Thoughts on kids and cell phones

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browneyes106

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First off I don’t have any kids but recently several of my relatives’ children have them. I think kids in middle school and high school should have cell phones depending on their situations. I have a cousin who is a freshman in a high school. She is involved in a lot of sports and after school activities. She often rides a city bus home and she has a cell phone for emergency purposes. She doesn’t text her friends and she either communicates with them through IM or landline phone. She only calls them her cell phone if she is waiting to meet them at the mall, sporting events or movies. One of my uncles on my dad’s side is a single dad his wife left him and his son. The ex lives out of state and is still in contact with the boy. My uncle feels guilty and overcompensates for his son. One of my aunts really feels sorry for my uncle and his son and she bought my cousin a cell phone and pays the bill monthly because my uncle can’t afford it. My uncle does make a good living but he lives in an area where the cost of living is extremely high. My cousin is only 10 years he isn’t involved in any afterschool sports or other programs. My uncle drives him to school and picks him up from school. He never rides a school bus. Recently my uncle and cousin were visiting my grandma and my cousin was constantly texting his friends for dumb reasons. What you all think about kids and cell phones?
 
Back when I was a teenager, beepers were the thing to have. However my parents would never let me have a beeper. Heck I didn’t even have designer clothes. 😛 But I know if I were a kid in this day and age, my parents would never let me have a cell phone. It’s just they way they are. I wasn’t even allowed to watch Rated R movies and to this day I still haven’t seen Jaws. But I digress.

My boyfriend and I were discussing this the other day. He comes from a strict home as well. I told him that when we have kids that they will not have a cell phone. His thoughts were that if the tools are avaliable i.e. cell phone, we should use it to our advantage. He said he thinks it’s a good idea to let them have one because in addition to their using it, we can use it to call them. It’s a way we can keep tabs on them.

Also, a girlfriend of mine gave her teenage daughter and son each a cell phone with that locator thing on it and it has worked when they needed it before. She said she is super glad they have it. And it’s not just to catch them doing something they shouldn’t. One time her daughter got really really lost and my friend was able to find her daughter and help her get home. So it’s a safety thing too.
 
I think a 10 year old with a cell phone is a stretch. But the situation with your uncle is a common one. Over compensation because of guilt.

I can prolly go along with a 13 year with a cell phone, but he/she would have it for my convinience, and I’d make sure they knew that.

I have 2 young 2nd neieces (7 and 11) that are ennarmored with my Iphone, and begging me to get them one for Christmas, to which I reply. “Ain’t gonna happen.”
 
No kids yet, but hopefully I’ll have some in a few years! My fiance and I are such meanies, we don’t want any of ours to have phones until they can drive! Now, 16+ years from now, I’m sure things will change. By then 6 year olds will be walking around with bluetooths and I’m sure we’ll cave and give the kids phones earlier, but as of right this moment we just don’t see the point.

Besides, who’s going to pay the bill? Oh right, us. Although, I do think the labor law says children can work at 14 with adult permission now … I think I see a bargaining chip 😛

EDIT: I should probably add that my mom still doesn’t have a cell phone, and I got my first cell phone at 18 - when I was old enough to pay for it myself. I didn’t get a car until I was 18 either (same story as the cell phone).

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I think my daughter was 13 when she got her first cellphone. She does play sports and it was very helpful for us. For instance she calls me from a certain exit on the highway when they are coming back from a meet or game to let me know to meet her at the school. Saves me from sitting in the car for a ridiculous amount of time on sports nights. Then I started to work although part time and it helped me feel more secure. She just got texting this year for her 16th birthday. We actually got the family unlimited . We also have a 21 year old who had texting on his phone. Yes we pay for it for both. Good , responsible kids , doing what they are supposed to be doing 99% of the time and we have the money to do it.
Bama , I’m with you . My convenience. The young lady recently lost use of the phone for two days because she could not take a call from me due to the batter being worn down from texting her friends. So she now know she better maintain that battery life.

I could think of better gifts to give that 10 year old in the OP.
 
OK, my ten-year old step daughter has a cell phone and we gave it to her.Before everyone starts in on me let me explain - those of you that have heard my rantings in the past about my in-laws know that we have major issues there and that my step daughter was adopted against my husbands wishes. Basically after the adoption we found out she was lied to about a lot of things on a lot of levels about her father and I. At this point we have nothing to do with either of his parents and he has taken the stance that his mother is dead to him. Even the priest that did our wedding told him he had done the right thing as he knows this woman. We do still have contact with his daughter. She was being restricted at one point from being able to have conversations with her father that were not listened in on. So one of the compromises up front was this cell phone that we gave her so that she could keep touch with BOTH families when she was with the other set without having the discomfort of asking for permission to use the phone or make a long distance call. It has worked out and now between email and cell she has an even closer relationship with her father now that she is not being told what she can and cannot talk to him about. She was the later server at our wedding and she was absolutely GREAT 👍 She made us both very proud. I guess it all depends on what the purpose of the phone is for and how the rules are set down.

God bless,
 
My ds1 got one at 14 or 15 and hid it from me for about 2 yrs…

After that, I got my kids the prepaid ones and they have to pay for it themselves… $30 every 2 months.

I don’t have much money and 4 kids so… that is just the way it goes… however 1 of the kids is a step and her mom got her one at 11 which was ridiculous… now at 13 she is into sports and stuff but not back then… it was a keep up with my kids and do one better type of thing… and she lost the first one… had the second one stolen and now has it taken away because she was texting a friend during class…

My kids are 17 and 19 (and 22) and the 17 yo is not allowed to use hers during school but the 19 yo (senior) is allowed to have and use his during school. In the 3 yrs that they have had their phones… neither has had theirs taken away for using during school but we have had 1 kid break his twice… so he is on his 3rd phone…last one I made him pay for (a whooping $29.95)
 
Oh, I struggle with this. There are some specific cases where I would give a cell phone to a young child. There used to be a pr-paid, kid-friendly phone on the market called the firefly.The parent could program up to 22 numbers (including a special button for mom and then for dad) an there was also a 9-1-1 button. The child could only make calls to and receive calls from he people who were programmed. There was no texting capability. When my daugther was in kindergarten, a classmate of hers was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. I told the mom about it and she ended up getting it for him a year later. That way he learned to responsibly call his mom if he had any problems, etc.

I can say is the place they get in trouble the most is the texting, especially pictures and videos, and having internet access on their phones. There are strict rules on cell phone usage in our house. No matter what, the cell phone gets plugged in on the charger in our bedroom at 8:30 p.m. (We have a rule about no house phone usage after 9). I know families that have pre-paid phones and the kids only get to take them when they go somewhere. There is some software I think to monitor their text messages. But there is also a rule that we can read her text messages at anytime. And we have. So she now takes her friends to task when they send questionable text messages.

You just need to shop around the various compaines and the phones available. Our 9 year old has been whining that she needs a cell phone because many of her friends have one - in the 3rd grade! Uh, no! I don;t see the need for it. I am still of the mindset that a cell phone is for when you need it most. It is not a right.
 
My 8 year old daughter has my wife’s old cell phone. It is prepaid and for emergency use only. It comes in handy this week since my daughter is visiting Grandma and Grandpa 350 miles away. They will bring her back on Christmas Eve and that way I know where they are if they have any problems.
 
A little P.S. to add is we have a list of cell phone usage rules with our teenager.

Some of them include:

There is NO texting at the table.

If you need to speak to me and we are in the same house, you will not text me. You will come and talk to me.

The phone is plugged in on the charger in our bedroom by 8:30 until it is time for you to leave the next moring or 8:30 on non-school days.

Texting is not allowed during school, church, confirmation class, etc. (We monitor the bill regularly online to see that this is being followed.) The texting gets turned off if she is caught.

Teenagers usually do more texting than talking.
 
I never thought I would approve of cell phones for kids, but with the way my daughters and their kids ramble around town I do see the necessity, with car pools, sports, different parents reponsible for drop off and pick up at different events etc., and the fact that teachers, coaches, scout leaders etc. also keep in touch with kids this way.

the 5 oldest grandchildren (middle school and up) have them, texting is not enabled, they are all on a shared family plan with unlimited minutes, if they lose a phone they have to pay for a new one. the numbers they can dial are programmed in and if the school calls and says phone was confiscated for inappropriate use, that’s it, no phone for the rest of the semester (which is more of a punishment for my DD’s than for the kids).
 
joandarc2008 said:
OK, my ten-year old step daughter has a cell phone and we gave it to her.Before everyone starts in on me let me explain - those of you that have heard my rantings in the past about my in-laws know that we have major issues there and that my step daughter was adopted against my husbands wishes. Basically after the adoption we found out she was lied to about a lot of things on a lot of levels about her father and I. At this point we have nothing to do with either of his parents and he has taken the stance that his mother is dead to him. Even the priest that did our wedding told him he had done the right thing as he knows this woman. We do still have contact with his daughter. She was being restricted at one point from being able to have conversations with her father that were not listened in on. So one of the compromises up front was this cell phone that we gave her so that she could keep touch with BOTH families when she was with the other set without having the discomfort of asking for permission to use the phone or make a long distance call. It has worked out and now between email and cell she has an even closer relationship with her father now that she is not being told what she can and cannot talk to him about. She was the later server at our wedding and she was absolutely GREAT 👍 She made us both very proud. I guess it all depends on what the purpose of the phone is for and how the rules are set down.

God bless,
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I can understand the reason to why your stepdaughter has a cell phone and it does make the situation easier.
 
My son got his phone (a Tracfone) at 13… not one second before! He’s homeschooled and live 25 miles from the nearest city… he’s not really going many places without one of his parents! We have rules… no texting or games when we’re visiting people or especially in church. He buys his own minutes out of his allowance, although we’ll go half on one of the 450 minute cards because his phone came with double minutes on it… but if he runs out of his 900 minutes before three months are up, he has to wait for the next refill until his service is up unless he’s willing to pay the whole cost of the card himself! Texting is cheaper. He used to use his phone to call friends who live out of state, but then we packaged our long distance and DSL and it’s unlimited now, so he can use our landline, but not tie it up for over 30 minutes (and not every night!)

He’ll be getting his permit in a few months and once he gets his license, I’ll definitely want him to be able to get hold of us in an emergency. The main reason we bought the Tracfone (which is what my DH has as well) is that it encourages using the cell phone for what it was originally intended… emergencies, not non-stop yakking anytime, anyplace. Emergencies is actually too strong a word… I want him to call if he’s running late, not just if he’s involved in a multi-car pileup. But you get the idea.
 
I agree with a lot of you on the issues of using cell phones for emergencies and convenience of parents. Another thing that is happening a lot is that pay phones are being taken down in a lot of public places. Some of my teenage relatives do work part time and help pay the cell bills. My cousin who is 15 and a high school freshman worked during the summer and gave her parents a 100 dollars to help pay the cell phone one month. She won’t be working during the school year but she is a good student and she never texts and her phone doesn’t have Internet. She talks to her friends from the landline or IM from her computer when she is at home.
The situation with my uncle and 10 yr old cousin is really a case of overcompensating. But my uncle isn’t paying the monthly bill and he does let my aunt spoil his son because she feels sorry for him. My uncle can barely afford the cell phone he has for himself. I think the situation is bad in a way because he son isn’t learning the concept of managing money well. Like I mentioned in my original post they live in an area where the cost of living is very high. They live in a trailer park and my uncle owns the trailer but my uncle has to pay the parking fee which is about 800 a month. My uncle grew up very spoiled. He was the youngest child and my grandparents were in their 40’s when he was born my aunt the same one who pays his son’s cell bill is 19 years older than him and she has spoiled him his entire. My uncle doesn’t really know the concept of give and take. He is the type of person that takes and takes. His son basically uses the phone to be social and he texts friends from home and my cousin is hardly away from my uncle. He doesn’t ride a school bus and isn’t involved in any outside activities. They come every other weekend to visit my grandma and aunt.
 
My ten year old was recently on a trip across the country. She was the only kid in her group that didn’t have a cell phone. The staff had so come to expect the kids to have cell phones, that the land line in my daughter’s room was allowed to be left not working! :mad: She had to borrow a cell to call me.

There is no reason most kids need a cell phone. It’s just a luxury the parents won’t deny. My children will not have cell phones until their father and I have a reason for them to have cell phones.
 
maryprayforme said:
A little P.S. to add is we have a list of cell phone usage rules with our teenager.

Some of them include:

There is NO texting at the table.

If you need to speak to me and we are in the same house, you will not text me. You will come and talk to me.

The phone is plugged in on the charger in our bedroom by 8:30 until it is time for you to leave the next moring or 8:30 on non-school days.

Texting is not allowed during school, church, confirmation class, etc. (We monitor the bill regularly online to see that this is being followed.) The texting gets turned off if she is caught.

Teenagers usually do more texting than talking.
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Those are some awesome rules - God bless,
 
If you need to speak to me and we are in the same house, you will not text me. You will come and talk to me.
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:eek: Texting someone in the same house, especially your mom?

I’m sorry, I had to laugh a little bit at that one. Kids these days, I swear. 😛

I didn’t have a cell phone until I went off to college. It’s amazing how fast things have changed in just a couple of years!
 
ChristinaM said:
:eek: Texting someone in the same house, especially your mom?

I’m sorry, I had to laugh a little bit at that one. Kids these days, I swear. 😛

I didn’t have a cell phone until I went off to college. It’s amazing how fast things have changed in just a couple of years!
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You haven’t seen the commercial where the parents and kids are texting each other around the dinner table?
 
Our kids do need cell phones, to keep in touch with each other and with us.

But there are a few rules:
  1. You phone for a ride when your event ends, and you can phone before the event starts to invite people to come, but you don’t use the phone during the event. It is turned off when you are in Church, when you are in class, and when you are supposed to be paying attention to your coach, Youth Group leader, etc. You can pick up your voice mail at the end of the day, and call people back.
  2. The phone is for arranging meetings and for conveying important information - not for having conversations on, because, #1, you can be overheard by spies, and #2, there are only a certain amount of free minutes on the plan (any minutes over the prepaid account come out of your allowance). Have your actual conversation when you meet, and can see each other face to face.
 
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