So… here’s my story I suppose.
I am a 17 year old who was born and raised Catholic.
For roughly a half of a year, when I was 11, I really wanted to be a priest. It seemed like such an appealing vocation and it was what I truly wanted. Somewhere along the way, my interests changed, my life changed, and this wasn’t what I wanted anymore. I finished grade school, eager for high school.
Now entering my senior year, I look back on my high school career and must say it has been quite a journey.
As with many of those entering such a strange time in his/her lives, I got very caught up in the overall experience of high school. As a freshman, I began binge drinking (like a lot of high schoolers do). It was nothing bordering on alcoholism, yet still can not be viewed upon as a good thing. It was upon seeing the many different sinful aspects of the world that I began to question my faith and my morality.
As a sophomore, I continued this way, and added pre-marital sex to my list of sinful tendencies. I felt no guilt for this, and continued living my life. While my morality seemed to plunge, I remained indifferent to my faith. I did not care enough to think about it.
As a Jr., I continued to indulge in these things, but a twist was added to my life. I went through roughly 9 months of severe depression. However, I made headway regarding my faith. I grew spiritually as a person, and began reflecting more upon my own relationship with God and his effect in my life and the world around me. Through the help of my friends (and God, who I firmly believe worked THROUGH those who helped me) I managed to beat my depression and went on to finish the year happy and comfortable with my life. It was at this point that I believe that I reached my full spiritual/religious understanding and comfortableness.
However, as I progressed through my journey, one thing kept bugging me: I felt as though I had so much to share with the world, but was unaware how to share it. I have always been a smart football-playing student athlete, blessed with many friends who (for some reason) see something in me. I always knew there was something there, but I did not quite know how I could share it.
(Before you continue, just know that I completely understand how completely insane the following paragraph probably sounds lol!)
Until one night, I left myself vulnerable to God so that he may teach me how to share my gifts. Standing alone in a wide open field and looking toward the sky, I simply vacated my mind of any thought and allowed God to speak to me. Upon doing this, I truly felt something I never felt before. It was such a personal, odd experience. I heard no words, but what I did get was a feeling. I felt as though God had brought me to a higher sense of spirituality to give me this feeling. It was the strangest mixture I have ever felt: I felt a perfect blend of anxiety and comfort. I felt as though I was anxious because I was scared of what it was someone was trying to tell me, but comfort in the thought that whatever it was would bring me happiness.
The next day was Sunday, and I went to Church (for the first time in a while, might I add.) During the Homily, my priest gave such a wonderful, enlightening sermon that I began to feel something I hadn’t in a while. I began to feel those same feelings that I hadn’t felt since I was 11 years old. I felt called. It finally all made perfect sense to me. I feel as though God was calling me to the priesthood, where I could use the skills that He gave me to their fullest potential.
Is there a possibility that I may change my mind about this? Sure. But, throughout my senior in high school I plan to pray, listen to what God is saying, and, if by the end of the year I still feel this is what He wants, I will pursue the priesthood.
As for now, I simply plan to live my life, seek forgiveness for my past sins, and share the gifts that God gave me with those around me.
Thank you, and God Bless
