This is an admittedly (really, really) weird case. But is it a mortal sin?

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Well, I’m new here so first off, hi, everyone. 🙂

Along with dogs, I also really love wolves and/or werewolves, hence my username. However, this fascination with canines is NOT a fetish.

Okay, here’s the case. As I’ve said, this case is really, really weird and may leave you thinking “…what?”, so prepare yourself. 😑

I’ve been an artist since at least 2000 and have done a lot of sketchs for multiple series I’ve created. Most recently I’ve been working on a series about an Austrian boy who never knew his parents because he was raised in an orphanage, leading us to believe his parents died, somehow. He is then taken into another world (magically, of course) where he, along with other things, wants to find some parents to know what it’s like to be loved. This world is very strange, as some inhabitants are animals (Kind of like The Chronicles of Narnia in a way, except they’re anthropomorhic). He is taken into the housing of a he-wolf who is apparently a writer and does not take immediate interest in the boy, nor does the boy take immediate interest in the wolf and is fearful. After a few months the boy and the wolf become more familiar with each other, finding they have a lot of the same interests, such as music, art, architecture, etc. Over time they begin bonding and the wolf eventually adopts the boy as his son. This isn’t the only thing that happens in the series, which is much deeper and darker than it seems at the moment (althought not to say death isn’t dark enough), however it is my personal favorite part in the series because: 1.) there’s a wolf in it… 2.) the concept of being able to bond with something portrayed as a monster fascinates me the Beauty and the way Beast did… and 3.) because I want to hug a wolf. :C They’re so fuzzy.

Every night (and some random intervals or whenever) I snuggle or hug a pillow in my bed, imagining it as the wolf and I’m that Austrian boy, embracing my father- the beast I once feared. In this process, I get an erection, which I really don’t want and would rather not get. I’m not sure if the desire is sexual or just comes from the love of canines. I don’t think it’s bestiality, as I’m not really interested in having sex at all, especially not with animals, nor masturbating or porn- both of which I absolutely despise. Bestiality or not, I’m not sure.

Weird enough? 😛

I’ve been having conflicted feelings about this, and I’m not exactly sure whether it’s just me or my Catholic conscience kicking in. I’ve been wanting to ask this question for a while now, but the weirdness of it all was just hard to display in public.

Bottom line is: is it a mortal sin? Part of me says no, part of me says yes.

Sorry I wrote such a long post. I was just giving info hoping to make the case a little less odd. 🤷
 
I don’t see how it could be a mortal sin if you don’t want the thoughts
 
Maybe not a mortal sin, but you should not encourage these thoughts and actively discourage them maybe by distracting yourself.

You may wish to speak to a priest just in case.
 
I would cease this practice…

and also see a Priest in the secrecy of confession in regards to it.

(he can also help you judge to what degree it was sinful in the past…be ready with number of times as you are able)

The fact even that you know the erection is going to happen from doing this so even for that reason it is something you should avoid…for we are not talking about I think some justifying good action that such could happen involuntarily from on occasion as an unwanted side effect…this is as you note not an ordinary thing…

(One should of course not ever seek or consent to sexual pleasure outside of the legit in Marriage…)
 
As we all are, you are to avoid the near occasions of sin.

Did you ever think about prayer, and praying to God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit? Or you can meditate on parts of Sacred Scripture, or the Passion of Our Lord, and put aside what has been started.

The advice in the previous posts, especially about talking to a priest in confession, is right on! That will help you to put aside what can be seriously sinful.
 
These are all good points you guys have made. If the motivation was sexual it would be a mortal sin, but if the motivation was NOT sexual, but rather just the love of wolves, than it would be- pretty much- just a near occasion. There’s still the erection thing to get around, so I have 1 more question.

Concerning I still get an erection from this, would it be possible to train myself not to get an erection, therefore negating any pleasure that would be recieved in this process? I think it can be done, but I don’t know. If pleasure was removed from the process then I would think it wouldn’t really be sinful at all. If I can’t prevent erections, that’s fine: I’m not going to let something like this deter me from my faith or get between me and my goal.
 
Werewolf. I’d like to offer a slightly different take on this.

I find that the whole business of "writing about wolves…and want to hug them…,"etc. to basically be a form of fetishism and an unhealthy one at that. Let me elaborate:

I like dogs…big fluffy ones. that I can play fetch with.

But I don’t hug a pillow in bed and imagine it’s a dog, and get an erection. IMHO…There’s something …off…about that, if I did.

My point is this: Do I think you are in mortal sin? No. But is what you are doing healthy? I’d have to respectfully sa, “no.” “Wolves” are NOT supposed to cause you to become aroused. A fetish, to my understanding, involves when something non-sexual causes you to become aroused. When you need to contemplate whether it would be “possible to train myself not to get an erection, therefore negating any pleasure that would be recieved in this process,” that seems an admission that you would like to not have these reactions. Rather than “train yourself,” perhaps it would be better to see what is going on, and avoid it? The fact that you are writing about these things…and sketching them…and hugging a pillow and fantasizing…and becoming aroused…suggests a really REALLY unhealthy focus.

Instead, how about sketching a person and presenting them with it? A young lady you like, perhaps?

-VdT
 
That’s a good take. I’ll probably, in the end, just avoid this practice altogether. However at this point I’m not qualified to say it’s a fetish yet, because I actually have one already and learned that, when the fetish is brought around, an immediate, almost uncontrollable arousal and erection occurs (this fetish, by the way, is no longer being practiced by me since the day I discovered how bad fetishes are). With wolves I don’t get aroused just because they’re there. I think it’s the idea of hugging or bonding with wolves in general that arouses me, which I think comes from my great fascination and admiration of them. I’m not really sure what causes it, but it could be a fetish.

Also, I can’t really say there’s a lady I’d like to present a sketch to, as it could start some kind of relationship, which I don’t want till I’m older. It’s not that I have no interest in women, because I am heterosexual. I’m just not interested in a relationship at my age.

Thank you for all of the replys so far. 🙂 God bless you and Mary keep you.

Also, I realized that in my earlier post “If I can’t prevent erections, that’s fine: I’m not going to let something like this deter me from my faith or get between me and my goal.” should’ve been worded as, “If I can’t prevent erections, and if this IS a mortal sin, I’m not going to lose my faith: I’ll just end my practice of hugging pillows and move on in life.”
 
These are all good points you guys have made. If the motivation was sexual it would be a mortal sin, but if the motivation was NOT sexual, but rather just the love of wolves, than it would be- pretty much- just a near occasion. There’s still the erection thing to get around, so I have 1 more question.

Concerning I still get an erection from this, would it be possible to train myself not to get an erection, therefore negating any pleasure that would be recieved in this process? I think it can be done, but I don’t know. If pleasure was removed from the process then I would think it wouldn’t really be sinful at all. If I can’t prevent erections, that’s fine: I’m not going to let something like this deter me from my faith or get between me and my goal.
I really think you need to stop this thing… and see a Priest in confession (regarding if it is mortal…venial )…he can help you evaluate the sinfulness and the whole thing…but I think this is something you should cease simply…not do it anymore at all…

…and remember being in a near occasion of mortal sin can be sinful in its own right…

Also I think this interest in werewolves is not good here…
 
Well what is the other fetish you say you used to have?

I think having one fetish makes you more susceptible to developing other fetishes. Did your past fetish have anything at all to do with soft/furry objects, big beasts, violence, fear, domination… or anything along those lines? If so, it might help you explain the unexpected erections you get.

Maybe you don’t see the connection between that fetish and your werewolf pillow issue, but perhaps one of us will, and we can point it out to you.
 
Sounds like a fascinating story. You must be very creative. Please don’t let anxiety about sin distract you from you art. It sounds like you have a gift.

Your interest in wolves is intriguing. I wonder if perhaps you yourself were a wolf in a past life, and you are yearning for some companionship with your old species. Maybe as a wolf, you lost your father, or someone else important to you. Do you have any psychological or physical characteristics of a wolf?? maybe you like to hunt, your facial features, etc.

How are your relationships with other people? a pillow is not a good substitute for a living person. Perhaps even you could be friends with a real wolf. Probably not as a pet, but maybe you could work with them at a zoo or something.

My advice is to follow your heart, continue to be an artist, but be sure to engage the world, and give of yourself. I don’t see how this could be a sin in any sense. You are seeking who you are, and what wolves mean to you. keep seeking, and you will find who you are. don’t give up. 🙂
 
This is a weird post that I can totally relate to. I happen to love dogs, especially border collies. When my dog died, I howled like a wolf. It seemed like a perfect expression of mourning, to express to God my grief. I love the wolves because they represent a symbol of family with their close-knit pack behavior. And, I happen to emote to werewolf stories because I can relate to latent anger & aggression unwillingly unleashed. I suspect we are kindred spirits.

I have a dog, Hank, who I think of as a hugger. That is, he loves to be petted and will lean into you constantly. Sometimes he will go into a standing position with his back paws on the ground and his front paws on my lap while I’m sitting on the couch. It’s a cushy couch that his male organ may press against. When he gets down, he often goes into an orgasm. He doesn’t know what him and, I’m sure there are no lustful thoughts.

Despite the similarities, your case is different. Not that they are lustful thoughts (no latent desire for bestiality), but if you keep going back to the cushion then you are engaged in a disordered use of your male sexual organ. To continue this practice, I am quite sure, is indeed a gravely sinful matter. You must correct it and treat it as gravely sinful.

(Your story idea has some promise if it doesn’t get too dark.)
 
Every night (and some random intervals or whenever) I snuggle or hug a pillow in my bed, imagining it as the wolf and I’m that Austrian boy, embracing my father- the beast I once feared. In this process, I get an erection, which I really don’t want and would rather not get. I’m not sure if the desire is sexual or just comes from the love of canines. I don’t think it’s bestiality, as I’m not really interested in having sex at all, especially not with animals, nor masturbating or porn- both of which I absolutely despise. Bestiality or not, I’m not sure.
The reason you are having an erection is because you are experiencing groinal response, which is a natural involuntary biological response to the stimuli of hugging the pillow. Don’t confuse that involuntary response for sexual desire when you already know you don’t have one. This is something that often confuses people. An erection does not equate to sexual desire. It is simply a natural response to stimuli (wanted or unwanted). Men experience erections when they sleep as part of the natural biological function of their bodies. This does not mean that men sexually desire sleep.

You should stop hugging the pillow to prevent the situation from turning into a temptation for masturbation… especially since the situation has caused you to be disturbed.

The good news is that I don’t think you have a fetish. A Fetish is the sexual attraction to an inanimate object or symbol, which represents a person or a particular sexual situation. Fetishes usually develop after puberty… when a person is fully aware of the concept of sex. A person uses a fetish to think about a person or sexual event and relive it over and over in their minds. This is a form of obsession related to sexual fantasy.

You yourself have said this behavior and the fantasy is not sexually motivated. So, put the sexual craziness out of your mind. It has nothing to do with fetishes or bestiality. You are neither attracted to the wolf or anything the wolf symbolizes.

You have mentioned something that I think you need to examine. You mention the wolf represents your father the “beast you once feared”. You imagine yourself giving affection to the wolf… hugging the pillow as a sort of surrogate for the symbol of your father. This I think is what is at the root of your behavior and your fantasy. You obviously desire affection… perhaps unrequited affection. Your erection is an accidental side effect to this behavior, but it is not an expression of sexual desire or even lust.

You shouldn’t be expressing affection to either a pillow or a fantasy. That can only lead to confusion, and it won’t fulfill your need for affection. It can lead to a near occasion of sin in your attempt to fulfill you need for affection.
 
Your interest in wolves is intriguing. I wonder if perhaps you yourself were a wolf in a past life, and you are yearning for some companionship with your old species. Maybe as a wolf, you lost your father, or someone else important to you. Do you have any psychological or physical characteristics of a wolf?? maybe you like to hunt, your facial features, etc.
Uh…that’s…not…in the…Cathechism…
 
The reason you are having an erection is because you are experiencing groinal response, which is a natural involuntary biological response to the stimuli of hugging the pillow. Don’t confuse that involuntary response for sexual desire when you already know you don’t have one. This is something that often confuses people. An erection does not equate to sexual desire. It is simply a natural response to stimuli (wanted or unwanted). Men experience erections when they sleep as part of the natural biological function of their bodies. This does not mean that men sexually desire sleep.

You should stop hugging the pillow to prevent the situation from turning into a temptation for masturbation… especially since the situation has caused you to be disturbed.

The good news is that I don’t think you have a fetish. A Fetish is the sexual attraction to an inanimate object or symbol, which represents a person or a particular sexual situation. Fetishes usually develop after puberty… when a person is fully aware of the concept of sex. A person uses a fetish to think about a person or sexual event and relive it over and over in their minds. This is a form of obsession related to sexual fantasy.

You yourself have said this behavior and the fantasy is not sexually motivated. So, put the sexual craziness out of your mind. It has nothing to do with fetishes or bestiality. You are neither attracted to the wolf or anything the wolf symbolizes.

You have mentioned something that I think you need to examine. You mention the wolf represents your father the “beast you once feared”. You imagine yourself giving affection to the wolf… hugging the pillow as a sort of surrogate for the symbol of your father. This I think is what is at the root of your behavior and your fantasy. You obviously desire affection… perhaps unrequited affection. Your erection is an accidental side effect to this behavior, but it is not an expression of sexual desire or even lust.

You shouldn’t be expressing affection to either a pillow or a fantasy. That can only lead to confusion, and it won’t fulfill your need for affection. It can lead to a near occasion of sin in your attempt to fulfill you need for affection.
I think a lot of what you’re saying could be correct, although I think the fantasy could become sexually motivated if he doesn’t stop this practice. Like you, I think that this might not *necessarily *be a fetish yet, but just an involuntary response. However – like you said – even if it’s an involuntary response, the pillow-hugging should be put to a complete stop.

Not only could it be a temptation for masturbation, but I think this activity could develop into a fetish or some other kind of sexual deviation (if it hasn’t already) if he doesn’t stop this now. And like Debora said, it is so much easier to develop a fetish when you already have some.

Werewolf, I know this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but I also think you should put to a stop the fantasy as a whole – the pillow-hugging, the sketches, and the story. I think that all of those activities are too closely related for you to continue with any of them. It might seem frustrating and unfair right now, but it could very well save you from a world of confusion and problems later on.

But, above all, I think you need to discuss your situation with a priest to determine which activities you should put to a stop and which activities you can continue without it being either a source or temptation for sin.

As a note to others that are reading this, I always worry about giving the wrong advice. I was reluctant to write this post, but I thought it was necessary, since I know a little bit about this sort of thing. If any of you think that I’m giving the OP unnecessary anxiety or my advice is lacking any area, please let me know.
 
I think a lot of what you’re saying could be correct, although I think the fantasy could become sexually motivated if he doesn’t stop this practice. Like you, I think that this might not *necessarily *be a fetish yet, but just an involuntary response. However – like you said – even if it’s an involuntary response, the pillow-hugging should be put to a complete stop.

Not only could it be a temptation for masturbation, but I think this activity could develop into a fetish or some other kind of sexual deviation (if it hasn’t already) if he doesn’t stop this now. And like Debora said, it is so much easier to develop a fetish when you already have some.
I totally agree with you, and I was thinking the same thing. I wanted to hear Werewolf’s response before mentioning that this sort of behavior could become a fetish… especially since this could easily become a sexual fantasy if indulged in any way.

The only thing is we have no reason to think that Werewolf is having such a fantasy. I got the impression he’s a little freaked out: just like when a young man has his first nocturnal emission and doesn’t know if the result was caused by desire or natural biological function.
 
Maybe you need to just get a dog as a pet, and this whole sex thing will disappear. There will be no point in fantasizing once you have a canine buddy, in a non-sexual context.
 
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