This is kinda odd

[vera_dicere]

I’ve been having discussions with a non-Catholic Christian lad, wherein I was trying to answer his questions about our faith. Eventually the conversation of well, you know “impurity” came up. I gave him a raft of literature and links that I have seen many times posted here and which I thought were accurate.

Long and short of it, he read them, agreed and decided to stop doing such things.

Now, I think that’s great! He thinks its great! I’m sure God thinks its great. But the other day he told me that he was very proud that he hasn’t done in it in over two months.

That’s what I thought was odd, he was proud of not sinning. Does that seem strange to anyone else, that an individual can be proud of not doign something they’re not supposed to be doing in the first place?

While he has expressed interest in teh Catholic Church, from our discussions it seems he’s a long way off from RICA, so, is it a sin to be proud of not sinning, or is it just strange but kinda okay?

I’ve never come across anything like this before adn its confused me a tad. Anyone got any ideas or opinions? I haven’t said anything about this to him, not sure if I should.

 

[baltobetsy]

The sin of “impurity” is a very difficult one to overcome, especially if one has developed a habit. It’s fine to feel a certain pride in the accomplishment of kicking that habit. I’m sure it was a mighty struggle. Pat your friend on the back!

Betsy

 

[KraftyNana]

I think that it is fine and appropriate to be proud of yourself for being able to give up a sin that you have struggled with. This is very different than someone who is proud of not comitting the sin who never comitted it in the first place. The sin of impurity is an especially hard one to give up and your friend deserves congratulations
Nana

 

[revert_jen]

There are a lot of different kinds of pride. There is pride that is mostly gratitude, which is great. Then there is the other possibility, that the person has substituted spiritual pride for impurity. Here are a couple of quotes from C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity about pride, with I have always thought were very good.

On the “it may be no problem” side, we have:
Mere Christianity:

Pleasure in being praised is not Pride. The child who is patted on the back for doing a lesson well, the woman whose beauty is praised by her lover, the saved soul to whom Christ says “Well done,” are pleased and ought to be. For here the pleasure lies not in what you are but in the fact that you have pleased someone you wanted (and rightly wanted) to please. The trouble begins when you pass from thinking, “I have pleased him; all is well,” to thinking, “What a fine person I must be to have done it.”

On the other side we have:
ibid:

…many a man has overcome cowardice, or lust, or ill-temper by learning to think that they are beneath his dignity–that is, by Pride. The devil laughs. He is perfectly content to see you becoming chaste and brave and self-controlled provided, all the time, he is setting up in you the Dictatorship of Pride–just as he would be quite content to see your chilblains cured if he was allowed, in return, to give you cancer.

Since I can’t see into your friend’s heart, I don’t know which thing is happening. It sounds to me like it is probably pleasure at having been able to do something that would please God, but I can’t know. Since I can’t imagine any circumstances in which it would be appropriate for you to ask him about it, I’d suggest praying for him, maybe something like, “Lord, strengthen the resolve of N to act in a pure and chaste manner. Help him also to be filled with gratitude for You whenever he thinks of the progress he has made.” The prayer doesn’t assume that your friend is suffering from pride now, so it doesn’t matter, for the sake of the prayer, whether he is or not. And we all need more gratitude to God.

–Jen

 

[Monica4316]

Maybe he meant it more as an expression, like how people say “I’m so proud of my son!” etc. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean pride?

 

[sabriner]

Maybe he meant it more as an expression, like how people say “I’m so proud of my son!” etc. It doesn’t necessarily have to mean pride?

That’s a big possibility too.

Also, someone who is not really a religious person is typically unaware of being prideful. Heck… I love my faith to death but I still have pride in me! But with prayers we will all learn

 

[Jermosh]

I think its perfectly fine to be proud of accomplishments, which not sinning is. In fact they should celebrate.

 

[BillP]

That’s what I thought was odd, he was proud of not sinning. Does that seem strange to anyone else, that an individual can be proud of not doign something they’re not supposed to be doing in the first place?

I don’t think its odd at all. Humans take pride in their accomplishments.

Toddlers are proud of successfully becoming potty trained.

Alcoholics are proud of their sobriety chips

Smokers are proud of quitting

Dieters are proud of their weight loss

Its the human condition, and one of our main motivators.

Frankly, what I find odd is that you find it odd.

 

[Michael1985]

The problem with pride in giving up sin is that we think we did it own our own. Without the grace of God it is impossible to give it up, maybe your friend needs to be greatful rather than proud.

 

[mommamaree]

I think it is good to feel proud about ceasing to commit a sin. I read recently that there is, unfortunately, no distinction in the English language between the good kind of pride that encourages a person and allows them to see the good in what they have accomplished and the other kind of pride, the excessive pride of an inflated ego. The first kind is good and can spur us on to greater accomplishments while also developing our gratitude. The second kind is bad because it is about protecting and nurturing our egos in ways that cover up for feelings of inadequacy and also do not allow for a proper humility.
So pride vs. excessive pride…the first is a joyful feeling, the second is a destructive lie we tell ourselves about our worth.

 

[tafan]

There is a problem with the word “pride” because it really has various levels of meanings. Pride, as a sin, is defined as “the excessive love on one’s accomplishments”. But in mormal day-to-day conversaion, pride typically means “Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association”. Since pride is a sin, people often think of it being wrong, even when it is being used with the latter definition.
Without hearing the entire context, my guess is the lad in the OP was using the latter defintion and that is just fine. Michael1985 post has the best rule of thumb when judging one’s own feelings of pride. I am proud of my kids. If I believe I have raised them to be good kids all on my own and they are good only because of my actions, that would be sinful. If, on the other hand, I am simply using the word to take satisfaction in such good kids being mine, that is actually a good thing.

 

[EmeraldWings]

I’ve been having discussions with a non-Catholic Christian lad, wherein I was trying to answer his questions about our faith. Eventually the conversation of well, you know “impurity” came up. I gave him a raft of literature and links that I have seen many times posted here and which I thought were accurate.

Long and short of it, he read them, agreed and decided to stop doing such things.

Now, I think that’s great! He thinks its great! I’m sure God thinks its great. But the other day he told me that he was very proud that he hasn’t done in it in over two months.

That’s what I thought was odd, he was proud of not sinning. Does that seem strange to anyone else, that an individual can be proud of not doign something they’re not supposed to be doing in the first place?

While he has expressed interest in teh Catholic Church, from our discussions it seems he’s a long way off from RICA, so, is it a sin to be proud of not sinning, or is it just strange but kinda okay?

I’ve never come across anything like this before adn its confused me a tad. Anyone got any ideas or opinions? I haven’t said anything about this to him, not sure if I should.

i think the “pride” he’s expressing is just feeling good for what he’s accomplished, i don’t think it’s a sin, if he feels good about overcoming his sins, that is very good, even if it’s not with the intention of pleasing God(although maybe it is?), God will work in him, don’t worry,
even when we feel good about ourselves or with ourselves for something, like being complimented, or doing a good job, or even winning a game, those good feelings are fine, they are not the sin of pride,
pride is basically an inordinate esteem for yourself, thinking yourself greater then you really are, or thinking yourself better than others,
and if it gets bad enough, it can even reach the point of looking down on God,

but this young lad you’ve been talking to, as far as i can tell, is only excited and happy over his accomplishments.

ok hope this helps, tc.