Thread for Women Discerning Religious Life

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Poor_Clare_tobe said:
How wonderful for you as you begin your vocation journey!

Perhaps you might share in the forums which communities you visited? What types of questions you might have asked the various sisters? How you might have narrowed your search to the Carmelites or Poor Clares???

What types of questions did the sisters ask you? What has helped you in your discernment process? I know you might be at the start however for many in the forums it helps to hear the different journeys, that each of us take…

Blessings to you,

Sr. Debbie, OSC

[And as a personal aside… which Poor Clare Communities did you visit?]
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Hi, yes of course I would love to share! I visited the Poor Clare nuns in Barhamsville, Virginia. I asked Mother Abbess so many questions about religious life, dicernment and knowing how to listen to God’s voice. I asked her about their life as well. I remember her asking me if I knew anything about the Poor Clares or Saints Francis and Clare. I told her I only knew a little bit about them. So she of course went on to tell me everything! I think what has really helped me in my discernment was being able to be still and listen to the voice of God guiding me and having that time alone with him during my monastery visits. Because without the silence how can one listen to anything that God might be telling them deep within their heart and soul? It is one thing to be away from silence, but it is another thing to completely be silent from within. Forget your desires for a minute or two, and just listen to the Lord’s desires for you. And then once you’ve listened to all that He has to say, take a moment and just answer Him.

When I first started discerning with the Carmelites I was so intent on entering that order. But things changed when I moved and suddenly found myself in a dry spot in my discernment. I had no idea what He wanted from me. I felt as if I was calling myself to the Carmelites. I really didn’t as much experience as I do now. But I never gave up on my vocation, I just felt like I needed to search for differnent orders. I remember when I was about 11 or 12 my mom would keep saying to me, “So, are you going to be my little Poor Clare?” I of course had no idea what a Poor Clare was. But I remembered that and so I decided to finally get an idea of who they were. I looked them up and the first website I came across was the Bethlehem monastery in Virginia. I suddelny had this urge to email Mother and a few days later I got a reply back from her. In that insant I started to cry tears of joy. For some reason I just felt this joy inside me. I told my mom and a few days later Mother Abbess and I scheduled my first visit the a monastery without my mom. (When I was eleven my mom took my sister and I to a Benedictine monastery for three days.) I got to stay in their little guest house. It was great but also a huge wake up call, reality set in and I actually found myself kind of distraught, and sad. But nevertheless, all of my visits, though they were filled with tears and doubt, in the end I always felt peacful. I remember feeling a great desire to go back everytime I would leave the monastery. But things back at home weren’t always so great. I was distracted and the devil found ways to pull me away from my vocation and for a while I wasn’t really going anywhere. The devil convinced me that I wasn’t being called. I of course solved this by going to confession. After that confession I felt myself even more attracted to my vocation and needed to do everything I could to stay away from the devil and focus on God. He is my guide, not the devil. Here recently I have been discerning with another order, the Benedictines of Mary Queen of the Apostles in Missouri. But I don’t feel that God is calling me, I realize that I just was attracted to that order, and it could have been the devil trying to make me procrastinate. I think it was God showing me what it would look like if I made the desicions, but it really isn’t my choice. Yes, God puts a desire and an intrest in your heart but sometimes you need to listen to the Lord’s desires for you, He knows you more than you do. I’ve learned from a friend who is a postulant at the Poor Clare monastery, that you shouldn’t follow your feelings, you should let your feelings follow you.

Well I hope I’ve answered your questions. If you have anymore, feel free to ask. 😃

God bless!
 
saintrose said:
Hi, yes of course I would love to share! I visited the Poor Clare nuns in Barhamsville, Virginia. I asked Mother Abbess so many questions about religious life, dicernment and knowing how to listen to God’s voice. I asked her about their life as well. I remember her asking me if I knew anything about the Poor Clares or Saints Francis and Clare. I told her I only knew a little bit about them. So she of course went on to tell me everything! I think what has really helped me in my discernment was being able to be still and listen to the voice of God guiding me and having that time alone with him during my monastery visits. Because without the silence how can one listen to anything that God might be telling them deep within their heart and soul? It is one thing to be away from silence, but it is another thing to completely be silent from within. Forget your desires for a minute or two, and just listen to the Lord’s desires for you. And then once you’ve listened to all that He has to say, take a moment and just answer Him.

When I first started discerning with the Carmelites I was so intent on entering that order. But things changed when I moved and suddenly found myself in a dry spot in my discernment. I had no idea what He wanted from me. I felt as if I was calling myself to the Carmelites. I really didn’t as much experience as I do now. But I never gave up on my vocation, I just felt like I needed to search for differnent orders. I remember when I was about 11 or 12 my mom would keep saying to me, “So, are you going to be my little Poor Clare?” I of course had no idea what a Poor Clare was. But I remembered that and so I decided to finally get an idea of who they were. I looked them up and the first website I came across was the Bethlehem monastery in Virginia. I suddelny had this urge to email Mother and a few days later I got a reply back from her. In that insant I started to cry tears of joy. For some reason I just felt this joy inside me. I told my mom and a few days later Mother Abbess and I scheduled my first visit the a monastery without my mom. (When I was eleven my mom took my sister and I to a Benedictine monastery for three days.) I got to stay in their little guest house. It was great but also a huge wake up call, reality set in and I actually found myself kind of distraught, and sad. But nevertheless, all of my visits, though they were filled with tears and doubt, in the end I always felt peacful. I remember feeling a great desire to go back everytime I would leave the monastery. But things back at home weren’t always so great. I was distracted and the devil found ways to pull me away from my vocation and for a while I wasn’t really going anywhere. The devil convinced me that I wasn’t being called. I of course solved this by going to confession. After that confession I felt myself even more attracted to my vocation and needed to do everything I could to stay away from the devil and focus on God. He is my guide, not the devil. Here recently I have been discerning with another order, the Benedictines of Mary Queen of the Apostles in Missouri. But I don’t feel that God is calling me, I realize that I just was attracted to that order, and it could have been the devil trying to make me procrastinate. I think it was God showing me what it would look like if I made the desicions, but it really isn’t my choice. Yes, God puts a desire and an intrest in your heart but sometimes you need to listen to the Lord’s desires for you, He knows you more than you do. I’ve learned from a friend who is a postulant at the Poor Clare monastery, that you shouldn’t follow your feelings, you should let your feelings follow you.

Well I hope I’ve answered your questions. If you have anymore, feel free to ask. 😃

God bless!
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Oops, I meant to say in that one part, it is one thing to be away from “noise”. Not silence. So it is one thing to be away from noise, and it is another thing to completely be silent from within.
 
Hi,
I just found this thread, but it looks like a good one so I’m going to jump in late anyways.

I’m 17 and have just started seriously discerning this summer.
I believe I’m called to work with young people so I’m looking at orders that work as teachers.
 
Hi everyone,😃
Since i was 14-15 i had a desire to cover my head, at first i thought “chapel veil?”… but after buying one i knew that that was definitely not it. I started questioning if my calling was to be a nun or not. Because every time i would see a nun my heart would pained because i wanted what the had so baldy and i would also get a bit jealous because they are so close to Jesus and they are also married to him 😊. Sometime later, i started watching videos of different religious orders on YT and a fell in love with the Carmelites. There were night where i would dream about entering a convent and receiving my veil… i could see my self as a Carmelite nun! but then i started thinking about my parents. They are both old now (my dad’s 68 and my mom’s 62) and they are always getting sick. I’m scare about what’s going to happen to them. My older siblings care very little about our parents, and at times they talk bad about them too…as if they were a burden to them. So i force myself to think that once i get a boyfriend (i’ve never dated) these thoughts will go away. I’m going to get marry have kids and just become active in the church so i can be close to Jesus…But to be honest i don’t think i ever want to get marry or have kids. I don’t “desired it”. I’m so confused, and I get scare because i think that if God wants me for him i’m clearly disobeying him. I don’t want to leave my parents, but there are days when i feel like hugging Jesus and never letting go :bighanky:
 
PHSshamrock said:
Hi,
I just found this thread, but it looks like a good one so I’m going to jump in late anyways.

I’m 17 and have just started seriously discerning this summer.
I believe I’m called to work with young people so I’m looking at orders that work as teachers.
Click to expand...
Www.sistersofmary.org is a teaching order.
 
Hello! I am 16, turning 17 in february! Im already going to graduate and I want to enter with the Servants of the Lord and of the Virgen of Matara! #SSVM sisters
It is truly a beautiful apostolate (:

If you’re looking for a Apostolic Congregation I recommend this one!
I will leave the website here:
Www.ssvmusa.org

God bless you all!
 
😦 Well, I turn 60 on Sunday, but that is not the reason for the sad face. I think it is that I have finally come to face realities of life, who I am and, most importantly, that I have discerned God’s will for me. I believe that I have been spending my life trying to hear what I want to hear and twisting my thinking into believing that what I want for myself is not what God wants or wanted.

Early in life, I thought He wanted me to be a wife and mother. That life’s dream was dashed in an expeditious fashion. I was obviously not pretty or smart enough. I have no recognizable talents. After hundreds of failed attempts to find a mate, I began to think that perhaps God wanted me in the religious life. But in my late teens and early twenties, I did not think myself good enough.

Decades later, I have come to realize that the thoughts about my character, personality, talents or lack of were the truth. What do I have to offer ANYONE? I made a disastrous marriage and had a special needs daughter, who is 32 and still in need of much support. I have not been the mother that she needs. I adopted a child as a single parent, because I was so discouraged about consecrated life, in community and in secular institutes. She is 21 and in college. Both girls are devout Catholics, although the latter says that she is gay, she insists that she would never act on anything that would displease God. Let’s see how long that lasts (coming not from a cynic, but a human). But both have questioned why I had children when I should not have. I have no answer, except that I am selfish.

My latest endeavor, The Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene is a bust. No one is really interested. I am obviously no leader and have a hard time affecting formation with women from across the country. And probably most significant, those who have been thought of as “my detractors or naysayers” along with my own misgivings about myself, is the truth. I cannot spiritually guide a grasshopper. To the human eye, I am very unappealing and whether folks admit it or not, it affects personal interactions. I have made horrible choices in life. I have not lived the life in Imitation of Christ. I simply have nothing to offer.

Both of my spiritual directors have retired. There is nothing established nor forming that would accept me; there is not any charism that addresses my needs. My very first extreme adversary in the pursuit of religious life thought so little of me that when I asked for him to give me a recommendation, it was filled with untruths, half truths and effectively tainted my reputation to the point that I was wholly rejected. Not to blame it all on this priest. He is an excellent religious scholar and brilliant homilist. I have made some of my own notorious mistakes in judgment, so that sunk me as well.

I am finished pursuing a life as a bride of Christ. I am not worthy. I do not know what I am supposed to be anywhere or with anything. My mobility is going quickly. I can barely walk and in a wheelchair so much of the time (it’s funny, I used to work with a bunch who used to make jokes about my faking having difficulty walking. I wish their jokes were true). My income is meager and no, there are no programs for someone my age to assist me. I am trying very hard now to keep a roof over my daughter’s and my head. I don’t want to live in my minivan, but that reality is looming ever so close. Bottom line, I am the least of God’s servants and somehow, I suppose I will live for as long I am supposed to, but it will have been a worthless one, in my opinion. Ah well, not trying to be pitiful, but realistic. I have nothing to really contribute to this noble conversation. Peace to all in discernment.🤓
 
irisfromohio said:
😦 Well, I turn 60 on Sunday, but that is not the reason for the sad face. I think it is that I have finally come to face realities of life, who I am and, most importantly, that I have discerned God’s will for me. I believe that I have been spending my life trying to hear what I want to hear and twisting my thinking into believing that what I want for myself is not what God wants or wanted.

Early in life, I thought He wanted me to be a wife and mother. That life’s dream was dashed in an expeditious fashion. I was obviously not pretty or smart enough. I have no recognizable talents. After hundreds of failed attempts to find a mate, I began to think that perhaps God wanted me in the religious life. But in my late teens and early twenties, I did not think myself good enough.

Decades later, I have come to realize that the thoughts about my character, personality, talents or lack of were the truth. What do I have to offer ANYONE? I made a disastrous marriage and had a special needs daughter, who is 32 and still in need of much support. I have not been the mother that she needs. I adopted a child as a single parent, because I was so discouraged about consecrated life, in community and in secular institutes. She is 21 and in college. Both girls are devout Catholics, although the latter says that she is gay, she insists that she would never act on anything that would displease God. Let’s see how long that lasts (coming not from a cynic, but a human). But both have questioned why I had children when I should not have. I have no answer, except that I am selfish.

My latest endeavor, The Oblate Sisters of Mary Magdalene is a bust. No one is really interested. I am obviously no leader and have a hard time affecting formation with women from across the country. And probably most significant, those who have been thought of as “my detractors or naysayers” along with my own misgivings about myself, is the truth. I cannot spiritually guide a grasshopper. To the human eye, I am very unappealing and whether folks admit it or not, it affects personal interactions. I have made horrible choices in life. I have not lived the life in Imitation of Christ. I simply have nothing to offer.

Both of my spiritual directors have retired. There is nothing established nor forming that would accept me; there is not any charism that addresses my needs. My very first extreme adversary in the pursuit of religious life thought so little of me that when I asked for him to give me a recommendation, it was filled with untruths, half truths and effectively tainted my reputation to the point that I was wholly rejected. Not to blame it all on this priest. He is an excellent religious scholar and brilliant homilist. I have made some of my own notorious mistakes in judgment, so that sunk me as well.

I am finished pursuing a life as a bride of Christ. I am not worthy. I do not know what I am supposed to be anywhere or with anything. My mobility is going quickly. I can barely walk and in a wheelchair so much of the time (it’s funny, I used to work with a bunch who used to make jokes about my faking having difficulty walking. I wish their jokes were true). My income is meager and no, there are no programs for someone my age to assist me. I am trying very hard now to keep a roof over my daughter’s and my head. I don’t want to live in my minivan, but that reality is looming ever so close. Bottom line, I am the least of God’s servants and somehow, I suppose I will live for as long I am supposed to, but it will have been a worthless one, in my opinion. Ah well, not trying to be pitiful, but realistic. I have nothing to really contribute to this noble conversation. Peace to all in discernment.🤓
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Iris

Your post worries me because you seem to be suffering from severe depression and grief. Obviously your circumstances are making life difficult for you, but please seek some kind of help, either from a counselor or a doctor. Things often look darkest just before they get better. God does love you and worthiness isn’t an issue for Him - no one is worthy - that’s why Jesus offered Himself to ransom us. Just hang in there and please seek professional help.

My prayers are with you.
 
I am actively looking for women, both Catholic and Protestant, seriously interested in joining an order of Sisters with a healing vocation. The Order of St. Hildegard of Bingen welcomes married and single women interested in a life dedicated to the healing ministries of Jesus Christ.
Feel free to visit healingorderofsthildegard.wordpress.com/ for more information.

Peace and Grace in your discernment,
Sr. Evangeline
 
SrEvangeline said:
I am actively looking for women, both Catholic and Protestant, seriously interested in joining an order of Sisters with a healing vocation. The Order of St. Hildegard of Bingen welcomes married and single women interested in a life dedicated to the healing ministries of Jesus Christ.
Feel free to visit healingorderofsthildegard.wordpress.com/ for more information.

Peace and Grace in your discernment,
Sr. Evangeline
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Dear Evangeline
While I commend your enthusiasm and desire to serve others, your community is not in alignment with the teaching of the Magisterium because you allow sisters to be in same-sex relationships. It would not even be an acceptable lay community for Catholics because of this. So although you welcome Catholics, any Catholic who joined you would be putting themselves in conflict with the Church.
 
I am 18 years old, and I am looking at the Sisters of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary, a convent in Czech Republic (Sestry od Sv. Cyrila a Metodej), and Sisters of the Adorers of the Precious Blood…
I have interactions with the Sisters of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary almost everyday here on campus, and the other two Convents I hope to visit over the next few summers!

God is good, all the time!!! 🙂
 
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