Those who say religious discernment is hard, raise your hand!

[Bebekoualy]

A good Priest has all of the qulifications to make a good Father of a family. Patience, forgivness, discipline, courage, sacrificial love …etc. For any guys out there I would recommend going to a seminary or monastary even for a couple of days to really dicern. The best way to find out if you are called to the priesthood is to live and work like a priest. A good way to find what you are called to do is to find out what you are not called to do.

God Bless and Mary Keep,

-Patrick,
-www.ourladysyouth.com

Yeah, that’s true. I might try to discern by remoting what isn’t made for me, no?

What about when you don’t think about something at all? (e.g. I’m not interested in Apostolic Orders. Do I have to make an effort? or can it mean that a lack of interest is not being called somewhere?)

 

[DebChris]

Religious discernment is so difficult, especially in our secular, relativistic, materialistic, and media-inundated society! On a brighter note, lol, there are so many options out there of what to do with your life, and it was difficult for me to sort through these.
It was a challenge to know if the peace I felt after being accepted into the convent was true peace of doing God’s will and not just the great relief one feels after making a big decision. I have finally prayed through all this and sorted those feelings out.
Now, I am so happy! I’m entering this fall, and the discernment for religious life continues until Final Vows, one day (God-willing!)

There is uncertainty until a decision is made. I have found that as long as the decision I make is in line with God’s will, I will feel His peace. If on the other hand, the decision is not in line with God’s will for my life, His peace is not there. In other words, the relief that comes after a big decision is one way that we experience God’s peace. I do not find that peace, that relief when the decision is contrary to what God wants from me.
Indecision can in fact be a decision.

 

[beherenow95]

I am going through the same thing-and I find it frustrating & maddening. …right now my great idea is to open a home for unwed mothers here. I have the right people in my life to guide me through the legal & accounting aspects ( I work for a CPA firm)and my best friend is a grant writer. I’m a single mother of 2 grown children and I’m a recovering alcoholic. From what I have gone through I would like to set up services that would help these mothers mentally, spiritually & physically…especially so they don’t feel like they need to accept any man so they can survive or be drawn to men who are no good for them. …

Hello there, did you ever get any more clarity about your calling? Did you make any progress on the home for unwed mothers idea? I volunteer at a pro-life crisis pg center/maternity home and if you need any advice on this, just let us know. Would love to open a new home of this type - the need is always there! - but lacking the time, funds, and connections that you have. Anyway, just curious to know how it’s going. Peace!

 

[Lainey63]

I just found out that a couple who has moved here is opening up a home for unwed mothers and they have been doing this for 26 years. They are now doing fundraising so they can “breakground” as they say. Although they already found a site and work has already begun. I don’t have the funds-but I was told how to begin the first couple of steps but I would have to ask again. How I was going to proceed was with grants, this couple here I guess is not using any government funding I guess. I don’t really know too much. I just had noticed that there are people who are running halfway houses for substance abusers and the houses are nice and the programs are decent and I know they don’t have money…so I figured maybe I could do the same for unwed mothers. I will get the information on the steps and get back to you…maybe you should start a new thread because there has got to be more people in here with the know how. I’ll also get the names of the couple who are opening the home up, there was an article about them in yesterdays paper.

 

[Sister_Helena]

Religious discernment is so difficult, especially in our secular, relativistic, materialistic, and media-inundated society! On a brighter note, lol, there are so many options out there of what to do with your life, and it was difficult for me to sort through these.
It was a challenge to know if the peace I felt after being accepted into the convent was true peace of doing God’s will and not just the great relief one feels after making a big decision. I have finally prayed through all this and sorted those feelings out.
Now, I am so happy! I’m entering this fall, and the discernment for religious life continues until Final Vows, one day (God-willing!)

I’m happy for you. It takes courage and determination to persevere with the discernment process. It makes a difference to have a sense of purpose in one’s life. At least, now you have something to look forward to and can finally begin to fully explore the invitation God gave you. If you don’t hold anything back, you will enjoy the fruits of Carmel, just as God said to the Prophet Jeremiah: “I have brought you into the land of Carmel to eat of its fruits!”

 

[beherenow95]

I just found out that a couple who has moved here is opening up a home for unwed mothers and they have been doing this for 26 years. They are now doing fundraising so they can “breakground” as they say. Although they already found a site and work has already begun. I don’t have the funds-but I was told how to begin the first couple of steps but I would have to ask again. How I was going to proceed was with grants, this couple here I guess is not using any government funding I guess. I don’t really know too much. I just had noticed that there are people who are running halfway houses for substance abusers and the houses are nice and the programs are decent and I know they don’t have money…so I figured maybe I could do the same for unwed mothers. I will get the information on the steps and get back to you…maybe you should start a new thread because there has got to be more people in here with the know how. I’ll also get the names of the couple who are opening the home up, there was an article about them in yesterdays paper.

Thanks a lot - any info you have would be great. It’s like a “someday” thing for me; for now hope to keep volunteering at the existing crisis center/maternity home. So will you still start your own or will you join up with that couple? Best of luck either way!!

 

[roselily]

I can remain true and keep my faith; and for the rest, I trust to God.

 

[Tezza]

(raising both hands)

Heck yes!! It’s been years and I still feel in shock.

My latest thought is how to deal with a spouse that is always right:shrug:

 

[joamy]

My latest thought is how to deal with a spouse that is always right:shrug:

Pray to St Joseph? (No disrespect intended as he is a favorite patron saint. )

 

[roselily]

I still kept thinking uneasily on feel be called is it mean you must be a nun or priest ? curiousity as to what that life would be- I admire those blessed souls, and -
think that-pray and keep faith ,love God and abey his commandants in everyday living, still can belong to our Lord Jesus.
And my imagination saw that our Lord Kingdom will coming soon, and then All will be well.

 

[Cecil84]

I will be graduating in May with a BA in Theology and I was also a member of a religious order for three years(including posutlancy, novitiate, 1st year of vows) before leaving. I feel called to serve as a diocesan priest but I feel woefully inadequate. Would God call someone if they aren’t meant to live that way? I know that there are many people in the same boat.

 

[DebChris]

I will be graduating in May with a BA in Theology and I was also a member of a religious order for three years(including posutlancy, novitiate, 1st year of vows) before leaving. I feel called to serve as a diocesan priest but I feel woefully inadequate. Would God call someone if they aren’t meant to live that way? I know that there are many people in the same boat.

The first college I attended was run by Benedictine monks. Sometimes we have an idealized image of priests and religious as somehow holier than the rest of us. One of the best things about the college was discovering the humanity of the monks. They even scheduled “meet a monk” days. Monks, nuns, and priests have the same human weaknesses as everybody else.
Removing the idea that you must be “perfect” can help with the discernment process. When the pastor of the church in the small town became ill, even the EMTs had difficulty with the concept of the priest as simply a man who needed medical care like any other person.

 

[Cecil84]

The first college I attended was run by Benedictine monks. Sometimes we have an idealized image of priests and religious as somehow holier than the rest of us. One of the best things about the college was discovering the humanity of the monks. They even scheduled “meet a monk” days. Monks, nuns, and priests have the same human weaknesses as everybody else.
Removing the idea that you must be “perfect” can help with the discernment process. When the pastor of the church in the small town became ill, even the EMTs had difficulty with the concept of the priest as simply a man who needed medical care like any other person.

That is true. I think many people have the tendency to see priests and religious as super holy people without realizing that they too, have sins and weaknesses of their own. I am currently reading about John Vianney(one of my favorite saints) and it can be hard to imagine him moaning about getting up in the morning or griping about trivial things, which I am sure he did. I have also read that he was a poor speaker and very shy(at least when he started out) and would give his homilies with his back to the congregation.

 

[Jennifer_G]

It is hard!! I feel like I am racing the clock, as I am 43 years old. I’m a convert - have felt a pull towards the religous life since I was little, but have only been Catholic 3 years. God will get me where He wants me to be, though!!

I think I’m kind of in the same boat. I’m also a convert (joined last year), 32 years old. Since I was a young teenager, I’ve felt called to prayer, or to pray more (it happened after a semi-religious retreat/camp - it wasn’t Catholic, though… - semi meaning that only 5% was focused on scripture readings), but since age 5, I always knew I wanted to be a computer programmer, which I am (for a state agency that helps people with disabilities). I’ve always felt like I could do something more, and I would love to have more time for prayer. Hearing certain family members downstairs carrying on and using the Lord’s name in vain when watching TV shows, or watch TV shows that make fun of religion (like that one cartoon), or even listening to family members go on and on about New Age stuff (they’re not heavily in to it, but they do believe that it’s true) while leaving me to feel like I’m being mocked and ignored when I try to tell them that those beliefs are incorrect, doesn’t exactly help the prayerful athmosphere… but I don’t want to be a nun/sister (if that’s what I’m called to be) just to ‘escape’. Right now, it’s still a curiousity about religious life, and a lot of “what-ifs” between my job, and discernment, and I don’t want to burden a convent with medical issues (nothing major, just I’d always need hearing aid batteries, periodic hearing tests, strong eyeglass perscriptions… and the fact that I have allergies - a convent deep in the woods/fields might not be a good idea come Spring.). One thing I’ve heard is that people could be in discernment (going through the postulancy, temporary vows etc., processes) for 6 years and then be told that they’re not called to be a nun/sister. The other thing is habits. Most orders seem to have partial, or no habits, and they seem to be the orders where 90% of the nuns/sisters look 70 and older (meaning, they might not be around after 30 years). There’s also a little intimidation factor in that it’s like trying out for the Big Leagues.

Then there’s finding what I’m drawn too. I’m drawn to the Rosary, Divine Mercy, brown scapular devotion (thus Carmelite), praying for the souls in Purgatory. Basically, prayer, and some light church work, or convent work, like making breads, candles, etc., and working out in a (medium sized) convent garden. I’d also prefer an area that’s semi-rural. Not rural in the sense that you have to travel 50 miles to say “Hi” to your nearest neighbor, but far away enough from a town/city (few miles or so) that you have several dozen acres of land where the convent is.

So, yeah, I guess it can be hard. I’m kind of leaning towards Discalced Carmelite, or Franciscan (Poor Clares), and maybe Benedictine. I don’t think I’d do well in an order that focuses on health care, social work, teaching, missionary work.

 

[joamy]

Then there’s finding what I’m drawn too. I’m drawn to the Rosary, Divine Mercy, brown scapular devotion (thus Carmelite), praying for the souls in Purgatory. Basically, prayer, and some light church work, or convent work, like making breads, candles, etc., and working out in a (medium sized) convent garden. I’d also prefer an area that’s semi-rural. Not rural in the sense that you have to travel 50 miles to say “Hi” to your nearest neighbor, but far away enough from a town/city (few miles or so) that you have several dozen acres of land where the convent is.

So, yeah, I guess it can be hard. I’m kind of leaning towards Discalced Carmelite, or Franciscan (Poor Clares), and maybe Benedictine. I don’t think I’d do well in an order that focuses on health care, social work, teaching, missionary work.

It does sound like we are in a similar boat. I am going to plug this website - it has a good search engine on it. religiouslife.com/

 

[drewmartinez]

I yeah Ill raise both hands.I hope someone out there is praying for me.

 

[foolishmortal]

Why can’t you just sell all you have and follow Jesus as a member of a community, provided you have no loans (though I’m sure many didn’t have mortgages or school loans then, right?). Early order founders didn’t have application forms and references and such. Sure, you may have people with issues, but I say leave it up to God. The Franciscans are here, despite Br. Elias wanting to make the friars more domesticated. If the other brothers fall away, because of that, they might as well leave the Church for the same reason, as it has its problem leaders too. Like the Church, but not for the same reason (divine protection only being for the Church), these orders rebound after bad times. I think how long one stays should depend on the joiner, unless the joiner is dangerous. Some get so nitpicky, though it may be considered for your own good. One said scrupulosity would be worse in a religious community. Maybe so, but if the causes or perpetuating influences are in “the world”, being away from it may help. Besides, no one makes any promises in postulancy, right? I’m sure the honeymoon period doesn’t end until after you’ve lived in the community during that time. So, I say, “Give the one who wants to sell all he/she has to serve God with his/her all a chance without all the processes”. If people who seemed in good shape when admitted leave, vocation directors should know that anything can happen. If it’s about getting the person insurance and this and that and paying for theology school, maybe they should simplify themselves, at least for those who just want to be brothers (even then, a mild-mannered guy from a strong Catholic family could be a sociopath). Hey, we honor one with a mental disorder as a saint, so what’s with the over-conscientiousness in selecting one for the postulancy? Put it in God’s hands, I say.

If you join a start-up community, is it any easier to be admitted?

 

[dakotagirl]

ooh oh pick me raises hand.

 

[redrosetea]

I will be graduating in May with a BA in Theology and I was also a member of a religious order for three years(including posutlancy, novitiate, 1st year of vows) before leaving. I feel called to serve as a diocesan priest but I feel woefully inadequate. Would God call someone if they aren’t meant to live that way? I know that there are many people in the same boat.

Well that is refreshing, I must say! I would be worried about you if you felt you knew everything, and were just what the church needed…Don’t laugh some act just like this

I think people feel the same way about marriage or any other vocation…You are starting off with humility, that is a wonderful, and valuable asset to have a humble heart

I think you will do just fine

 

[ariasstanthony]

Sister Helena! Thanks for your words!
in my case it has been difficult for two things.In my part for not being honest with my feelings in serving God.The other is that I feel the church does not communicate with spicification and realism the the call of service to God.For what I have experienced in my behave and seeing others, there is nothing concrete about the call to service God.I feel that the church after 2000 years should have enough examples for its parishioners for them to know if they are being called by God to service.What i see is that the prospective priests and servants are being accepted by mere “feeling” or that they have some kind of attitude or shining light on their appearance to be accepted to a religious life.I think for this matter then the Budyist monks should make good catholic priests.Just 'cause they behave a certain pios way!
When I think of the life of Saint Paul; the best apostle of them all, or the most active, I think of realism.He almost died in a ship wreck, he got thrown from a horse, he was blind for 7 days,he was jailed several times,arrested several times,he got bitten by a snake,he worked, and suffered persecution from his people and from the Roman empire.Even Our Lord Jesus had to run away several times from being stoned!The Jewish peole are realistic them selves.i feel is because God is real Him Self!But I feel my beloved constitutional church is too romantic and sentimentalistic.A lots of catholics are leaving the church and the church does not come up with a solution.We say we have the truth but nothing is done about members leaving the church.The church stays with its arms closed and nothing is done about it.Not even the priest defend the church in the pulpit agains those who are taking our members with new ideas or with an easy offer to their problems.i feel that the church thinks the history is already written and nothing can be done.a sence of hoplessness.and dormancy!That everything is ok when in reality is not and the churches seem more empty every weekend as the years pass by.I have said someting about it and I got no response.It is demoralyzing.When i was a kid the priests used to talk about the wrong thins in our society and compare them to the Bible.Now adays I don’t hear the priest preaching agains so many wrongs in our every day lives.So people go to church but since we have no concept of sin and conscience we live a cultural live not a christian life of the fear of the Lord and we go on with life without salt.
My spiritual director, a Vincentian, was right; may he rest in the peace of the Lord.He said that living in a communist country was easier to be a Christian than in a free country.Because in a communist country life is difficult and you have to depend in God all the time.In a free country is more difficult beacause life is easier and you don’t have to depend in God so much.Cause life, like in The U.SA., is much easier and the soul gets lasy.I grew up with a catholic curch that was assertive and concrete about the teachings of the Gospels, now adays is not.Its philosophy is to me:what ever!We don’t want to rock the boat for fear of being wrong!We are too confortable, don’t bother me! let me watch my tv and drive my bran new car! and i don’t mean to generalize for it is not fair, but that’s what I see in my contitutional church.They forgot to fight for the truth.They are afraid of being wrong!They have no more conviction! No more newness of the Holy Spirit to make new things to rock the boat, to confront wrong!
Thank you! Love and prayer, Carlos…a sinner! +
The realism of Saint Paul will save the The Lord’s Church-es! Christ have Mercy!