Thrid time at Confession where the same Priest DID NOT say "I absolve you.."

[sw85]

“I absolve you” is the form of the sacrament of penance per the Council of Trent, so if these words are left out, you are not absolved by the priest. All that said, since you didn’t know this, I believe (though am uncertain) that God does assist those who, in ignorance, are unaware of this deficiency by absolving them, anyway.

Nevertheless, since you are now aware, you should take appropriate precautions in the future. The first and most obvious choice would be to seek a new confessor, but if this is not possible, you are within your rights to ask the priest to use the form of absolution according to the rubrics prescribed by the Church. I would also recommend, if this priest is not the pastor, that you inform the pastor, since this touches immediately on his duty to provide care for the souls of his flock.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Thanks, I can only hope and pray I have been forgiven, as (and I don’t mean to sound flippant) but there have been a lot of sins I have confessed in those 3 meetings - though that may sound bad, its true…

You’re welcome, and no, it doesn’t sound bad. Occasionally I spend 30-45 minutes in confession, and I confess weekly. When that happens, it’s what is needed for the situation at hand.

He is a foreign Priest with an accent yes, but he did not say it, fast or otherwise. I strained and strained and strained and strained my ears to hear it this time. Nothing, not a word, not a syllable. nothing, at all…

I prayed to God while saying my penance that he forgive me, even though the Priest made a mistake, for the third time.

I am looking for another Church near my work to go to.

Sometimes a particular confessor-penitent relationship isn’t meant to be. In my confessions, I’m the foreigner. There have been times I left the priest absolutely confused about what just happened. But I trust the Lord, and He knows I go into all my confessions truly sorry for the sins I committed so I don’t worry about whether my sins have been forgiven or not regardless of what happened while I was with the priest.

I hope you do find another priest to confess to, as the arrangement you currently have evidently is bringing you a certain degree of anguish.

Could it be that the Priest does not want to give me forgiveness?

I would not even go down this road. Assume the best. If you were sorry for your sins, and it sounds like you were, there was no reason for the priest to deny you absolution.

 

[FishyPete]

Thanks guys, this helps a lot. I would have never thought I would be posting something like this.

 

[Bookcat]

No valid form – no valid sacrament. Unfortunately it can happen.

Even in cases of wrong form for Baptism. Many persons have had to be baptized (not re-baptized for the first baptism was not valid so did not occur) due to the discovery that an invalid form was used by the person baptizing.

Likewise if I had been to confession with say some mortal sins --and the Priest did not use the valid form --and would not when I corrected him - I would then confess those sins to another Priest (for the were mortal and need to be confessed and absolved).

(Hopefully the original Priest will use the right form when I prompt him…and save me some time…)

Such normally does not happen. But it can.

 

[FishyPete]

No valid form – no valid sacrament. Unfortunately it can happen.

Even in cases of wrong form for Baptism. Many persons have had to be baptized (not re-baptized for the first baptism was not valid so did not occur) due to the discovery that an invalid form was used by the person baptizing.

Likewise if I had been to confession with say some mortal sins --and the Priest did not use the valid form --and would not when I corrected him - I would then confess those sins to another Priest (for the were mortal and need to be confessed and absolved).

Such normally does not happen. But it can.

Thanks. It did in this case. I never thought it would ever be like this. I guess I need to do some work to be properly forgiven. I know God forgives the delay, what could I do?

 

[Bookcat]

Thanks. It did in this case. I never thought it would ever be like this. I guess I need to do some work to be properly forgiven. I know God forgives the delay, what could I do?

Yes God will take into account what happened (he knows better than us!)

(but I would not receive Holy Communion yet).

Well look at this way – in some of the early centuries – penance could be years …

If it is not resolved with the first Priest (but in any case I would suggest providing the full text kindly to him --for he will be hearing others confessions too…)

…one may approach another Priest in confession noting what happened (no names given perhaps…maybe a church in another area) …

 

[FishyPete]

Yes God will take into account what happened (he knows better than us!)

(but I would not receive Holy Communion yet).

Well look at this way – in some of the early centuries – penance could be years …

If it is not resolved with the first Priest (but in any case I would suggest providing the full text kindly to him --for he will be hearing others confessions too…)

…one may approach another Priest in confession noting what happened (no names given perhaps…maybe a church in another area) …

I did kindly bring it up to him. He said he said the prayer to the Holy Trinity and that my sins were forgiven. He was none to happy to hear that he had left out a phrase and dismissed me. I was very polite when i brought it up.

 

[KrazyKat]

Father Serpa gave you the answer.

 

[sw85]

I did kindly bring it up to him. He said he said the prayer to the Holy Trinity and that my sins were forgiven. He was none to happy to hear that he had left out a phrase and dismissed me. I was very polite when i brought it up.

I’d go have a talk with the pastor, then. Or is he the pastor?

 

[FishyPete]

Father Serpa gave you the answer.

Thank you.

 

[FishyPete]

I’d go have a talk with the pastor, then. Or is he the pastor?

He is not. It is not in my nature to bring up things like this - how can I approach the pastor about this… I feel absolutely terrible about it, and I am a quiet and reserved person. His reaction hurt my feelings in a way.

 

[sw85]

He is not. It is not in my nature to bring up things like this - how can I approach the pastor about this… I feel absolutely terrible about it, and I am a quiet and reserved person. His reaction hurt my feelings in a way.

OK, you should really talk with the pastor, then. He is potentially denying grace to others, you have brought this deficiency to his attention, and he has obstinately refused to correct. I would speak with the pastor and, if he refuses to do anything, consider notifying the chancery, ideally adding your voice to a few others in the parish who are also concerned.

 

[FishyPete]

OK, you should really talk with the pastor, then. He is potentially denying grace to others, you have brought this deficiency to his attention, and he has obstinately refused to correct. I would speak with the pastor and, if he refuses to do anything, consider notifying the chancery, ideally adding your voice to a few others in the parish who are also concerned.

I agree with everything you have said, but I am a very very very shy person by nature who suffers from an anxiety disorder, and it’s not even my parish, I have chosen to go to confession away from my Parish because it is near my work. I feel like I’s be criticizing something in Gods house!

Could it be that this Priest, who is not from North America, is simply not reading the prayers correctly, and no one has told him? Its possible.

 

[CatholicRaven]

I hope you are able to notify the pastor in some way, because he truly needs to know that this is happening in his parish.

I am non-confrontational, as well, and having to reprimand someone or notify their superiors truly upsets me, so I understand somewhat where you are coming from. Could you write the pastor a letter gently explaining what happened and expressing your concerns about it? Perhaps writing it down (and being able to revise before sending it) might make it easier on you to express what you need to say. I would highly encourage you to sign it, in case the pastor needs clarification and so that he knows this happened to one of his parishioners and it is important to you. But even if you must send it anonymously to avoid confrontation, the pastor should be alerted to the problem.

Please consider it.

 

[FishyPete]

I hope you are able to notify the pastor in some way, because he truly needs to know that this is happening in his parish.

I am non-confrontational, as well, and having to reprimand someone or notify their superiors truly upsets me, so I understand somewhat where you are coming from. Could you write the pastor a letter gently explaining what happened and expressing your concerns about it? Perhaps writing it down (and being able to revise before sending it) might make it easier on you to express what you need to say. I would highly encourage you to sign it, in case the pastor needs clarification and so that he knows this happened to one of his parishioners and it is important to you. But even if you must send it anonymously to avoid confrontation, the pastor should be alerted to the problem.

Please consider it.

I will. I feel terrible terrible terrible about this whole thing.

 

[sw85]

I agree with everything you have said, but I am a very very very shy person by nature who suffers from an anxiety disorder, and it’s not even my parish, I have chosen to go to confession away from my Parish because it is near my work. I feel like I’s be criticizing something in Gods house!

Could it be that this Priest, who is not from North America, is simply not reading the prayers correctly, and no one has told him? Its possible.

Consider writing a letter to the pastor, then. And there is nothing wrong with reporting serious abuses to the appropriate authorities. That abuses happen in God’s house makes it more important to do so, not less.

 

[FishyPete]

This Priest tells me to say the Act of Contrition, but then dissmises me by saying go in peace? So I have no chance to say it in front of him. Does that have something to do with it? Do I say the Act of Contrition in front of him, even though he has clearly dismissed me?

I’m trying to wrap my head around this.

 

[MikeandKriss]

This is typed I the love care and respect. I stumbled here by accident. I am not Catholic. If you want to remove us from this posting and not allow this to be posted, that is ok, but I registered just to reply to this post.
Please let this be posted. Unto Jesus Christ, every knee shall bow, every tongue confess to the one mediator between God and man, our only Priest, who is alone allowed to forgive sins, To our God and Father, who alone is allowed to be called Father, and the Holy Ghost,
He is God alone, and there is none else. No one stands beside Him. Three in one.
He stands alone.

MK 2:7 Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?
MK 2:8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?
MK 2:9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?
MK 2:10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)

 

[jwinch2]

Ok, so I just had (literally 20 minutes ago) confession and the same Priest I had for the last three confessions over the last year did not, and I repeat DID NOT say “I absolve you of your sins”. Not a single mention of it, not a single syllable of it was spoken. When he told me to go in peace, I asked him if my sins were absolved, he said yes.

Why is this happening. This is a large Catholic Church. Are my sins not forgiven?

I am not being scrupulous here, I just don’t understand? Are Priest not trained? Has my last three confessions been for not?

Do I simply go to a different church?

Have my sins not been forgiven for an entire year?

In my 40 years this has never happened, and I just returned to the Church last year.

I’m sorry but this is upsetting to me.

I had this exact same thing happen to me a short time ago. I had seen threads on this on CAF for some time, and always pretty much dismissed them as worrying over nothing, until I experienced it first hand. It was the first time, and hopefully the last. I made an inquiry of a Dominican Friar who teaches a course I had taken through our diocese, and he checked into it for me with some fellow friars and a theologian in the diocese. His response to me was that the confession itself would probably be invalid, because the proper form was not followed. He added however, that I was not culpable if I had received communion unworthily because I went to the sacrament with proper intent and contrition, etc. I was informed that while I did not have to, I may wish to consider re-confessing some of the sins to ease my own conscience on the matter.

In short, I understand why this is upsetting to you, and if I were in your shoes, I would probably seek out a different confessor. In addition, I would definitely ask to speak with the pastor to explain the situation. You don’t have to be accusatory to express legitimate concern on the Sacrament of Penance anymore than you would if a priest was making up the words of consecration during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. I would simply explain to the pastor what has happened and state that you are sure this is probably a simple mistake, etc. on the part of the priest and then let the pastor handle it from there.

+Pax

 

[Bookcat]

MK 2:7 Why doth this man thus speak blasphemies? who can forgive sins but God only?
MK 2:8 And immediately when Jesus perceived in his spirit that they so reasoned within themselves, he said unto them, Why reason ye these things in your hearts?
MK 2:9 Whether is it easier to say to the sick of the palsy, Thy sins be forgiven thee; or to say, Arise, and take up thy bed, and walk?
MK 2:10 But that ye may know that the Son of man hath power on earth to forgive sins, (he saith to the sick of the palsy,)

Yes

and Jesus —then said — later to the Apostles:

As the Father sent me so I send you.

And he breathed on them and said receive the Holy Spirit – if you forgive the sins of anyone they are forgiven if you retain them they are retained.

(basically from memory but see John 20:21-23 RSV)

He who could yes on earth forgive sins – gave that power to certain men…

(who later laid hands on others…who later laid hands on others…down through the ages.) But this it getting the thread off its track --which we are not to do (see the rules as you are new here)
*
Praised be Jesus Christ *

and God be with you!