Thinking out-loud

[Rafael1226]

I realize that true, pure faith is trusting that however one’s prayers are answered they are for the best and that we should be thankful. If I am to be honest about it, throughout my life most of my prayers turned out for the better, even if not exactly how I had asked for, and one would think my faith/trust in God would be stronger, but I find that time and time again, my faith is strong enough to get me off the boat, but not enough to keep me from sinking as soon as I take the first step. I often think of Pope Francis saying that he believes but asking God to help with his unbelief.

I find that my relationship with God is more guilt/fear driven than love driven. I fear the consequences of not doing his will or feel guilty when I fall short in light of all that he has given me, but unfortunately I don’t think that can be called love. But can we lowly creatures ever truly and purely love a God on whom we are entirely dependent and without whom we would damned into the abyss? I am not sure if I am making any sense and hope not to be committing any sins by saying this, but doesn’t love imply that we will the best for the other even at our own detriment? Would that need to mean that we would be wiling to do what is best for God even if it meant we were to loose everything without hope of getting it back? Can our willing to suffer in life or deny ourselves in life really be called selfless love if we believe that such misery regardless of how horrible or long in this life will mean eternal bliss? I have been a Catholic all my life, and practicing most of my life, but I feel that just now I am beginning to really delve into the faith and try to understand what it is that I truly believe in.

One last point, I just realized not too long ago, that the passage says that to enter the kingdom of God we must strive to go through the narrow gate, not actually go through the narrow gate. Which leads me to believe, that we are to continuously, despite our short-comings and imperfections, try our best to go through the narrow gate, we might be accepted into Heaven. This brings me comfort.

I realize these were no so much questions as much as me thinking out-loud, but I found it helpful to flesh out these thoughts with words. If anyone wants to comment, I would welcome it.

Thanks!

 

[Vico]

…
But can we lowly creatures ever truly and purely love a God on whom we are entirely dependent and without whom we would damned into the abyss?
…

We are dependent upon the gifts of God who desires all of mankind to be sharers in the divine nature. Note that with perfect contrition the contrition arises by a love by which God is loved above all else, but is does not mean there is not also the consideration of sin’s ugliness or the fear of eternal damnation or the other threatening penalties.

Catechism of the Catholic Church

1691 “Christian, recognize your dignity and, now that you share in God’s own nature, do not return to your former base condition by sinning. Remember who is your head and of whose body you are a member. Never forget that you have been rescued from the power of darkness and brought into the light of the Kingdom of God.” [St. Leo the Great, Sermo 22 in nat. Dom., 3L 54,192C.]

 

[Lazybones]

You have got to start trusting Christ. Seriously! Commit your salvation to Him and let Him do His thing. Listen, and obey when He instructs.
You are inside your head a bit too much. Go to him on the cross and let it all out. Give it to him and entrust your perfection to Him…that’s His responsibility. He will take care of you.