Thread for Courageous/same sex attracted males

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Hi Beantown, I looked up synonyms for orientation, and they are: direction, bearing, course, inclination, tendency,

My statement that we are all created heterosexual is based on Jesus’ Word in Mark 10:6-8 where He says, : “At the beginning of creation God made them male and female; for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and the two shall become as one. They are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore let no man separate what God has joined.”

That shows clearly the God-given orientation, direction, bearing, course, inclination, tendency which He has given to each of us in our sexuality.

Any orientation, direction, bearing, course, inclination, tendency other than what God has given to us, is not of Him, but is out of our own flesh as St. Paul says - and/or is of the enemy.

I hope this is helpful. God bless you, Cobalt
Dear Cobalt,
No need to look up synonyms for “orientation” a simple check of the dictionary would be adequate. i.e.:
Main Entry: ori·en·ta·tion
Function: noun
Pronunciation: "Or-e-&n-'tA-sh&n, "o r-, -"en-
1 a : the act or process of orienting or of being oriented b : the state of being oriented ; broadly : ARRANGEMENT , ALIGNMENT
2 : a usually general or lasting direction of thought, inclination, or interest
3 : change of position by organs, organelles, or organisms in response to external stimulus

If you read a bit more of St. Mark’s gospel you will see that Jesus was not referring to sexual orientation or "direction, bearing, course, inclination, tendency " but to divorce. If He was addressing any orientation at all in St. Mark’s gospel it would be to the heterosexual community since then or now do we recognize marriage of homosexuals, hence no divorce.

Mark 10:6-12

But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother (and be joined to his wife),
and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh.
Therefore what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
In the house the disciples again questioned him about this.
He said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery
against her;
and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

God love and keep you,
Beantown
 
Just thought I’d pop in here and say hi, and I will remember you all in my communion tomorrow.

Peace of Christ
 
Maybe I just did not make myself clear, for example many people say St.Paul was SSA. I respond by saying that I do not believe this but having not been there I can not say for sure but I can say that if that is the case he live a chaste life as his writings would show.

In the beginning I do agree God made man heterosexual, I thought I said that, Adam and Eve were perfect and The Church makes it clear that ssa is not what God would have for us. SO YES I UNDERSTAND THAT IT WAS SOMETHING THAT CAME AFTER THE FALL AND THUS AFTER ORIG. SIN . SSA is a cross to bare some say you are born with it and some say it develops as a result of abuse and some say it is even a genetic condition. Most would not want to have it.

God is a God of Love and Mercy full of compassion. We are ALL called to be MADE INTO HIS IMAGE. We should reach out to ALL people in the Most Holy Name of Christ in The Divine Mercy of Jesus.

Jesus and Mary love the sinner not the sin I think we can lower ourselves to try and follow their perfect example.
 
I would like some (name removed by moderator)ut from the group. I acted out recently, admitted what I was doing was wrong and that I didn’t want to continue what I was doing.

I went to confession this past Saturday, confessed the nature and number of my sins and renewed my commitment to not committing these sins again and amending my life.

The past two days I have spent time before the Blessed Sacrament in prayer. During the day when thoughts, images, etc came I renewed my commitment to amending my life and asked for God’s help. By God’s grace I haven’t acted out again.

Would like to here how others deal with images and memories of past experiences when they come.

Albert
 
Would like to here how others deal with images and memories of past experiences when they come.
I am happy to hear you went to confession and resolved to not do it again.

When thoughts about people come into your head start thinking about something else. For every person it is different. If you are turned on by the look of someone, look at their flaws also. Remember that everyone is a creature of God, look at Lord contained within them. Pray. Look at a picture of Jesus. As time goes on, the power of the images in your head goes down.
 
I would like some (name removed by moderator)ut from the group. I acted out recently, admitted what I was doing was wrong and that I didn’t want to continue what I was doing.

I went to confession this past Saturday, confessed the nature and number of my sins and renewed my commitment to not committing these sins again and amending my life.

The past two days I have spent time before the Blessed Sacrament in prayer. During the day when thoughts, images, etc came I renewed my commitment to amending my life and asked for God’s help. By God’s grace I haven’t acted out again.

Would like to here how others deal with images and memories of past experiences when they come.

Albert
It is very hard to deal with the memories of past experiences. It is so easy to fall into “fantasy land”. I deal with it by refusing to entertain the images in my mind. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me in dealing with the temptations.
It is always good to go to confession often. I applaud that effort on your part. Make the rosary a part of your life, or the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. I pray it every day. I also pray Compline every night which is an immense help.
SSA is a cross to bear but it can be conquered. Surround yourself with friends from church and with those who support your celibacy.
Lissa
 
Hi everyone,

For some reason, I haven’t been getting any notifications in my email on new posts in this thread. Has anyone else also had thate experience? I thought that the thread had died since early June. So I just checked it this morning to find that people had still been posting. Will catch up on the posts later.

Ben
 
SSA is a cross to bear but it can be conquered. Surround yourself with friends from church and with those who support your celibacy.
Lissa

I agree with this, you know I had a long time cross. I for a long time had migrain and then much time with depression and yet I didn’t know it that I had depression because Iwas in that hole of depression I thought that it was normal. I did the first thing and that is to OWN the problem. When I own it I then can say whether I want it or not. I sure didn’t want migrain and so I had to ask myself if I wanted to think the way i was (negative) ro not. It’s the same way with anything SSA or other. If you own it ( not blaming other or situation) then you can gain control over it. It took me 25 years to master my mind in this way and the out come is this. I now have NO migrain, NO head ach, NO negative thoughts conqure my actions and thoughts.
Yes it all comes firstly from the thought patterns, yes that is how satin gets us by putting thoughts in our head. How do we know? we know because God made us to HIS likeness, be it a little likeness. He came onto this earth to show us that we can conqure ALL situations that come our way. How do we know ? Jesus told us that God gives us NO more than we can take ( we know because He loves us) and He gives us the grace to over take and then if we accept that we have a problem and then seek help, God can send a person or place or thing to help us.

Give it a go you can do it.
Forgive your self firstly, and nail that part of your life to the cross of Jesus Christ, that meens giving it up to Him, letting it go. Remember Jesus told us that it will be gone as fare as the east to the west and you can’t see that.
God bless
littleone
 
I won’t mention the name but there is a particular on these forums who doesn’t believe one can live with same sex attraction and never engage in sex. He insists it is idolatrous by nature and must be changed to be a follower of Christ. I have told him that I have never been in a relationship and he calls that “somewhat suspect” experience. What should I do, other than report a problem post?
 
I thought I’d post a bit tonight before hitting the sack. I haven’t been doing much spiritual reading lately. But I decided to check out the second reading for today’s mass and found the following verses nearby. Thought I’d share it because it helped me today directly or indirectly in my struggle.

Galatians 6:1-10

" My brothers, if someone is detected in sin, you who live by the spirit should gently set him right, each of you trying to avoid falling into temptation himself. Help carry one another’s burdens; in that way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he amounts to something, when he in fact he is nothing, he is only deceiving himself. Each man should look to his conduct; if he has reason to boast of anything, it will be because the achievement is his and not another’s. Everyone should bear his own responsibility.

“The man instructed in the word should share all he has with his instructor. make no mistake about it, no one makes a fool of God! A man will reap only what he sows. If he sows in the field of the flesh, he will reap a harvest of corruption; but if his seed-ground is the spirit; he will reap, he will reap everlasting life. Let us not grow weary of doing good; if we do not relax our efforts, in due time we shall reap our harvest. While we have the opportunity, let us do good to all men–but especially to those of the household of the faith.”

These verses resounded in me because of a few reasons(which may be different from how they strike you).

First if all, there can be pitfalls and challenges in helping each other and particularly in a group of fellow strugglers or Courageous. And the verses perhaps describe how we should be charitable to each other in this context. Perhaps.

Secondly, as the verses mention, it can also be tempting to either think that one is better than another. One might refuse another’s help thinking that he doesnt need it. Or one, who is in the position to help another, might think of himself too highly to even want to help someone who could benefit from him.

Lastly, the verses also mention bearing one’s own responsibility. I usually think of myself as a responsible guy. But often, in times of “loneliness,” I have the urge to find someone so I wouldn’t have to be lonely. Perhaps to depend on him…perhaps. Recently, I’ve been experiencing support from a number of people. But nonetheless there remains times when I feel that loneliness in spite of everything that’s been done or that others could do. So I found myself in a place where I had no other alternative than to accept that that lonely moment was God’s will. Maybe a time for growth. A time when I needed to take responsibility for myself and do the right thing…whatever that can mean…taking care of myself, turning to God, resisting temptation to sin, doing to do something for others in spite of that lonely feeling.

I was told that I shouldn’t need to continually seek consolation. That part of spiritual maturity is to do God’s will even without the consolations. (In other words, that I was seeking consolations continually is a sign of spiritual immaturity 😊 ) One friend told me this quote, “Do we seek the consolations of God or the God of all consolations?” Furthermore, one Courage chaplain said that in the beginning God helps us by giving us all these consolations in our journey. But later the consolations become less and less…we could even experience spiritual dryness as some saints do. And yet we have to take the responsibility and do God’s will. Sin no more, do works of mercy, reach out to others.

I guess that to be a real man of God, we need to bear that cross and do the right thing out of love for Him and others…even without consolations or even in loneliness. Somethings you are responsible for alone. We can help carry each others burdens but it’s still ones own responsibility.

The other verses speak for themselves. Just thought I’d post something because I havent done so in a while.
 
I won’t mention the name but there is a particular on these forums who doesn’t believe one can live with same sex attraction and never engage in sex. He insists it is idolatrous by nature and must be changed to be a follower of Christ. I have told him that I have never been in a relationship and he calls that “somewhat suspect” experience. What should I do, other than report a problem post?
Hi there Just wondering if you are boarding /flatting with a same sex person? I have, on many occasions before I married but they were all helping each other out.
Where’s the problem if you are?

Any way God bless, Jesus is the judge no other.
littleone
 
Hi there Just wondering if you are boarding /flatting with a same sex person? I have, on many occasions before I married but they were all helping each other out.
Where’s the problem if you are?

Any way God bless, Jesus is the judge no other.
littleone
I share an apartment with a guy, if that’s what you mean. I prefer to do that to cut down on expenses. It’s a 2 bedroom so nothing goes on.
 
I share an apartment with a guy, if that’s what you mean. I prefer to do that to cut down on expenses. It’s a 2 bedroom so nothing goes on.
Yes that’s what I thought you ment, so theres no problem was there another question<<<<
Hey God bless
littleone
 
I am continuing my dating of my girlfriend. She is wonderful and is providing me with great motivation for recovery.

Yet my heart is still broken. My friend, Michael, who I flirted with last year just doesn’t respond to my emails. I know I made some mistakes and God has forgiven me through the sacrament of confession but I am seeking Michael’s forgiveness of my actions as well. I remember his cry to me “Maybe I’d be happier being Catholic.” And I long for this more than anything else. It would be my dream to have me and my girlfriend sponsor him. And then it would be my second dream for him, young as he is, to find a girl of his own and seek happiness that way. I know it can be done. But he seems to be in a shell and doesn’t want any reallife friendships.
 
I myself am not homosexual and never have had any of these experiences being discussed, however, we must remember thta God are omnipotent Father when he created us knew us in the womb ( Jeremiah off the top of the head cant remember the exact quote) by knowing all humans God gives us are strengths and vices: some men have homosexual lusts, some lust, some envy etc. God through his grace has given us the sacraments to overcome these shortcomings.
One must also remember that the Church teaches that being homosexual is not a sin, however practising it is and anyone who does is anathema. So even though it must be horrendously painful to lust for mortal sin, every man at sometime lusts (whether that be for a woman or man) and so in the eyes of the church the gay man is equal to straight man and only through the grace of God defeat these sins.
Without the Church one cannot hope to overcome mortal sin and that is why anyone hwo is not catholic or in communion with Holy Mother Church will be subjected to perpetual torment.
Finally, Catholic men and women in times of desperation simply walk down to the local church and sit in front of the tabernacle and recall our saviours Passion and the fact he hung on the cross was for the sins that you have committed and the one you are thinking of doing.
 
I think you might want to take another look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church . All people who are not in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church are not destined to spend all eternity in torment. Many through a mystery of grace shall be saved, though it is not for us to judge who…“judge not lest ye be judged”…There are many outside full communion who will find there way to heaven I think they will just be very surprised when they get there.
 
I am continuing my dating of my girlfriend. She is wonderful and is providing me with great motivation for recovery.

Yet my heart is still broken. My friend, Michael, who I flirted with last year just doesn’t respond to my emails. I know I made some mistakes and God has forgiven me through the sacrament of confession but I am seeking Michael’s forgiveness of my actions as well. I remember his cry to me “Maybe I’d be happier being Catholic.” And I long for this more than anything else. It would be my dream to have me and my girlfriend sponsor him. And then it would be my second dream for him, young as he is, to find a girl of his own and seek happiness that way. I know it can be done. But he seems to be in a shell and doesn’t want any reallife friendships.
It is good to see you have a girlfriend and I must support you in saying that apart from God being first in your mind and heart and soul she your girlfriend is next with your parents if that is possible for you and if that is what you choose(I don’t know your situation).

However as far as your friend is concerned If you are saying that your relationship with your friend (male) is not alive anymore then that is his choice you have to let go and seek the road ahead of you. Remember The young male who asked Jesus what else he had to do to live the way Jesus wished. When Jesus told him to sell up and follow Jesus the young man couldn’t, and that is the same with yor friend, you have to really mean iit tosell up and follow Jesus, and you will know when you let go and let God. All you can do is pray if he never forgives you that is not your fault you have seeked forgiveness, all you can do is say “Father fogive him for he knows not what he does”, and then let go. Say hi! if you see him but don’t get entangled because as long as you are half hearted then satan will keep you on the hook.
U can do it, God never gives us more than we can take.
God bless
littleone
 
I think you might want to take another look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church . All people who are not in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church are not destined to spend all eternity in torment. Many through a mystery of grace shall be saved, though it is not for us to judge who…“judge not lest ye be judged”…There are many outside full communion who will find there way to heaven I think they will just be very surprised when they get there.
Pope John Paul II ‘Only the fullness of salvation can eb obtained through the Holy Roman Catholic Church.’

However, my words were too brash and I apologise as Catholics and people who have not heard of Christ (through the mercy of God) can receive salvation. I think that was in a papl encyclical published bu Paul VI. Not quite sure though.
Apologies again I am a sinner like everyone else and would not look to judge, just trying to abrupt tactci to make people realise the truth of the church!
 
I just wanted to pop in to praise Ben and the rest of you who followed him here to CAF to discuss the challenges you face. God be with each and every one of you.

Please do not get turned off by some of the side-topics which sprout up from time to time. If you really want to get into discussions about God’s plan for mankind with regard to sexuality and marriage and such there are many threads over in Moral Theology and Family Life to read up on and jump into. If there are answers you seek about the Catholic perspective on SSA, they will be here, and if not, you can start a thread yourself!

But if you seek support in living a chaste life, come back to this thread frequently so that it doesn’t waiver too far from the original purpose, as that purpose is a Godsend in itself.

I hope you’re doing ok, Ben.
 
I just can’t accept anymore that all active homosexuals will go to hell. This may not jive with Church and Biblical teaching but when you consider that the majority of those who do go into it come from abusive fathers or broken families I don’t believe they cn be held responsible for their actions. I can hear Jesus today saying gays and lesbians are entering the kingdom before you.
 
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