to a nearby parish where we have been very happy for years.

I would only recommend this as a last resort however, and the priest needs to be aware of the situation so that it can be corrected if possible.

But yes, people are fallible. Even the 12 disciples picked by Jesus had a Judas, and Peter denied Christ 3 times. So we need to pray and forgive to the best of our abilities.

JMP
 
Is the original poster still here? I hope so. Such experience is so disheartening. Not
only in his job at the diocese, but our experiences with our fellow Catholics. I am
having such an experience myself where someone who is a faithful Catholics is reporting
things that are distorted (by only mentioning half the actual happening) and causing a
lot of work for me to clear things up. So, here is someone who was close and whom I
admire and this is happening. Just doesn’t make sense.
So I pray for her and hope that she is able to see what is real.
I’ve had experiences in the past that showed the uglier side of some Catholics, but I
determined then as I do now, that they will not take my faith away from me. My job
is to worship the Lord the best way that I can.
I remember a homily given by a priest during the height of the scandal. He had been
an altar boy to a priest who was anything but holy. In the homily the priest admitted
that that priest’s actions were so wrong that he could do two things. Leave the church
or stay and make a difference. He became a priest who was striving to lead a holy
humble life. He is/was making a difference.
 
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