Thread for married people dealing with aftermaths of premarital sex

  • Thread starter Thread starter Gamera
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Dear Indome.
About two years ago (when I was 23) I met a wonderful young man after a Mass in Jerusalem where I lived at the time. We both felt a strong bond between us and that the other might very well be the one we had been waiting for for quite some years. After about a month of serious courtship he one day told me, after a long trembling hesitation, that he was not a virgin. He was very sad and it was obviously something he deeply regretted. Now he was afraid of loosing me. I thought to myself: How could I jugde this man that I love when I am myself a sinner. If I am a virgin it is because of God’s grace… because He has protected me from the influences of the world. I instantly knew that it meant more to me that he was honest and that he had regretted it than what had actually happend… this is due to one thing: Of course for a while it hurt to think about that I was not his first… but it always hurt me more to see his pain because of what he had done. It never crossed my mind to punish him by leaving him because first of all: I truly loved him and second of all: … forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us… Today I am happily married to this man. I never ever wanna bring up the pain he experienced in his past. He is the best man I could have ever found.

Ps. In Bosnia-Herzegovina I once heard the story about the marriage-preparation course: The first thing the priest says to the young woman is: “You think you found your prince. You haven’t. You have found your cross…” and he says to the young man: “You think you have found your princess… You haven’t… you have found your cross… What do you do with your cross… you embrace it …you love it.”

True love is carrying each others crosses and carrying the cross together.
 
THis is a very interesting thread. But as you can see many people deal with the same issue!!! I know that myself and my wife both did. We both werer raised Catholic, but we gave away our gift to other poeple years before we met each other. We both were very premiscuous and regret it greatly now. I would use the fact that my wife was more than me and try to make her quilt even worse. This is one way Satan works against the wonderful gift of Marriage!!! He takes your past and helps you use it against the one you love the most. Yes you made a big mistake but you must move forward in CHrist. Love as He loved, He knew all of his Apostles sins and that they would turn their backs on Him and yet he loved them all!!! Pray for His healing in your soul. Don’t let poor decisions in your past bring you down in the future.

May God Bless

JS
 
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