Tips, Advice, Experience From feeling worthless

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GospelOfMatthew

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Has anyone experienced or dealt with feeling worthless and if so, has there been anything that has helped you fight these thoughts? This feeling hits me almost every night and it’s quite powerful, usually brings me to tears
 
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It might help to note at various times of the day when you accomplished things. Different things. For example, when you helped someone. When you completed a difficult task. When your actions made a difference. You might be surprised that you are actually doing a lot more than you’re giving yourself credit for. It’s not unusual when the hour grows late, that the good things we did earlier in the day seem like they didn’t even happen, rather the negative things come to mind.
 
Read the gospel.

See God in others who could use a smile, a hello, a thank you.

Lord Jesus, please come to me in my emotional pain.

(saint I feel close to): please pray for me for…
 
I think if a normal person feels worthless some medical care is the first Avenue you should pursue.
 
Combining these constant feelings with relentless and unhealthy nervous habits as well as social anxiety and other things I believe I should speak with my doctor and I’m going to.

But putting that aside, are there any tips people have from what they have done in their own lives?
 
Matthew, read Zerg’s post. There are good ideas there.

But yes, you also need to seek counseling. You have so much going for you. Counseling would only improve upon what is already there, but RI’d you of any doubts and worthlessness.
 
I have confessed severe self-doubt and worthlessness before. Not sure if it’s even worth confessing but I feel that sometimes I know the feeling of worthlessness is coming and instead of fighting it I just give into it and negative thoughts about myself come flooding in. I feel like I could of fought harder but did not.
 
Does your feeling of worthlessness come out of nowhere, or does it have to do with something specific in your life? (Or perhaps you are not sure?)
 
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Many things in my life, tons. And then one I start thinking about one thing, the rest start to pour in and then I say “you know what, it’s true. This is why nobody talks to me. This is why I have few friends. Because I’m screwed up, I’m broken, I’m damaged. If they knew me they’d hate me anyways.” Then it gets worse and worse to the point where crying literally hurts, it stings in my eyes.

And this feeling lasts throughout the day. And I am sick of feeling this way, I want these thoughts and feelings to stop
 
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I have a handful of specific memories that if I even think about at all, I completely break down and start crying. I can’t even handle thinking about it
 
Therapy. Keep going to mass. Keep active. Follow your priest and doctors advice and do the things you enjoy. Keep going with your studies too. We are rooting for u
 
GospelOfMatthew said:
I have a handful of specific memories that if I even think about at all, I completely break down and start crying. I can’t even handle thinking about it
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Yes, get a therapist and work through those specific things. The chances are that those things colored the way you interacted with the world thereafter. They changed what you expected, they changed how you interpreted the actions (or inactions) of others, and they probably changed the expectations that others were picking up coming from you.

I’d say that you ought to consider that you have an unrealistic view of yourself, meaning a harsher judgment of you on yourself than you would think at all just if you judged anyone else the same way. You are not, after all, seeing yourself or treating yourself in a way that Christ would see you or that a Christian ought to view you, right?

Remember that “satan” is the word for “the accuser.”
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say:
“Now have salvation and power come,
and the kingdom of our God
and the authority of his Anointed.
For the accuser of our brothers is cast out,
who accuses them before our God day and night. Rev. 12:10

Once we’ve internalized a certain way of thinking, it takes work to un-learn that habit. I would say that even afterwards, this needs to be treated like a trick knee or some injury that is liable to flair up and need treatment, rather than a personal flaw. You have been suffering from a wound that did not heal right. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it is an “imaginary” wound instead of a real one. Some wounds heal up on their own, but sometimes professional help is needed, when the wound is serious or does not heal properly. Waiting on getting help usually does not help. It just prolongs the suffering unnecessarily.

You’ve been wounded and you didn’t heal properly. Don’t punish yourself for that. Get help. It is probably the key to unlocking your ability to give and receive the love that you have to give.

The good news is that you can learn to see things differently. You can learn to overcome the specific things that hurt you every time you think about them right now. You can even become more loving and more available to others than someone who has never had to work through what you have to work through. Get some help, and you may find the lesson of the Crucifix being lived in you, which is this: God doesn’t make the worst things happen in the world, but God can transform the worst thing in the world into the best thing in the world. God can transform the passion you’ve been going through, too.
 
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Yes, I’ve dealt with it, by the way. Don’t ignore it.

You know the way doctors say you shouldn’t ignore it when you feel “an elephant sitting on my chest” or “the worst headache I could even imagine”? This is like that. It is a very big deal.

You shouldn’t ignore feelings of worthlessness or feelings that no one would miss you if you weren’t around. They may seem like realistic perceptions at the time, but these are false perceptions. Why would you know that? Because you know you’re the only one who really believes it. You don’t tell others because you don’t think they’ll believe you, hmmm? You know you don’t know anyone who ought to believe that. If someone were to come to any decent person and say “I’m worthless,” who would agree with that? It is preposterous! Maybe the person needs to do something better, but they cannot do anything that makes them worthless. Guess what? Neither can you. If you accept these self-perceptions, though, you can greatly harm your physical health and your ability to do the things in the world that you otherwise could.

A feeling of worthlessness or a feeling of indifference towards living or dying are among those red flag symptoms that should not be ignored. When you see the therapist, ask about what you ought to do when you feel this kind of thing.
 
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In the past when doctors and such have asked about this stuff I just lie and say I’m all good. Because I think a lot of society has the impression that having depression, anxiety, and these feelings is like “the thing” that everyone says they have to fit in but don’t actually have it. Tons of people make offhand jokes about this stuff like everyone’s lying and that is all a big game to get some laughs. I do not believe my doctors or others would believe me. But I do not care, enough is enough, time to get some help 🙂
 
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Okay, what you wrote suggests that it is not simply spiritual despair. That may be why your spiritual director recommended a therapist and possible medication. Get the help you need, get it soon, and don’t give up hope of a joyful life.
 
Beryllos said:
Okay, what you wrote suggests that it is not simply spiritual despair. That may be why your spiritual director recommended a therapist and possible medication. Get the help you need, get it soon, and don’t give up hope of a joyful life.
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Yes! When you’re in sports, there are injuries that you just work through and there are injuries that you have to accept treatment for in order to return to the field. There are things you just do not “tough out” or “work through.” That doesn’t mean the therapy does everything for you and you do none of the work! No, like a physical injury, there is a lot of work to do when you accept treatment for emotional wounds. It just isn’t the same work you’ll be able to do when you return to health, the kind of work you have been expecting yourself to do, but it is real and necessary work and it ought to be taken as seriously as “productive” work. You’re the “product,” but your future productivity, if you will, depends on doing this work on yourself. It deserves all the seriousness and dedication that your other work for others deserves.
 
I feel weak though for saying I have this issue. I spoke with my brother about it but I felt quite ashamed. He said he has the same issue, I never knew
 
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