Thous shalt not commit adultery

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Jesus told us that it is written “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and then told us also not to look at someone with lust in our eyes, for that is adultery also.

I often see men, who I think are quite cute.

And yes, I have thought of lust.

But it seems to be an uncontrollable thought. It pops in, and then I think, oops that isnt right.

Does anyone have the same problem?? And how have you gone about trying to stop this? Or is my mind programmed to just do this?? Will there ever be a day when I will look at a man whom is attractive and not feel lust?

Love Kellie
 
Kellie,
You are certainly not alone.
But you seem to be on the right track. When you realize your thoughts are inappropriate, you catch yourself and say, That isn’t right. It’s when we entertain wrong thoughts that we are sinning.
I have dealt with this temptation by thinking, if the creature (a man) is so attractive, how much more beautiful must the creator be?
Lust occurs when we think of another person as an object for our gratification, which I’m sure you don’t want to do. We have to think of other people as our brothers and sisters who we are helping or hindering on their way to heaven, not as objects, and that helps get rid of lust.
Yours in Christ,
Viki
 
Don’t worry, it it perfectly natural for you to experience lust when you see men you think are cute! It just means it is time for you to get married. The physical sensation of lust is automatic, but you can stop your mind from dwelling on it, remove yourself from the situation that provoked it, and avoid situations where people are dressed immodestly.
 
“You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building a nest in your hair.”

Variously attributed to an anonymous Chinese philosopher and to Martin Luther, but it fits this kind of situation.

DaveBj
 
I first confessed this a couple of years ago, and that was helpful. Since then, I’ve developed the habit of averting my eyes whenever I catch myself looking at a woman’s body. That has really helped with breaking the habit. I owe that loyalty to my spouse.
 
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kellie:
Jesus told us that it is written “Thou shalt not commit adultery” and then told us also not to look at someone with lust in our eyes, for that is adultery also.
He does raise the standard quite a bit, we’re not to dream of or imagine of the sexual act with anyone not our spouse.
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kellie:
I often see men, who I think are quite cute.
Put it back in context, Jesus is talking about “adultery” not just thinking someone is cute, or being physically attracted. Don’t go day dreaming about having sexual encounters.
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kellie:
And yes, I have thought of lust.
If you’re speaking of imagining having sex with the person, then yes, that’s a sin and it can be prevented.
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kellie:
Does anyone have the same problem??
The question is does anyone not have this problem???
Keep in mind love is not lust, and, lust is not love.
 
Being married doesn’t cure the temptation to look. But it helps cure the temptation to know that if the wife catches you looking you are going to get an elbow to the right side of the jaw…

Seriously though, I’d be careful because lustful thoughts can easily turn into lustful actions. Men know when a woman is giving them “the look” and I am sad to say that there are a lot of unscrupulous men who will chew you up and spit you out if you don’t have your mind set on holy thoughts. You will be easy pickins for them. And you will end up with a whole lot of spiritual damage and emotional scars and God knows what else.

Its tough to live in a society where we are so innondated with sensual images. Just keep plugging away. And if you fall pick yourself back up.
 
As a married man, I always remember the story of the dog who liked to chase cars. The only thing he never thought of is: What would he do if he actually caught one?
 
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kellie:
I often see men, who I think are quite cute.

And yes, I have thought of lust.

But it seems to be an uncontrollable thought. It pops in, and then I think, oops that isnt right.
It’s the “oops that isn’t right” that is important in the description you give. It’s natural to find people attractive; it’s holy to realize that it is wrong to lust after them. Jesus didn’t say that it’s adultery to find someone else sexually attractive, he said it is adultery to look upon someone in order to lust after them. This clearly indicates a deliberate act and not an involuntary reaction. His statement is about those who wilfully lust after others but claim that they are still just because they never have sex with them.

I find that I experience this kind of problem in waves. It still happens all too often, but then they do say men, in general, are more visually stimulated than women. (Besides, women are just so much better looking than we are! :D) As has been suggested in a previous post, avert your eyes if you are having a particular problem. Just don’t walk into a post because of it. 😉
 
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