Thoughts and Help with Conversion

[mathuex08]

Hello!

I didn’t see a specific forum about converting so I thought I’d start a new thread. I have a lot of questions and would like some feedback on my thoughts! I know I got a little long-winded but I appreciate you bearing with me.

I honestly didn’t know one had to convert in order to be a member of The Catholic church. I was raised Baptist and have very little religious education. My mother became religious later in life, but most of her interest was purely social-- I live in the South and attending a community church regularly is often necessary for social engagement.

I’ve always believed in God, but more from a deist standpoint. I do enjoy studying and opening myself to new experiences however, so I’ve attended a number of churches just to see differences in the way people worship.

I teach, and over the course of the past two years, I’ve taught English as a second language to migrant and immigrant workers. Churches volunteer space quite often for these classes, and I always try to attend one service and make a donation at offering in respect for their hospitality. I’ve been to Methodist churches, Episcopal churches, Presbyterian—You name it I’ve been there.

It wasn’t until recently that I attended a Catholic Church though, and I found it very strange.

Personally, I prefer a church that is more Orthodox. The Episcopal churches I’ve attended have always seemed to me the ‘right’ way worship should be performed, but I suppose this is a matter of opinion.

The Catholic Church I attended was similar to the Episcopal, of course, but still very, very different.

During my first Mass, I felt something that I’d never felt in church. I go to observe and give thanks to the parishioners, as well as respect to the God who inspires them to donate their space to my cause. I participate, but usually in a way that leaves me intellectually stimulated yet…detached would be a good word I suppose.

But I didn’t feel detached during Mass, I felt driven to participate. It was a pleasure to chant and pray with the other members of the church and I left with the experience I’d felt something Holy.

I began personal prayer afterwards. As I said before, the deist view of God has always seemed the way to go up to this point in my life. But I had prayed before-- especially in times of great need.

Dare I say it bothered me when I started receiving answers? I’ve feel like God has influenced me before, but I can’t specifically say it was THE God-- not the Father and member of the Holy Trinity. Just God the force who moves very much like fate.
And I still feel fate. Especially like I was brought to this church to feel this feeling for a reason. I’ve been praying more now, talking closely with God through a more rigorous, structured sort of prayer that I haven’t really used before. It feels wonderful to be in his presence and worship with such timeless zeal.

But while I feel this pull to the church, I also have such doubt. I don’t know any other Catholics and I am intimidated by joining an organization, the likes of which I’ve never belonged to. I’ve talked with parishioners after Mass and they’re all very friendly but I am still worried I may not be accepted.

I have lived a life of secular hedonism for many, many years. I drink, swear, fornicate (excessively), and commit other sins the church regularly preaches against. Most of my friends are very, very secular, or at the least, Protestant (as I mentioned, I live in the South) and I am not sure if I’ll receive their support if I convert. I also worry that the members of my local Parish will not accept someone who has lived in such a state of unapologetic sin, even if he is repentatant and begins to live a chaster, holy life.

So I don’t know where to go from here and I need advice. The answer from God seems very clear to me. But I can’t shake this damned secular idea that I’m deluding myself. I’ve been praying a lot and attending Mass about twice a week. Worship has yet to fail to provide me with a rush of feeling that surpasses any drink or sexual experience I have had. I’ve also been very good at controlling these sins because I feel this is pleasing to God and will make receiving Holy Communion even better. Yet I still feel insecure.
I have checked with the parish about RCIA classes and they don’t start for another two months. I’ve also been reading Holy Scripture and the Catechism, but while I enjoy the knowledge they provide I still feel such doubt.

Any guidance from practicing Catholics or any other people who have had similar experiences are greatly appreciated.

 

[Della]

Hello!

I’ve always believed in God, but more from a deist standpoint. I do enjoy studying and opening myself to new experiences however, so I’ve attended a number of churches just to see differences in the way people worship…
I’ve been to Methodist churches, Episcopal churches, Presbyterian—You name it I’ve been there.

It wasn’t until recently that I attended a Catholic Church though, and I found it very strange.

Personally, I prefer a church that is more Orthodox. The Episcopal churches I’ve attended have always seemed to me the ‘right’ way worship should be performed, but I suppose this is a matter of opinion.

The Catholic Church I attended was similar to the Episcopal, of course, but still very, very different. (Edited for length)

It seems you have been on a real journey of discovery. God uses many things to show himself to us, especially when we are open to him. Many of us have made our own journeys to the point you are at now. My background is just as complicated, although a bit different from yours. I too came to the place in which I found the Catholic Church very, very different, and for good reason. It is very, very different.

During my first Mass, I felt something that I’d never felt in church. I go to observe and give thanks to the parishioners, as well as respect to the God who inspires them to donate their space to my cause. I participate, but usually in a way that leaves me intellectually stimulated yet…detached would be a good word I suppose.

But I didn’t feel detached during Mass, I felt driven to participate. It was a pleasure to chant and pray with the other members of the church and I left with the experience I’d felt something Holy.

What you experienced was being in the Real Presence of Christ. The Catholic Church (and the Orthodox) have the Holy Eucharist, in which the bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Christ. IOW, Jesus is really and truly present under the forms of bread and wine. This is the center of our faith. Every Catholic church has a tabernacle with reserved consecrated hosts. It is Christ himself you experienced.

I began personal prayer afterwards. As I said before, the deist view of God has always seemed the way to go up to this point in my life. But I had prayed before-- especially in times of great need.

Dare I say it bothered me when I started receiving answers? I’ve feel like God has influenced me before, but I can’t specifically say it was THE God-- not the Father and member of the Holy Trinity. Just God the force who moves very much like fate.
And I still feel fate. Especially like I was brought to this church to feel this feeling for a reason. I’ve been praying more now, talking closely with God through a more rigorous, structured sort of prayer that I haven’t really used before. It feels wonderful to be in his presence and worship with such timeless zeal.

It’s always a shock when we actually experience God answering our prayers. It never gets old. All of the great Saints who have written about spirituality have told us about it. For this aspect of spiritual life you will want to read St. Francis de Sales, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Therese of Lisieux, St. Ignatius of Loyola.

But while I feel this pull to the church, I also have such doubt. I don’t know any other Catholics and I am intimidated by joining an organization, the likes of which I’ve never belonged to. I’ve talked with parishioners after Mass and they’re all very friendly but I am still worried I may not be accepted.

I have lived a life of secular hedonism for many, many years. I drink, swear, fornicate (excessively), and commit other sins the church regularly preaches against. Most of my friends are very, very secular, or at the least, Protestant (as I mentioned, I live in the South) and I am not sure if I’ll receive their support if I convert. I also worry that the members of my local Parish will not accept someone who has lived in such a state of unapologetic sin, even if he is repentatant and begins to live a chaster, holy life.

You will be in good company. One of our greatest saints, and a doctor of the Church also led a sinner’s life before his conversion–St. Augustine. I think you would identify with him. I also recommend his writings for the doubt part of your struggles, as well as a more modern author who you may have heard of, G. K. Chesterton. His “Orthodoxy” and “The Everlasting Man” are just the ticket.

So I don’t know where to go from here and I need advice. The answer from God seems very clear to me. But I can’t shake this damned secular idea that I’m deluding myself. I’ve been praying a lot and attending Mass about twice a week. Worship has yet to fail to provide me with a rush of feeling that surpasses any drink or sexual experience I have had. I’ve also been very good at controlling these sins because I feel this is pleasing to God and will make receiving Holy Communion even better. Yet I still feel insecure.
I have checked with the parish about RCIA classes and they don’t start for another two months. I’ve also been reading Holy Scripture and the Catechism, but while I enjoy the knowledge they provide I still feel such doubt.

Any guidance from practicing Catholics or any other people who have had similar experiences are greatly appreciated.

You can always talk to the parish priest. Call and make an appointment with him to talk over your journey, your doubts, your needs. He will be quite happy to help you–to get you started prior to going through RCIA. Also, you can begin reading some of the authors I’ve recommended. I’m sure others will have more advice to give, but my poor words are a start for you. Be assured I will be keeping you in my prayers. God bless you.

 

[BeeCatholic]

Do you really need your friend’s support for your conversion? I mean, if you are drinking, swearing, fornicating, etc, they are apparently supporting you in sinning. But God is talking to you and wants you to convert and shed your sinning ways.

Me, I would much rather have God on my side instead of drinking buddies. And you said yourself that you get a “rush of feeling” that surpasses all else.

As to these sins, you know that when you go to your first confession they will be erased, right?

You will, with a little effort, make new friends through the Church. And who knows, by converting you may become a healthy role model for your current friends.

I will pray for you. Please go visit a priest.

 

[mathuex08]

I appreciate your feedback and look forward to more from you two and other people.

I especially appreciate the St. Augustine reference. “Give me chastity and continence…but not yet,” is a favorite quote of mine.

But on that note, I’ll get to the root of some of the issues I’m having.

Firstly, how can I give up my friends? I can give up sins with the help of Christ (I have no doubt it was his presence I felt at Mass) but these people have loved and supported me for years. I feel like I’ve led a meaningful life, full of service to my community without the church up until this point. So have these people. Their sins of lust, excess and secularism may give them issue, but it certainly doesn’t make them worse people than the many that I have seen do unpardonable evil and proclaim themselves Christian.

So perhaps this is my first hurdle to cross. I can try to keep my-self morally upright, but that doesn’t mean I want to lose my friends or become some insanely uptight weirdo. Regardless of my friends’ faults, I can’t subtract myself from sin completely. It’s unavoidable regardless of where I am in the world. We’re ALL imperfect, correct?
I can only hope that by abstaining myself, I could lead by example. I’ll be perfectly honest: I am probably the worst of them in sinning, especially when it comes to surrendering to lust. I refuse to be so self-righteous so that I say to them “No I can’t hang out with you anymore! I’m CATHOLIC now.”
That’s just silly, and I can’t see the benefits to anyone, even (especially?) to God.

But is this what the parishioners at my church will want me to do? I plan to spend time getting to know them, definitely. Even before experiencing the joy that Christ brings to mass, I stayed active in community service and plan to continue to do so. I simply wish to do more in his name so that He and I may walk closer together. I also have no qualms about meeting new people.
Again, I appreciate the reading suggestions. Studying the saints more will definitely be beneficial. I’ll also schedule an appointment to talk to a priest, but I think I’m afraid. Mainly because I feel I’ll get a suggestion like the one I just discussed above.

 

[adv1sor]

I converted to Catholicism a few years ago myself, though my journey wasn’t as wide spread as yours, I too tried a few different churches.

Others with better words than mine have answered your questions. Talk to the Priest. Enroll in RCIA.

But just let me warn you now. While you already know that God is real you may not yet understand that the devil is also real. What you are doing now and what you are about to do angers the devil greatly. He will try to discourage and to stop you from completing your Conversion. Don’t let him win. You are right to avoid sin. But if you do sin again, don’t think that you’ve lost. The devil will tell you that you’ve lost, but God’s love is always there for us. We can always return to His love.

You don’t have to give up your friends and you shouldn’t do so. But there are probably some things you used to do with your friends that you know you shouldn’t do any more. So, don’t give up your friends, just stop doing those things that you know are wrong. Don’t judge your friends, just let them know that those things are not for you anymore. If they are really your friends they will understand and maybe, down the road, they will see your example and change themselves.

I’ve talked with parishioners after Mass and they’re all very friendly but I am still worried I may not be accepted.

You have already been accepted by the most important person at that Church. Welcome home brother, welcome home.

 

[mathuex08]

You have already been accepted by the most important person at that Church. Welcome home brother, welcome home.

This is awesome. Thanks so much for your reply

 

[BeeCatholic]

You don’t have to give up your friends. I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I was suggesting. I am saying that regardless of who your friends are, you have to rise above the “need” for sin. Pray about it. Confess it. Understand that it is satan who brings you to sin. But realize that, if the temptation is still too much when you are around your friends, you need to make some tough choices. It may be that you can suggest that you all try something different, or meet in a different place. That change in atmosphere may be all you need. But if not, be prepared to choose God over sin and rejoice in that choice.

My very best friend, from the time we were 4 years old, is a lesbian. I do not approve of her living arrangements. But I do love her and we have some great conversations about other things, and many views in common. Probably to our benefit, we live very far apart and mostly talk by email. Love the sinner, not the sin.

Keep introducing yourself at church. There will be people who are standoffish. That’s their problem, not yours. But there will also be people who will embrace you and love to help you with your journey if you give them a chance.

BTW, if you contact a priest and you don’t hit it off at first, stick it out or find another one.

Still praying for you!

 

[Della]

adv1sor has the right of it–you don’t have to give up everything in your life that you had/did before. Catholicism isn’t like that. We believe that God builds on nature, not negates nature–he uses nature to impart his grace to us. It’s why Jesus established sacraments that use physical things, such as water, oil, laying on of hands, etc. We believe the Incarnation redeemed nature not destroyed it.

Everything you have contributed and the friendships you’ve built over the years are good things. Sin is what destroys our lives, not virtue. Virtue isn’t being holy-than-thou, it’s living as God wants us to live so we can be the best people possible–remade in the image of Christ, the Second Adam. Adam brought sin into the world, and Christ removed it. We are reborn into Christ, you see.

I strongly urge you to read Chesterton. He was an ordinary person in that he wasn’t a priest or a hermit or a religious of any kind. He was a journalist and a convert to the Church. His writings really helped me understand the Catholic world view and the practical aspects of living as a Catholic. His Father Brown series is a must, as well.

I encourage you not to anticipate difficulties. So many people think they know what Catholicism is and what will be expected of them who actually don’t because there is so much misinformation out there. Hopefully, we can allay some of your fears, while still challenging you to seek God in truth and purity of intention. That’s all you need, really. The Holy Spirit will guide you step by step. God never gives us more to take in than we can at any given time. So, be at peace and let God lead you. God bless!

 

[Monica4316]

Hi I think that what you felt at the Catholic church was the Eucharist! I’m a convert also and I used to attend a Protestant church… but I never felt there the way I do at Mass. Christ is really present in the Tabernacle the Mass also gives us many graces (like how you described wanting to pray, etc)

In my opinion, don’t worry at all about being accepted or not accepted! People join the Church from all walks of life and that’s not seen as an issue. It sounds like God is calling you here, and that’s what matters! Perhaps it might help you to research more about the Church, read some of the Catechism, or some websites… and maybe make an appointment with a priest Here are some resources that helped me…

scborromeo.org/ccc.htm
catholic.com/library/faith_tracts.asp
davidmacd.com/catholic/index2.htm

I became Catholic not really having many Catholic friends either… at first, I didn’t have any Catholic friends. Later on I met many great people. It’s kind of a transition and might take some time to get used to, but God really gives the grace for that.

I have lived a life of secular hedonism for many, many years. I drink, swear, fornicate (excessively), and commit other sins the church regularly preaches against. Most of my friends are very, very secular, or at the least, Protestant (as I mentioned, I live in the South) and I am not sure if I’ll receive their support if I convert. I also worry that the members of my local Parish will not accept someone who has lived in such a state of unapologetic sin, even if he is repentatant and begins to live a chaster, holy life.

Consider St Augustine and St Mary Magdalene (and many other Saints). Many people have lived similarly before your conversion. It really doesn’t matter; if you repent and start living differently. Not only does God forgive and forget all our sins at Confession, but also we shouldn’t look at each other’s past or present sins, but work out our own salvation. My past isn’t really spotless either, but it only matters how we live now, after conversion.

If you convert, you might meet some opposition from your non Christian friends, or your Protestant friends… and that can be pretty difficult. But you can still be their friend, and if they’re truly your friend they will respect your decision, even if they don’t agree with it. If you find that they are leading you into sin, - well I think it is important to follow Christ first… it’s not the best idea to give into things because other people are doing them and you’re afraid of what they’ll think. This used to happen to me when I was a new Christian, but over time God gave me more strength to follow Him. You don’t have to do the things your friends do, but you can still hang out with them and be their friend. You don’t have to reject them as people or anything like that. I still meet with my non Christian friends, many of whom live very differently than me… but we are friends and we get along well, talk about many things…

I think maybe it might help to talk to a priest, study the teachings of the Church for two months, and then try out RCIA and see what happens keep on praying!

One thing I learned from my conversion, is to take things slowly, as they come. Don’t try to rush ahead too much. If something doesn’t make sense, give it time, pray, research… if something isn’t working out with your friends, etc, again, give it time. Don’t get discouraged.

God bless!

 

[mathuex08]

Thanks so much for all the replies.

I took the advice to see a priest and we had a nice chat that lasted for about an hour today. I asked him a lot of questions about the faith and my issues and I was reassured by his answers.

The nice thing is that he didn’t pass judgement and when I brought up past sins he focused on doing future good, not condemnation for the way I’d been living.

RCIA classes start in September. Until then I’ll continue studying up. I’m glad to know there’s a forum like this one for people in the faith to turn to when they’re in need.

Thanks again!

 

[Della]

Thanks so much for all the replies.

I took the advice to see a priest and we had a nice chat that lasted for about an hour today. I asked him a lot of questions about the faith and my issues and I was reassured by his answers.

The nice thing is that he didn’t pass judgement and when I brought up past sins he focused on doing future good, not condemnation for the way I’d been living.

RCIA classes start in September. Until then I’ll continue studying up. I’m glad to know there’s a forum like this one for people in the faith to turn to when they’re in need.

Thanks again!

This is good to hear. It occurred to me that you asking about these things at this time–a couple of months before RCIA begins–was propitious. It gives you time to sort out some things and be more able to take in the things you will be learning. It may be that if you had jumped into RCIA feeling so unsettled and unsure it might have been more of a hindrance than a help, if you see what I mean. I’m always delighted when I see God working in people’s lives. It’s so encouraging when I’m going through my own difficulties. Anyway, God bless you. Please keep us updated, if you’d like to. You are in my prayers.