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EasterJoy
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That sounds like a very good plan.
This Couple Won't Leave $4 Billion Fortune for Their Children
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
Agree completely!
:clapping::yup:I like the old bumper sticker, “I’m spending my kids’ inheritance!” Placed upon a giant RV or whatever.
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lifeisbeautiful
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Dermatologists are cool too, though
. We have skin cancer in our family and are grateful for the dermatologists that have helped us catch dangerous moles in time!
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90Domer
Guest
I found this post funny in a sad way because when my in-laws retired, my FIL kept reminding his three sons that he and my MIL were going to spend the inheritance, It got to be so obnoxious that I called him out to please stop because it was insulting. The two times we asked them for financial help–both for large medical expenses for my husband and my son–they turned us down. When they retired with an excess of $1 million in the mid-90’s, I lost a good measure of respect for them.
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TheRealJuliane
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Well, that is an extreme example and seems quite wrong…I would help my kids if they needed medical help. Why would you not respect your in-laws for retiring with a large bank account if they had amassed it honestly over their lifetimes? Should they have given it all away and lived as paupers? If people want to be reasonably self-sufficient these days, it takes a lot of money. I don’t expect anything back from Social Security since my money has gone toward paying current seniors and there are fewer people contributing now, plus the Congress has simply spent us into oblivion so there is no surplus. So if anything is going to happen, it’s going to be up to us to pay for it ourselves, including medical care and long-term care if necessary.
What did his other sons think of their parents’ attitude?
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gmarie21
Guest
So true! My dad and step-mom are very well off (I don’t know how well off, but I know that my dad has two pensions and that one is over 75K per year which is more than double what my husband and I took home last year). My step-mom makes 6 figures per year with one of her jobs and I don’t know about her other job (military - back to reserves). My youngest sister has admitted that she is a snob about dining because that is how she was raised. Beside one step-brother, I am the second poorest in the family and have four children. However, I have a richness that my dad lacks, I see the beauty in spending time with my children and living a simple life.
I do, however, appreciate all that he has given without my asking. My Catholic education growing up, my college education (though I did pay for my books, car, and auto insurance out of my own money that I earned while working through college), and any other gifts he has given (paying for baptism and communion parties for my kids - though I never asked, buying our refrigerator, washer and dryer - again didn’t ask, and recently a trip to visit him over Christmas - there is no way we would have been able to afford a trip to a local hotel, let alone a partial cross-country trip that required a van rental).
I am happy for him that he is retired I just wish that he would relocate to where his grandchildren and family live, that he would finally see the value in the simple things of life and the things you can’t get back, like time spent with loved ones doing ordinary things. He may be financially rich, but it is I who is the one who is richer than he ever will be because I know my children, friends, and family, their struggles and successes, their world-views, their joys. I wish my dad would also know this too, I use to be mad at him over this, now I feel sorry for him that he can’t see what true wealth looks like and how to accumulate it.
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Skye_Ariel
Guest
Wow that is very selfish of them especially if you needed it for medical expenses which is something important. I think it’s wrong to with hold money from someone asking you for help if you have it freely to give, especially if it’s for something important. If they were struggling financially themselves that would be one thing, but to have oodles of money and not give some to someone who needs it especially their own son and grandson, that’s horrible and selfish. :nope: How can they live with themselves?
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Skye_Ariel
Guest
I don’t think she lost respected for them because they had money, I think the loss of respect was because of their unwillingness to help their own son and grandson with medical expenses when they could afford it easily. I think that’s so wrong. :nope:
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TheRealJuliane
Guest
You know the old maxxim…
“How much money is enough?”
“Just a little bit more…”
“How much money is enough?”
“Just a little bit more…”
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manualman
Guest
Wasn’t it Buffet who said:
“Give the kids enough that they can do anything, just make sure it isn’t enough for them to do nothing.” Sounds fairly wise to me, especially since we’re talking people with $4 BILLION.
If we were talking about people with $4million, I’d think they’d be perfectly entitled to go out and spend it having a delightful time. They earned it, it’s theirs, not the kids.
“Give the kids enough that they can do anything, just make sure it isn’t enough for them to do nothing.” Sounds fairly wise to me, especially since we’re talking people with $4 BILLION.
If we were talking about people with $4million, I’d think they’d be perfectly entitled to go out and spend it having a delightful time. They earned it, it’s theirs, not the kids.
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LilyM
Guest
What they don’t seem to appreciate is the equally real - and equally extreme - spiritual and psychosocial dangers of worrying about money when you don’t have any! Financial stresses ruin lives and families and marriages just as surely as overindulgence and laziness and arguments about inheritances.
It’s all very well to spout platitudes such as ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ but that totally ignores the fact that a heck of a lot of people ARE ‘killed’, spiritually and psychologically if not physically. Probably more than any who are made stronger.
We have philanthropic charities and government aid for those who are in need precisely because
a) many people who end up needing help get to that point through no fault of their own and
b) those who have money have a duty as Christians and human beings to help those who do not, and in particular a duty to ensure that any children they choose to have do not become a burden on others when they have the means to avoid it.
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manualman
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But Lily, you are getting FAR beyond the actual article. It doesn’t say they charge their 6 year olds room and board. It merely says they aren’t handing them millions for free. There’s a pretty big gap in between. I suspect these kids are very well educated and have received top flight medical care through college. I read it as they are setting them up to achieve their OWN success instead of handing success to them on a platter.
I see it as akin to the old chicken and egg story. Once a child saw a baby chick struggling to emerge from an egg. It was a long and difficult struggle and the child felt sorry for the chick, so he used a tool to crack open the egg forthe chick so that it didn’t have to go through such a terrible struggle. As it turned out, without that struggle to break out of the egg, the chick never fully activated its circulatory system and died shortly thereafter. The moral: kindness disassociated from reality can hurt more than it helps. I think these parents are just trying to live that lesson.
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EasterJoy
Guest
Yes. Getting out of college debt-free is a huge advantage, and will normally lead to financial security. The article also does not say the parent are setting up no safety net in the event that one of their children becomes disabled or something like that. They are saying that the children are not going to inherit a big wad of unearned cash, as they might have expected when their parents are so wealthy.
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Allegra
Guest
I agree with the parents. Struggle and endurance builds character. There’s probably no worse feeling than realizing that you raised a bunch of useless, entitled, unprepared kids who can’t relate to or function in the real world. If it were me, I would be generous in experiences. Take the kids to neat places when they are young and spend time as a family. Pay for tuition, but not for room and board. (I think 20 hours of work a week should be an admission requirement for college students.) I would be prepared to make a generous gift when they get married. (Perhaps make a down payment on an reasonable home with a mortgage payment the kids can actually afford.) I would make provisions for grandchildren to attend college. Other than that, I would let my children see me being generous with my wealth. (Providing scholarship opportunities to kids who otherwise would not have a chance and providing food and medical care to those who need it around the world.) I would try to involve the children in planning these contributions and perhaps even make them in my children’s name. I think this would be a much better plan than just giving the kids a “skate through life” card. After all, enough is as good as a feast.
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Allegra
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Actually, it sounds to me like they are trying to help their children do just that, by teaching them to take care of themselves. Do you know how fast a few over-indulged and out-of-control youths can go through a billion dollars? All it takes is a drinking binge and a free sports car and Junior’s inheritance belongs to the families of the deceased. There’s nothing in the artical that suggests that these kids don’t have everything an everyday middle class kid would get or want. They simply are trying to teach them to deal with the real world when it hits them.
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Aggie414
Guest
I think it’s sad if a parent would refuse to help their children in a true financial crisis, but that doesn’t change the point that no one is obligated to give anyone money – family or otherwise. I think that speaks more to the relationship you have with your in-laws than the amount of money they have. I think it is a parent’s moral responsibility to plan for their retirement; and with people living longer and longer these days, retiring with $1 million in the bank is the responsible thing to do.
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manualman
Guest
Nah, junior’s inheritance beongs to the LAWYERS.
Between plantiff and defense, they probably get more than the family…
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Allegra
Guest
True dat.Nah, junior’s inheritance beongs to the LAWYERS.
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Robertanthony
Guest
I suppose I could start a thread where everyone would come up with the most tired, most trite, the most
-worthy platitudes, the one you mention gets a special mention. Along with “Everything happens for a reason”, or “Money doesn’t buy happiness”. The latter is just a way, for most people, to try and silence their envy of people rich or well-off. Of course one has to know where --or from whom-- this “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” comes from, having seen a documentary about this man, and having known about him for a while, I would tend to think he’s one of the last person I’d take advice on life from.Your points are well taken, but I don’t see anything suggesting that this couple’s children will experience any kind of financial hardship. If they did/do, that would make their parents both stupid and heartless. It’s been seen before. It’s their money, they could elect to not spend a penny on their children past the age of 21 and donate most of their money to PETA, or buy a couple of cats and make them their sole heirs. I mean it’s their money, right?
inheritancefunding.com/Inheritance-Funding-Blog/bid/20410/Heirs-to-Today-s-Largest-Fortunes if anyone here is on this list, could you please PM me.*
*I’m on a mission to either validate or invalidate the saying “Money doesn’t buy happiness” . Please help funding this mission.
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90Domer
Guest
I left out the small detail that in denying us, they told us they were in no financial position to hep us.
But they didn’t hesitate to lead their friends to believe that they helped us in a significant way. (That’s when we lost the respect.)The middle brother feels like we do, as they asked for financial assistance when my BIL job did not come through when he thought and was unemployed for 6 months longer than expected.
The youngest helps his folks spend their money on whatever frilly thing he can think of. We also get the sense that the parents help this son much more significantly because he offers to serve as their escort of exotic trips (he likes to travel).
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