Those who dislike people eating with their Mouths Open

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Zerg

Zerg

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Here’s just a quick message to those who dislike it when people eat with their mouths open–from what I’ve learned in a recent experience.

For years I’ve had a problem with a family member who still refuses to eat with a closed mouth and sometimes deliberately does it in an exaggerated way to irritate. It would irritate me so much that it would make me angry and even make me start harming myself. I now know that these were poor methods of trying to solve the issue.

When it happens don’t even cringe. Just accept it, and stay far away from sin. Swallow your pride and anger–you can control it.

Just like when sand gets into the shell of oyster and irritates it, the oyster turns it into a pearl.

Rather accept the irritation, than to create an enemy.

Say a prayer to avoid sin.

Lord, help me to avoid sin and conflict with others.

This is the solution to the problem that works.

+++ Lord, help us to see the good in people, especially our family and those we see often. Humble us, Lord, make us reject anger and hate. In your Precious Name, Amen. +++
 
Sadly I have been one who eats with my mouth open and often will try to talk with my mouth full. I’m working on quitting those things.😊
 
On the subject of painfully irritating noises (yes, I also hate it when people chew with their mouth open or talk with their mouth full - or chew GUM! that’s even worse because it never stops), here is what Therese of the Little Flower said in her autobiography:

“For a long time at evening meditation, I was placed in front of a Sister who had a strange habit… as soon as this Sister arrived, she began making a strange little noise which resembled the noise one would make when rubbing two shells, one against the other. I was the only one to notice it because I had extremely sensitive hearing (too much so at times). Mother, it would be impossible for me to tell you how much this little noise wearied me. I had a great desire to turn my head and stare at the culprit who was very certainly unaware of her “click.” This would be the only way of enlightening her. However, in the bottom of my heart I felt it was much better to suffer this out of love for God and not to cause the Sister any pain. I remained calm, therefore, and tried to unite myself to God and to forget the little noise. Everything was useless. I felt the perspiration inundate me, and I was obliged simply to make a prayer of doing it without annoyance and with peace and joy, at least in the interior of my soul. I tried to love the little noise which was so displeasing; instead of trying not to hear it (impossible), I paid close attention so as to hear it well, as though it were a delightful concert, and my prayer (which was not the Prayer of Quiet) was spent in offering this concert to Jesus.”
 
Chewing gum when speaking to you on the phone, or at a job interview is also a no-no.
 
Zerg said:
When it happens don’t even cringe. Just accept it, and stay far away from sin. Swallow your pride and anger–you can control it.
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If it is a child do NOT accept it. Please.

If it is a child, please teach them the proper way to chew.
 
As for teaching a child to chew politely with his/her lips closed, yes, I’m down with that.

As for getting annoyed when other people chew with their mouths open, I’ve got way more heavy issues in my life to let something like that get under my skin.
 
I guess I’m lucky I don’t know anyone who would dare eat this way. This has never been a problem for me in my entire life.

God bless you because I would not be able to hide my disgust.
 
my husbands 9 yr old brother does this he chews with his mouth open and makes gulping sounds when drinking and talks when adults are talking and butts into every conversation eavesdrops on everyone and takes food off others plates or worse puts his fingers into the pot of food everyone is going to eat but say ssomething to him and mother in law slaps you in the face:shrug: some things you have to just suck up and take rather than confront and chewing and annoying family members are one of them.
 
Stillsosola said:
my husbands 9 yr old brother does this he chews with his mouth closed and makes gulping sounds when drinking but say ssomething to him and mother in law slaps you in the face🤷 some things you have to just suck up and take rather than confront and chewing and annoying family members are one of them.
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:eek:
She wouldn’t do that to me more than once.
 
maryjk said:
:eek:
She wouldn’t do that to me more than once.
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Yeah in Mexico your in laws can basically treat you however they please and you have to grit and bear it or your being rude and disobediant
 
Stillsosola said:
Yeah in Mexico your in laws can basically treat you however they please and you have to grit and bear it or your being rude and disobediant
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I wouldn’t take that nonsense from my OWN mother, much less someone else’s mother!
 
Zerg said:
Here’s just a quick message to those who dislike it when people eat with their mouths open–from what I’ve learned in a recent experience.

For years I’ve had a problem with a family member who still refuses to eat with a closed mouth and sometimes deliberately does it in an exaggerated way to irritate. It would irritate me so much that it would make me angry and even make me start harming myself. I now know that these were poor methods of trying to solve the issue.

When it happens don’t even cringe. Just accept it, and stay far away from sin. Swallow your pride and anger–you can control it.

Just like when sand gets into the shell of oyster and irritates it, the oyster turns it into a pearl.

Rather accept the irritation, than to create an enemy.

Say a prayer to avoid sin.

Lord, help me to avoid sin and conflict with others.

This is the solution to the problem that works.

+++ Lord, help us to see the good in people, especially our family and those we see often. Humble us, Lord, make us reject anger and hate. In your Precious Name, Amen. +++
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You have found a very good element within you, Zerg.

You recognized you had a problem with someone’s behavior. I assume you may have sought to help the person to stop the behavior.

You saw that not only did the person continue to keep the behavior but that person delighted in irritating you. You reacted with anger towards them and then even turned this to self harm.

Then you found the key - not the key to changing someone else - but the key to peace within yourself. Acceptance. You learned to accept that this person behaves in this manner and you can still be at peace.

You saw the only one you can control is yourself. You brought control of yourself into your life and found peace within yourself. (Not an enjoyment of seeing someone eat with their mouth open, but peace that you will not let their poor behavior rob you of your peace.)

You found a part of this peace involved letting go of the problem and letting God bring you peace through prayer.

That’s a good lesson for all of us to learn to practice and is sometimes hard to do.

Thank you for sharing with us - a message that is really much bigger than how people eat.

God Bless you for a wonderful day.
 
Stillsosola said:
Yeah in Mexico your in laws can basically treat you however they please and you have to grit and bear it or your being rude and disobediant
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I’m sorry you are faced with living like that.

Keep in your own heart that you are not rude or disobedient when you speak to a child about rude behavior.

While you accept that your mother-in-law has an issue with you wanting her young child to have proper manners such as keeping his hands out of the family food or taking food from someone’s plate - do not let her idea that you are rude or disobedient translate into you believing it.

You also do not have to put up with being slapped by anyone. You do not deserve that behavior. Living in Mexico or any place does not mean it is healthy to slap people. Dysfunctional people live in every country - just as “normal” people live in every country.

While your mother-in-law may think slapping is acceptable behavior - it is not - you do not have to be subjected to it.
 
Stillsosola said:
Yeah in Mexico your in laws can basically treat you however they please and you have to grit and bear it or your being rude and disobediant
Click to expand...
Then she would consider me rude and disobedient. Because she wouldn’t slap me more than once.
 
Zerg said:
Here’s just a quick message to those who dislike it when people eat with their mouths open–from what I’ve learned in a recent experience.

For years I’ve had a problem with a family member who still refuses to eat with a closed mouth and sometimes deliberately does it in an exaggerated way to irritate. It would irritate me so much that it would make me angry and even make me start harming myself. I now know that these were poor methods of trying to solve the issue.

When it happens don’t even cringe. Just accept it, and stay far away from sin. Swallow your pride and anger–you can control it.

Just like when sand gets into the shell of oyster and irritates it, the oyster turns it into a pearl.

Rather accept the irritation, than to create an enemy.

Say a prayer to avoid sin.

Lord, help me to avoid sin and conflict with others.

This is the solution to the problem that works.

+++ Lord, help us to see the good in people, especially our family and those we see often. Humble us, Lord, make us reject anger and hate. In your Precious Name, Amen. +++
Click to expand...
If someone does something precisely in order to irritate you, even a secular person will eventually realize that the only way to extinguish the behavior is to cease to show irritation about it. Expressing a patronizing sort of forebearance about their capacity to change when asked if you are bothered is not particularly charitable, but it has been known to work. All is fair in war and between siblings. :rolleyes:

You are right, though: Developing a true and humble forbearance towards the faults and provocations of others is the habit of action that leads to virtue. Virtue is the goal, after all, so that is the superior course, provided the person is not someone whose behavior you have an obligation to guide and correct.
 
If someone is eating disgustingly around me that isn’t a close relative or friend I could just ask to stop, I would have to excuse myself from their vicinity. I have a sensitive stomach to that sort of thing. If I asked someone politely to eat with their mouth closed and they did it even more disgustingly in return, I think that would be enough grounds for me to begin a process of distancing and avoiding being around them as subtlely as possible going forward. Over my lifetime, I’ve learned I am not equipped to be a martyr. I’m much more happy to move on from selfish people altogether where possible.
 
LongingSoul said:
Over my lifetime, I’ve learned I am not equipped to be a martyr.
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:rotfl:

I think that Flannery O’Connor said something like, “I could never be a saint, but I could be a martyr - as long as they killed me quick!”
 
I hate it.

There’s a guy at work. A lawyer. Very, very intelligent. Well versed in all the Classics of philosophy, literature, you name it. He eats and talks with his mouth open, and he’s a laughingstock because of it. You should see the guy eat a tuna sandwich…:eek:
 
I’ve heard there’s an actual psychological condition wherein people have extraordinary reactions to noises made when people eat. I haven’t googled for it, but I trust the person who told me.

By the way, several years ago there was an extraordinarily brutal murder in our community. A husband, wife, and teenaged son were attacked in their sleep and stabbed to death by a classmate of the son. The killer is currently serving life without parole.

Virtually no information of his motive, psychology, etc., has ever been released to the public. We do know, however, that he is extraordinarily bothered by the noises people make when they eat. 🤷
 
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