Tipping the Church Choir

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truetofaith said:
Every parish I’ve been in paid the organist. They also usually get $100 to play a wedding.I play guitar at the Charismatic Prayer Group & since I led it, the priest paid me. Then they ran out of money & I volunteered my services.
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The organist at my church is a genius and heck isn’t even a Catholic. The church can’t afford to pay him but I think sticks around because of how great the pastor is. He lives about an hour away. Many of the parishioners come from all over the place I’m sure for the same reason; my drive is at least half an hour.

The organist once played a wedding last minute and told me he wasn’t paid. I suggested to the priest when we had lunch a few days later that he should have been paid for the wedding and he agreed. Not sure he ever was paid though, as I was told to remind him to give the organist $100 but never found the right time to. 🤷
truetofaith said:
Me too…It’s not that I don’t appreciate a gift…I tell my daughter not to give my wife & I any more gift cards because we can’t find items to buy in the store involved.
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I’ve actually had them become so old that they either expire or the company starts to charge $2.50 a month or something, allowing the balance go down. We’ve also had movie tickets sit around for years. Now if I received a Visa gift card, I wouldn’t mind. 😃
 
truetofaith said:
Me too…It’s not that I don’t appreciate a gift…I tell my daughter not to give my wife & I any more gift cards because we can’t find items to buy in the store involved.
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I’ve actually had them become so old that they either expire or the company starts to charge $2.50 a month or something, allowing the balance go down. We’ve also had movie tickets sit around for years.
 
I say a small gift to the people involved if you would like. It is more personal that way IMO, and I figure very much appreciated!

Otherwise, maybe a donation to the Church, and say more specifically for the choir, so they can deem what they see fit with the money, maybe to help out the music program there?
 
ServusHumilis said:
The organist at my church is a geneous and heck isn’t even a Catholic. The church can’t afford to pay him but I think sticks around because of how great the pastor is. He lives about an hour away. Many of the parishioners come from all over the place I’m sure for the same reason; my drive is at least half an hour.

The organist once played a wedding last minute and told me he wasn’t paid. I suggested to the priest when we had lunch a few days ;ater that he should have been paid for the wedding and he agreed. Not sure he ever was though. 🤷

I’ve actually had them become so old that they either expire or the company starts to charge $2.50 a month or something, allowing the balance go down. We’ve also had movie tickets sit around for years.
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When the organist plays for a wedding or a funeral, the bride & groom or the deceased’s loved one pays for the music not the church.
 
truetofaith said:
When the organist plays for a wedding or a funeral, the bride & groom or the deceased loved one pays for the music not the church.
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Of course, but in this case the organist who was originally scheduled couldn’t make it and our parish organist had to play last minute at the request of the priest. The choir was from our local FSSP parish and each choir member was paid $100.
corsair said:
The choir has expenses, i.e. printing, new hymnals, etc. Perhaps a donation to the choir through the priest to help support the choir. Just a suggestion.
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I nearly mentioned this as well but I figure this choir is for an Ordinary Form Mass where most churches in my experience are covered hymnal wise. I sing in a shcola for the Extraordinary Form and had to buy a Liber Brevior and several other books and Mass settings.
 
corsair said:
The choir has expenses, i.e. printing, new hymnals, etc. Perhaps a donation to the choir through the priest to help support the choir. Just a suggestion.
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I nearly mentioned this as well but I figure this choir is for an Ordinary Form Mass where most churches in my experience are covered hymnal wise. I sing in a shcola for the Extraordinary Form and had to buy a Liber Brevior and several other books and Mass settings.
 
truetofaith said:
Me too…It’s not that I don’t appreciate a gift…I tell my daughter not to give my wife & I any more gift cards because we can’t find items to buy in the store involved.
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oh good grief, I just made a simple suggestion to get a gift card to go out to eat. My kids love gift cards, They get cards like at Target, and then they enjoy going in and picking out what THEY want or need. It’s better than getting some gift that they don’t like or doesn’t fit. I thought this thread was how to show appreciation to those in Church music that are not paid and give of their own time, talent and efforts.
 
A close friend at work lost her father. I didn’t just want to donate to the flowers so I gave her a $20 gift card to Panera Bread to take her and her mother out to lunch sometime. She told me later that this was one of the nicest gifts because her mother doesn’t get out enough and they were able to go out a spend some time together after the funeral. I guess I am amazed that some simple suggestion for a gift card to go out to eat is belittled by fussy ungrateful people. Sorry but if one can’t find something at a major store chain or even a restaurant, then God help you. I don’t drink coffee but once I was given a gift card to Star bucks. I took my coffee loving husband and I had a nice pastry.
 
robwar said:
oh good grief, I just made a simple suggestion to get a gift card to go out to eat. My kids love gift cards, They get cards like at Target, and then they enjoy going in and picking out what THEY want or need. It’s better than getting some gift that they don’t like or doesn’t fit. I thought this thread was how to show appreciation to those in Church music that are not paid and give of their own time, talent and efforts.
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The thread is about “tipping the church choir” and seems to be answered… but the gift card gift is getting more opinions.

BTW, Target is the gift card I’m talking about. My wife never finds anything she likes there, but we have 2 gift cards to use.
We can give them back to our daughter, since she likes Target & gave us the cards.

Money is a better gift than cards because it can be used anywhere and combined with more to get what you really want or need.
 
robwar said:
A close friend at work lost her father. I didn’t just want to donate to the flowers so I gave her a $20 gift card to Panera Bread to take her and her mother out to lunch sometime. She told me later that this was one of the nicest gifts because her mother doesn’t get out enough and they were able to go out a spend some time together after the funeral. I guess I am amazed that some simple suggestion for a gift card to go out to eat is belittled by fussy ungrateful people. Sorry but if one can’t find something at a major store chain or even a restaurant, then God help you. I don’t drink coffee but once I was given a gift card to Star bucks. I took my coffee loving husband and I had a nice pastry.
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I know I’m fussy & ungrateful…but why couldn’t you give cash? She would have had a choice of where to take her mom.
 
truetofaith said:
I know I’m fussy & ungrateful…but why couldn’t you give cash? She would have had a choice of where to take her mom.
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Well, IMHO, Gift cards are a personal gift that is not TOO personal if you get my meaning.
People want to feel like they shopped to some degree, if it’s only at the checkout line.
Simply giving cash often times says " I have no clue what to get you, I didn’t bother to notice what you like". I got a giggle out of the Target post. My first thought was " you don’t like slippers? You don’t like to buy fairly high priced face cream, best selling books, or decorative candles for your home? A current DVD? Music? A new coffee maker?
I guess, in some cases, cash is more appreciated, but you miss a VERY important element here:

People who receive gifts are giving US a gift. God gave the ultimate gift. Out of love. When people move us to give them something: the homeless, the needy, the elders, the choir, our kids…we should be thanking THEM for this opportunity to live out our call. To emulate Christ and be givers. IT’s not so much that they need what we give (although often that happens) but we obtain grace from being a good giver. We should be thanking them for being that person in our life that reminds us of what it means to love. Even if it’s a couple of faithful choir members. Next time any of us purchase a gift, we need to remember what moves us. And not worry if it’s right. The sentiment always is.
God bless you.
 
While this isn’t quite the same thing, it involves the same issue, I think. Years ago, when I was an altar boy, it was customary if one were a server during a Wedding Mass that the groom would tip the altar boys. And, yes, it was surely appreciated.

There were usually two and sometimes four servers during a wedding Mass, and it was something of a contest to try to get selected as one of the servers for an upcoming wedding. If the couple that were to be married requested a particular server, this was recognized as their choice to make. This too became a factor. (Okay, we were kids. 😉 ).
 
I for one would appreciate any gift that someone was moved to give. Let’s get not too crazy here. If someone provides a gift for you for sharing your talents, then the appropriate response should simply be GRATITUDE. It shouldn’t matter what it is. It’s the thought that counts.

And yes we do love getting just a note of thanks sometimes. Here’s one I received recently…
 
truetofaith said:
The thread is about “tipping the church choir” and seems to be answered… but the gift card gift is getting more opinions.

BTW, Target is the gift card I’m talking about. My wife never finds anything she likes there, but we have 2 gift cards to use.
We can give them back to our daughter, since she likes Target & gave us the cards.

Money is a better gift than cards because it can be used anywhere and combined with more to get what you really want or need.
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I suppose gift cards are a better thing for your daughter to be giving you than cash. In that case she could say something like “Mom and Dad I’m taking you out to buy you whatever you need for in the $*** range.” Then you could pick where to go and what to buy and have a nice day with your daughter.
 
JButky said:
I for one would appreciate any gift that someone was moved to give. Let’s get not too crazy here. If someone provides a gift for you for sharing your talents, then the appropriate response should simply be GRATITUDE. It shouldn’t matter what it is. It’s the thought that counts.

And yes we do love getting just a note of thanks sometimes. Here’s one I received recently…
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Please don’t misunderstand what I’ve been saying. If someone gave me a gift card or any other gift or praise for that matter, I would be thankful & appreciative.

I just started comparing the usefulness of a gift card to cash, which is not as restrictive. This has nothing to do with how I feel about the person who gave me the gift.
 
truetofaith said:
Please don’t misunderstand what I’ve been saying. If someone gave me a gift card or any other gift or praise for that matter, I would be thankful & appreciative.

I just started comparing the usefulness of a gift card to cash, which is not as restrictive. This has nothing to do with how I feel about the person who gave me the gift.
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If that is your question then start a thread on it.
 
truetofaith said:
The thread is about “tipping the church choir” and seems to be answered… but the gift card gift is getting more opinions.

BTW, Target is the gift card I’m talking about. My wife never finds anything she likes there, but we have 2 gift cards to use.
We can give them back to our daughter, since she likes Target & gave us the cards.

Money is a better gift than cards because it can be used anywhere and combined with more to get what you really want or need.
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Oh brother.
 
truetofaith said:
I think I caused enough trouble here and got some good opinions on the issue, so there’s no need to start a new thread. 🙂
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I agree it needed to be said. How often do gift card givers get a chance to hear this? 🤷 I’m of course not going to say it to those who give me gift cards, but I don’t know anyone here and am quite unlikely to be given one by anyone reading this.
 
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