Thoughts and advice, young people on social media

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Amen!! I just downloaded iPetia and was able to read DR bible while traveling today 🙂
 
Amen!! seems I have heard this before from family member who went from computer programming and web design to quitting ALL social media, cancelled all their accounts and said “if people only knew the dangers…”
 
Hi Irishmom 2! I have been on CAF since , well about 2012. somehow when the new site was developed I didn’t know how to save all previous posts.
 
In all seriousness…a lot of us have family scattered in many different places, or friends that we no longer live close to. That’s one thing I appreciate about social media - it’s enabled me to keep up a relationship with many people even as life and jobs take us to different locations.

Right now I pretty much live in the middle of nowhere and can’t afford to move. The alternative to social media isn’t getting to know people in real life so much as sitting around by myself a lot.
 
I agree, I also live in rural area. there are positives to social media
 
I decided to make a special list for her and would include other family. that is as far as I’ve gone. I’ve not accepted her request at this writing. I made such a stink when she was allowed 2 yrs ago…not a stink but I said more than I probably should have haha
so I’ve been looking for things I would post in this list, hoping exposure to these would be beneficial . thx!
 
Can you accept her friend request but also phone her to meet up some times and go somewhere or go shopping etc so that way the communication isn’t solely through social media but also face to face?
 
I don’t know what this list is you are making is about. I don’t understand why you don’t just accept her request. It is now two years later after whatever stink you made previously, and she is asking. She is family. You appear to making this into some kind of statement and in doing so, you are making some kind of point at her expense. It’s not a big deal. Just accept.
 
Irishmom2 said:
I don’t know what this list is you are making is about. I don’t understand why you don’t just accept her request. It is now two years later after whatever stink you made previously, and she is asking. She is family. You appear to making this into some kind of statement and in doing so, you are making some kind of point at her expense. It’s not a big deal. Just accept.
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I agree with this post.

A young teenager, especially a girl, is very conscious of “rejection”–it’s the worst thing that can happen to her! (Actually, pretty much everything is the worst thing that can happen to her–that’s the way younger teens are.)

So if you reject her request, you will be seen by her as “rejecting her,” and she will be upset over it.

I’m not on Facebook, but my husband has been since the beginning. He uses it mainly to keep in touch with family, friends, and a few common-interest groups that no longer use the old-fashioned “forum” to communicate (does anyone else besides me feel like a dinosaur here on CAF?).

Recently our nephew, who has been very troubled all of his life (autism, depression, social issues, family conflicts, etc.) joined Facebook, and it’s been a very good thing for him so far because all the family members who are on Facebook have friended him, and the number of people who communicate with him has increased his confidence. He actually posts some very nice things (although he also posts a lot of stuff about his latest gaming exploits!).
 
we all live within 2 miles. I am concerned any young person would seek fb as a means of forming their self worth or their identity. that is simply not the truth. we are not what social media says we are.

the reasoning for creating a list, and I do use lists so what I post goes to certain people I choose to share it with. ie: one is specifically Catholic, another family, etc

I appreciate this dialog as it is helpful for me sorting thru the best thing to do. Gracias!


Virus-free. www.avg.com
 
LoveMercyGrace said:
we all live within 2 miles. I am concerned any young person would seek fb as a means of forming their self worth or their identity. that is simply not the truth. we are not what social media says we are.
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You don’t get it because you are not of the current generation of teenagers. EVERY generation of teenagers has something that defines their generation, and throughout history, the adults “don’t get it.”

You said “we are not what social media says we are.” What, exactly, does social media say we are?" I have no idea what you’re talking about. Social media is just that–a media for being social, i.e., communicating with others. Like the telephone. Or handwritten letters. Or typed letters. Or postcards. Or the telegraph. Or tin cans.

It’s a tool that we can use to communicate.

And just as these other media can get nasty and upsetting (break the string on that tin can communication setup!), social media (online) can get nasty, too. Very nasty, as people can be anonymous and that gives the nerve to say things that they would never say in person, on the phone, or in a letter.

That’s one good thing about having RELATIVES get involved on the social media. You are not some stranger from the other side of the world–you are the teen’s dear relative, someone that she sees in person. She knows what your life is like, and she can filter anything you say online through that knowledge.

E.g., if you advise her to spend more time outdoors instead of cooped up in a room with a computer, and she knows that you have the biggest garden in the neighborhood, and keep chickens, and do 5K walks every weekend for worthy causes, and are active in your local park service–she’ll understand why you are telling her to be outside! (This is just an example–for all I know, you might be in a wheelchair and housebound.)

As a relative, you might be able to help her deal with anything nasty that comes across her social media platform. If you aren’t there, you won’t even know that the nasty thing is happening.

We make social media–it doesn’t make us.
 
LoveMercyGrace said:
I am concerned any young person would seek fb as a means of forming their self worth or their identity. that is simply not the truth. we are not what social media says we are.
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Not understanding this question.

Some people lie on Social Media. That does not mean that I lie on Social Media. My Social Media “stuff” is very much who I am on the phone, in my office, in my kitchen, wherever.

Expect the best from your family members, don’t expect them to begin to lie just because they have Facebook
 
My husband does something like this. He blocks certain extremely liberal posters so that he doesn’t have to read their upsetting rants. But he keeps them as “friends” rather than unfriending them.

Interestingly, most of the people that he has blocked but kept as friends HAVE unfriended him. They apparently haven’t figured out that people who disagree with them can still be friends.

I don’t think my husband is doing anything “wrong” to block their posts. It’s for his own peace of mind. We know that many people out there are speaking evil and thinking that it’s good. He doesn’t need to see his friends doing this, and he does not have the time to get into an online debate. He has done this in the past, with the result mentioned above–his “friends” unfriend him when they can’t convince him that they are right and he’s wrong.

I’m sure this will happen with the teenager that is the subject of this thread–people she thought liked her will cut her off. This happens in real life as well as online, and it’s just part of growing up in the real world. If she is having trouble coping with it, at least a kind relative will also be online to help her through the rejection.
 
TheLittleLady said:
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Irishmom2:
I don’t know what this list is you are making is about.
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On Facebook, you can group your friends into categories and limit what each can see of your posts.
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Thanks, I guess you figured out who doesn’t have Facebook in this post! ☺️
 
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