Throwing away pornography

[mostolto]

i have been addicted to pornography since i was at school, over 30yrs ago. a few months ago i threw away my entire collection of over 100 000 x-rated photos and videos, that i had accumulated, over many years. this had a very negative effect on me, i imagine something like one would go through whilst withdrawing from hard drugs. i have subsequently been succoming intermittently to the pull of pornography, by occasionally downloading x photos and video from the internet, but have largely been succesfully in deleteing most of what i have downloaded. a few days ago i saw an entry in the newspaper classifieds, advertising the sale of adult video dvd’s, and regrettablly, i responded, and subsequently purchased some of these. i am really battling now to get rid of them, as i know that i have spent money for them, yet i know that getting rid of them, is the only way that i will ever be able to recover fully from this addiction. my conscience is bothering me, but i want to come clean. is there anyone struggling with a simular problem, and does anyone have any advise on how to throw away pornography?

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

If you dont’t buy it, you don’t have to worry about throwing it away.

Simple, I know ---- but it is the same concept as an alcoholic trying to stop after taking the first drink. The problem is not “stopping”, it’s the in the “starting”.

My professional life is as a psychotherapist, and while I am not and cannot determine if you have a psychological problem or addiction, some of what you share sounds concerning.

Pray, partake of the sacraments ( confession and mass ), seek spiritual and/or professional counseling ) seek a 12 Step Fellowship like SA (sexaholics anonymous) to see if it “fits” for you.

As for the package of porn, you can always send it back unopened.

 

[mostolto]

i think i would prefer receiving advise from faithful Catholics, as most of my relatives are Catholic, and so i feel more comfortable speaking with Catholics. am not sure that i would like to start a recovery program with a Christian denomination that might not be sympathetic to some or all of the teachings and doctrines of the Catholic church, particulary since am sure that some of these organizations, either directly or indirectly expect those taking their courses, to also ascribe to their religious beliefs. thanks for advice, anyway

 

[tcrillo]

There are many people with the same problem, I know, I struggled with it myself. I felt like I kept getting pulled in deeper and deeper. I thought about how how it was not just destroying me by leading me into more perverse thoughts, but how it degraded women. I could not even talk to a pretty girl without thinking something sexual. I thought how it degraded the Mother of all women alive today, Mary, Our Mother, the Mother of God. So, it was to her I prayed for help, and everytime I know I am tempted, I say a “Hail Mary”. It won’t be easy, but never give up, know that Jesus loves you, and wants you to be with him, FOREVER ! Here’s some help from Steve Wood, its worth the read.

familylifecenter.net/catholic_porn_help.asp

 

[The_Bucket]

i think i would prefer receiving advise from faithful Catholics, as most of my relatives are Catholic, and so i feel more comfortable speaking with Catholics. am not sure that i would like to start a recovery program with a Christian denomination that might not be sympathetic to some or all of the teachings and doctrines of the Catholic church, particulary since am sure that some of these organizations, either directly or indirectly expect those taking their courses, to also ascribe to their religious beliefs. thanks for advice, anyway

SA and SAA are nondenominational in every way. They just ask you to believe in a “Higher Power” and don’t have any doctrine ascribed to it.

 

[ProdglArchitect]

I know where you’re coming from. I recently deleted my entire stash of pronography from my machines… suffice it to say my mind did not react well to this. It is like going through withdraw, that’s a great way to describe it.

I wish you the best of luck.

 

[mostolto]

thanks to everyone for the replies. i really do appreciate it, and will look into all the suggestions. thank you

 

[louisak]

There is an Impurity Addiction Support Group here on Catholic Answers Forums (forums.catholic-questions.org/group.php?groupid=369). You might find it helpful - though your profile says “Atheist” so you might not feel at home with the religious content, but why not give it a try?

You are not alone. Many, many people are addicted to pornography today. The problem has been around as long as magazines like Playboy and Hustler but it has gotten far worse with the development of the Internet. If you read the Prayer Intentions forum regularly you will see that people often post there, asking for prayers to help overcome this type of addiction.

You describe experiencing a sort of withdrawal (like a drug user will experience if he suddenly stops taking his drugs). This is because your brain has been conditioned to the high levels of dopamine that are released when viewing pornography; when the levels of dopamine return to normal, it is like a kind of starvation. However if you avoid the porn for a long period of time, the pleasure center in the brain re-adjusts to the more normal levels of dopamine and the “withdrawal” feeling goes away - you will find enjoyment in the normal activities of life that you could not experience while addicted. Every time that you go back to the porn, you prevent that important readjustment from happening.

You need to have a friend or counselor whom you trust, to help you stay accountable. Every time you view porn, you need to “fess up” to this person. If nobody knows what you are doing, it is much harder to stay the path. This is one of the benefits of a 12 Step group.

 

[Ophelia23]

Good for you for taking the first step!!! :extrahappy:

I don’t even know you, but I feel incredibly happy and proud for you. This is wonderful, wonderful news. My advice on throwing it away is simple: THROW IT AWAY. Honestly, what is tossing a few dollars into the trash when it comes to the cost of your eternal spirit? You are worth so much more than what you spent on those DVD’s. The men and women who are filmed in those movies are worth so much more. Your heart, your purity and your conscience are worth SO. MUCH. MORE.

Accountability is everything. Personally, I would suggest having a regular confessor, and going to confession every week for a while. The grace it pours into your heart is staggering. Think of it as medicine for the sick. And facing the same priest each week and having to confess the same struggle over and over again is really quite humbling and, truly, helpful. I personally have not had this particular struggle, but I have had to fight my own addictions and negative influences.

If it happens that you are not Catholic and thus can not attend reconciliation, then I would suggest you have a friend to confide in. Just someone to help keep you on track.

I am praying for you. I am HAPPY for you! You CAN DO THIS!

 

[Andrew1980]

thanks to everyone for the replies. i really do appreciate it, and will look into all the suggestions. thank you

There is a forum on here called “Impurity Addict Support Group”; that is a good place to get more information. I would recommend the books/pamphlets by Father Emmerich on the 12 Steps. He is a Domincan and has a website dedicated to help people out of there addictions.

I am currently working my recovery from a pornography addiction and have been working the SA 12 Steps. I have made tremendous progress these last 3 years and would encourage you to continue the process of reaching out and looking for help.

God Bless!

 

[akka]

i think i would prefer receiving advise from faithful Catholics, as most of my relatives are Catholic, and so i feel more comfortable speaking with Catholics.

Try to start by changing your profile from “Atheist” to something “Catholic”.
To do something, you must have a firm faith.
That’s just my opinion though.
“We” also must have faith in God and pray. I also include myself in “We”.
A Catholic lifestyle is a journey of faith to Sainthood.

To pray is to abandon oneself in God’s embrace, John Paul II said at a meditation he offered at the general audience.
zenit.org/article-6200?l=english

 

[Ophelia23]

Try to start by changing your profile from “Atheist” to “Catholic”.
To do something, you must have a firm faith.
That’s just my opinion though.

I disagree with the bolded statement above. A firm faith is what comes from doing something. A firm faith is not something one just gets. It is worked for, nurtured and built upon. Taking the first step is the start. Please, let us encourage our brother with warmth, welcome, encouragement and prayer. God’s peace!

 

[akka]

I disagree with the bolded statement above. A firm faith is what comes from doing something. A firm faith is not something one just gets. It is worked for, nurtured and built upon. Taking the first step is the start. Please, let us encourage our brother with warmth, welcome, encouragement and prayer. God’s peace!

Okay, okay. I admit my error. In my mind, I was thinking something about “Towards strengthening faith”. I guess every journey starts with a first step~

 

[Ophelia23]

Okay, okay. I admit my error. In my mind, I was thinking something about “Towards strengthening faith”. I guess every journey starts with a first step~

Truth!

 

[mostolto]

I was baptised and raised as a Catholic, but i am Atheist because i have lived most of my life as an Atheist, at least up till now. there is a disturbing trend in pornography that goes beyond bizarre sexual practices, that has extended into our societies. ordinary people started looking at themselves in the mirror, and they did not like what they saw. we are busy creating a culture of people, dependant on artificial implants, body modifications, and anti-aging therapies, to be happy. in my view, this is one of the the worst developments i have seen in pornography over the years, size has become everything, people no longer love themselves. i am fortunate, because my own personal aversion to artificial implants, has helped me in my own struggle against porn, because these are usually the first movies that stimulate me to throw the porn away. so this is my suggestion for those struggling with this habit. try and focus on what you dont like, about the films you are watching, and then take action based on those feelings…its not easy, but possible, to recover…

 

[Bookcat]

Get the help of a Priest. Seek his guidance

I recall there being various shows on CA on the subject --Search the CA shows for this subject catholic.com/radio

 

[akka]

I was baptised and raised as a Catholic, but i am Atheist because i have lived most of my life as an Atheist, at least up till now.

I see you are an honest person. But dependent on God is important.
Jesus died on the cross for “us”, “we” should move our heart closer to God.
Talking to a Spiritual Director is my suggestion, but do you want to?
As a lay person, I suggest you to talk with someone who is more qualified.

 

[edwest2]

i have been addicted to pornography since i was at school, over 30yrs ago. a few months ago i threw away my entire collection of over 100 000 x-rated photos and videos, that i had accumulated, over many years. this had a very negative effect on me, i imagine something like one would go through whilst withdrawing from hard drugs. i have subsequently been succoming intermittently to the pull of pornography, by occasionally downloading x photos and video from the internet, but have largely been succesfully in deleteing most of what i have downloaded. a few days ago i saw an entry in the newspaper classifieds, advertising the sale of adult video dvd’s, and regrettablly, i responded, and subsequently purchased some of these. i am really battling now to get rid of them, as i know that i have spent money for them, yet i know that getting rid of them, is the only way that i will ever be able to recover fully from this addiction. my conscience is bothering me, but i want to come clean. is there anyone struggling with a simular problem, and does anyone have any advise on how to throw away pornography?

It’s difficult. Part of the solution is prayer and Confession, along with receiving the Eucharist. My old paper porn collection was picked by a trash hauling company. The few VHS videos I had were broken with a hammer and the tape inside cut in several places before going into the trash. The boxes were torn up.

Yes, it is just like getting off hard drugs. And sometimes, after throwing all of it out, the temptation comes back to watch or buy more. The buying part only happened to me once more - thank God - and that will be thrown out. For some, it’s a process, but knowing that the bulk of your collection is gone is a big step. Just pray, trust in God, and ask for strength. There are those who are completely free, but there are those who still struggle - sometimes. Don’t beat yourself up too much. Just get rid of the new stuff. And let’s encourage each other to do the same. Just continue to rely on God daily to help you get through this.

General advice on disposal: Tear up any magazines and photos to avoid their being recovered for resale. If you can’t do it, put a small number in a taped box (meaning the bottom is taped first), pour in some paint, then put in some more, pour in some paint, and repeat until the box is full. Tape the box closed and make sure it gets picked up. For VHS tapes and DVDs, you can break them and go the paint route so they can’t be recovered for resale. Again, put them into a sealed box for trash pick up. Delete whatever’s on your hard drive and clear your history.

Hope this helps,
Ed

 

[mostolto]

yes, i would like to speak with a priest. We do know an Italian Catholic priest, who ministers at a nearby church, however i feel it may be better for me to speak with a priest who has had some experience with this subject, possibly someone who has been involved in a program of recovery for addiction to pornography, otherwise i am afraid that a lay priest, may not fully understand the problem. general advice and prayer may be useful, however i am looking for someone who can give me specific instructions on how to combat this problem, something like a 12 step plan. thank you for your suggestion. i will try and find his phone number, and possibly give him a call…thank you

thank you for these suggestions. i agree…destroying the offending material in this way is the best option…

 

[louisak]

we are busy creating a culture of people, dependant on artificial implants, body modifications, and anti-aging therapies, to be happy.

So true! There is such an over-focus on physical appearance - people want to look like the supermodels on TV. As if that were the really important thing in life.

There is an advertisement for a dieting product which I see on TV from time to time. They have several testimonials from people who have lost weight using the product. The one which sticks in my mind is that of the woman who says “I’ll never forget the day I got into a size 10! That was the happiest day of my life!” Every time I see that, I think: How empty your life must be, if that is your greatest satisfaction.