Thought of lapsing. mortal sin?

[Melkite_Sword]

I had a passing thought of lapsing back into my old ways. This was very tempting and i found myself actually wanting to. I then realised what I was thinking was wrong. Is this a mortal sin?
(p.s I’m very scrupulous and my anxiety was actually what caused me to have that thought in the first place)

thanks

 

[Bookcat]

(from previous posts of mine)

Regarding thoughts

while Jesus makes it clear that one can sin in ones thoughts…just cause some lustful thought happens does not mean that one sinned…

(and one can have a sufficiently good reason to think about sexual matters…for instance studying moral theology…but care must be taken to avoid things that would be a problem…but that is another question)

What should we do with* unwanted* sexual thoughts or other bad thoughts…thoughts against God etc? Those pesky temptations that can come …even though we are not seeking them etc…

(there are of course some things we should avoid that cause them…near occassions…but often they come uninvited)

First…Relax. Do not worry.

Now are they mortal sins?

For a mortal sin one needs a grave matter …full knowledge AND deliberate consent!!!

A. If you do not want the thought…it the thought displeases you: it can be a sign actually that you did not give consent or do not give full consent.

B. Even if you felt a temptation for the thought – and were drawn to it —but rejected it and maybe even turned to God : again a sign not full consent.

C. But what if one has a tempting thought --say of a sexual nature and even hesitated for a moment…but then rejected it for one did not want to sin? : it can be partial consent perhaps (and thus a venial sin)-- or it may be no sin at all but rather a strong temptation that drew you but then you saw what was happening and turned away.

D. A temptation can even be very strong or the thoughts very often – but this does NOT mean one has consented! so worry not…even it they go on for a long time…

remember --for it to be mortal there must be that deliberate consent!

What to do? on the spiritual side–relax first of all and remember the above.

Next – know that the more one fears the thoughts the more likely they are to come… or said another way --the more a person seeks to avoid the thoughts the more likely he will have a problem with them. (but do not worry about this either!)

for example: for the next 10 seconds try NOT to think of an apple.

tick tock …

tick tock…

Ok what did you think of? Most likely an apple.

So it is best to ignore them and just not consent and then turn your attention to some other good thing…for instance whatever you are doing. Simply do not consent and move on. and do not worry

another point – thoughts can just happen --they are the stuff with which we think…it is up to us to consent and take them further or not. and just because they are REAL VIVID and almost “think themselves” does not mean per se that one has given ANY consent.

they can be annoying…but need cause no actual harm …

(Now difficulties with thoughts can happen to anyone…and has for centuries…nothing new!..but I will note too that “some” have a condition known as OCD (I knew someone with this once…it was a painful experience)…and thus should seek further professional help to work at overcoming it and to live a more peaceful life)

---

Another help…is the distinction between “first thoughts and emotions” (as Baur calls em) what they call the prima of the prima…“the first of the first” (as one of my Professors called em…he was a Dominican)…these are involuntary things that just come up…such are not sins. They can tempt one of course to sin…or one can then proceed to some sin…but they are the stuff of the mind and emotions which “happen to one” …and really the are opportunities for growing in virtue etc as well…

How to deal with these? First of relax…don’t scruple…don’t fear them…to try to swat them all as the come…just simply turn to other things…or the thing you are doing…or to God…(of course do not consent)…but if you are too defensive against them…they may get worse actually…and confuse you more…instead turn to God or again other good things…accept that hey…somethings wild thoughts will come to you…

(and these can happen to all of us by the way…)

There is a story from the desert of the early Centuries of the Church where a younger hermit when to an older one with the problems of thoughts happening to him all the time…the older hermit told him to go outside open his cloak and catch the wind.

The younger hermit said such is not possible…

the older hermit replied --neither is it possible to stop all the thoughts that can come to you…your choice is to say “yes” or “no”.

So relax about “unwanted thoughts”…sometimes they just come…you know like unwanted phone calls from politicitians and salepersons etc…but you can always say “no thank you” or just ignore the call and go about your business

 

[Bookcat]

(again from other posts…but may be helpful in your judging things)

emember too:

The classic stages of temptation when we are tempted are:

1. Suggestion (the evil is proposed to us in some way) this can be quite attractive …can be thoughts that happen, ideas etc.
2. Pleasure (a kind of automatic pleasure can happen from the suggestion) this pleasure can just happen…one is not “trying to have it” not wanting it…this is just a reaction.

3…then one either consents or does not consent.

Now it can often happen that one begins to “partially consent” but then rejects it and thus does not give full consent.

When one is tempted…

Some signs that one lacked consent or gave only “partial consent”:

If even though there was some instinctive pleasure …we do not want it…we are unhappy or horrified about the evil…or struggle to not be overcome …we turn to God in Prayer --these are some signs of no consent (if of course we stay in this stage…and do not later consent)

(For example some thoughts come out of the blue just cause one happened to see an attractive person…and one does not want the thoughts but turns to God in Prayer or is horrified by them and turns to something else etc…no matter how much they come back…if one does not consent at all…there is no sin…but rather possibly growth in virtues)

If one hesitates for a moment but then does not want to sin and so rejects it and does not give full consent (thus a fault against prudence)

If one resists but the resistance is half hearted…one does resist but it is weak or slow…but in the end one rejects it…such would seem to be half consent and thus venial

(Based on A Tanquery… he bases things on S. Augustine…but much of this is simply repeated in various places…for it is the basics in judging such)

 

[baltobetsy]

Temptations are not sins. Every time you resist a temptation like this you please God very much. Rest easy. And get some help for your scrupulosity. Start with the priest in confession.

 

[losh14]

I had a passing thought of lapsing back into my old ways. This was very tempting and i found myself actually wanting to. I then realised what I was thinking was wrong. Is this a mortal sin?

It is the near occasion of mortal sin and you have seen it and fought it. If you ever read the Screwtape Letters (C.S. Lewis) there’s a part where Wormwood, the fledgling novice demon, is toying with and trying to pull a young Christian away from faith piece by piece. But the Christian, at the moment of the end of his life during the Nazi bombing of London, sees Wormwood for what he is and rejects him utterly. Pray for that continued clarity, and when you see the Evil One near you, recall Jesus and declare “vade retro satanas!”, “Get behind me, Satan!”

You know how this war ends - you know Christ has already won. Remember the side you are on and fight, fight, fight.

I’m fighting, perhaps the exact same, habitual sin as well. I have curtailed behaviors that lead to it, even if those behaviors are morally neutral in themselves, and when I’m “running hot” so to speak, I need to take a physical measure to stop that temptation from overwhelming me. That could mean taking a good whiff of vinegar, or putting on a Christopher West CD, or just going to bed. Previously I had even lashed myself with a leather belt across the back, but I don’t recommend that. Pinching might suffice if you really need it. Most often I find myself tempted due to stress, so I’ve taken to running or doing pushups, anything to vent that frustration physically so the energy of it goes elsewhere, and an emotion without energy becomes just a passing thought.

I’ll pray for you, my Melkite brother.

 

[JRKH]

I had a passing thought of lapsing back into my old ways. This was very tempting and i found myself actually wanting to. I then realised what I was thinking was wrong. Is this a mortal sin?
(p.s I’m very scrupulous and my anxiety was actually what caused me to have that thought in the first place)

thanks

I give the same advice always…We are not qualified to answer. If there is concern, speak to your confessor.

Peace
James

 

[Waiting]

I had a passing thought of lapsing back into my old ways. This was very tempting and i found myself actually wanting to. I then realised what I was thinking was wrong. Is this a mortal sin?
(p.s I’m very scrupulous and my anxiety was actually what caused me to have that thought in the first place)

thanks

Just picturing the Crucifix and a grinning, evil demon is usually enough to jar me back to my senses. Would I really choose to please that hideous devil when Jesus went to such suffering to give me a chance at real happiness?