C
catholic_gal
Guest
So I’m in the first 12 days of Total Consecration to Jesus Through Mary, and the focus is on dying to the world/self. I’ve always said a morning offering, and some days, I’m good at offering up my sufferings. Other days, not so much.
My difficulty is more interior than exterior. While I can PERFORM the act of mortification, inside my heart is resentful and negative. For instance, I had to go buy sodas for the office this morning, and I bought generic brand. After toting almost 25 bottles of soda to the office and unloading it, my boss tells me I have to return all of them because the employees only drink name brand. So I did it…without huffing and puffing and complaining (too much). But like I said, inside I was not thrilled.
When does the virtue take over? Does it ever? Will I ever ENJOY mortification like the saints did? Maybe it’s a “fake it til you make it” type of thing. Any thoughts?
My difficulty is more interior than exterior. While I can PERFORM the act of mortification, inside my heart is resentful and negative. For instance, I had to go buy sodas for the office this morning, and I bought generic brand. After toting almost 25 bottles of soda to the office and unloading it, my boss tells me I have to return all of them because the employees only drink name brand. So I did it…without huffing and puffing and complaining (too much). But like I said, inside I was not thrilled.
When does the virtue take over? Does it ever? Will I ever ENJOY mortification like the saints did? Maybe it’s a “fake it til you make it” type of thing. Any thoughts?