Thought I'd Seen Everything at Mass...

[Serap]

In the past 15 years, I’ve been in 3 different parishes, 2 affluent and the present one in an older, “downwardly-mobile” suburb. I also attend the Cathedral sometimes. I’ve seen the usual stuff, little kids with food to keep them quiet, cell phones going off, teenagers in skimpy clothes, but have never seen the snacking, video games, iPods or any of that you’re talking about. It’s probably a good thing because I have a mouth and it sometimes runs before I can stop it. I emailed the pastor asking if he could clarify the rules for fasting, etc. during a homily, but what would you all do? Keep your mouth shut or say something to the person?

Be compassionate and kind. Judging is up to God. If it really bothers you, sit away from them.

It doesn’t take much to push a youth out of the church. Be thankful that they are there. Allow them to feel God’s love and compassion through you.

Kindness breads kindness. Anger breads anger. If you approach them in an angry disrespectful tone; guaranteed you’ll get it back and you may be responsible for a fallen away soul when they don’t want to come back to church b/c of that “old biddy”. That’s what we are to them

What do you think Jesus would do in this situation?

 

[DJgang]

I sat behind a couple of boys who had to be in 5th or 6th grade who were both playing with electronic, hand-held Game Boys. One of them accidently hit the volume button and the thing made noise. The parents shushed them, and they went on playing - until communion when they went forward and received, then returned to their seats and continued playing. I was just heartsick.

The parents shushed them! Lord have mercy!

If that had been my boys, I would have taken the game boy, hit them over the head and thrown the thing out the window on the way home. I’m serious!

That is just horrible.

 

[happymommy]

A couple of years ago my husband and I sat next to a lady and her son. I would say he was between 10 and 12. He played a hand held video game the whole way through Mass.

 

[barb_finnegan]

How very sad to read these posts…

I remember a long time ago my family and I went to a Christmas Eve Midnight Mass in the basement of the church (‘church hall’). There were a couple of teenage boys in the back, and I could hear them talking…about getting BEER afterwards!

 

[Lux_et_Tenebrae]

Be compassionate and kind. Judging is up to God. If it really bothers you, sit away from them.

Judging may be up to God, but we are called to instruct the ignorant.

It doesn’t take much to push a youth out of the church.

What about a stressed out adult? Gameboys???

Be thankful that they are there. Allow them to feel God’s love and compassion through you.

No, I am not thankful the gameboys are there, and besides the disrespect, it isn’t right to subject other worshipers to the distractions & annoyances.

Kindness breads kindness. Anger breads anger. If you approach them in an angry disrespectful tone; guaranteed you’ll get it back and you may be responsible for a fallen away soul when they don’t want to come back to church b/c of that “old biddy”. That’s what we are to them

Nothing wriong with quietly reminding them of whatever rudeness they are exhibiting—with a smile. This is true concern and kindness, not the enabling which so often is mistaken for kindness.

What do you think Jesus would do in this situation?

He chased out the animals and overturned the tables of the money changers.

Lux

 

[happymommy]

One Sunday I had to tell Father that one of the Alterservers was picking his nose during mass…The way our church is we have seats on the side, the serves face the one side and we were in the front pew. I kept shaking my head at him, but then noticed that other people were looking at me funny, so I stopped…He just kept digging away and wiping it on the inside of his robe…I had to tell Father, it was very sick to watch and very distracting too…plus I didn’t want anyone else to use that robe until it had been cleaned…Father couldn’t believe it…he was very upset…never saw that kid serving again…

 

[Whitacre_Girl]

At least they are at mass. The parents are doing something right.

We are not to judge ignorance. That’s up to God.

For all we know, these kids could be going to Confession and praying regularly. Or perhaps these kids are not taking it seriously now, but if people in the church remain kind and compassionate towards them, their warm church experiences will bring them closer to God in time.

I agree with this. Completely.

Yes, it’s irreverant to play video games in mass, as well as to eat, chew gum, talk, and listen to iPods. But these are KIDS. It’s not uncommon for teens to lose interest in mass. I confess it’s hard for me most days as a 23 year old. The music was all written in the 70’s, with the homily usually using examples of parenthood, or middle age problems. (I really don’t have a problem of the kids not calling, or home ownership…) I usually have issues finding relevance in the mass. Some days, I spend most of the time praying for an open heart, and some times all I “receive” from mass is the grace of communion. You can’t deny the mass is aimed at the older generation. But I am not just a whiner! I serve in my church (sometimes I see that building more than my hubby!) , and fight for relevance (not a huge change, just adding SOME relevance) for younger generations. I am hoping to see people from my age group on sunday…someday.

But I can say that this will NEVER happen, if people are not only making mass irrelevent to teens and young adults, but then judging them in such TERRIBLE ways when they are quickly losing interest. This is the age when people start to LEAVE because they are SO lost, and driving them away for their “irreverence” doesn’t help.

 

[happymommy]

I agree with this. Completely.

Yes, it’s irreverant to play video games in mass, as well as to eat, chew gum, talk, and listen to iPods. But these are KIDS. It’s not uncommon for teens to lose interest in mass. I confess it’s hard for me most days as a 23 year old. The music was all written in the 70’s, with the homily usually using examples of parenthood, or middle age problems. (I really don’t have a problem of the kids not calling, or home ownership…) I usually have issues finding relevance in the mass. Some days, I spend most of the time praying for an open heart, and some times all I “receive” from mass is the grace of communion. You can’t deny the mass is aimed at the older generation. But I am not just a whiner! I serve in my church (sometimes I see that building more than my hubby!) , and fight for relevance (not a huge change, just adding SOME relevance) for younger generations. I am hoping to see people from my age group on sunday…someday.

But I can say that this will NEVER happen, if people are not only making mass irrelevent to teens and young adults, but then judging them in such TERRIBLE ways when they are quickly losing interest. This is the age when people start to LEAVE because they are SO lost, and driving them away for their “irreverence” doesn’t help.

I’m not sure where you go to church, but our mass is not for older people…it’s not for any age group…and we are not judging anyone…it’s wrong…they are teens, not small children. they should know better and that is it! They will leave the church because their parents have not made it an important part of their lives, not because someone corrects their disrespectful behavior…

 

[barb_finnegan]

Judging may be up to God, but we are called to instruct the ignorant.

What about a stressed out adult? Gameboys???

No, I am not thankful the gameboys are there, and besides the disrespect, it isn’t right to subject other worshipers to the distractions & annoyances.

Nothing wriong with quietly reminding them of whatever rudeness they are exhibiting—with a smile. This is true concern and kindness, not the enabling which so often is mistaken for kindness.
He chased out the animals and overturned the tables of the money changers.

Lux

I agree on ALL ACCOUNTS!

 

[FickleFreckled]

Serap,
I wouldn’t approach them in an angry way at all; I wasn’t angry, just flabbergasted. We’ve lost a lot of kids lately - most of them actually - because the contemporary LifeTeen Masses stopped. I’d hate to lose more. This was really a mom issue, anyway. If mom’s attitude had been different, theirs would be, too. What do I think Jesus would do? I think He’d say “If you invite your friends for a beautiful dinner it took you all day to prepare, and they fill up on their own food right in front of you so they can’t enjoy the dinner, would you be respected or disrespected? Do you understand what Communion is? It’s Me. I want you to respect My house and the Gift I’m giving you of My Body and Blood.”

 

[happymommy]

Serap,
I wouldn’t approach them in an angry way at all; I wasn’t angry, just flabbergasted. We’ve lost a lot of kids lately - most of them actually - because the contemporary LifeTeen Masses stopped. I’d hate to lose more. This was really a mom issue, anyway. If mom’s attitude had been different, theirs would be, too. What do I think Jesus would do? I think He’d say “If you invite your friends for a beautiful dinner it took you all day to prepare, and they fill up on their own food right in front of you so they can’t enjoy the dinner, would you be respected or disrespected? Do you understand what Communion is? It’s Me. I want you to respect My house and the Gift I’m giving you of My Body and Blood.”

That’s right! Jesus is asking for one hour a week.ONE HOUR. For us to come to His house and show Him respect and be with Him. I don’t think that is too much to ask of anyone…and these teens having snacks and playing games are just being disrespectful and shame on the parents for letting it happen. They are doing a terrible diservice to their children and their parish.

 

[RitaM]

One big problem I think is that kids (and adults) are accustomed to being entertained all the time. They are also unaccustomed to being required to obey their parents unconditionally at home, so they don’t do it in church either. My children moan and groan about going to Mass, they say it’s boring, and they don’t participate either verbally or posturally. However, they are not allowed to bring crayons, snacks, toys, etc. None of them over the age of 2 has ever had a drink or cheerios in the church. If they’re bored, too bad! They could sing or participate if they need something to do. Otherwise, they have to sit quietly, next to me, and if they are bad they will be punished at home. I manage 4 children age 9 and under, and the only disruptive one is the 2 year old, who is just now learning to whisper. Honestly, I get bored sometimes, too, but it’s not about my entertainment and enjoyment.

 

[ericka1701]

It distresses me to see such abuses towards the Eucharist. However, I am not a cradle Catholic (in fact, I’ve only officially been Catholic for less than a year), and I think that it is because I wasn’t raised Catholic that I do have a greater appreciation and reverence towards Mass. I think it’s a problem of young ones taking it for granted and going through the motions, but not really understanding the significance behind Mass.

Also, I have a cousin who comes to church dressed… um, not the most modestly. But she volunteers quite a few hours during the week, and she is there most Sundays. According to her, she also attends confession regularly (and I really have no reason to doubt her… just because I don’t see it myself doesn’t mean that it isn’t in fact true). I do pray that she will be overcome with modesty (that’s the reason why I started covering up, not just at church but in life) and rethink the wardrobe, but I am simply thrilled she is going to church and is trying to do the right thing. That may be her splinter… I’m generally too worried about my own logs to “browbeat” anyone, unless it’s a gross disrespect.

God Bless,
Ericka

 

[Serap]

That’s right! Jesus is asking for one hour a week.ONE HOUR. For us to come to His house and show Him respect and be with Him. I don’t think that is too much to ask of anyone…and these teens having snacks and playing games are just being disrespectful and shame on the parents for letting it happen. They are doing a terrible diservice to their children and their parish.

I agree, but with reservation. I was badly parented myself and I didn’t know how to act because I was never taught. These teenagers are acting in ignorance and if they are approached, it would need to be with great care and compassion.

I personally wouldn’t approach them at all. I would just sit away from them.

Jesus threw tables, yes, but he directed his anger at adults (for that time), not youths. These teenagers with Gameboys are kids. They do not have the ability to understand fully yet.

They need compassion and understanding. I still stand firm in saying that they need our kindness. If you have a good relationship with them and they consider you a friend, saying something would be great. If you are a stranger to them, they won’t appreciate you saying something.

It’s really a tough situation. Teenagers need to be there. Give them a chance to grow up and realize for themselves.

Just my opinion…I realize it’s not a popular one on this thread

 

[phil8888]

My question is will babies and children starve to death if they don’t eat for one hour? I’ve seen parents give food to their children even when they don’t ask for it. In fact, they practically put it in their mouth. C’mon. They have to learn about the Eucharistic fast.

 

[teachccd]

What do you think Jesus would do in this situation?

Do you mean if the Apostles started playing cards during the Last Supper?

 

[teachccd]

I agree with this. Completely.

Yes, it’s irreverant to play video games in mass, as well as to eat, chew gum, talk, and listen to iPods. But these are KIDS. It’s not uncommon for teens to lose interest in mass. I confess it’s hard for me most days as a 23 year old. The music was all written in the 70’s, with the homily usually using examples of parenthood, or middle age problems. (I really don’t have a problem of the kids not calling, or home ownership…) I usually have issues finding relevance in the mass. Some days, I spend most of the time praying for an open heart, and some times all I “receive” from mass is the grace of communion. You can’t deny the mass is aimed at the older generation. But I am not just a whiner! I serve in my church (sometimes I see that building more than my hubby!) , and fight for relevance (not a huge change, just adding SOME relevance) for younger generations. I am hoping to see people from my age group on sunday…someday.

But I can say that this will NEVER happen, if people are not only making mass irrelevent to teens and young adults, but then judging them in such TERRIBLE ways when they are quickly losing interest. This is the age when people start to LEAVE because they are SO lost, and driving them away for their “irreverence” doesn’t help.

I have children in my seventh grade religion class who know that the Mass is owed reverence. You are present at the foot of the Cross. This is what the Church teaches. If nothing else just know that you wouldn’t have played a video game at the crucifixion.

Mass is not a source of entertainment. It is up to the adults to teach their kids. It is this rampant lack of catechesis that allows for people to think that they must be amused at Mass. Mass is the realization that we are with our God who sent His Son to die for us. Is that not reason alone to sit still and pray in thanksgiving? And yes, as an instructor to many grade levels I know that little ones can grasp this concept. Not to say that they won’t slip up but, for crying out loud, at least have the examples set by the adults…teachccd

 

[teachccd]

I’m not sure where you go to church, but our mass is not for older people…it’s not for any age group…and we are not judging anyone…it’s wrong…they are teens, not small children. they should know better and that is it! They will leave the church because their parents have not made it an important part of their lives, not because someone corrects their disrespectful behavior…

Absolutely…

 

[teachccd]

That’s right! Jesus is asking for one hour a week.ONE HOUR. For us to come to His house and show Him respect and be with Him. I don’t think that is too much to ask of anyone…and these teens having snacks and playing games are just being disrespectful and shame on the parents for letting it happen. They are doing a terrible diservice to their children and their parish.

AMEN!!!

 

[teachccd]

One big problem I think is that kids (and adults) are accustomed to being entertained all the time. They are also unaccustomed to being required to obey their parents unconditionally at home, so they don’t do it in church either. My children moan and groan about going to Mass, they say it’s boring, and they don’t participate either verbally or posturally. However, they are not allowed to bring crayons, snacks, toys, etc. None of them over the age of 2 has ever had a drink or cheerios in the church. If they’re bored, too bad! They could sing or participate if they need something to do. Otherwise, they have to sit quietly, next to me, and if they are bad they will be punished at home. I manage 4 children age 9 and under, and the only disruptive one is the 2 year old, who is just now learning to whisper. Honestly, I get bored sometimes, too, but it’s not about my entertainment and enjoyment.

Boy, did you ever hit the nail on the head!! And if your children were in my class they would stand out as those others who have parents like yourself…teachccd