Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

[wina]

Hello, Wina and Nicole.

Welcome.

Wina, I’m glad you’re getting spiritual direction. I think that is very important. If you are engaged it is even more important that you figure out what God is calling you to do before you commit.

Nicole, I know what you mean about wanting a break. I am always feeling like I have way too many things going on to focus properly on what is important.

God Bless,
Joyful_1

HI Joyfull,

Thank you…actually my call to go to religious life seems on and off.And before I was afraid to bring it through prayer because there was fear that will be true. But lately it seems I have courage to pray and ask God about it. Honestly I love my fiance and we have been 5 years to make our relationship work out although we have LDR but we still can make it. My good friends don’t agree but they still tell me to think about it more. And I said I haven’t decided yet I just need to be sure whether God’s will for me is to go to religious life or to get married. and try it if I never try then I will never know and it will make me wonder about it. Honestly even now, some part of me still have fear but some parts motivate me to try. And it make me excited. anyway…hope that you can pray for my discernment too. God bless

 

[wina]

Hello all, may I join you?

I am in the early stages of discerning. I am going to a monastary on June 27th for a visit (Benedicts of Ferdinand, In). I guess I’ve been discerning off and on for several years, but have “gotten serious about it” the last six or seven months.

I am 27 years old and the longer I live in this secular world, the more I want to make a break into religious life. I’m really looking forward to the week at the monastary. I’m sure there will be a lot of questions answered.

I look forward to getting to know you all.

God bless,
Nicole

Hi Nicole,

Is there any Benedictine order that can contact?? but I live very far from any Benedictine order and in my country there’s none.

 

[nicolep]

Hi Nicole,

Is there any Benedictine order that can contact?? but I live very far from any Benedictine order and in my country there’s none.

There are several around me that I’ve been in some contact with. The Monastary I’m going to in June can be found at www.thedome.org. It’s beautiful there and I’d be staying relatively close to my current home.

God bless,
Nicole

 

[LydiaW]

Hello again ladies!
I’ve been absent from this thread for awhile now, as I have been going through some trials in my life. I have struggling more than before with doubt when I think about becoming a Nun. Back in January, when I was a little bit more steadfast in leaning towards religious life, I went through some of the hardest trials in my life so far. I underwent surgery for a serious issue, had my long time boyfriend dump me, and had serious complications from the surgery being slightly botched. I came very close to actually dying (heart nearly stopped).

I find myself now with split desires. I almost wish I could experience both married life and religious life, but I know that that in it’s literal form would never happen. Since I came so close to death, I find myself thinking about long term goals like never before.

Then tonight, I went on a tour of a local Francisan convent along with my father’s RCIA group (He finally converted this Easter,yay!).
I lately had pushed the thought of becoming a nun to the back of my mind, thinking that with the health concerns I have had, and my desire to make a bigger impact, that I wasn’t cut out for religious life. But as the tour went on, and I saw more and more…I felt such peace as I haven’t felt in a long time. With all the issues that have been going on in my life, including others I have not mentioned here, I have been in personal turmoil. It’s like all of that washed away for a brief while as I was there this evening. The order is an aging one that desperately needs new young women to join, and when I heard a sister talking about it, I felt the impulse to say “I’ll join!” right then and there.

I worry about leaving my father though, who honestly has at times only made it through the trials of life because I was there, helping pick up the pieces. My mother left him when I was 13, and he hasn’t been quite the same since. In recent years, his health has declined more. When I told him several months ago about my thoughts of a possible religious life, he broke down in tears. This from a man who only has cried a few times that I can ever remember, the last being the death of an uncle he was very close to, and 10 years before that at the death of his father.

What to do…I feel in my heart that I need to decide fairly soon. Otherwise, I need to make my way in the world, wether it be college,a long term job, or even possibly marriage.

I apologize for such a long winded post. I just really need to air the worries of my heart out a bit. Thanks for your patience.

 

[Joyful_1]

Hello again ladies!
I’ve been absent from this thread for awhile now, as I have been going through some trials in my life. I have struggling more than before with doubt when I think about becoming a Nun. Back in January, when I was a little bit more steadfast in leaning towards religious life, I went through some of the hardest trials in my life so far. I underwent surgery for a serious issue, had my long time boyfriend dump me, and had serious complications from the surgery being slightly botched. I came very close to actually dying (heart nearly stopped).

I find myself now with split desires. I almost wish I could experience both married life and religious life, but I know that that in it’s literal form would never happen. Since I came so close to death, I find myself thinking about long term goals like never before.

Then tonight, I went on a tour of a local Francisan convent along with my father’s RCIA group (He finally converted this Easter,yay!).
I lately had pushed the thought of becoming a nun to the back of my mind, thinking that with the health concerns I have had, and my desire to make a bigger impact, that I wasn’t cut out for religious life. But as the tour went on, and I saw more and more…I felt such peace as I haven’t felt in a long time. With all the issues that have been going on in my life, including others I have not mentioned here, I have been in personal turmoil. It’s like all of that washed away for a brief while as I was there this evening. The order is an aging one that desperately needs new young women to join, and when I heard a sister talking about it, I felt the impulse to say “I’ll join!” right then and there.

I worry about leaving my father though, who honestly has at times only made it through the trials of life because I was there, helping pick up the pieces. My mother left him when I was 13, and he hasn’t been quite the same since. In recent years, his health has declined more. When I told him several months ago about my thoughts of a possible religious life, he broke down in tears. This from a man who only has cried a few times that I can ever remember, the last being the death of an uncle he was very close to, and 10 years before that at the death of his father.

What to do…I feel in my heart that I need to decide fairly soon. Otherwise, I need to make my way in the world, wether it be college,a long term job, or even possibly marriage.

I apologize for such a long winded post. I just really need to air the worries of my heart out a bit. Thanks for your patience.

Hello, Lydia.
This is definitely the place to vent vocation worries. I will be praying for you.

I want to ask you about the Franciscan community you visited. Is that the one in Independence MO? I was just thinking this morning that I should call them. I am really attracted to the Franciscan spirituality and I live only an hour south of KC. I don’t know much about them b/c they don’t have a website. I would like to visit and see what they are like. Can you tell me about them?

Joyful_1

 

[LydiaW]

Joyful,
Yes it is the one in Independence, MO.! They are such an amazing group of sisters that do so very much for the community and the world. The convent is set on 90 + acres not far from main Independence. They have a mission warehouse where they do amazing work, sending food and various supplies to third world countries and even Native American tribes. They get a lot of donations from hospitals and individuals, so they send out the supplies by the tracter trailer load. They don’t sell any of the things given to them for their mission warehouse. They give it all back to those in need elsewhere. They also have two greenhouses where they grow beautiful flowers they sell in the spring. This all with 16 aging nuns! They do a lot of retreats out there for local high schoolers preparing for confirmation, they run a small bookstore in their main building, and the list goes on. They do wear a habit, brown of course. One of the sisters, Sister Lucy, was the one that instructed my Dad’s RCIA. She is very sweet and wise older woman. I think that their order would definitely be a good one to consider. You can already tell I’m considering it!

 

[Joyful_1]

Joyful,
Yes it is the one in Independence, MO.! They are such an amazing group of sisters that do so very much for the community and the world. The convent is set on 90 + acres not far from main Independence. They have a mission warehouse where they do amazing work, sending food and various supplies to third world countries and even Native American tribes. They get a lot of donations from hospitals and individuals, so they send out the supplies by the tracter trailer load. They don’t sell any of the things given to them for their mission warehouse. They give it all back to those in need elsewhere. They also have two greenhouses where they grow beautiful flowers they sell in the spring. This all with 16 aging nuns! They do a lot of retreats out there for local high schoolers preparing for confirmation, they run a small bookstore in their main building, and the list goes on. They do wear a habit, brown of course. One of the sisters, Sister Lucy, was the one that instructed my Dad’s RCIA. She is very sweet and wise older woman. I think that their order would definitely be a good one to consider. You can already tell I’m considering it!

Wow! They sound awsome! Wouldn’t it be funny if we both ended up there? That would be two members who aren’t so old. I really should go visit sometime. Of course, I’m only 17 and I just joined the Church a year ago so I won’t be joining very soon, but it is good to know there is a good Franciscan community fairly close. That would make it easier on my mom!

What is their horarium like? Do they pray the LOTH and have daily Adoration or anything like that? How much time each day do they spend praying? I guess I have quite a few questions!

Would you be able to visit your dad if you joined? I would think, if they were an active order they wouldn’t have too much trouble with it. It would be better than that Benedictine order you thinking about before. If I remember right, they were pretty cloistered.

God Bless,
Joyful_1

 

[LydiaW]

Yes, the Benedictine order I have been considering is pretty cloistered. I’m not sure if I would get to visit my Dad if I joined the Franciscan’s, but a few, including Sister Lucy, help out at local churches with their RCIA’s.

I don’t have all the answers to your specific questions, but you could always start a correspondance with the sisters! I know they have Adoration, because they were having it while we were there. I’m not sure if it’s daily, but I think it is.

I joined the church not long ago too (2006), so I at times feel at a disadvantage, but with time I’m catching up with all those cradle catholics. Since your 17, they probably want you to wait at least till 18. I’m not sure though, so as I said, you should call or write them sometime! They are extremely sweet sisters. Last night I heard it said that they need at least 5 new sisters to keep the order going. I really hope they get them, because they do such good work!

It indeed would be wonderfully ironic if we ended up both being there!

 

[scanj05]

My daugther is almost 11 and she is starting to ask questions in regards to becoming a nun. I was wondering if you know of anywhere I can start her search I just became catholic three years ago, so I am really new at this stuff. We have talked to the priest and he said he would get back to her, I think she would love to have a pen pal to ask questions to. We are the only catholics in our family. and she has many questions

You can pm me and I can give you my daugthers info thanks for any help

 

[LydiaW]

Congrats to your daughter as she starts discerning!
Many religious have some desire early on to become one, St. Therese of the Little Flower being a prime example.

My first suggestion would be for the both of you to read up on religious life. Lives of the saints, and so on. Has your daughter expressed interested in a certain order, or is this still too early on for that?

If your daughter would like a penpal, I would be happy to step up to the challenge. I used to have several pen pals at her age, and it can be quite fun.

 

[LydiaW]

There seems to be a new yahoo group for young discerners under 17! : groups.yahoo.com/group/young_vocations/

I’m a bit too old (20), but I hope all of you that are able will enjoy it and benefit.

 

[Joyful_1]

I know I got a lot of help from reading the FAQs on this site. There are also a lot of good articles and meditations.

 

[1234]

Joyful,
Yes it is the one in Independence, MO.! They are such an amazing group of sisters that do so very much for the community and the world. The convent is set on 90 + acres not far from main Independence. They have a mission warehouse where they do amazing work, sending food and various supplies to third world countries and even Native American tribes. They get a lot of donations from hospitals and individuals, so they send out the supplies by the tracter trailer load. They don’t sell any of the things given to them for their mission warehouse. They give it all back to those in need elsewhere. They also have two greenhouses where they grow beautiful flowers they sell in the spring. This all with 16 aging nuns! They do a lot of retreats out there for local high schoolers preparing for confirmation, they run a small bookstore in their main building, and the list goes on. They do wear a habit, brown of course. One of the sisters, Sister Lucy, was the one that instructed my Dad’s RCIA. She is very sweet and wise older woman. I think that their order would definitely be a good one to consider. You can already tell I’m considering it!

You know,ladies that y’all could help this nice order start and maintain a website! Maybe start a blog–post a video or two on YouTube–get things rolling!

An aspirant to the OSB Colwich UK-cloistered-helped them start a blog–it now gets a lot of attention and is encouraging vocations!

 

[Joyful_1]

You know,ladies that y’all could help this nice order start and maintain a website! Maybe start a blog–post a video or two on YouTube–get things rolling!

An aspirant to the OSB Colwich UK-cloistered-helped them start a blog–it now gets a lot of attention and is encouraging vocations!

I was thinking the same thing! We should. Communities with websites get more vocations.

 

[Diamantina]

Anybody here discerning a vocation to life in a secular institute or as a consecrated virgin living in the world? I am 41, a revert of five years’ standing, never married, no kids: my health precludes my entering most religious orders, or from relocating from Southern California.

I am in contact with two secular institutes (the Society of Our Lady of the Way and the Don Bosco Volunteers) and the US Association of Consecrated Virgins. My spiritual director, who is Salesian, thinks that I might have a vocation in the Don Bosco Volunteers – but he would say that, being a Salesian. I am also a Lay Carmelite and don’t want to give that up – I could be a consecrated virgin and a Lay Carmelite, but a Lay Carmelite cannot be a member of another third order, religious order or secular institute. The trouble is that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, where I live, has no consecrated virgins and I’m not sure how favorably Cardinal Mahony looks upon that particular vocation.

 

[kathielee]

Anybody here discerning a vocation to life in a secular institute or as a consecrated virgin living in the world? I am 41, a revert of five years’ standing, never married, no kids: my health precludes my entering most religious orders, or from relocating from Southern California.

I am in contact with two secular institutes (the Society of Our Lady of the Way and the Don Bosco Volunteers) and the US Association of Consecrated Virgins. My spiritual director, who is Salesian, thinks that I might have a vocation in the Don Bosco Volunteers – but he would say that, being a Salesian. I am also a Lay Carmelite and don’t want to give that up – I could be a consecrated virgin and a Lay Carmelite, but a Lay Carmelite cannot be a member of another third order, religious order or secular institute. The trouble is that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, where I live, has no consecrated virgins and I’m not sure how favorably Cardinal Mahony looks upon that particular vocation.

The Diocese of Milwaukee, Wisconsin is quite active in the Rite or Virgins. I would suggest contacting them.

Now, what type of disability would prohibit you from being a nun? I ask that for a reason, not just being nosey.

Kathie

 

[kathielee]

Anybody here discerning a vocation to life in a secular institute or as a consecrated virgin living in the world? I am 41, a revert of five years’ standing, never married, no kids: my health precludes my entering most religious orders, or from relocating from Southern California.

I am in contact with two secular institutes (the Society of Our Lady of the Way and the Don Bosco Volunteers) and the US Association of Consecrated Virgins. My spiritual director, who is Salesian, thinks that I might have a vocation in the Don Bosco Volunteers – but he would say that, being a Salesian. I am also a Lay Carmelite and don’t want to give that up – I could be a consecrated virgin and a Lay Carmelite, but a Lay Carmelite cannot be a member of another third order, religious order or secular institute. The trouble is that the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, where I live, has no consecrated virgins and I’m not sure how favorably Cardinal Mahony looks upon that particular vocation.

benedictinesjc.org/GloriousCross.html
Check this out for monastics with disabilities.

 

[Diamantina]

The Diocese of Milwaukee, Wisconsin is quite active in the Rite or Virgins. I would suggest contacting them.

Now, what type of disability would prohibit you from being a nun? I ask that for a reason, not just being nosey.

Kathie

Christ is risen, dear Kathie!

Milwaukee is a little too far away for me: I do not want to relocate. But I will contact the Diocese and see whether they can get in touch with the Archdiocese of Los Angeles.

I have a history of major depression with psychotic features and need to take antidepressants and antipsychotics every day in order to avoid relapses. I have contacted several orders and congregations, but once I mention my depression, they tell me that religious life in community is not for me.

I think one reason why religious orders tell me so categorically that I am not suited for religious life in community might be the high cost of health insurance for someone with a preexisting condition. Some vocation directors have told me I may have a vocation to life in a secular institute or in the Order of Virgins – and of course, members of secular institutes and consecrated virgins living in the world are responsible for their own health insurance and other needs.

Vale bene in pace Deo!

Diamantina

 

[kathielee]

Christ is risen, dear Kathie!

Milwaukee is a little too far away for me: I do not want to relocate. But I will contact the Diocese and see whether they can get in touch with the Archdiocese of Los Angeles.

I have a history of major depression with psychotic features and need to take antidepressants and antipsychotics every day in order to avoid relapses. I have contacted several orders and congregations, but once I mention my depression, they tell me that religious life in community is not for me.

I think one reason why religious orders tell me so categorically that I am not suited for religious life in community might be the high cost of health insurance for someone with a preexisting condition. Some vocation directors have told me I may have a vocation to life in a secular institute or in the Order of Virgins – and of course, members of secular institutes and consecrated virgins living in the world are responsible for their own health insurance and other needs.

Vale bene in pace Deo!

Diamantina

I don’t think you have to relocate. Virgins live their lives right where they are but the Milwaukee diocese is very active in promoting this rite.

Ah, you have a chemical imbalance. I used to know a priest who did too ! With God all things are possible. And, so are miracles. My prayers are with you dear one!

 

[Alane]

Hello! Adding my voice to everyone else’s. I’m 19 and looking eagerly toward the development of Rosalind Moss’s new order, Daughters of Mary, Mother of Israel’s Hope. (Click here for an interview with Rosalind on St. Louis Catholic blog for more info!) I’m giving myself 4 years of college to discern my call - but whether that’s God’s plan or not is to be discovered. (I hope it is.)

Here’s a question for all the ladies that have posted so far and for those who might join us later: Have any of you felt equally called to life as a religious and a life of marriage and children?
…
One moment I think that I want a husband and children and I want it with all my heart. The next I think that I want to devote myself to religious life and I want that with all my heart.

Ladylinguist, that’s exactly how I feel sometimes. One day - I don’t remember if I was praying, or at church, or listening to the radio - not long ago, I suddenly realized that I want, most of all, to be a mother. Like the way Mary is both kinds of “Mother” - spiritual, like she is to us, and actual, like she was to Jesus - I want to be a mother either way. And really, I want to be a wife - “either way” - like Mary was both kinds of wife! Isn’t Mary called the Spouse of the Holy Spirit? She was also really Joseph’s wife. So either way, I can immerse myself in that image of holy, pure, manifest love for and union with God. Either path God sends me on will fulfill my true desires because all of that already rests in Him.

Rosalind Moss recommended Psalm 37 to those discerning a vocation in a recent interview: “Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

Have any of you guys thought about what name you want to take? … I’ve been thinking about “Mary Veronica”. What about you?

I think I’d like to stick to my Confirmation name (I was confirmed this Easter!): Mary Thomas.