This weird persistent "desire" to become a nun. Have anyone of you "felt" it?

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sorrowful1

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I say 'weird" because it’s not been long I converted to Christianity (and it’s one of the best decisions in my life). Also, weird because the idea/thought of wanting to be a nun has occurred to me since I was a fat little pig.

The older I grow, the more detached I become from my “friends”. There was a time when mom used to nag me " You’re so naive, your “sacrifice” for your friends won’t get you anywhere but disappointment’. How true she was , but I was so “high on my self claimed glory of being a sacrificing friend’ that I totally ignored her lectures until after many a disappointing incidents (in which I failed to receive the support I " expected” ) , I finally realized “attachment leads to expectations ; expectations lead to disappointment” .

Now, I am detached from everyone (enough said). People drain my energy and the parents worry about me not socializing enough. Well, I’m an introvert , to start with and basically, books are my “friends”. Sickness, struggles and people. I feel so tired from everything, I just want to spend my life in a pious vocation - helping the poor and diseased, in a dedicated service to the Lord.

Have anyone of you " felt" this way? What should I do? Pursue my interest (I know it’s not an easy task becoming a nun) ? Or let it go because the “job” is only for a few select?
 
I’m male, so I have no desire to be a nun. I have decided, that when this is all over, I’m going to serve the poor much more than I am now, somehow.
 
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@adamhovey1988 Well, me too. Currently,
in a “when this is over” phase. But then, I want to give up everything and dedicate my life on this.
 
@(name removed by moderator) You spoke my mind!! To be honest, like you, marriage doesn’t fall in the list of my life’s many choices or plans. And that’s also one of the many reasons, I thought I should be better off leading a life in the covenant.

Although, I do want to get far away from people, I don’t mean to say that the whole mankind repel me. That would be anti-social. I’m just a little bit shy and withdrawn but once, I “discover” that one shares my interests and hobbies, I’m all extrovert.

I’m still trying to figure out my feelings (examining); perhaps, like you said I should discern more into the religious life and I might be able to decide it.
 
I don’t think getting disappointed with your friends or with persons in general is a good indication of a Vocation from God, but it’s good that you keep discerning.

Get a Spiritual Director!

EDIT: Also, you will encounter many people while helping the poor, because, well, the poor are people.
 
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@CelticWarlord 😂😂 I totally understand it. Thank you for the welcome . 😃
 
I felt a strong desire to be a nun when I was 15 or 16 and then again in my 40’s
after my son became a teenager. I am too old now.
 
@AlbMagno What I intended to say is - by being attached to those people, I ended up disappointed only. Not their fault , I should say but what it led to me is practising 'detachment" to avoid expectations. Helping others without attachment and expectations. Of course, I could/can do it in a daily life ( which I try to do) without entering a religious vocation.

But, as a former medical student (did a brief stint as a Registered Nurse during which I was exposed to many a human suffering I could never have had the chance to see) , it has always been my wish and a desire to work for the poor. They are the ones ( I think) that need actual “help” . Yes, they are “people” but I only avoid people who are excessively attached to their material possession, and take pride in it. Those kind of people exhaust my soul, and unfortunately, I seem to be surrounded by that very particular species of humans I detest.

If you have any particular suggestion for a book or anything , I’d be grateful!! ( I shall surely talk to a Spiritual Director).
 
@7_Sorrows If I were you , I’d take it up no matter how old I am. Age doesn’t matter, does it?
 
Most places I have seen have had a cut off date for age. I am 68.
 
Same here. Feel that I have not been obedient to the will of God. :cry:
 
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