Tired of Being a Failure

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Methos

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After many years,I finally got a job. Well, for now. It’s a temp job, but we can be kept on if we do a good job. However, I haven’t bee given the full responsibilities of what I was hired to do, while other people have. I’ve been given busy work. So, my prospects don’t look good. (I know someone will say be more assertive. I’ve tried that in the past and I can’t pull it off)

I’m tied of this-- of being a failure, a loser, of being scared all the time. It’s like trying to climb a wall of sand. I never get anywhere. I pray for help and guidance and this is what I get.Another example of how worthless I am. In the past, I’ve been called arrogant. Well,I have false pride because I never had anything to be proud of…Everything end in failure.

It’s said that we’re begin refined like gold in fire by our struggles and suffering. I’m tired of that.I want to be water turned into wine. I want to go to sleep and wake up different. Free of my mental disorders that make ordinary life such a struggle I want to n feel happiness, love, to be unafraid and have genuine pride tempered by humility-- to be normal.Unfortunately, I know it won’t happen no matter how hard I pray. People far worse off than me don’t get an answer, why should pathetic me get one?

Why can’t I just go home?
 
Methos said:
After many years,I finally got a job. Well, for now. It’s a temp job, but we can be kept on if we do a good job. However, I haven’t bee given the full responsibilities of what I was hired to do, while other people have. I’ve been given busy work. So, my prospects don’t look good. (I know someone will say be more assertive. I’ve tried that in the past and I can’t pull it off)

I’m tied of this-- of being a failure, a loser, of being scared all the time. It’s like trying to climb a wall of sand. I never get anywhere. I pray for help and guidance and this is what I get.Another example of how worthless I am. In the past, I’ve been called arrogant. Well,I have false pride because I never had anything to be proud of…Everything end in failure.

It’s said that we’re begin refined like gold in fire by our struggles and suffering. I’m tired of that.I want to be water turned into wine. I want to go to sleep and wake up different. Free of my mental disorders that make ordinary life such a struggle I want to n feel happiness, love, to be unafraid and have genuine pride tempered by humility-- to be normal.Unfortunately, I know it won’t happen no matter how hard I pray. People far worse off than me don’t get an answer, why should pathetic me get one?

Why can’t I just go home?
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I can so empathize with you. I had 50 jobs in 30 years before going on disability. It was quite difficult each time starting out with high hopes - even feeling like the boss really liked me - but having difficulty maintaining it. I would get quite discouraged and depressed and angry, and often jobs would end on a bad note, with drama and/or bad feelings between me, bosses, and coworkers.

And yes, by that time, I would feel like a “pathetic me.” Still, if I can give you a bit of advice, and it will be easier said than done, I know - it would be to try NOT to keep this self-image. It is only going to make things worse. Try something that is less judgmental of yourself as a person. Maybe “God’s Work In Progress” or something along those lines. Try to find some ways that you have learned from prior mistakes or difficult situations. Keep a written list if necessary to remind yourself of those. Cherish any victory no matter how small.

One of the biggest errors I made, and it wasn’t entirely my fault because this was nearly 40 years ago and there just weren’t the resources available that exist today - but if you’re young, I recommend getting help without delay. If you have psychological issues find out what they are, and what options are available to you for treatment. Such problems are easier to deal with before they become entrenched - take it from one who’s been there! Perhaps also get a spiritual director to have that added dimension.

The Saints can also be your best friends; many of them went through the same trials during their times on Earth. Here are a couple of books I just love that contain readings about different Saints and how they dealt with all sorts of trials of life - short chapters on everything from depression to money problems to illnesses and more.

sophiainstitute.com/products/item/saintly-solutions
sophiainstitute.com/products/item/More-Saintly-Solutions

May God bless you and keep you in His care, and may you feel His Merciful Love in every situation. Know that you are not alone in your struggles. I will be praying for you. :hug3:
 
a job doesnt make you a loser or not, if your dealing with temp jobs thats just the nature of the business is that you will be in and out of work depending on various things, its happened to me too, ive learned not to judge how good i am based on what i do for work, as long as your looking for work and doing your best, who cares if your the star of the show or not, maybe its the qualities of being a catholic that others see in you at work that make you the winner, remember, a catholic life is not flashy, as long as you have a roof overy our head and you can pray, i wouldn’t worry too much, work is a mirage, an illusion for most people, the money blinds them and takes them away, pray for work, youll get it, it works for me, i get different jobs and i work those jobs and if i have to leave them for whatever reason i know the Lord wills that too… good luck
 
Buy the book" prayers that heal the heart" read it and apply the prayers, and the holy spirit will do the deliverance, by Mark vilkner
 
I have been thinking about a theme pertaining to what you have posted. I won’t go into details of my essay, but you remind me of it. You are what you think and you see yourself as a failure. Don’t think that way. In your new and present job bring joy in the door with you each day that you come to work. Make yourself valuable. If you can afford it, bring a box full of doughnuts in for everyone. If not, then show your love and joy for others.
I have a brother that just barely graduated, but had a happy continence, a smile for everyone, and a good natured attitude. He could just barely read and his friends did most of his homework for him. Because he had a positive outlook he worked his way up the corporate ladder and improved along the way. You can, too. There really is something to having a positive attitude. Don’t forget that prayer is a very strong rock for you to build your self esteem upon… Self esteem is NOT the same as pride or vanity, but to find and know your worth. In God you are worthy and valuable. Bring that reality to the job with you. Find something nice to say and do for everyone and the blessings will be returned to you. You have my prayers. ME
 
The Lord got you that job and you will keep it for as long as the lord Wills. Look to the Lord as your source of income. He is the real ‘boss’. Work for him. We tend to focus on our bosses and coworkers. But, instead, focus on the Lord and trust in him with your future. None of us knows the future, and the only thing we can really count on is the Lord. So seek him. Praying for you. God bless. Thank God that you have a job.
 
Everyone here is giving you very good advice. I especially like 3doctors and Mary Estelle.

But, also consider this, that maybe you are put in your current job not just for your benefit. Maybe you are placed there to bless someone else. A co-worker or a boss. Not to proselytize, well maybe on the off hours, but to be a blessing. Yes You!

You are not a loser. How do I know? Because you came here for encouragement and you are struggling, but that does not define a loser.

I too wish I could wake up transformed, but God only does that to some people.

Here is a book, it might be hard to locate in the library but it’s worth a try. I found it helpful: Don Aslett’s How to be Number One with your Boss. amazon.com/How-Be-Your-Boss-Longer/dp/0937750034

It has some tips on the work world, and although it’s not going to answer all your possible questions and scenarios it might give you some tools. God Bless you, and I will also pray for you tonight!
 
Flunking out in this life is not necessarily a bad thing. We believe in a Heaven and it is there that we store up our treasures.
 
Welcome to my life!!! By saying that I mean you are not alone! Don’t give up hope, I would say you are a failure if you don’t try and make a best effort and if you try your best and it doesn’t get you anywhere? You’re still a winner because you tried. That is all that counts is that you try.
At the moment, I’ve dropped out of university because I hated it and I’m now trying to find a decent job whilst I’m watching all my friends come out with good degrees/jobs and buying their first house and having children and I feel left behind. But saying that, I’m trying so I can’t be a loser everyone’s journey is different and you will through this suffering and hopelessness gain more wisdom and experience in areas others haven’t which is good life experience!
Keep praying and carrying your cross Jesus got your back!
 
Just focus on the work given to you at the moment and don’t worry about what other’s get or whether you’re work is good enough. It will be as good as you can make it, and that’s all you can expect from yourself and what they can expect from you. But, it is you and God is in you and for you, so whatever happens, God will be there to get you through it.

One of the areas of growth that God has led me to learn about myself this year, is to detach myself from the need to be accepted by others. However I’m accepted or rejected matters little. It’s how I accept myself, because it’s knowing God accepts me as I am, that helps me to know who I am in God’s eyes.

Peace of Christ Be With You
Jim
 
My thoughts and prayers are with you.

There’s some good advice in this thread, which I won’t repeat, but hopefully add to:

We all have our crosses. It’s a very hard thing to accept. I can’t relate to your particular struggle, as I’ve been blessed in the job department. I’ve been well-blessed in several other respects. And in still others–it’s a nightmare I wish every day I could wake up from. I wish I could have a normal loving family, normal loving husband, a normal circle of friends and a support system that ‘everybody else’ seems to have.

I have a friend who is very blessed with intelligence, youthful looks, attractive, loving husband, with a great job, beautiful home. She also still struggles with family of origin issues, abandonment, a nutjob mother, unloving stepmother, sexual predator stepfather, a child with a life-threatening illness, another with a chronic condition, both of which have put huge emotional and financial stresses on their family. There are without a doubt people who envy her. But they aren’t seeing all she deals with. I’m sure she wakes up every day wishing she could just have a normal life, a healthy background, a loving mother–like ‘everybody else’ has.

My point is that we all think ‘everybody else’ has a normal life and we compare ourselves. What has helped me is to realize everybody else is struggling with their own things…their own crosses. Almost everybody at some point in their lives, is tired of carrying their cross. We believe, somehow, that life is supposed to be blessed and beautiful and happy in this country, in this day and age, and it makes us discontent.

I’m not saying that your road is easy, but only that when we begin to accept that life never has been easy…it gets easier. Because our expectations change.

I know it’s not easy, and I know it’s discouraging. Keep doing your best, praying, reaching out to others, and helping others who are also struggling.
 
Well, in the final weeks, I was finally given things to do. Apparently, it was enough to impress them as I was given an job offer. Some of the temp people who worked there before me didn’t. However, there is confusion for me here. While I’ve been going to Mass, as homage, I’ve stopped praying before work. During the first weeks I did, but that’s when all the problems were happening. I stopped praying and the problems stopped. Co-workers became more helpful, I interacted with management more and I was given more responsibilities. Prior to that, the only bright stop of my work day was seeing a fellow temp worker I had developed a crush on, which for me is very rare. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I learned the last week that she was married. So, I pray and get a job; I pray for help at said job and get none, I stop praying and things start working out. :confused: Yep, not a clue about all of this.
 
We can’t give professional advice here, but just offer our prayers and spiritual support. I wouldn’t jump to conclusions about not praying – that is not advice that Catholics would give.

God loves us more than we can possibly imagine. Surely, work adds to our self-esteem but we never lose our eternal dignity, unless we decide to turn away from God. As Pope Benedict XVI stated in Jesus of Nazareth, we have a right and a duty to pray to God for our daily needs.

When I pray, I ask simply that God would grant me the spiritual, material, and physical needs for today. I pray in thanksgiving for what I have received. I will pray now for your needs. God bless you.
 
The Jewish outlook on their faith and the 613 commandments contained therein, those who are more religious and faithful will pray before they perform one of the commandments, whether it is a positive command to do something or a negative commandment to not do such and such.

Whatever else is going on in your life, PLEASE pray, please pray for an end to abortion, please pray for an end to human trafficking and human exploitation. And, if it is possible, use your time to help someone else or do something good.

Jesus said that we would be blessed even if we merely gave someone a drink of water that needed it. That does not mean necessarily to walk around with a pitcher of water and paper cups, it means that none of us is exempt from His command of love, and if that’s all we can do, is give a thirsty person a drink of water, do it, or whatever needs to be done, whatever we can do.
 
Methos said:
Well, in the final weeks, I was finally given things to do. Apparently, it was enough to impress them as I was given an job offer. Some of the temp people who worked there before me didn’t. However, there is confusion for me here. While I’ve been going to Mass, as homage, I’ve stopped praying before work. During the first weeks I did, but that’s when all the problems were happening. I stopped praying and the problems stopped. Co-workers became more helpful, I interacted with management more and I was given more responsibilities. Prior to that, the only bright stop of my work day was seeing a fellow temp worker I had developed a crush on, which for me is very rare. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I learned the last week that she was married. So, I pray and get a job; I pray for help at said job and get none, I stop praying and things start working out. :confused: Yep, not a clue about all of this.
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Remember work is not the only thing in life. Some people feel great passion for their work and a sense of achievement and identity. Others just see their jobs as a means to an end. With automation and a low skills economy it isn’t realistic to expect everyone to find their passion through work.

Do your best but remember it’s just one part of your life along with your relationships and hobbies. Prayer is never wasted and it’s always good to spend time in prayer.
 
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