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Xantippe
Guest
That’s a good point.
I think the ship may have sailed with regard to mom being convinced, though.
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I think the ship may have sailed with regard to mom being convinced, though.
R
Rosebud77
Guest
Amen to this and yes , this is one of the reasons folk leave the church; many manage to sty with Jesus.This is the church’s fault and is appalling.
U
UbiCaritas
Guest
Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to meet with the priest. I live across the country, and am (was) estranged from my parents. Have been trying to assist Baby Sister–the only one of us still in contact with our parents–with this mess.Take it to the pastor right now, if it is not too late to have this funeral done according to the family’s wishes. He may relent. Even if it is too late to change anything now, show it to him personally and express your disappointment that he chose not to accommodate the family, particularly considering the circumstances. It may be he will not repeat this unfortunate mistake with another family in a similar situation.
Besides, it will be good to be able to tell the bishop that you have had a conversation with the pastor in question, and relate how it went. Just like school principals wanting parents to try to work out problems directly with teachers, bishops like to know that the laity has made an effort to work out problems directly with pastors and other priests.They understandably dislike confronting a priest with a complaint when the priest had not heard the complaint directly from the aggrieved party first. Excepting when the aggrieved party has a reason to fear retribution, that is only fair.
I’m very sorry you had to go through this at such a sorrowful time. I’m sure we all hope the funeral will be consoling to you and a fitting tribute, in spite of this problem.
I appreciate all the kind comments here. I am weary in body and spirit, and am very much at the point at which I wonder why I even bother with all this. (Answer: the Real Presence, duh.)
Thank you all.
M
mkern
Guest
I am sorry for your loss and the abuse of a father? I pray that you get thru this.
Michael
Michael
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psalm90
Guest
Back in 1962, my mother’s second husband died. A “funeral” was arranged, but it was not what I expected. The man was divorced and remarried to my mother, outside the Church. This put him in an irregular relationship to the Church.
Under these circumstances, the pastor met the funeral party in the vestibule of the church, but not across the threshold of the nave of the church. He said some prayers and whatever, and then we proceeded to the cemetery. That’s a whole other subject about a “funeral” in the Catholic Church for someone who is in an irregular relationship to it. I have my copy of Canon Law, but it is a later version than was operative at the time. So, I don’t know what the rule was at that time. He was buried in a Catholic cemetery, so that was not prohibited, I guess. I don’t recall the grave-side rites.
Under these circumstances, the pastor met the funeral party in the vestibule of the church, but not across the threshold of the nave of the church. He said some prayers and whatever, and then we proceeded to the cemetery. That’s a whole other subject about a “funeral” in the Catholic Church for someone who is in an irregular relationship to it. I have my copy of Canon Law, but it is a later version than was operative at the time. So, I don’t know what the rule was at that time. He was buried in a Catholic cemetery, so that was not prohibited, I guess. I don’t recall the grave-side rites.
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