Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

[HOLYHEARTS]

Check out the following; you can remain in your own home &
still be a religious, even using a habit:
Servants of the Sacred Cross (in Canada; but have members in
the USA & Australia, as well.
Also, the Francican Sisters of Mary at:
fsmcharism.net/home.html
May Jesus & Mary guide you in your search…

 

[Carolinagirl411]

I just happened to stumble on this thread and saw several posters in the same situation that I am. I was born and raised Baptist and I always told my friends I would start the first Baptist Convent and be the first Baptist nun…lol I am now Catholic and I started seriously looking into joining an order. The one that stuck out to me was the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecelia…

and Joyful’s earlier post made me laugh when she mentioned them.

I love teaching and I love learning so the Dominican order activities sounded like heaven to me…PLUS I play the harp/violin/handbells and sing…they focus heavily on music as well of course.

I actually contacted several places and was invited to go. Then…I met someone who was unlike any guy I have ever met…I mean I didn’t think guys like that even existed. We got to know each other and after almost a year we are engaged.

I still have second thoughts about where the best place for me to be. I think the idea of being a sister sounds comforting to me. To be able to focus on God and learn and teach would be wonderful but I think God is pulling me towards the vocation of marriage. I said I would never marry unless I met someone who fit certain criteria and right when I seriously looked into the orders God plopped my fiance on my doorstep…literally lol and he fit every single criteria. I figured it couldn’t be a coincidence…

sigh Another thing is that I have my Master’s in Psychology right now on top of a bunch of loans. You can’t join an order until your debts are clear…seeing as I am 24 and they don’t accept anyone over 30…I doubt I can pay off all those loans before then. Another sign?

 

[kathielee]

I just happened to stumble on this thread and saw several posters in the same situation that I am. I was born and raised Baptist and I always told my friends I would start the first Baptist Convent and be the first Baptist nun…lol I am now Catholic and I started seriously looking into joining an order. The one that stuck out to me was the Dominican Sisters of Saint Cecelia…

and Joyful’s earlier post made me laugh when she mentioned them.

With your education, and other posisitve traits you have, even the Dominicans would take these things into consideration. Sometimes when the give the cut off age, they still take people over the age if they determine this person has a strong call.

Have you been in front of the Blessed Sacrament for an hour or so just talking to Jesus about this decision?

Either way…whichever you do, you can and will do it with God first and out of love for Him crucified.

Prayers as you discern.
Kathie

 

[Cran]

Hi Carolinagirl,

concerning your debts and your age, I think this wouldn’t be so much of a problem if you start discerning with a particular communitie soon, so that they know you, can spend time with you, and then they’d probably be more willing to bend the 30-years-rule (I believe it to be a rule of the thumb anyway, not hammered into stone).

But on the other side: If you REALLY want to join, WORK! hard. And much. And spet even less, of course There are some stories of people who have paid of amazing sums in a small time by taking on a second job and living thriftily.

 

[LydiaW]

I was thinking the same thing! We should. Communities with websites get more vocations.

I am sure the sisters would love our enthusiasm for it, if we both ended up joining! Even as we discern, we could volunteer at the convent. As I previously explained, they do a lot of missions work and run a few greenhouses. They need extra hands even to just sort donations that are brought in by the tractor trailer load! They don’t sell any of the things donated for missions. In fact, as far as I can tell, they only sell flowers from the greenhouse and some books from their small religious bookstore. Since most of the nuns there are aging, there is pretty much only a few with the energy to run all of this. It’s so inspiring, and I would definitely be up for going and even just volunteering!

Perhaps even just as a volunteer, one could set up a website for them, with their approval of course.

 

[kathielee]

I am sure the sisters would love our enthusiasm for it, if we both ended up joining! Even as we discern, we could volunteer at the convent. As I previously explained, they do a lot of missions work and run a few greenhouses. They need extra hands even to just sort donations that are brought in by the tractor trailer load! They don’t sell any of the things donated for missions. In fact, as far as I can tell, they only sell flowers from the greenhouse and some books from their small religious bookstore. Since most of the nuns there are aging, there is pretty much only a few with the energy to run all of this. It’s so inspiring, and I would definitely be up for going and even just volunteering!

Perhaps even just as a volunteer, one could set up a website for them, with their approval of course.

Which order of sisters is this?
Kathie

 

[nicolep]

Although I have only posted once, I’ve enjoyed reading all the posts.

I’m starting to get really frustrated with the opposition I’m getting from other people. I haven’t kept my discernment a secret and I haven’t made some big announcement either. I’m in the very early stages. There isn’t much to announce.

It seems that all of my family and friends are trying to point out all of the reasons it would be a bad idea. I have been gently stating my reasons for discerning. I feel God calling me that way. I’m going to see this through. If it doesn’t work that will be okay. I won’t have any regrets if I try. I will have regrets if I “give in” because it seems too difficult.

Do any of you have the some sort of problem? It isn’t discouraging me at this point, but I’m getting tired of all of the negativity. It’s just exhausting. I’m already struggling with a job I don’t particularly care for at the moment. I’m making the best of it and I’m thankful I have a job. I just feel like there’s something more for me.

I also wonder if any of you feel similar to me on another topic. There are times that I don’t feel that I’m “good enough” to be a Sister. I know humans are prone to sin. It’s not a justification, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be one of those women who can go to confession once a season like the other Sisters I know. I make it about two weeks before I start messing up. I’m definitely a work in progress! I’m trying. I wonder if it will ever be enough.

Thanks for “listening” to my long ramble. Frustration has reared its ugly head.

God bless,
Nicole

 

[Carolinagirl411]

Do any of you have the some sort of problem? It isn’t discouraging me at this point, but I’m getting tired of all of the negativity. It’s just exhausting. I’m already struggling with a job I don’t particularly care for at the moment. I’m making the best of it and I’m thankful I have a job. I just feel like there’s something more for me.

I also wonder if any of you feel similar to me on another topic. There are times that I don’t feel that I’m “good enough” to be a Sister. I know humans are prone to sin. It’s not a justification, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be one of those women who can go to confession once a season like the other Sisters I know. I make it about two weeks before I start messing up. I’m definitely a work in progress! I’m trying. I wonder if it will ever be enough.

Thanks for “listening” to my long ramble. Frustration has reared its ugly head.

God bless,
Nicole

That is understandable…the frustration I mean…When I mentioned to my closest friends my thoughts on becoming a sister they laughed at me and used it as a party joke and whenever they met anyone new they would say, “Hey! Guess what, we just heard the funniest thing, C wants to be a nun!! HA HAHAHAHAHAHAH” Like it was some big joke. Their reasoning for me not to be one was that I couldn’t have sex…big whoop. Don’t let the negativity get you down. If that is where God is leading you, HE is the only one that matters. If you feel that constant pull more than likely He is leading you. You need to visit and see how much you like it. Don’t be miserable just b/c your friends don’t understand! You are following Christ here!

As far as not being good enough, do not even think that. Most of the people that join the order sin just as much as you and I but due to their lives as sisters/monks they become closer to God and are able to develop the strength to sin less. It takes time and that is why there are stages to becoming a sister. Take heart in Christ’s loving mercy and grace!

 

[nicolep]

C -

Thanks for the reply and so quickly!

The no sex things seems so important to everyone else. I just don’t care about sex…never have.

I have people making fun of me, too. My office manager will make the Sign of the Cross with a goofy look on her face whenever she says or does something in front of me that’s off-color. That’s on top of the comments because I go to Mass everyday. I don’t mind the jokes really. I feel blessed. I pray they find the same peace and faith someday.

I am scheduled to spend a weekend at a Benedictine Community at the end of June. I’m really excited about the next step of my journey. I plan on going to another couple of places as well.

Thanks for the advice! I need the “pick me up”.

God bless,
Nicole

 

[LydiaW]

Which order of sisters is this?
Kathie

I’m not exactly sure of the full name of the order off of the top of my head, but they are the only Franciscan convent in Independence, Missouri. It’s not too far from the historic Independence area, but is set back from the main roads. It feels very peaceful and secluded, even just visiting there.

As for our other topic, I must say I know how it is to be made fun of for your faith. I haven’t yet been made fun of for my discerning a religious life, but I was and still get made fun of for being a Catholic. I was raised protestant, so a good part of my family doesn’t understand why I would want to be Catholic. I think people most often poke fun at things they don’t understand.

Our trials are for the good though! One of things I have heard said by many a female member of my family is “You are earning jewels in your crown”, that crown being our heavenly crown of course. I like to think that every trial and hardship only brings us even more glory in heaven. We may struggle here on earth with even the basics, have others scorn us, and feel down in general, but there is God’s glory on the other side of the hardship! Isn’t interesting that most often, those who do something truly great and wonderful with their lives, many saints are a good example, went through many faith testing trials to get there?

I know I often have my faith shaken and tested, and at times feel that the trials in my life are impossible to get through. But it’s amazing how God will give us encouragement, even in the smallest forms, at our lowest moments. Whether it be an obvious answer to prayer, spending time with a loved one, or just getting the last cookie, he’s always there. Thats something thats encouraging to know. Despite what choice we may make, religious or secular lives, he is always there for us.

 

[kathielee]

Although I have only posted once, I’ve enjoyed reading all the posts.

I’m starting to get really frustrated with the opposition I’m getting from other people. I haven’t kept my discernment a secret and I haven’t made some big announcement either. I’m in the very early stages. There isn’t much to announce.

It seems that all of my family and friends are trying to point out all of the reasons it would be a bad idea. I have been gently stating my reasons for discerning. I feel God calling me that way. I’m going to see this through. If it doesn’t work that will be okay. I won’t have any regrets if I try. I will have regrets if I “give in” because it seems too difficult.

Do any of you have the some sort of problem? It isn’t discouraging me at this point, but I’m getting tired of all of the negativity. It’s just exhausting. I’m already struggling with a job I don’t particularly care for at the moment. I’m making the best of it and I’m thankful I have a job. I just feel like there’s something more for me.

I also wonder if any of you feel similar to me on another topic. There are times that I don’t feel that I’m “good enough” to be a Sister. I know humans are prone to sin. It’s not a justification, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be one of those women who can go to confession once a season like the other Sisters I know. I make it about two weeks before I start messing up. I’m definitely a work in progress! I’m trying. I wonder if it will ever be enough.

Thanks for “listening” to my long ramble. Frustration has reared its ugly head.

God bless,
Nicole

Yes, many many people go through this including many a saint !!

If you don’t have a spiritual director, you really should have one to help you discern all this so you aren’t alone. It makes a world of difference and if you have a true calling to religious life. your spiritual director can help you achieve it.

St. Benedict wrote his Rule “for beginners.” He knew full well that we are all beginners…sinners…and it’s a journey all through life in working towards heaven.

Kathie

 

[nicolep]

If you don’t have a spiritual director, you really should have one to help you discern all this so you aren’t alone. It makes a world of difference and if you have a true calling to religious life. your spiritual director can help you achieve it.

Where does one get a spritual director? It sounds like a great idea! I just don’t know where to start.

Thanks for all of the help!

God bless,
Nicole

 

[nicolep]

Lydia -

I, too, was raised by in a Protestant Church. Surprisingly, I’ve received the most joking from fellow-Catholic friends/co-workers. I wouldn’t call these people the most devout Catholic’s in the world. My office manager has done the most picking. Although, she admits that she hasn’t been to Mass in a long time. Like I mentioned, it’s just frustrating. I just want to say, “Alright, you can leave me alone about it now!” It’s also part of my personality. I would never intentionally make fun of someone about something they are passionate about…I might not agree and my opinion would be offered if solicated. I like Kathie’s idea of a spiritual director. Someone to discuss my concerns and vent frustrations to would be fabulous!

God bless,
Nicole

 

[kathielee]

Where does one get a spritual director? It sounds like a great idea! I just don’t know where to start.

Thanks for all of the help!

God bless,
Nicole

You can ask a good priest near you whether he is your parish priest or another parish. But, any nun, sister, friar, or monk is always a good idea too because parish priests are so very busy. In fact, alot of Franciscans (nuns and friars) are also very very busy. Do you have a Benedictine monastery near you? Carmelites? Poor Clairs? Even if you feel that you want to be a part of an active group, cloistered nuns and monks make wonderful spiritual directors and can affirm your active calling. On the other hand, if you feel very contemplative, a Franciscan can confirm your calling.

I could not ask my parish priest because he is too busy. I asked a Franciscan friar who was too busy. My spiritual director is a Trappist monk and he is just terrific.

Pray pray pray asking God to direct you and then start making phone calls. God will lead you from there.

Kathie

 

[franciscanhobbi]

C -

Thanks for the reply and so quickly!

The no sex things seems so important to everyone else. I just don’t care about sex…never have.

I have people making fun of me, too. My office manager will make the Sign of the Cross with a goofy look on her face whenever she says or does something in front of me that’s off-color. That’s on top of the comments because I go to Mass everyday. I don’t mind the jokes really. I feel blessed. I pray they find the same peace and faith someday.

I am scheduled to spend a weekend at a Benedictine Community at the end of June. I’m really excited about the next step of my journey. I plan on going to another couple of places as well.

Thanks for the advice! I need the “pick me up”.

God bless,
Nicole

The office manager is creating a “hostile environment” which should get her disciplined, if not fired! If anyone were to disrespect any other of the privileged groups of today in the manner you describe, they would be at extreme risk for a lawsuit and more. Is there a safe way to report her?

 

[nicolep]

The office manager is creating a “hostile environment” which should get her disciplined, if not fired! If anyone were to disrespect any other of the privileged groups of today in the manner you describe, they would be at extreme risk for a lawsuit and more. Is there a safe way to report her?

I’m in a very small office. I could say something to the president, but he wouldn’t do anything except tell her I asked her to stop. It’s not worth it to me at this point. She has backed down some since I told her that I was going through this process with or without anyone else’s approval. Also, the fact that I don’t let it bother me on the surface (there’s no way I’d show it to her) has calmed things down some.

I didn’t intend for everyone at work to find out. She asked me a direct question (If I was going to become a nun). So I answered honestly. Ah well, it’s sad really that she just doesn’t get it.

Kathie - Thanks for the info on the spritual director. I’ll look into finding one.

God bless,
Nicole

 

[LydiaW]

Well, I made a step forward as I discern my vocation. I contacted a Bendictine order in the area, and got some info back from them a few days ago. I felt that I wanted to know more about this order as I continue my discernment.

I felt such joy getting the packet from them, and though I haven’t mailed back the enclosed questionaire yet, I’m considering it. I’m still considering the Franciscans though, so nothing is definite.

 

[Carolinagirl411]

I can’t be a sister since I decided to pursue the marriage vocation. After much prayer I have realized this is the path for me…however, I have looked into becoming a third order lay Dominican. I am very excited about it and I am awaiting more information from them.

 

[LydiaW]

Thats great news C!
I’m happy to hear you have discerned your path. Congrats! :extrahappy:

 

[KiraSana]

I sympathize with your position. I recently entered into full communion with the Catholic Church - I was raised evangelical. I started discerning my vocation several months ago and did not intend to tell people, especially my family; they were having enough issues with me entering the Church. However, my mom point-blank asked me one day, and I couldn’t lie to her. I, too, am working in a job I like, but it’s not my heart’s desire to do forever. But one thing I am learning is to be grateful for the provision God makes and to faithfully do the work God gives us today.

I would second the recommendation to find a good spiritual director. Not only are you able to share your frustrations and struggles with someone you can trust, you also benefit from their wisdom and direction. Just keep in mind that you are trusting your soul to another person, so discern who God would have for you carefully and with much prayer.

As for your second issue regarding confession and sin, the saints constantly fell on their faces before God in tears for their sins and encouraged others to do the same. I have been reading many of the saints about this issue and knowing ourselves and how unworthy we are before God. Only in truly knowing ourselves can we grow in God’s grace and love. This is not about being so down on ourselves we are depressed or despair over our sins, rather it is about growing in humility so we may be open to the Holy Spirit and His grace. The Church encourages frequent confession; in fact, Pope Pius XII went daily and Pope John Paul II went weekly. If the saints and popes felt the need to go to confession so often, there must be something to that.

My prayers are with you!