This is probably not a good time to post this

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Lucky_Scrunchy

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due to the election result…

I just wanted advice from people who have suffered setbacks, loss of relatives, huge disappointments, etc, and how they dealt with it spiritually.

I have had some pretty huge crosses this past year, including the loss of my father which has been so painful and it’s been a year and not letting up. I feel just so empty on the inside. I can barely pray and have no desire to do so. Doing anything prayerful is hard, going to mass is hard, everything spiritual is hard. I keep asking the Lord for help on getting back on track and that I am not being indifferent to him, its just so hard when there is so much pain, sorrow and emptiness.

I’d love to hear how others have dealt with their pain and relationship with the Lord.
 
Hi Lucky.

I am very sorry your loss of your father and all the other burdens you are experiencing right now. I can imagine that this time is pretty lonely for you because although the election results happened and many Catholics are angry with the results, you still have to deal with those crosses. I’ve never experienced the loss of a parent but my Grandmom who I was very close with died 18 months ago. Also, I experienced a huge loss when my ex-girlfriend broke up with me 2 years go. I took solace each time with reading from the Psalms because the author talks about all sorts of emotions and loss and loneliness and emptiness is a common theme. I also took great solace in reading from meditations on Jesus’ cross. In it, it talks about when family members disappoint you, when you disappoint friends/family, when things are unjust, when things our lonely. Our Lord experienced them all and then some. Aligning my cross and realizing Jesus carried His cross too gave me much peace.

As far as still feeling empty after a year, there is no set timeline for these things. I can imagine I will miss my Grandmom until I see her again in Heaven. May the peace of Christ be with you.
 
There are a few things that have helped me at these times, maybe you could try them…

Let Christ console you. Picture him holding you, or his Mother Mary and let them just be with you. This can bring great consolation. Be still. Still yourself, just slow down and be quiet. Picture yourself in his arms and remind yourself that he understands like no one else can, and he loves you just where you are.

Keep doing your regular spiritual routines (prayer, mass, etc) even when you don’t feel like it. Tell God you don’t feel like it, but you’re doing it for Him. Graces will follow (feelings may or may not follow).

Go to Eucharistic Adoration and just sit there. I find when I keep trying really hard to be in a different spot spiritually, this is what works. Just sitting there, saying to Jesus, this is me now, I feel empty, I feel sad, I can’t do anything else, please help me, please show me your love. Tell him everything and let him love you.
 
Schedule an appt with your Priest or a spiritual advisor - or just someone you trust to keep your confidences.
Sometimes just getting “it” off your chest and talking about your feelings helps.
Maybe even your family Doctor??
We shouldn’t have to always go thru our troubles alone, if there’s someone that can help share the burden.
By just coming here and expressing your thoughts - you’ve taken a step in the right direction!!
I’ll pray for you 😉

((HUGS))
~~Prairie Rose
 
See your Priest for the spiritual pain. See your doctor in case it’s medical. I’ve had depression for years and didn’t know what to do about it. It took a nervous breakdown to get me somewhat straightened out. Don’t let it get that far, it wasn’t pretty.
 
Prairie_Rose said:
Schedule an appt with your Priest or a spiritual advisor - or just someone you trust to keep your confidences.
Sometimes just getting “it” off your chest and talking about your feelings helps.
Maybe even your family Doctor??
We shouldn’t have to always go thru our troubles alone, if there’s someone that can help share the burden.
By just coming here and expressing your thoughts - you’ve taken a step in the right direction!!
I’ll pray for you 😉

((HUGS))
~~Prairie Rose
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I agree with this 99%… the only change I would make is that the family doctor should not be a “Maybe”… You need spiritual direction (everyone could use that IMO) but it sounds to me like you may be suffering from clincal depression as well (I am not a doctor so I might very well be very wrong)… Please see a doctor.

I will be adding you to my prayer list

God bless
 
Lucky_Scrunchy said:
due to the election result…

I just wanted advice from people who have suffered setbacks, loss of relatives, huge disappointments, etc, and how they dealt with it spiritually.

I have had some pretty huge crosses this past year, including the loss of my father which has been so painful and it’s been a year and not letting up. I feel just so empty on the inside. I can barely pray and have no desire to do so. Doing anything prayerful is hard, going to mass is hard, everything spiritual is hard. I keep asking the Lord for help on getting back on track and that I am not being indifferent to him, its just so hard when there is so much pain, sorrow and emptiness.

I’d love to hear how others have dealt with their pain and relationship with the Lord.
Click to expand...
I have been there and I may be there again. You have my prayers and a hug.

First of all, have you had a thorough medical check up? Losing a parent can plunge one into depression that must be treated medically - please, if you can, treat yourself with kindness and make sure you are on solid ground physically.

I have struggled with being rejected by people in my family who once were strong in the Faith. They were my heroes even when I was locked in sin and degradation. Now that I have returned Home to Rome I feel as though I am the last Catholic standing in my family. The lonliness can be unbearable - but Father Serpa always turns my attention to the crucifix in meditation when I get to the point where I feel I cannot take one more step, listen to one more nasty comment, be rejected one more time by people who once loved me. I look to Him on the crucifix and I realize He knows exactly what I am going through because He has been through it too.

Hang in there, honey. 👍
 
:hug1:Still thinking and praying for you. I can certainly identify with your feelings and pain. Sometimes the only reason I continue to attend Mass etc. is because I don’t want to confuse my children. I know that “chucking it all” would never work for me. There is no way I can understand the pain and suffering around me. I just go through the motions(of praying, etc) some days–like today when I think good grief when does our side win!! I will continue to pray for you and your family.
 
Myqyl said:
I agree with this 99%… the only change I would make is that the family doctor should not be a “Maybe”… You need spiritual direction (everyone could use that IMO) but it sounds to me like you may be suffering from clincal depression as well (I am not a doctor so I might very well be very wrong)… Please see a doctor.

I will be adding you to my prayer list

God bless
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I agree.
I suffer from clinical depression myslef, & it is so important to see a doctor to find out if that is part of what you are suffering.
:byzsoc: :console: :gopray2::gopray2::gopray2:
 
chris138 said:
:hug1:Still thinking and praying for you. I can certainly identify with your feelings and pain. Sometimes the only reason I continue to attend Mass etc. is because I don’t want to confuse my children. I know that “chucking it all” would never work for me. There is no way I can understand the pain and suffering around me. I just go through the motions(of praying, etc) some days–like today when I think good grief when does our side win!! I will continue to pray for you and your family.
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Thank you Chris for remembering me. Thank you for your prayers. How is your father doing?
 
Thank you everybody, I concur that I am depressed, I mean who wouldn’t be? I so appreciate all the spiritual advice, it is sorely needed.

God bless all of you.
 
Lucky_Scrunchy said:
due to the election result…

I just wanted advice from people who have suffered setbacks, loss of relatives, huge disappointments, etc, and how they dealt with it spiritually.

I have had some pretty huge crosses this past year, including the loss of my father which has been so painful and it’s been a year and not letting up. I feel just so empty on the inside. I can barely pray and have no desire to do so. Doing anything prayerful is hard, going to mass is hard, everything spiritual is hard. I keep asking the Lord for help on getting back on track and that I am not being indifferent to him, its just so hard when there is so much pain, sorrow and emptiness.

I’d love to hear how others have dealt with their pain and relationship with the Lord.
Click to expand...
Being catholics we do have a lot to be grateful for when someone dies, even tho we miss their presence and company. These are the things that I find that console me the most.

One is that I know someday I will see them again, they are not gone forever. I will talk with them again and enjoy sharing their company. Our parting is only temporary.

Another is that they are in the next world, but not annihilated, just in another existence. The church says that we may speak to them as we do with the saints and that they will answer our prayers, if in heaven or in purgatory.

Another blessing we have is that if they are in purgatory we can be of great help to them which should be consoling to us. When we think of them, we can say prayers to the three persons in the blessed Trinity, Mary, saints, for the relief of any suffering they may be experiencing. This will do them more good than all the tears we shed. Instead of just thinking of them, we can talk to them and then offer prayers for their release or relief of suffering. That is a great advantage we have, doing something that means something to them. Even on a daily basis we may experience a closeness with them by praying for them and offering up the pain to Jesus.

It may be that some have lost loved ones and friends who don’t appear to have made the happiness for which they were made. But we should not assume that, because we are often fooled. Nor should we assume that just because they were such good people they do not need our prayers. We should pray for all those we care about and not assume anything. God is merciful and loving. We don’t know everything about them as he does. And at the end of life, there may be a few moments when the person is approached again and may be offered a choice of happiness which is not apparent to us. So we must always assume that they need our prayers.

And then they are with Jesus Christ which we receive in Holy Communion. So that the next Communion unite your heart and thoughts to them along with Jesus presence and ask his blessing.

We are indeed fortunate to have such a loving saviour who gives us hope and consolation.

Just some thoughts that may help.
 
Lucky_Scrunchy said:
Thank you Chris for remembering me. Thank you for your prayers. How is your father doing?
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It is an up and down journey. At this point things are not great. Please keep us in your prayers as well. You can follow my dads prayer thread for updates, I try to post every day or two. Cancer stinks. Feel free to PM me anytime to vent or talk about your dad. I usually get on here once a day. I would be happy to share my email with you privately as well.

chris
 
Been down the “parents have cancer” journey twice, it is a huge cross. I miss my dad so much, I’m still in the denial phase, can’t believe he’s gone yet. I constantly have to remind myself that life is short and I will see him again never to be separated. That gives me peace.

About six months ago, i started crying and my two kids were concerned. I shared with them that the thought of spending the rest of my life without him would be extremely hard. My nine year old then said “but mama, time goes by real fast”.

Out of the mouth of babes…
 
I myself have been going through serious personal, mental torment for the past few years…most especially the last 2. My depression has reached an all-time low here and there. All I have to say is, thank God (literally) for daily Mass!!! It’s been my strength, and now I can’t imagine being without. It has truly been my Savior. I also say the Rosary either in the morning or right before Mass, and I pour my emotions out into the prayers.

I will keep you in my prayers. :hug1:
 
Lucky_Scrunchy said:
Been down the “parents have cancer” journey twice, it is a huge cross. I miss my dad so much, I’m still in the denial phase, can’t believe he’s gone yet. I constantly have to remind myself that life is short and I will see him again never to be separated. That gives me peace.

About six months ago, i started crying and my two kids were concerned. I shared with them that the thought of spending the rest of my life without him would be extremely hard. My nine year old then said “but mama, time goes by real fast”.

Out of the mouth of babes…
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I’m sorry for your losses. I too miss my parents. My dad passed away when I was going through chemo. Everyone expected me not to make it and it was my dad instead. But the family was prepared for some loss at the time, be it me or something else. I’m thankful for that. I guess I come to grips with it because I was the one to find them on two seperate occasions. My dad from choking and my mom from a heart attack. It was particurly rough to find them in such a state, esp. my mom who had passed a few days earlier. I went to check on her and found her in her bedroom. For awhile afterwards, I would see them here and there. A guy in the store could have been my dad’s double or the person in the rearview mirror looked like my mom…
Is there something special you have to remember your time with him? Tim
 
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