This is long: Re: Boy Scouts, Family Life

[Eliza10]

Cutting the apron strings is merely a technique used to help the boy excersize the virtues listed in the Scout Law. …

… Being cheerful is easy when mama is cookin’ and tuckin’ you in every night. But unless a man can be cheerful when things are the worst, he doesn’t really possess a valuable virtue.

… But the best way to cut the apron strings is to go where mom can’t keep up. And if she can keep up she’s likely not the mom to cause us worries.

Thanks Jaque. I see your point. But its not exactly encouraging! Cutting the apron strings really seems to be a real Boy Scout intention. You are reinforcing my concern from the other night’s meeting! And it just doesn’t feel right to me. Its a philosophy that says if the strings aren’t cut, the boy will be a mama’s boy. I don’t agree. And I’m concerned about my son hearing that kind of message, consistantly, as if it were the truth.

When my son was a very attached older infant and toddler, there was lots of advice to detach him and go out and leave him with others and let him howl for me. But I didn’t because I believed the truth that letting a child be attached when he wants means he gets that attachment-need met, and then when he is older he is not still seeking to have that unmet need met - and he is MORE independant when he is older.

It turned out to be true - the baby who was overly dependant turned out to be the independant child who doesn’t cling.

So I don’t want someone telling me to “cut the strings”. I think my responsibility is to respond to HIS signs that he needs to pull away. I dont; see the place for inviting someone in to force the issue, with weekly training, group-think, and strong reinforcements of the philosophy at monthly campouts that this is the expected thing for a boy.

I just don’t know.

You don’t know what it means to be Cheerful until you’ve been rained on for 4 days straight, your meals turned to cold mush, and you haven’t slept well.

Hmm, thats another Boy Scout purpose that is being revealed to me. I see some good in that. But I am not convinced its all-good. I am sure, though, that suffering together and toughing out tough times together makes for strong bonds with the boys, a strengthened identity with the group oe suffered together with.

It reminds me of something Gary Smalley wrote about building strong families. He said that in order to have a strong family, you should camp together! He said this is a must! Why? *Because of the hard times you endure together, * The soaked tent, burnt food, etc., etc. Because those hard times and suffering through them are a bond that build a strong family!

So I guess I see scouts as competing with that. All that investment in boy-bonding. Not bad thing. Although, the foundation of Boy Scouts is not faith. Its other things. Yes, Religion is a merit badge. Like Community Service and First Aid. But religion is not a way of living life in Scouts.

Hmm. Just some thoughts.

 

[Eliza10]

I want to respond to all of these but at least right now I don’t have time. But I have been wanting to respond to BLB’s since I read it, which was right after she wrote it! Thanks BLB for excellent thoughts. You know just what I was writing about.

My husband and his brother quit the Scouts because
a) they didn’t like the “merit badge” mentality where you learned some little bit of something and then wore it on your sleeve that you knew something about it.

Yes, I have the same reaction, too, along with also seeing a “merit” to it!

b) their dad was extremely knowledgeable about the outdoors, as he was an accomplished mountain-climber and active in mountain rescue. They had plenty of very knowledgeable and reliable men to hang out with…

And I wish that for my son, but he doesn’t have that.

c) their mother did not attempt to run their adventures.

You mean she gave them space, if they desired to do some adventure? Providing it was safe? I would do that too.

My husband lived at home until several years after he went to college, at which time he lived with his brother. He lived alone when I met him, but called his mother every day…

I like that!

His mom lives with us now. Nevertheless, my husband does dishes, does laundry, and does whatever else he sees that needs doing *because his mother taught him how. *She didn’t see catering to him as her job. She saw teaching him how to take care of himself as her job. In fact, my husband made breakfast for the three of us this morning. He is not a mama’s boy, and she is a wonderful lady that I am lucky to have living in the same house…

This is wonderful. This is the kind of man I would like my son to turn out to be. Yes.

Another thing: my husband grew up feeling sorry for the Scouts. He remembers seeing them out hiking on the same trails he was hiking with his family, only they were slogging along, their eyes focussed four feet in front of them, forced march. His parents taught him that there is no reason to be outdoors if you aren’t going to lift up your eyes, perk up your ears, and take it in just for the sake of taking it in…

Gulp. This was also a small nagging concern of mine. What is the long term impact on the formation of the boy in such an expereince? Hmm. I do seee the benefits of toughing it out thru hard times together. But I am wondering about the “whole package”.

Yes, i like the idea of teaching about just enjoying God’s creation. To just be. And in the quiet and the being-there, being with the presence of God. I don’t think the scouts are going to point that out in the moment. And if there are so many scouting hikes and campouts, then thats goping to be his imprint the nature experience. Becaseu* there are only so many weekends*. Once a month, was the schedule I saw.

Later, my husband became active in mountain-climbing and mountain-rescue himself, so he was no loafer on the trails. .

All right!

I don’t think that all Scout troops are like that, but if your child joins the Scouts, make certain that the leaders of their troop know why on earth it is worth spending time in God’s creation in the first place…

Well, I know what to look for now. Good tips here.

By the way, one of the reasons I married my husband is the way he treated his mother and the way she treated him. That was one of the smartest things I ever did. .

Wow, you sure picked right! I didn’t! I picked so wrong. How did you end picking right?? If I had a daughtrer, i sure would want to be able to tell her.

So anything you can do to raise your son to treat you the way you’d want him to treat his future wife, do that. .

Yes, and thank you for that encouragement because I really think thats among the top most important things I need to do as a parent! I think how he is formed now will have major impact.

Putting his relationship with his family second to his relationship with an organization isn’t it. Choose your troop wisely.

Thank you. Your email really made me think. Its been “stewing” with me since i read it. Thanks.

 

[Pani_Rose]

Another quick thought if I may. Our sons often said that the boys that started in Weeblos and Cubs often burned out. They did not get the fullness of Scouting at the time it was most beneficial in their lives. :tiphat:

 

[Eliza10]

Thanks Jaque. I see your point. But its not exactly encouraging! Cutting the apron strings really seems to be a real Boy Scout intention. You are reinforcing my concern from the other night’s meeting! And it just doesn’t feel right to me. Its a philosophy that says if the strings aren’t cut, the boy will be a mama’s boy. I don’t agree. And I’m concerned about my son hearing that kind of message, consistantly, as if it were the truth.

When my son was a very attached older infant and toddler, there was lots of advice to detach him and go out and leave him with others and let him howl for me. But I didn’t because I believed the truth that letting a child be attached when he wants means he gets that attachment-need met, and then when he is older he is not still seeking to have that unmet need met - and he is MORE independant when he is older.

It turned out to be true - the baby who was overly dependant turned out to be the independant child who doesn’t cling.

So I don’t want someone telling me to “cut the strings”. I think my responsibility is to respond to HIS signs that he needs to pull away. I don’t see the need to invite some other [erson or group in to force the issue - with weekly training, group-think, and strong reinforcements of the philosophy at monthly campouts, that this is the *expected

thing for a boy.

I just don’t know.

Hmm, thats another Boy Scout purpose that is being revealed to me. I see some good in that. But I am not convinced its all-good. I am sure, though, that suffering together and toughing out tough times together makes for strong bonds with the boys, a strengthened identity with the group one suffered together with.

It reminds me of something Gary Smalley wrote about building strong families. He said that in order to have a strong family, you should camp together! He said this is a must! Why? *Because of the hard times you endure together, *The soaked tent, burnt food, etc., etc. Because those hard times and suffering through them are a bond that build a strong family!

So I guess I see scouts as competing with that. All that investment in boy-bonding. Not bad thing. Although, the foundation of Boy Scouts is not faith. Its other things. Yes, Religion is a merit badge. Like Community Service and First Aid. But religion is not a way of living life in Scouts.

Hmm. Just some thoughts.

 

[Eliza10]

Another quick thought if I may. Our sons often said that the boys that started in Weeblos and Cubs often burned out. They did not get the fullness of Scouting at the time it was most beneficial in their lives. :tiphat:

I know this isn’t your point - but my reaction is: Good, then maybe he’ll burn-out if this isn’t what he is supposed to do!

Dispite my misgivings I am also encouraged by your good experience. I just need to give it all some more thought.

 

[Jay2]

I’ll cut in my .02 here again… another long post/story, but with positive ending.

This past weekend was our monthly outing - at the Phillippo Scout Reservation. Subject matter was Orienteering & Cooking. We’d signed up, payed for the trip and we were really looking forward to it.

(Some info:
My son is the current Patrol Leader of his “group” of boys - 6 boys of the same age/ability/rank. He was also chosen (by names in a hat) as “Grub-Master” for this trip - responsible for bringing the chow for the Patrol on this outing… I volunteered to tow the Troop trailer to the Camp (My truck is big/powerful enough, pic is of a different trip, but it takes a lot of adults to have a “boy run” Troop). i94.photobucket.com/albums/l86/CobraPatrol/Goose%20Island%20Wisconsin/th_042306Goose_03JD.jpg

Thursday - my son had it coming out “both ends”… couldn’t keep down chicken broth or crackers. Stayed home from school.

Friday - Felt much better, didn’t get a whole lot of sleep, but went to school and was psych’d about going to Camp.

Friday Night - Hooked up, drove to Camp, Set up, had a great “Cracker Barrel” snack/campfire/song/story session and racked out.

Saturday - (I was at Outdoor Leader Training all day, same Camp luckily)… the boys cooked “Eggs in a Hole” & sausage patties for breakfast and took off on the Orienteering Course… Made pepperoni pizzas via Dutch Oven in field for lunch…while they were lost in the woods for a 1/2 day… Only found two of the seven markers on the compass course… had to backtrack multiple times… but got back to camp (trust me they were never REALLY lost)… and started dinner i94.photobucket.com/albums/l86/CobraPatrol/Phillippo%20Nov%2006/th_Phillippo_Nov06_04JD.jpg Ham Steaks, Beans, Creamed Corn, all over open fire.

Around 9pm my son comes to me all bent out of shape… upset, crying, name it…
“What’s up??”
“I don’t feel good… I’m tired, I feel sick again, I don’t know what to do”

(After talking to him for a bit I find out he didn’t sleep much Thursday night (illness), Friday night (excitement at Camp), and just burned himself out Saturday.)

Stay with me here…

Me - “John, go pack up your gear and we’re going home.”
DS - “I can’t… I’m the Patrol Leader & the Grubmaster… I’ve got a responsibility to my guys!”
Me - “Your Assistant PL and the other Leaders will take care of it… go get your gear”.
DS - “You hauled our trailer… how’s our stuff going to get back??”
Me - “The other Leaders have hitches… don’t worry about it… we’re Scouts! We’re Prepared… remember?”

After about 10 mins. of re-organizing of duties DS & I were in the truck on our way home. He was “lights out” before we hit the paved road out of Camp.

This is an Eleven year old that is concerned about “his guys” knowing what to do, or how his Troop is going to get their stuff home?

If this isn’t an example of building responsibility or leadership I don’t know what is. DS wasn’t really aware of the “built in” backups (adult resources) available. He DID NOT want to leave his Patrol hanging. Only when the Scoutmaster and I assured him that things would be OK he agreed to leave Camp.

Trust me… you will be AMAZED at what your boy can do when given some tools, instruction, and the opportunity to use them. I was totally dumbfounded by his replies. Until this night I only thought he cared about the status of his “GameBoy’s” battery charge…

Cutting the Apron Strings" is a nasty, harsh & misleading statement. Maybe letting them “fray a bit”… is more accurate.

 

[dulcissima]

Just curious, but what are your son’s thoughts? Does he want to continue on with Boy Scouts? Did this troop look like one he wanted to join? On the one hand joining Boy Scouts and working towards Eagle Scouts shouldn’t be done mainly to please mom, and on the other hand if he likes the troop and wants to be a Boy Scout, it doesn’t seem like you should try to steer him away from it. Don’t you think at this point it should be more his decision and your role should be to support him in the decision that he makes?

 

[BLB_Oregon]

Just curious, but what are your son’s thoughts? Does he want to continue on with Boy Scouts? Did this troop look like one he wanted to join? On the one hand joining Boy Scouts and working towards Eagle Scouts shouldn’t be done mainly to please mom, and on the other hand if he likes the troop and wants to be a Boy Scout, it doesn’t seem like you should try to steer him away from it. Don’t you think at this point it should be more his decision and your role should be to support him in the decision that he makes?

This is an important point. I don’t think that healthy Scout troops are after boys who would rather be somewhere else. They want a group of boys who want to work together to reach a common goal, to forge meaningful friendships, and to become better people as individuals.

This is a lot like going out for sports. A boy shouldn’t feel that there is this expectation that he’s going to be an Eagle Scout or make first-string varsity, or whatever. A boy (or girl) should feel that he is being strongly encouraged to make something positive of himself…that he develop the character traits of a well-formed adult.

I’m against the over-scheduled kid, but drifting around doing not much of anything, never developing the talents that interest one, never taking on responsibility, never developing any important competencies…this shouldn’t be an option. Deciding at some point that a particular course for achieving those ends is not working out, though, that should be.

 

[BLB_Oregon]

I want to respond to all of these but at least right now I don’t have time. But I have been wanting to respond to BLB’s since I read it, which was right after she wrote it! Thanks BLB for excellent thoughts. You know just what I was writing about.

Yes, I have the same reaction, too, along with also seeing a “merit” to it!

How he views his merit badges has a lot to do with his troop.

And I wish that for my son, but he doesn’t have that.

This is why organizations like Boy Scouts exist. Your position is very common, and people who are knowldegeable about the outdoors like to share that.

You mean she gave them space, if they desired to do some adventure? Providing it was safe? I would do that too.

Um, in her case, wild horses could not have stopped her husband. Nevertheless, she and I share a philosophy that says that sometimes you have to close your eyes and let Dad decide what is safe.

I like that! This is wonderful. This is the kind of man I would like my son to turn out to be. Yes.

He must have learned this from his mom, because his dad and grandma had an entirely different relationship.

Gulp. This was also a small nagging concern of mine. What is the long term impact on the formation of the boy in such an expereince? Hmm. I do seee the benefits of toughing it out thru hard times together. But I am wondering about the “whole package”.

Kids aren’t so fragile as all that. As long as the troop has safeguards for truly dangerous possibilities, such as emotional or sexual abuse of the boys, your son will be able to handle some time with a Scout master who’s a little bit too gung-ho. We aren’t meant to go through life without picking up a few scratches.

Yes, i like the idea of teaching about just enjoying God’s creation. To just be. And in the quiet and the being-there, being with the presence of God. I don’t think the scouts are going to point that out in the moment. And if there are so many scouting hikes and campouts, then thats goping to be his imprint the nature experience. Becaseu* there are only so many weekends*. Once a month, was the schedule I saw.

It depends so much on the leader…I wouldn’t sell them short, right off the bat.

Wow, you sure picked right! I didn’t! I picked so wrong. How did you end picking right?? If I had a daughtrer, i sure would want to be able to tell her.

You know, my husband is a prince, but he’s far from perfect. We have our trials. Respect your children as you raise them, expect them to respect you, expect your husband to respect you, and teach your kids to expect their friends to treat them with respect, too. Then they will automatically look for someone they can give respect and get it from.

Yes, and thank you for that encouragement because I really think thats among the top most important things I need to do as a parent! I think how he is formed now will have major impact.

I’m always told: form yourself first. Example is the main way kids learn.

Thank you. Your email really made me think. Its been “stewing” with me since i read it. Thanks.

You’re quite welcome.

 

[Pani_Rose]

I’ll cut in my .02 here again… another long post/story, but with positive ending.

This past weekend was our monthly outing - at the Phillippo Scout Reservation. Subject matter was Orienteering & Cooking. We’d signed up, payed for the trip and we were really looking forward to it.

(Some info:
My son is the current Patrol Leader of his “group” of boys - 6 boys of the same age/ability/rank. He was also chosen (by names in a hat) as “Grub-Master” for this trip - responsible for bringing the chow for the Patrol on this outing… I volunteered to tow the Troop trailer to the Camp (My truck is big/powerful enough, pic is of a different trip, but it takes a lot of adults to have a “boy run” Troop). i94.photobucket.com/albums/l86/CobraPatrol/Goose%20Island%20Wisconsin/th_042306Goose_03JD.jpg

OH yeah, I remember those times well.  :D

This may sound like a silly dish, but if you get the rice in the cooking bags, the packages of small shrimp - frozen, and the diced tomatoes that are seasoned,  like Italian - you just cook the rice, add the tomatoes and shrimps, simmer a few minutes and they are off and running.  Nathaiel always made sure there were no sea food allergies, but this became one of their favorite meals.

Do your boys make the peach cobbler?  Oh wow y'all it is so good :D
~~~~~~~~~~~

Eliza10 I pray that it works out well.  I think Scouting at any age is very important because it lays foundations for life.  Just as you being a parent are the first teacher, it is important that skills in life that you teach are reinforced in a place of love and fellowship.  Thank God Scouting for the most part has strong men who are aware and concerned that these young people develop skills that will see them throughout life.

I always admired the youngsters that crossed over from Cubs.  It was a big todo for the Scouts.  They had a celebration of their coming into the troop, got them organized, and working.  I really think often it depened on the parents involvement as to how well they did.  It really takes committment to stick with it, because there are many other activities to get involved in.

I have just finished reading your post to my husband, a trained Assistant Scout Master, Deacon, and also coordinator for the Religuos Merit Badages - the names very depending on the faith orientation.   He said to explain to them that their father is absent and the responcility falls on you to do and know what is going on.  It does send up a bit of  a red flag to him that they are separating out the parents, because Scouting is family involvement.  He also, says if you are not in a Catholic Troop to find one, that supports your  faith and committment.

We were a homeschooling family and we used Scouting very much as part of their school work.  If you get into some of these merit badges there is just a treamendous wealth of knowledge.  He said do not let anyone intimidate you if your desire is homeschooling.  See if you have a Catholic Homeschool group in your area and see if they do not have a troop connected with it.

Also, he said it is good that you be committed to Scouting.  The best way to do this is to become trained.  Go to the BSA and find out what their training schedule is, that gives you a lot of say so in the actions of the troop.  You can even wear a uniform :D

About your Eagle Scout brother, that is not just from scouting.  If you look at his growing up years, I imagine he was involved with sports and also a fraternity or something in college.

I remember our oldest son finishing up.  He would just say I did it, I did it, I never thought I could do it.  His dad was committed, William was so close to being finished at 16, he had even done his Eagle Project - he has turned the side yard of a library into a midevil castle for the promotion of their reading program that year.  FIVE MERIT BADGES TO GO - JUST FIVE!  And he stoped dead in his tracks, sort of burn out I guess.  His dad knew he would always regret not finishing, so when he hit 17, he told him, no merit badges, no drivers license.  :rotfl:He got them done!  We had to do it all over again with the youngest son.  His Eagle Project was placing a fence around a yard for a Catholic Church in a low income housing area - a huge project, had to raise a $1,000 to do it.  Only with him, his badges were done, he was just dragging on with the project.  He finished.  It takes a hard line sometimes to accomplish the goal.  But, today we see it in their lives.  People are amazed they see that they accomplished whatever they tackle, and they are not afraid to tackle anything.

So I'll put my soap box up!

 

[DJJG]

In our Boy Scout troop, and those in our area, the parents are encouraged to participate - in fact most of our leaders are the parents of the boys. We have a few of our leaders, like myself, sho have been with the troop for quite some time and don’t have any family members in the troop anymore, but most have sons in the troop. Even the boys mothers are very involved in our troop.
You can get together with the parents of your sons’ friends, who are also planning on joining a troop and check into some other troops in your area, you don’t have to join the troop in your town, and see what they are like. Most boys would like to join the same troop as their friends - so if you find a good one they couls all join it together - so you may have to drive a little - car pool.
Good luck to you and your boys and God bless you,

 

[Jay2]

DJJG - you and many others are the live-blood in Scouting. Your boys are gone, but you still love the program and help out when you can.

Our Troop couldn’t function without our “Friends of Scouting”!!

 

[Pani_Rose]

DJJG - you and many others are the live-blood in Scouting. Your boys are gone, but you still love the program and help out when you can.

Our Troop couldn’t function without our “Friends of Scouting”!!

AMEN!

 

[DJJG]

DJJG - you and many others are the live-blood in Scouting. Your boys are gone, but you still love the program and help out when you can.

Jay2
Unfortunatley I never had any children (chronicly single:crying: ), but joined the troop when my nephew was in it.

 

[mystified]

During more than 50 years in Scouting, man and boy, there have been good times and hard times. Am presently sponsoring four youngsters in Scouting.
Religion is a key part of Scouting, the Boy Scout Oath puts God first.
There is no Religion Merit Badge; there are, however, religious awards available to Scouts of almost any religion for those who wish to put in the considerable extra effort.
For Catholics there are the Light of Christ award for the youngest Cubs, the Parvuli Dei for the older Cubs, the Ad Altare Dei (the oldest of all religious recognitions for members of the BSA) that a Boy Scout or Varsity Scout may earn, and the Pius XII for the senior level, Venturing, which includes both young men and young women. The religious awards are presented by the religious body to the Scout, and are not required nor are they Scout awards–a fine distinction.
Like milk, Scouting has something for everyone. But, again like milk, it may not be for everyone.
On my honor, I will do my best, to do my duty to God and my country…

 

[Maxply]

You’re a single mom: boy scouting should be of greater interest to you and your situation than if you were married.

I’m a 43 year old guy who made Eagle Scout. At the time I got into scouting, I had just moved to a new town, didn’t have a lot of good friends. On top of this, my parents were constantly embattled, and the result of this was that my father really didn’t do a great deal of fathering with me. Scouting stepped into that gap.

Scout troops are unique, individual animals. Some are tight-knit and active, some boring and formal. So your scouting experience does depend on whether you get into a fun troop; some do more things than others.

I always advise boys to try scouting. It’s so much better than sports. For instance, you spend hours upon hours practicing soccer or hockey. . . and at the end of it, what are you good at? soccer or hockey!

Spend the same time with scouts and you learn: cooking (and cleanup), camping and hiking (knots, knives, firemaking, ecology/environment, geography), and the list just goes on. Take a couple of minutes and look at all the different merit badges and their requirements: getting ahead in scouting will make your boy much more knowledgeable about the world around him than sports ever would!

Just from reading your comments, it sounds like you might in the end just be put off by an awkward situation that was there. And what they say about “boy-run” stuff is true: this is how a kid becomes an adult, doing things like planning all the details for doing a campout, etc. I don’t mean to sound aggressive or mean or offensive, but you just may have gotten the wrong impression by this kind of parents meeting.

 

[Eliza10]

Just a quick insomniac’s check into my thread! I do not want folks to think I am ungrateful for the tremendously thoughtful responses to my query! But at the very time I wrote this, I was thrown into a crisis, one of layers, which I am slogging through, head-down, like a scout on a swamp-hike in the rain. Nearly there! I will soon get back to comment further on this topic, and particularly on the great (name removed by moderator)ut that has been offered. Thank you, all!

 

[Maxply]

Eliza: just another note!

There’s a point in a boy’s life when he wants to hang out with his male peers. “No women allowed” kind of thing. Geez, even grown men like having time to let their hair down together. . . if they still have any hair.

I know women like to spend time together shopping, coffee klatsching, etc. Nothing wrong with that.

I think scouts like boys to have that kind of time together. In recent years, I understand there are more female leaders with the scout troops. I can see how they might be good to have around if that’s all you can find and you need an adult leader/helper, but at the same time, hard to imagine having as much fun if they’re around. Less of an adventure, to be sure.

Reading your notes, perhaps the leaders of that troop were a bit awkward about dealing with the parents. A typical scout meeting is a pledge of allegiance, saying the scout oath, etc., doing minutes, having some discussion, perhaps a couple of games, planning the next campout, etc. We used to have a great time just rehashing the last hike or campout, sitting around like a bunch of old men.

 

[Eliza10]

Just curious, but what are your son’s thoughts? Does he want to continue on with Boy Scouts?.. Don’t you think at this point it should be more his decision and your role should be to support him in the decision that he makes?

Sorry so long in getting back to this. I agree with encouraging his own decisions and supporting him. Thats a very important dimension of parenting. The other dimension - where I encourage him, what I steer him towards - thats what I focused on here. As parents we have a responsibility to train up a child in the way he should go. It really is a mix of controlling what circumstances we can and influencing what we can, and having the wisdom and grace to step aside and allow the unfolding of God’s plan and will in his life. Also supporting that, as it reveals itself.

 

[Eliza10]

Thank God Scouting for the most part has strong men who are aware and concerned that these young people develop skills that will see them throughout life.

It is a good thing to have other men involved in his life in a structured way.

I have just finished reading your post to my husband, a trained Assistant Scout Master, Deacon, and also coordinator for the Religuos Merit Badages.

It was nice of him to take an interest!

He said to explain to them that [his] father is absent and the responsibility falls on you to do and know what is going on. .

Yes

It does send up a bit of a red flag to him that they are separating out the parents, because Scouting is family involvement…

Yes, I am going to ask around and look closer at that.

He also says if you are not in a Catholic Troop to find one, that supports your faith and committment…

Yes, though one is not likely to find an “ideal” anywhere. Also driving distance has to be realistic.

We were a homeschooling family and we used Scouting very much as part of their school work. If you get into some of these merit badges there is just a tremendous wealth of knowledge. He said do not let anyone intimidate you if your desire is homeschooling. See if you have a Catholic Homeschool group in your area and see if they do not have a troop connected with it…

Well, things changed since I originally posted. That day it certainly seemed that God was making all things work together in an almost ordained way that we could homeschool again, as we so desire so much to. Everything was in place! We were so happy! I prayed hard and long every day as I waited for the miracle of the legally-neccessary permission from his out-of-state father to be granted so we could go ahead with our plan and our hope to homeschool, but it was denied. So that battle dear to my heart is lost. It will be public school which the law favors here.

Fortunately this year the public school schedule allows for Daily Mass before school (its also the last year we can). God is giving me the grace of peace that passes all understanding, and also, for both my son and I, an urge to keep praying for what seems impossible - that we can homechool sometime again, still.

But, a public-school-centered life, and the homework life all based on the school’s currriculmn and their plan of what my son needs to learn as he grows, and added to that, custodial visitations out-of-town with his father - all have me wondering with a heavy heart: How I am going to impart Catholic values and a Catholic way of life in what little time I have left to work with?

So the heaviness of these concerns, for which there is no clear solace, have overshadowed my concerns and thoughts of scouting. When I started this thread, I was “sure” we would be homechooling and I was so free and happy about that. It made other things easier to think about. So for scouting, for now, I just need to wait for Gods direction.

Also, he said it is good that you be committed to Scouting. The best way to do this is to become trained. Go to the BSA and find out what their training schedule is, that gives you a lot of say so in the actions of the troop. You can even wear a uniform .

If he does scouting, getting trained and involved as a leader would be the very best thing. Though, on the other hand, I am wondering how I wil posibly have time to divide myself so many ways.

About your Eagle Scout brother, that is not just from scouting. If you look at his growing up years, I imagine he was involved with sports and also a fraternity or something in college…

Fraternity, yes. Sports came *after *college for him - triathelons and such. But I do realize that there are other factors than scouts that can have influenced.

I remember our oldest son finishing up… so when he hit 17, [his dad] told him, no merit badges, no drivers license. He got them done! .

LOL!

It takes a hard line sometimes to accomplish the goal. But, today we see it in their lives. People are amazed they see that they accomplished whatever they tackle, and they are not afraid to tackle anything.

I am all for parents encouraging their kids to endure with the goals they have set.

Thanks for the helpful (name removed by moderator)ut, Pani Rose!