Hello everyone
i think everyone goes through periods of doubt. when i was becoming Catholic again after having a bout in various religions (islam, spirituality, and learning about others) it was a struggle to believe in God’s love…that He would want me back and all the rest. it was a very dark time, but there were also brilliant diamonds of clarity along the way that i clung to.
i think doubting is normal and part of the journey. there could be many reasons for the doubt, but i think the key is to keep hope always, even when it seems all is lost. I have found that in those moments there is a rush of grace where God scoops you up and holds you closer than ever. there is always hope. God is a God of hope. if He wasn’t, then why send His Son to save us from the enemy and ourselves? If there wasn’t hope, why wait for the Resurrection? That is the epitome of hope, i tend to think. the impossible (err…“impossible”?) became certainly possible. because of that hope in the Resurrection, we now have the Holy Eucharist. If Jesus had just died and that was it, it would be rather anticlimactic. God wasn’t happy to just leave us. instead, His hope was the Resurrection as a statement that He has conquered everything; an action of hope to give us the ability to hope in everything good that God wants to grant us and that is awaiting for us. Mass is not just a memorial service. The Holy Eucharist is a Sacrament of hope in a special way because it’s truly the living Jesus because He rose again from the dead. it’s where God comes to us and makes the intangible tangible. in the Eucharist is all hope…it’s the epicenter of our lives as Catholics.
anyways, sometimes we just need to wait for the little resurrections in our lives before we see a transformation in a situation of any sort. but all will be well
and if we didn’t have doubts, we would be losing an opportunity to become stronger in our faith by learning what the Church teaches, through prayer, and good guidance from knowledgeable priests, good books,etc., as well as an opportunity for exercising obedience. In my experience, if there was something i had a hard time accepting, i would accept it because it was what i was supposed to believe. as my journey went along, i became aware of the beauty and wisdom of that particular teaching and now willingly embrace everything we are taught to believe.
sorry if all that was a bit jumbled lol
SomeSinner,
it certainly seems like your present state is despair or verrry close. Don’t give in to it. don’t be proud. would you want to be in this state for all of eternity? do you not see that God loves you? read this quietly in your heart and may God’s light and endless love for you seep into your heart and warm it with His grace. may it cause you to deeply question your currently held incorrect beliefs about God that the enemy of your soul (and everyone elses) would have you believe because they are lies. you are in our prayers.
Love,
DominicaPia
Conversation of the Merciful God with a Despairing Soul.
Jesus: O soul steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost. Come and confide in your God, who is love and mercy.
-But the soul, deaf even to this appeal, wraps itself in darkness.
Jesus calls out again: My child, listen to the voice of your merciful Father.
- In the soul arises this reply: “For me there is no mercy,” and it falls into greater darkness, a despair which is a foretaste of hell and makes it unable to draw near to God.
Jesus calls to the soul a third time, but the soul remains deaf and blind, hardened and despairing. Then the mercy of God begins to exert itself, and, without any co-operation from the soul, God grants it final grace. If this too is spurned, God will leave the soul in this self-chosen disposition for eternity. This grace emerges from the merciful Heart of Jesus and gives the soul a special light by means of which the soul begins to understand God’s effort; but conversion depends on its own will. The soul knows that this, for her, is final grace and, should it show even a flicker of good will, the mercy of God will accomplish the rest.
My omnipotent mercy is active here. Happy the soul that takes advantage of this grace.
Jesus: What joy fills My Heart when you return to me. Because you are weak, I take you in My arms and carry you to the home of My Father.
Soul (as if awaking, asks fearfully): Is it possible that there yet is mercy for me?
Jesus: There is, My child. You have a special claim on My mercy. Let it act in your poor soul; let the rays of grace enter your soul; they bring with them light, warmth, and life.
Soul: But fear fills me at the thought of my sins, and this terrible fear moves me to doubt Your goodness.
Jesus: My child, all your sins have not wounded My Heart as painfully as your present lack of trust does - that after so many efforts of My love and mercy, you should still doubt My goodness.
Soul: O Lord, save me yourself, for I perish. Be my Savior. O Lord, I am unable to say anything more; my pitiful heart is torn asunder; but You, O Lord… Jesus does not let the soul finish but, raising it from the ground, from the depths of its misery, he leads it into the recesses of His Heart where all its sins disappear instantly, consumed by the flames of love.
Jesus: Here, soul, are all the treasures of My Heart. Take everything you need from it.
Soul: O Lord, I am inundated with Your grace. I sense that a new life has entered into me and, above all, I feel Your love in my heart. That is enough for me. O Lord, I will glorify the omnipotence of Your mercy for all eternity. Encouraged by Your goodness, I will confide to You all the sorrows of my heart.
Jesus: Tell me all, My child, hide nothing from Me, because My loving Heart, the Heart of your Best Friend, is listening to you.
Soul: O Lord, now I see all my ingratitude and Your goodness. You were pursuing me with Your grace, while I was frustrating Your benevolence. I see that I deserve the depths of hell for spurning Your graces.
Jesus (interrupting): Do not be absorbed in your misery-you are still too weak to speak of it-but, rather, gaze on My Heart filled with goodness, and be imbued with My sentiments. Strive for meekness and humility; be merciful to others, as I am to you; and, when you feel your strength failing, if you come to the fountain of mercy to fortify your soul, you will not grow weary on your journey.
A GOD OF HOPE
as I know from personal experience.
