Third Order Secular Laity Question

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Hi folks,

I’ve been doing some research on Third Orders for lay seculars. I am a fairly young guy. Is there a wide spectrum of age groups for these orders, or are they mostly older middle age on up folks? I am interested in joining an order, but am worried about being out of place by being significantly younger than all the other brothers and sisters. Thanks very much in advance. Also, should this question play any role in my search? Finally, what are some orders you folks can recommend? I have been looking around at the Confraternity of Penitents, the Brother and Sisters of Penance, and the Brothers and Sisters of Reconciliation. I would like to live a Rule of Life and be connected with the brothers and sisters, but am worried about the potential awkward age difference. Thanks again.

God Bless

Jon Winterburn
 
Been a SFO (Secular Franciscan) for about 15 years. Our Fraternity had mostly older folks. But a great renewal has brought some younger people to us and I am glad to see them taking over some of the leadership positions. We meet at Fresno State University Newman Center.I am hoping that the younger people will bring in some of the students. Good luck on your quest to serve God more fully. You can go on line and find good info on the SFO and all their Fraternity locations.
 
I looked into the SFO, but in my area I was the youngest person – by over 30 years. I felt called to something Franciscan, but that group was nothing more than a book club – primarily because they just couldn’t get around well anymore.

As for the BSP and the CFP, I’m a postulant in both right now. They have similar rules, and both have nice people. If I have to choose someday, it’s going to be difficult.

Best of luck!
 
our Benedictine Oblate chapter has a deanery for youngsters from 8-18, we have at least 8 members under 18, who usually come with their parents or grandparents. Some remain active as adults, some do not. Our adult members range in age from 18 to 84 that I know of, about half are senior citizens.
 
I am probably one of the youngest people in my Lay Dominican chapter, and significantly younger than most of my brothers and sisters. But we all have so much in common that age differences really don’t matter. It is the right place for me… I feel at peace there. I knew from the first time I attending a meeting with the chapter.

The most important thing is to find that place where you feel at peace and can fulfill God’s plan for your life. May God bless you and make His will known to you.
 
I’m afraid that most seculars are older folks (in their 60s or older). However, I’ve started to notice that what may have happened was that those who would be in their 50s now make up the age gap. In other words, those who had to suffer the liturgical craziness of the 70s.

I myself am a novice in the Secular Discalced Carmelites and in our community, as well as in other surrounding communities whose members I’ve met, most of the aspirants seem to be in the same age groups: 40s and 60s. I wonder if other seculars observed a similar demographics too.

So, by all means, you’re bringing new blood to your community, probably after a hiatus of vocations. I’d venture to guess that you’ll soon see more members of your age group coming in.

May St. Dominic pray for us.

:blessyou:
 
JonW said:
Hi folks,

I’ve been doing some research on Third Orders for lay seculars. I am a fairly young guy. Is there a wide spectrum of age groups for these orders, or are they mostly older middle age on up folks? I am interested in joining an order, but am worried about being out of place by being significantly younger than all the other brothers and sisters. Thanks very much in advance. Also, should this question play any role in my search? Finally, what are some orders you folks can recommend? I have been looking around at the Confraternity of Penitents, the Brother and Sisters of Penance, and the Brothers and Sisters of Reconciliation. I would like to live a Rule of Life and be connected with the brothers and sisters, but am worried about the potential awkward age difference. Thanks again.

God Bless

Jon Winterburn
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Jon, many years ago when I attended my first meeting of the Secular Discalced Carmelites I was one of the youngest in the Community with many members much older than I. This did not dissuade me, though, because I found we had a common vocation that is age-less. When and if you find the right Order for you, you will find that your (and their) age matters little. God bless you in your search for His will!
 
I am working through my formation as third order of the Two Hearts (Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary) in St. Louis. This group also has a wide range of age as there are single third order and young third order. If they do not have a local chapter in your area, you may contact Diane Guesman through e-mail so she can direct you to the nearest location. Her e-mail is: dianeguesman@aol.com. Pray and God will lead you to the right place.
 
Yes, I have to agree with most of the posts here and say that most confraternities and third orders tend to abit older than your young age.

However - you might just find this is a plus!

First off, you will not be spending a great amount of time with these folks, maybe once or twice a month or thereabouts. And to be truthful, the older folks have alot of wisdom and life experience to share with sombody younger like yourself. You could really learn alot and maybe even avoid some of the pitfalls of youth. Even at 51, I still have alot to gain by being around our seniors. Your enrollment and attendance could also be important in encouraging other young people that feel just like you to seek an order or confraternity. God could be calling you to do just that! It could be your mission to draw in the young!

I am the Grand Knight of my Knights of Columbus council right now, and my best knights are the senior citizens! They always attend the meetings and they participate in nearly every function. Trying to get my baby-boomer equals to do that is like pulling teeth!

So embrace the wisdom of the seniors!🙂
 
I see you are in Chicago, there should be some Third Order Carmelites in the area as our Provincial offices are in Darien.

You could look into them and see the ages, I am not sure but the little I have seen is that there is a mix of ages but most tend to the older side.

IMHO I think it is important that you have a local community that you can meet with on a regular basis.

Also I don’t think you should be a postulant in two groups at the same time, I think that is frowned upon and if they were aware of it they would tell you so.

Do you have a spiritual director to work with?
 
My oblate group averages probably 50(ish).

The BSP is a great group. The head person is a very nice man.
Very intense devotions, though (fasting, clothing limitations, etc).
 
I’m the youngest SFO in my fraternity by nearly 20 years. The mid-range folks are a small group, and then the majority are 70+

It’s not a problem at all. It’s like having dozens of grandparents 🙂 My closest relationships are with the mid-range group.
 
JonW said:
Hi folks,

I’ve been doing some research on Third Orders for lay seculars. I am a fairly young guy. Is there a wide spectrum of age groups for these orders, or are they mostly older middle age on up folks? I am interested in joining an order, but am worried about being out of place by being significantly younger than all the other brothers and sisters. Thanks very much in advance. Also, should this question play any role in my search?
Click to expand...
The demographics of each fraternity are unique. My fraternity is made up mostly of women, about 20 ages 40-70. There are 5 men, ages 30-50. Most of us are married. Give your local fraternities a call and ask them about their demographics. It may be God’s will for your life to bring the SFO to the attention of others your age. I feel that the SFO (and other lay associations) has not adequately made its existence known to the younger generations and even to the Church as a whole.
Finally, what are some orders you folks can recommend? I have been looking around at the Confraternity of Penitents, the Brother and Sisters of Penance, and the Brothers and Sisters of Reconciliation. I would like to live a Rule of Life and be connected with the brothers and sisters, but am worried about the potential awkward age difference. Thanks again.
Click to expand...
God Bless
Click to expand...
Jon Winterburn
Click to expand...
The biggest difference between the SFO and the CFP and BSP is the rule of life. The SFO follow the 1978 version of the rule of life, which is a very relaxed and passive adaptation of the previous rules, which makes it easier to live out in today’s circumstances. Our rule of life has had at least 4 versions. The CFP and BSP focus on one of the earlier versions, which is quite rigorous and detailed, addressing nearly every aspect of life: a prayer schedule, restricted clothing, regular fasting/abstinence, alms giving, etc. I you haven’t already seen the two rules, give them a look over:

SFO: nafra-sfo.org/sforule.html

CFP (BSP uses same): penitents.org/statutesref.html

One other big difference between the SFO and the CFP/BSP is that the SFO is a part of the Franciscan family as a true third order. The CFP and BSP are not formally associated with the Franciscan family.

I hope this helps.

Peace and all Good,
 
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