Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

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I’m 21 and entering Postulancy with the Dominican Nuns of Our Lady of the Rosary Monastery in Summit, NJ at the end of this month!
So glad to see all the Dominican interest.

ladylinguist-- When I would contact orders I would just say a little about myself, age, name, schooling, etc. I’d mention that I was discerning religious life and ask for some information on their community. I’d also try to ask specific questions if I had any. For instance, I was really looking into how much time was spent in communal prayer, so I’d ask that.
 
Amata_Child said:
I’m 21 and entering Postulancy with the Dominican Nuns of Our Lady of the Rosary Monastery in Summit, NJ at the end of this month!
So glad to see all the Dominican interest.

ladylinguist-- When I would contact orders I would just say a little about myself, age, name, schooling, etc. I’d mention that I was discerning religious life and ask for some information on their community. I’d also try to ask specific questions if I had any. For instance, I was really looking into how much time was spent in communal prayer, so I’d ask that.
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Are they the comtemplative one’s or are they active. I ask that because I thought I heard that there was a community of contemlative Dominicans over there.

Have any of you guys thought about what name you want to take? I know St. Therese knew what name she wanted (actually she just added suffixes to the end of her original name) before she ever got to the monastary. I’ve been thinking about “Mary Veronica”. What about you?

God Bless
Joyful_1
 
Joyful_1 said:
Are they the comtemplative one’s or are they active. I ask that because I thought I heard that there was a community of contemlative Dominicans over there.
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They are a cloistered contemplative community.
 
Dear Ladies:

I am also a convert but unlike most of you I converted late in life at 50. So I have been married, no children, I do have a boyfriend right now but he is supporting me in my discernment, he wants me to be what ever the Lord has planed for me.

Like some of you I am drawn to cloistered and contemplative orders, particular the Benedictines and the Carmel.

If any of you hear of a monastery that allows over 50 novices, please let me know. For the time being I am also investigating Third order Carmel.

Marilynclssc
 
Hello!

I am “swimming the Tiber” this Easter vigil and am discerning my vocation. I was baptized and raised as an evangelical Christian and have never been married. I always thought the right guy would come along at the right time, but at the same time, have always been content being single and have loved studying and seeking truth and serving others in various ministries. Of course, as a Protestant, there is no religious life (at least not in the evangelical congregrations)!

After considerable prayer and study, I know God is calling my home to the Catholic Church and for several months I have been feeling drawn to the religious life (despite my initial resistance). When I first started looking at religious orders, I was attracted to the contemplation of the Carmelites. However, I am currently blessed to belong to a parish served by the Dominicans and the more I learn about the order, the more I love it.

I have quite a journey ahead before deciding anything and am taking things one step at a time, but am open to go wherever God leads and am excited about the road ahead.
 
Marilynclssc said:
Dear Ladies:

If any of you hear of a monastery that allows over 50 novices, please let me know. For the time being I am also investigating Third order Carmel.

Marilynclssc
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There are many houses in the US who would consider an ‘older’ candidate, but you’ll have to contact them one by one.

Generally, the more ‘updated’ ones with no habit or a modified habit are more likely to accept older candidates. I also think that an older person (by religious standards!) would have an easier time adjusting to their lifestyle . The strictest orders such as the Poor Clare Collettines accept only those under 35. Orders such as some Benedictines which chant the entire office in Latin and do farming want younger members. Many Visitation houses consider older candidates, as they were founded especially for widows and those not up to austerities.

If you are a convert you need to have converted for at least two years and celibate for at least that time period. Most orders don’t require virginity in older never-married candidates, but that is a very personal matter and would have to be approached on an individual basis.

However, in England almost all religious orders are hurting, and recently a 54 year old entered a conservative Carmel. The blog from Colwich Benedictine enclosed monastery, www.colwichnov.wordpress.com describes this order, which will consider older candidates. They seem very nice. Their postulant, Adele, wo is getting clothed soonis in her 40’s
 
Marilynclssc said:
Dear Ladies:

I am also a convert but unlike most of you I converted late in life at 50. So I have been married, no children, I do have a boyfriend right now but he is supporting me in my discernment, he wants me to be what ever the Lord has planed for me.

Like some of you I am drawn to cloistered and contemplative orders, particular the Benedictines and the Carmel.

If any of you hear of a monastery that allows over 50 novices, please let me know. For the time being I am also investigating Third order Carmel.

Marilynclssc
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I do believe that Our Lady of the Angels Monastary in Hanceville, AL…Mother Angelica, does. Mother’s own mother became a nun. Remember?

I am praying for all of you!
 
DJgang said:
I do believe that Our Lady of the Angels Monastary in Hanceville, AL…Mother Angelica, does. Mother’s own mother became a nun. Remember?

I am praying for all of you!
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This monastery has a lot of young vocations and is probably not looking at older vocations now.
 
When searching for orders which are considering older vocations, it is important to use sources which include all orders, not just some pre-selected list. For example, there is an opinion in the US that only certain orders qualify to be listed, that is, those with habits, very important among the laity, and which meet certain criteria. These orders may or may not accept older applicants. Other orders, which have been ‘updated’ and may wear a modified habit are now less popular so may consider older candidates and may be more suitable anyway, as they tend to be less austere.

A link to all Carmelite nuns: ocd.pcn.net/ocd/n2_usa.htm

A link to the mainly updated Carmels of the Carmelite Communities Associated:

ccacarmels.org/

A link to ALL Benedictine sisters in the uS:

benedictine-srs-vocations.org/index.html

A link to the latrobe OCD’s which consider candidates to age 50:

latrobecarmel.com/requirements.html

A link to ALL Poor Clares:

poorclare.org/blog/?page_id=2

There are many other contemplative nuns in the US: Visitation, Precious Blood, Sacramentines, Redemptorists, which would consider an older candidate.
 
KiraSana said:
Hello!

I am “swimming the Tiber” this Easter vigil and am discerning my vocation. I was baptized and raised as an evangelical Christian and have never been married. I always thought the right guy would come along at the right time, but at the same time, have always been content being single and have loved studying and seeking truth and serving others in various ministries. Of course, as a Protestant, there is no religious life (at least not in the evangelical congregrations)!

After considerable prayer and study, I know God is calling my home to the Catholic Church and for several months I have been feeling drawn to the religious life (despite my initial resistance). When I first started looking at religious orders, I was attracted to the contemplation of the Carmelites. However, I am currently blessed to belong to a parish served by the Dominicans and the more I learn about the order, the more I love it.

I have quite a journey ahead before deciding anything and am taking things one step at a time, but am open to go wherever God leads and am excited about the road ahead.
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Hello:wave:

I also “swam the Tiber” this past Easter. At first I felt like my attraction to the vocation was just what they call “convert zeal”. Many new converts feel like they might be called to the religious life because they are so excited about their new faith. All we want to do is study Catholic doctrine, so we can sometimes take that as a calling to the religious life. I still haven’t figured out if that is what mine is, but I’m only 17 so I have plenty of time to decide( but I hate not knowing ).

Most orders won’t let you join until you have been Catholic for at least two years. If all we have is convert zeal and not a true calling to the religious life, I think we will have it figured out in two years. :rolleyes: At least I hope so!

Anyway… welcome to the exciting world of discernment! I am also looking at the Dominicans so we have that in common.

God Bless
Joyful_1
 
When trying to determine what is the upper age for candidates, it’s important to read the language used to describe the qualifications.

Orders with pretty tight age requirements will say so. ((ie “18-35”). Sometimes: “18-35, no exceptions”. Sometimes “exceptions are sometimes made.” Or: no mention of an age range, or “each case is considered individually.” Or a high limit, which can be interpreted to mean, “50” at the age of contact, not necessarily age 50 when one takes final vows. Or upper age is 45, say, but no harm in contacting if you’re 46 or 47–you never know.

If you are 50 or older, there are a lot of orders willing to consider you, but you have to look harder and more intensively, as time isn’t on your side. One spiritual director insisted that his directee pray for 3 years BEFORE looking at orders–she was in her 30’s and fortunately had some time–I consider this requirement unrealistic (she wasn’t a convert and hadn’t recently returned to the church etc.). She ended up profession in the Benedictines of Perpetual Adoration in Clyde MO. They have a number in formation now.

Another way to avoid your age working against you is to explore religious life and orders before you can technically join, due to impediments such as debts, an annulment not being finalized, support of an elderly parent, but you can establish yourself with a given community so that, when and if the opportunity arises, you can enter, even if technically you are over their age limit.
 
I am definitely planning on taking my time to discern. I know two to three years after conversion is generally minimum; additionally, I have some other issues to work out, namely, I have student loans to finish paying off. So, as I said, I have a ways to go.

In the meantime, I continually pray for the grace and wisdom to know God’s will and the perseverance to follow it. Additionally, I plan to speak with one of the priests at my parish within the next couple months about where I am at and to ask about regular spiritual guidance and vocation discernment.

Of course, I have also enjoyed reading everyone’s stories, questions and answers in this forum and others!
 
1234 said:
If you are a convert you need to have converted for at least two years and celibate for at least that time period. Most orders don’t require virginity in older never-married candidates, but that is a very personal matter and would have to be approached on an individual basis.
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This is also individual and can only be taken as a rule of thumb. Some will require longer times to consider a vocation after conversion, others are willing to try sooner, depending on the personal impression.

And I have, even as young woman (standing for under 30 here g) never encountered any problems when I mentioned that I’ve had sexual experiences.
 
I’m 23 and looking only at the Dominicans. I’ve been in discernment since April 2006. So far my dad and my sister knows, but not my mom.

I’ve only visited one convent so far, but out here in Los Angeles, the convents tend to be more moderate/center rather than traditional; I meet mainly with the Mission San Jose sisters. I would love to have an opportunity to visit the SMMEs or the Nashville Dominicans. 👍

I think I would like to teach, I never really allowed myself to think of it as a career because it wouldn’t support me financially.
 
lvngembrs said:
I’m 23 and looking only at the Dominicans. I’ve been in discernment since April 2006. So far my dad and my sister knows, but not my mom.

I’ve only visited one convent so far, but out here in Los Angeles, the convents tend to be more moderate/center rather than traditional; I meet mainly with the Mission San Jose sisters. I would love to have an opportunity to visit the SMMEs or the Nashville Dominicans. 👍

I think I would like to teach, I never really allowed myself to think of it as a career because it wouldn’t support me financially.
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Hello 👋

Welcome. I have looked at the Dominicans too, but I have not been able to visit any communities yet. Is it just me or are the Nashville Dominicans just very widely known and publicized? It seems like they have been on the cover of every vocations publication I see.

I am also beginning to have an interest in the Franciscan order. I don’t think I could be a Poor Clare, but a there are some lovely TORs in Steubenville. There is a group of Franciscans about an hour or two from where I live, but I don’t know much about them because they are not online. I will have to call.
 
The Nashvilles are widely known because they “spawned” the SMMEs in Michigan.

I don’t think I would want to remain in California since the sisters don’t wear the traditional habit and many are changing the chapels in the convent house to something modern, or they practice new age things like centering prayer, it turns me off a bit. I want a community that is in full union with Rome, and California’s just too liberal for me! 🤷

Oh, shout out to Amata Child!! :extrahappy: I’ll write to you soon.
 
While it is perfectly fine to search for a community that does not do centering prayer and wears habit, I personally think it is a bit unfair to equal centering prayer + no habit = not in full communion with Rome…
 
lvngembrs said:
The Nashvilles are widely known because they “spawned” the SMMEs in Michigan.

I don’t think I would want to remain in California since the sisters don’t wear the traditional habit and many are changing the chapels in the convent house to something modern, or they practice new age things like centering prayer, it turns me off a bit. I want a community that is in full union with Rome, and California’s just too liberal for me! 🤷

Oh, shout out to Amata Child!! :extrahappy: I’ll write to you soon.
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Yes, I hate to gauge my choices by whether of not they wear a habit because that really shouldn’t matter, but usually the ones that don’t are more liberal. I really want a more conservative order.

God Bless
Joyful_1
 
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