This is so difficult to explain - all I know is that I'm a mess

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mrpathetic said:
The OP’s body is no longer her own. It is owed to her spouse - whom she is denying sex to. She is denying this debt, and as such, is “in default.” And this condition is disordered, and gravely sinful.
It is time for her to pay up.
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You are dealing with two extremely wounded people who haven’t established physical intimacy since day 1 of their marriage because they clearly have severe problems with mutual communication, mutual vulnerability, and mutual feelings of safety and trust, and yet you give this woman who is clearly a victim of childhood sexual abuse the exact same words she would hear from any pimp on the street:
It is time for her to pay up.

Somehow these pathetic words simply fail to express a genuine Catholic concern for the dignity, sanctity, sacramentality, mutual love, health (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual), devotion, and self-giving of marriage, and as such I contend are a violation of the stated rules of conduct of this site.
 
former_Catholic said:
Somehow these pathetic words simply fail to express a genuine Catholic concern for the dignity, sanctity, sacramentality, mutual love, health (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and sexual), devotion, and self-giving of marriage, and as such I contend are a violation of the stated rules of conduct of this site.
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If the OP is truly a survivor of CSA - and she does not classify herself as such - then this clearly can function as an impediment to marriage. If this was in place at the point of her marriage, then she has a solid case for annulment. Other members of this forum have stated the same. If she (and he) lack both the spiritual and intellectual abilities to overcome these impediments, then they really should consider annulment. If he (or she) cannot fulfill the requirements of this sacrament, then annulment is the best course, for everyone involved.

Yes, I do care about the dignity and sanctity of marriage - more than you realize, FC. **You have no idea what I have sacrificed and endured, for the sake of Holy Matrimony. **
 
mrpathetic said:
If the OP is truly a survivor of CSA - and she does not classify herself as such - then this clearly can function as an impediment to marriage.
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The OP very clearly stated that she had been exposed to pornography as a child and that she had “horrifically” learned about sex about age 7 which clearly and legally establishes her as a survivor of sexual abuse in childhood. Exposing a child to pornography constitutes sexual abuse of a child. “Horrifically” learning about sex as a child constitutes sexual abuse of a child.

The OP stated that she had not been “molested,” evidencing no apparent memory of any physical trauma that she identifies as being "molested,’ however, *a professional counselor apparently immediately diagnosed her as having had not only a severely traumatic childhood., but one sufficiently severely traumatic to prescribe medication to this young woman as a first course of action. *
 
I think we need to remember that there is a real person who we are trying to help here. There are some very strong statements made here, some as a result of arguments, but none the less things are being discussed very aggressively base on a few statements by the OP. Remember she is not going to be with a professional or a priest when she reads these posts.
 
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