Three Principals For Honoring Your Husband

[thewanderer]

PLEASE! Explain to me how two people can both have the final say? Your husband is responsible. You do not have to believe that. You BOTH are equal in dignity…you never had the same roles! If I could BE a mother, I would have adopted years ago!

I think you really haven’t understood what I am saying or else you would not react in such a way. Of course two people cannot both have the final say in any particular decision. Either the two come to a compromise, or one of them lets the other decide. I’m really not sure why you seem to be upset by what I have written.

My point was to show AA8 how ridiculous it is to claim that just because a husband has final say more often than the wife they are unequal, I was in no way, shape, or form claiming that they are unequal.

 

[judcargile]

I eat humble pie everyday being a mom and wife. I go without a lot for the happiness of my family. I am not submissive…it’s just not who I am. My family unit is working out great. I don’t need to be humbled.

You are very concerned with other people…just concentrate on your own journey and you’ll be a lot happier.

I am woman…hear me roar…well…my kids definitely hear it every now and then

Sounds idealic, I am sure! now read the post above this one! It IS a two way street, sort of,

 

[Serap]

I think you really haven’t understood what I am saying or else you would not react in such a way. Of course two people cannot both have the final say in any particular decision. Either the two come to a compromise, or one of them lets the other decide. I’m really not sure why you seem to be upset by what I have written.

My point was to show AA8 how ridiculous it is to claim that just because a husband has final say more often than the wife they are unequal, I was in no way, shape, or form claiming that they are unequal.

me thinks judcargile has a deeper personal story that has prompted him to be so passionate about this topic.

power to him!

 

[judcargile]

I think you really haven’t understood what I am saying or else you would not react in such a way. Of course two people cannot both have the final say in any particular decision. Either the two come to a compromise, or one of them lets the other decide. I’m really not sure why you seem to be upset by what I have written.

My point was to show AA8 how ridiculous it is to claim that just because a husband has final say more often than the wife they are unequal, I was in no way, shape, or form claiming that they are unequal.

The husband is responsible…regardless of his ability, interest or performance. You will not have to answer for it, HE will!

 

[28562]

*sub·mis·sive   /səbˈmɪsɪv/ Show Spelled[suhb-mis-iv] Show IPA
adjective

1. inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient: submissive servants.
2. marked by or indicating submission: a submissive reply. *

I am not obedient to my husband. I am not a submissive servant. I’m just not the submissive type of person. My marriage is working out great. I’ve always been an extremely outspoken person.

I just backdown sometimes for the sake of the kids and our peace. If that’s submissive (I call it being diplomatic), then I guess I can be submissive at times. Hubby has a temper and if he’s being irrational, I just go “yeah you’re right” so we can move on and enjoy our day.

You are still taking it so negatively! I wonder if God’s definition is different than Webster?

I asked my wife over dinner last night what she thought it meant in the context in which it is written. Her first thought was that it’s main meaning is respect. I would have to agree with her on that. And if you really think that the next few verses that tell husbands how to love their wives doesn’t sound a tad like submission, then maybe you should think about how Christ loves his church some more!

My wife grew up protestant and she said that in the protestant churches, they never even mention the part about how husbands are supposed to love their wives…only the part about wives being submissive…but that’s ok…as Catholics, we don’t exactly agree with the way protestants interpret the Bible, do we?

I really must have missed the posts in this thread where people advocated wives bowing down and following their husbands every whim. Maybe someone can point them out so I know who everyone is arguing with…

 

[28562]

Men, who are called to serve as husbands and fathers, I pray that you find these words and may the seeds be planted in the hearts of all men that will hear you. It was the destruction of the family that has destroyed this nation in the US and your virtue (Latin word meaning “to be a man.”) will break any sword.
You have the duty to serve, firstly your wife; yet, you do not know your role!
You are her Savior!
You are her Sanctifier!
You are her Satisfier!
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Christ showed His love in SACRIFICE, SUFFERING and SUBSTITUTION.
Sacrificing for Your Wife by his command and example, He gave Himself up for The Holy Mother Church, The Bride of Christ! Your love should be cruciform-in the shape of a cross. It is NOT about wearing a crown and being King of our castle. He wore a crown of THORNS first and then the cross came before His glory! Is the sacrificial way you love your wife obvious in ANY way? Men love to rap, rap, rap about their love and sound SO impressive about how we are going to protect them and even die if need be. Who do you personally know anyone who has actually taken a bullet? Can you nail your desires and agenda to the cross and love our wives and meet her needs? The sacrifice has to go beyond words…she HAS to see you walk that walk!
To sanctify something is to set it apart from ordinary use for a special purpose. God takes ordinary objects and peoples and sanctifies them for His Glory. They are set apart from their past and unto the future He would wish for them. You made promises to your wife (or will) about her future, are you just parroting words? Again, the Bride of Christ, His Body, and The Church is disconnected from a past of sin and through His grace we are made obedient to His given law and will. The process of this transformation was manifested through His death and until you die to yourself and leave your worldly desires in the world you should be disconnected from, you are not the example that Christ gave; you are just talking a good talk! If a man does not work, he should not eat…seeing how Hollywood, the TV and the ‘street’ are the antithesis of the truth?
Satisfying the needs of your wife as Christ does for His Church is probably a little harder than any of us thought it would be. “C’mon, I had NO IDEA that she was THAT needy!” Well, you talked such a good game while you were trying to win her over…but, you did not realize that you were going to have to become a servant to learn how to become the leader. Christ washed the feet of His Apostles giving us the example to do as He has done. Do not wait around for your wives to serve you, set the example in your home by being the one who serves!

It’s pretty amazing that this was posted in another thread and it’s not 9 pages.

After all, all it says it that we men are REQUIRED to serve and sacrifice everything we have and are for our wife. How did not even one man get all bent out of shape about this and complain for 9 pages about how we don’t like what God tells us to do?

 

[judcargile]

I eat humble pie everyday being a mom and wife. I go without a lot for the happiness of my family. I am not submissive…it’s just not who I am. My family unit is working out great. I don’t need to be humbled.

You are very concerned with other people…just concentrate on your own journey and you’ll be a lot happier.

I am woman…hear me roar…well…my kids definitely hear it every now and then

I can assure you that the broken family has ruined this country and that IS my business. I have carried a rifle two times on foreign soil in defense of this country and I just happen to care if it lives or dies…look around, conventional wisdom is like peer pressure! And it is killing ALL of us!

 

[judcargile]

me thinks judcargile has a deeper personal story that has prompted him to be so passionate about this topic.

power to him!

Are you on the pill?

You wanted to get deeper and personal, so let’s play. But you have to tell the t-r-u-t-h!!!

 

[thewanderer]

The husband is responsible…regardless of his ability, interest or performance. You will not have to answer for it, HE will!

I honestly have no idea how this reply has anything to do with what I’ve said.

 

[Serap]

Are you on the pill?

You wanted to get deeper and personal, so let’s play. But you have to tell the t-r-u-t-h!!!

LMAO!!! What kind of pill are we talking about? I take vitamin pills everday

Well if you have physically fought for your country, then that is a valid reason for feeling extreme passion about this topic. I honestly don’t give it a lot of thought…I’m just committed to making my marriage a long-term success…submissive or not.

To your question, no I’m not on the pill I’m not taking any patches or injections either.

 

[Emmelia]

I want respect too…just sayin’

I know what I think and how I feel.

My husband also wants to be the one and only.

I think each marriage has different dynamics and one size does not fit all. What is missing in today’s society is not women being submissive, it’s 2 people failing to be committed to a life-long committment. No one wants to sacrifice for the betterment of their family. Men and women have become very materialistic and selfish.

Well said!
I know what I think too. And my husband is perfectly aware of how he feels. I hope we are not going against God’s plan…

 

[Serap]

I honestly have no idea how this reply has anything to do with what I’ve said.

I think I’m starting to “get” what he’s saying. He is saying that many men have philandered in their marriages and have not put in 100% (in modern society).

I agree with him on that. When a man marries and has kids, it’s for life…it’s not until I get bored or until I become passive aggressive and prompt my wife to file for divorce. If the man “mans up” and fulfills his obligations, the wife (theoretically) would respect him more and would in turn be more open to his needs and wants (hence submission).

 

[judcargile]

AA8,

Are you really saying that if the husdand has the final say then the wife is not equal?
So if I were, out of love and as a sign of respect to my husband, let him make the final decision on many matters that would affect our family I would lose my equality with him? In order for me to be equal I need to ensure that we each get the final say the exact ssame number of times?

I sure hope that all you mean is that if a woman is forced into submitting there is something wrong with that. Yes, it is wrong to force a woman to give up her say in something simply because she’s a woman. And while there are people that still try to force their wife into submission, or who mistakenly believe that the Catholic Church teaches that all women must always let their husbands have the final say, there are a lot of people who love the idea of giving up their say in certain matters as a sign of love for their spouse, and this is a beautiful thing. And as I said before, I haven’t seen anything yet which implies that anyone who spoke of submission as a good thing think that women should all be forced to submit just because they are women.

Honestly, after page two, I was in a “tizzy” and I apologize. No, oppresion and submission are two entirely different acts. The husband can never ask his spouse to committ a sin, for instance and a good husband will always consider what his wife has to say on anything. Only a fool thinks he is always right; But, sometimes compromise is just not an option.

 

[judcargile]

I think I’m starting to “get” what he’s saying. He is saying that many men have philandered in their marriages and have not put in 100% (in modern society).

I agree with him on that. When a man marries and has kids, it’s for life…it’s not until I get bored or until I become passive aggressive and prompt my wife to file for divorce. If the man “mans up” and fulfills his obligations, the wife (theoretically) would respect him more and would in turn be more open to his needs and wants (hence submission).

??? I am not thinking I was even in that neiborhood!

Men, who are called to serve as husbands and fathers, I pray that you find these words and may the seeds be planted in the hearts of all men that will hear you. It was the destruction of the family that has destroyed this nation in the US and your virtue (Latin word meaning “to be a man.”) will break any sword.
You have the duty to serve, firstly your wife; yet, you do not know your role!
You are her Savior!
You are her Sanctifier!
You are her Satisfier!
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Christ showed His love in SACRIFICE, SUFFERING and SUBSTITUTION.
Sacrificing for Your Wife by his command and example, He gave Himself up for The Holy Mother Church, The Bride of Christ! Your love should be cruciform-in the shape of a cross. It is NOT about wearing a crown and being King of our castle. He wore a crown of THORNS first and then the cross came before His glory! Is the sacrificial way you love your wife obvious in ANY way? Men love to rap, rap, rap about their love and sound SO impressive about how we are going to protect them and even die if need be. Who do you personally know anyone who has actually taken a bullet? Can you nail your desires and agenda to the cross and love our wives and meet her needs? The sacrifice has to go beyond words…she HAS to see you walk that walk!
To sanctify something is to set it apart from ordinary use for a special purpose. God takes ordinary objects and peoples and sanctifies them for His Glory. They are set apart from their past and unto the future He would wish for them. You made promises to your wife (or will) about her future, are you just parroting words? Again, the Bride of Christ, His Body, and The Church is disconnected from a past of sin and through His grace we are made obedient to His given law and will. The process of this transformation was manifested through His death and until you die to yourself and leave your worldly desires in the world you should be disconnected from, you are not the example that Christ gave; you are just talking a good talk! If a man does not work, he should not eat…seeing how Hollywood, the TV and the ‘street’ are the antithesis of the truth?
Satisfying the needs of your wife as Christ does for His Church is probably a little harder than any of us thought it would be. “C’mon, I had NO IDEA that she was THAT needy!” Well, you talked such a good game while you were trying to win her over…but, you did not realize that you were going to have to become a servant to learn how to become the leader. Christ washed the feet of His Apostles giving us the example to do as He has done. Do not wait around for your wives to serve you, set the example in your home by being the one who serves!

 

[Serap]

It’s pretty amazing that this was posted in another thread and it’s not 9 pages.

After all, all it says it that we men are REQUIRED to serve and sacrifice everything we have and are for our wife. How did not even one man get all bent out of shape about this and complain for 9 pages about how we don’t like what God tells us to do?

b/c women have been treated like #### for thousands of years and b/c of men’s abuse, women began to rebel…e.g., not being allowed to vote. A woman was not even considered a “person” by law (in Canada) until 100 years ago.

Men should have not taken women for granted for thousands of years.

 

[Serap]

??? I am not thinking I was even in that neiborhood!

Men, who are called to serve as husbands and fathers, I pray that you find these words and may the seeds be planted in the hearts of all men that will hear you. It was the destruction of the family that has destroyed this nation in the US and your virtue (Latin word meaning “to be a man.”) will break any sword.
You have the duty to serve, firstly your wife; yet, you do not know your role!
You are her Savior!
You are her Sanctifier!
You are her Satisfier!
Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church. Christ showed His love in SACRIFICE, SUFFERING and SUBSTITUTION.
Sacrificing for Your Wife by his command and example, He gave Himself up for The Holy Mother Church, The Bride of Christ! Your love should be cruciform-in the shape of a cross. It is NOT about wearing a crown and being King of our castle. He wore a crown of THORNS first and then the cross came before His glory! Is the sacrificial way you love your wife obvious in ANY way? Men love to rap, rap, rap about their love and sound SO impressive about how we are going to protect them and even die if need be. Who do you personally know anyone who has actually taken a bullet? Can you nail your desires and agenda to the cross and love our wives and meet her needs? The sacrifice has to go beyond words…she HAS to see you walk that walk!
To sanctify something is to set it apart from ordinary use for a special purpose. God takes ordinary objects and peoples and sanctifies them for His Glory. They are set apart from their past and unto the future He would wish for them. You made promises to your wife (or will) about her future, are you just parroting words? Again, the Bride of Christ, His Body, and The Church is disconnected from a past of sin and through His grace we are made obedient to His given law and will. The process of this transformation was manifested through His death and until you die to yourself and leave your worldly desires in the world you should be disconnected from, you are not the example that Christ gave; you are just talking a good talk! If a man does not work, he should not eat…seeing how Hollywood, the TV and the ‘street’ are the antithesis of the truth?
Satisfying the needs of your wife as Christ does for His Church is probably a little harder than any of us thought it would be. “C’mon, I had NO IDEA that she was THAT needy!” Well, you talked such a good game while you were trying to win her over…but, you did not realize that you were going to have to become a servant to learn how to become the leader. Christ washed the feet of His Apostles giving us the example to do as He has done. Do not wait around for your wives to serve you, set the example in your home by being the one who serves!

I give up. Can you tell us in “lamen’s” terms what you mean?

 

[Serap]

Honestly, after page two, I was in a “tizzy” and I apologize. No, oppresion and submission are two entirely different acts. The husband can never ask his spouse to committ a sin, for instance and a good husband will always consider what his wife has to say on anything. Only a fool thinks he is always right; But, sometimes compromise is just not an option.

feminism was the result of female oppression.

 

[Serap]

Well said!
I know what I think too. And my husband is perfectly aware of how he feels. I hope we are not going against God’s plan…

haha! I think not. I’m happy, my kids are happy and hubby’s happy.

check
check, check
check!!!

don’t get me wrong, our marriage is far from perfect. sometimes I wish we could control our anger better. I was in counselling recently for 6 months to learn to bite my tongue when hubby is on a rant.

 

[thewanderer]

It’s pretty amazing that this was posted in another thread and it’s not 9 pages.

After all, all it says it that we men are REQUIRED to serve and sacrifice everything we have and are for our wife. How did not even one man get all bent out of shape about this and complain for 9 pages about how we don’t like what God tells us to do?

The reason why is because there have been, and still are, men who use ‘submission’ to mean ‘oppression’, and so use this passage to abuse their wives. Because of this its a sensitive subject and people react far more than they need to. It becomes all to easy to associate ‘submssion’ with oppression, and when one believes the word ‘submission’ to equal oppresion then of course you’re going to get a lot of negative responses. Which is why I think its important to help people understand that submission can be a beautiful thing, and that not everyone who talks about submission as a good thing is promoting the oppression of women.

When have men ever been abused and oppressed under the guise of needing to act like Christ? It just doesn’t have the same history and negative connotations.

 

[judcargile]

The reason why is because there have been, and still are, men who use ‘submission’ to mean ‘oppression’, and so use this passage to abuse their wives. Because of this its a sensitive subject and people react far more than they need to. It becomes all to easy to associate ‘submssion’ with oppression, and when one believes the word ‘submission’ to equal oppresion then of course you’re going to get a lot of negative responses. Which is why I think its important to help people understand that submission can be a beautiful thing, and that not everyone who talks about submission as a good thing is promoting the oppression of women.

When have men ever been abused and oppressed under the guise of needing to act like Christ? It just doesn’t have the same history and negative connotations.

Hardly gives license to excuse the wife’s responsibility, it was not a suggestion. It IS a commandment. God does not hear the prayers of a man that leaves a hurt on his woman’s heart. She IS His little girl, after all!