Hi All,
Well, maybe I’ll revive a “dying” topic (well, dying in the sense of activity on this particular post).
I am now 30, and my vocation is still up in the air. I was in the seminary for the Diocese of Bismarck, North Dakota, studying at Kenrick Seminary in St. Louis, MO. I was two years from Holy Orders, but took very ill with depression, and had to pull out. I wanted to go back after I recovered, but my diocese would not take me back, and a religious order in Chicago that I inquired with also would not take me because I was on anti-depressant medication. Then, all of a sudden, my interest in the priesthood disappeared.
Now and then I think about it, and sometimes I get excited about the idea again. But my thoughts turn most of the time towards marriage. The thing is, so many people whom I don’t know from Adam walk up to me at daily Mass, etc., and ask if I am a seminarian. I tell them no, but that I used to be. They encourage me to continue to pray about it and to think about it, and I love them for it because it shows they love the priesthood. If I was to just do what everyone thought I should (including my best friend and his parents, who have “adopted” me as a spiritual son), I would be a priest for sure. But the desires that were there for four years just aren’t there anymore. The heart seems to be saying “No”, even though everyone seems to disagree.
I think I have done all the discerning I can possibly do - now I am just at a point where I am waiting for God to guide my heart and to fulfill those desires. Vocations are usually decided by 30 - for me, it is a case of patiently waiting on God and bearing the Cross.