Thinking of veiling

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This year I have been trying to grow in my faith, in that process I saw an article Bout veiling. Ironically, it was how the Catholic Church was oppressive,I immediately feLtd defensive and needed to do my own research on veiling. To on me it is such a beautiful reason, and find that I keep going back to the thought of veiling, so you lost Satan.
However,in my church no one but some of the elderly women veil. I am also in the choir, and feel like I am telling everyone “I am holier than thou”. Also read that married women can only use black veils and most of my clothes either have a pattern with black or are black. Can I, an unmarried women wear any color veil? I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.
 
Personally, I would LOVE to veil. But I don’t have the courage to do it.

I do agree, that in a lot of churches, it would be a way of attracting negative attention. I think it is something that should be prayfully discerned.

As for the rules black vs white, perhaps a priest could better explain
 
The African refugees and Europeans in my town veil to Mass.

The Africans wear plain black/white for normal Mass and colourful bright veils for Feasts and Christmas Midnight Mass.

The Europeans stick to white and black veils.

The rest of us don’t care, I have yet to hear a criticism of this from other parishioners. Variety is the spice of life. 😃
 
I’ve never seen anyone at my church with a veil - the closest thing I’ve seen is a woman, during her confirmation, wearing a traditional African head-dress (as she was from there and now lives here in the UK), but other than that I’ve never seen it.

I’d not even know where to get an appropriate veil from…
 
I purchased one for my Holy Land pilgrimage to wear inside the Church of the Nativity and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.
 
I feel God may be calling me to do this too. I’m definitely putting it to prayer.

I have a question though: I have heard a lot of people state their worry that it makes them appear holier than thou. I personally haven’t had that impression when I see women who veil themselves at Mass. Would some of you mind explaining what makes you feel this way, to us potential newbies?
 
For color it doesn’t really matter as there isn’t a theological linkage between the color and ones state in life. The black/white divide was cultural more than anything and now woman often have more choices. My wife has 4 or 5 veils that range from cream to black, including both dark blue and a coppery brown. Even the one black veil has silver threads in it. For the most part women in my area wear colors that go with their outfits. The only “patern” I’ve seen is that young women tend to wear lighter shades, but it’s not hard and fast. At midnight Mass for Christmas there were two teenage young ladies that were wearing dark burgundy and deep grey.

As for people judging you for being holier than thou? Don’t worry about it. If you are piously doing it out of love for God then that is their problem not yours. You might also find that there are other women who want to revive this pious practice but need a catalyst to say it ok. In our local OF parish 3 or 4 years ago you might see a woman veiled maybe once or twice a year. Several ladies in the mom’s club then decided to veil for November. Since then you will normally see 3 or 4 women veiling at each Mass.

My point is that while some may judge you as holier than thou, you might also be the catalyst for others who want to veil, but feel uncomfortable. While I don’t think veiling should be an evangelization tool, it can certainly be an opportunity to explain why if someone were to ask.
 
So, why exactly do you want to wear a veil?
If it’s for a holy purpose, then do it.
But you likely will get a lot of stares.
Myself, I don’t want to call attention to myself.
Plus we had to wear veils in our Catholic school growing up, and it soured me on the notion. There was nothing “holy” about it. It was just a rule for the girls. 🤷

But it’s your spiritual life.
If it means something to you, then do it.
There were times in church history where it was a cultural thing.
The Church no longer requires veiling.
So it’s up to you entirely.
 
My wife is 26, and she sometimes veils and sometimes doesn’t.

I personally think it’s a beautiful tradition, and I wish more women would exhibit modesty, whether that involves veiling or not.

Having said that, if it doesn’t come from the heart out of a sincere love for God and as a special “flower” to give to Him, it matters very little. 👍
 
GF_Girl said:
I am also in the choir, and feel like I am telling everyone “I am holier than thou”.
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I think this is very honorable: you seemingly don’t want to be an occasion of sin for others, since someone judging you rashly is indeed rather sinful.

On the other hand, we should be careful not to conform our actions to human respect.

If you go to an ordinary form parish, I would wear a veil of whatever color you should like, and of whatever style appeals to you, so long as you are doing it because you love Jesus. Don’t do it to be a rebel, and don’t do it because a small-t tradition says you should. Also, don’t avoid doing it because someone might jump to conclusions.

But do it because you want to show Jesus your love in a visible manner, and because you want to thank Him for His IMMENSE condescension in coming to us in Holy Communion.

The Creator of the universe has condescended to such a degree that He appears hidden behind a veil of bread and wine—and how fitting to show Him thanks by veiling the immense beauty of what it means to be a woman, and instead becoming a little smaller … for HIS sake.

Not for yours or anyone else’s … but for Him. HE is totally worth it.
 
GF_Girl said:
This year I have been trying to grow in my faith, in that process I saw an article Bout veiling. Ironically, it was how the Catholic Church was oppressive,I immediately feLtd defensive and needed to do my own research on veiling. To on me it is such a beautiful reason, and find that I keep going back to the thought of veiling, so you lost Satan.
However,in my church no one but some of the elderly women veil. I am also in the choir, and feel like I am telling everyone “I am holier than thou”. Also read that married women can only use black veils and most of my clothes either have a pattern with black or are black. Can I, an unmarried women wear any color veil? I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.
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If you want to do it than do it. It’s a very beautiful thing and just as others shouldn’t judge you on not veiling nor should they the other way. I know of several young ladies who veil at church and I have heard nothing but a couple comments regarding it being inspirational to someone.
 
GF_Girl said:
This year I have been trying to grow in my faith, in that process I saw an article Bout veiling. Ironically, it was how the Catholic Church was oppressive,I immediately feLtd defensive and needed to do my own research on veiling. To on me it is such a beautiful reason, and find that I keep going back to the thought of veiling, so you lost Satan.
However,in my church no one but some of the elderly women veil. I am also in the choir, and feel like I am telling everyone “I am holier than thou”. Also read that married women can only use black veils and most of my clothes either have a pattern with black or are black. Can I, an unmarried women wear any color veil? I would like to hear others opinions on this subject.
Click to expand...
I veiled for a while. I felt strong conviction that it was what was right to do. I am not at all the type of person who wants to stand out in a crowd- I really feel very sick to my stomach doing anything that gets noticed or where people’s attention is going to be on me, so veiling was almost excruciating for me to do. I did it anyway- call it fear of God I suppose. I didn’t want to fear people more than God and at that point in my life I feared hell and leading others the wrong way so I had to do it. I still believe veiling is right. (I just don’t go to church anymore)

Hopefully this won’t discourage you- I’m not saying this to discourage but to prepare- but what I encountered was a mix of things… Some people were surprised and seemed to be pleased. Some people don’t really care (in fact, most people I found didn’t, thankfully). Some people think you are crazy because they know nothing about veiling at all and think you are some sort of wedding-wanna-be freak woman. I had a couple children come up to me and ask why I was wearing a veil- they seemed to imply they thought it looked weird. I had one young gentleman make fun of me who sat behind me with his fiance. He thought I was a joke for wearing it and continuously said things about it under his breath. (Very painful day for me, that day) Another older man made fun of me by asking me where the wedding was. Some other older men at another parish I was visiting just laughed as though I was utterly ridiculous for wearing it. While visiting another church, I overhead two women- one a nun- pointing at me, talking about me saying “isn’t that sad?” (as in, she’s stuck in the past that is cruel and oppressive). I highly suspect because I was wearing a veil in a church where no one else was. It was a very ‘modern’ parish there. There was no question they were talking about me.

So be prepared… you are going to get looks, stares, made fun of, yet some people might be the opposite and know why and WHO you are doing it for and appreciate your conviction. I hate to say it though all this was part of my catalyst in leaving the church- it got too much of a battle where I just felt like I was with a bunch of people who didn’t know their faith and didn’t know the reasons the customs ect… or especially God’s WORD which mentioned women should be covered. I go to church to follow God. I just wanted to be in a church where others felt the same convictions and followed the tenants of the church as much as I wanted to. I felt like I was in the wrong church, and at some point, with all the people who were making fun of me… I felt like I was in the church of the enemy. So in that way, it might have become that I was acting “holier than thou” without even wanting to with all those feelings I just expressed because it almost becomes a battle to stick to the conviction of wearing it… does that make sense? This is just me though. You might find that by doing it you might not get so much attention, negative or positive.

One really cool thing that I noticed after I started to wear it was that several other women started to veil at my home parish. I think there were about 5 or 6 other women. So rest assured you aren’t the only one who wants to… its just that the pressure to conform is too hard for some to start. Having others join you in something cuts down the amount of embarrassment and the difficulty of doing something that might seem ‘odd’ or stupid to others.

I have this question though… If its so ‘holier than thou’ to do it, how is any mass wrong going to be righted when no one dares “tamper” with the status quo which may be in error? Just a thought. You won’t find me waving the “wear a veil” flag though- I think things are so messed up in the church that I wouldn’t hold it against any woman for choosing not to wear it. I’m just confused as ever…another reason why I left the church.
 
I admire women who veil. This simple act of modesty reminds me of the dignity and necessity of the virtue of purity. Furthermore, it removes the temptation that some men face in church, namely, to look around curiously at others. Veils promote purity. If you rearrange the letters in “veils”, you could say that veils prevent “evils” and promote better “lives.”
 
Hmmm, very interesting thoughts, Anne Elizabeth. I wonder if you are able to attend an EF Mass, or EF parish anywhere near you? I have similar thoughts sometimes, and they are definitely worse after I observe “weird things” at Mass. Is there any way you can just get to a more reverent OF parish? I’m afraid you are making someone happy when you don’t attend church at all - - pretty sure you don’t want to please him!
 
I think veiling would be something that is between God and you. If other people have a problem with it, it may be an opportunity for you to educate them about their faith. Since I am a man, my opinion probably doesn’t count or matter to you. I think it would be a cool thing, and your decision should be greeted with the same respect and dignity you are showing God.
 
27lw said:
Hmmm, very interesting thoughts, Anne Elizabeth. I wonder if you are able to attend an EF Mass, or EF parish anywhere near you? I have similar thoughts sometimes, and they are definitely worse after I observe “weird things” at Mass. Is there any way you can just get to a more reverent OF parish? I’m afraid you are making someone happy when you don’t attend church at all - - pretty sure you don’t want to please him!
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Agree. Staying away from Mass is not good, veil or not.
 
27lw said:
Hmmm, very interesting thoughts, Anne Elizabeth. I wonder if you are able to attend an EF Mass, or EF parish anywhere near you? I have similar thoughts sometimes, and they are definitely worse after I observe “weird things” at Mass. Is there any way you can just get to a more reverent OF parish? I’m afraid you are making someone happy when you don’t attend church at all - - pretty sure you don’t want to please him!
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Thank you for the suggestions and your concern. I have tried them already. I don’t want to say any more so that the thread is not hijacked.
 
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