A
ADiosgracias
Guest
I’m tired of feeling used. Is that a sin? The more generous I am with my time and patience, the more people abuse it.
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J
JW55
Guest
How about this from Mother Teresa of Calcutta:
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
C
ChibiViolet
Guest
No, it’s not a sin and you don’t have to let people step all over you in order to be a good person.
C
Catholic1954
Guest
It is not a sin to stop being a doormat. If you let people take advantage of you, they will.
T
TheRealJuliane
Guest
Here is a book that I have found very helpful in setting proper boundaries.
It’s called, not surprisingly,
Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life
You do not have to be a doormat. You can still be a kind person, with Christian values, but not allow yourself to be abused and taken for granted. It takes recognition that you deserve respect, in the end. Can be hard to get started but once you do, you’ll start getting better at it.
It’s called, not surprisingly,
Boundaries: When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life
You do not have to be a doormat. You can still be a kind person, with Christian values, but not allow yourself to be abused and taken for granted. It takes recognition that you deserve respect, in the end. Can be hard to get started but once you do, you’ll start getting better at it.
P
pamnbam
Guest
Excellent book!!
M
monicatholic
Guest
If giving/ gifts encourages bad/ using/ self destructive/ dishonest behaviors, then continued gifts arent gifts. It’s enabling.
If gifts/ giving are given with my expectation that the recipient change/ improve relationships/ owe me something-- even gratitude or time-- then my gifts arent gifts. Theyre bribes and manipulations.
If I’m disgusted or disappointed at the results of my gift giving it’s usually because I’ve participated in one or the other: enabling or manipulating.
If gifts/ giving are given with my expectation that the recipient change/ improve relationships/ owe me something-- even gratitude or time-- then my gifts arent gifts. Theyre bribes and manipulations.
If I’m disgusted or disappointed at the results of my gift giving it’s usually because I’ve participated in one or the other: enabling or manipulating.
1
1ke
Guest
When you are tired of being good, that is when you have to be even better.
You are growing in holiness and the Devil doesn’t like that and wants you to despair.
You are growing in holiness and the Devil doesn’t like that and wants you to despair.
E
EasterJoy
Guest
It depends upon whether or not you’re really being used, or if you are merely living a Christian life that gives to those in need from the abundance given to one by God. To one to whom much is given, much is required.
That doesn’t mean one is bound to give more than one has to those who don’t have a particular need because the others like to take it. It doesn’t mean one is supposed to proudly act as if only other people have needs for nurturing, support, help, and gestures of acceptance.
IOW, the posters suggesting that you examine whether or not your boundaries are realistic were spot on, as was 1ke. You might want to read Galatians as part of your examination, including this: “Let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up.” Gal. 6:9
Also, do not forget that you cannot live the Christian life on your own power. Rather, remember Christ’s invitation, and rely on God for help: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Matt. 11:28-30
That doesn’t mean one is bound to give more than one has to those who don’t have a particular need because the others like to take it. It doesn’t mean one is supposed to proudly act as if only other people have needs for nurturing, support, help, and gestures of acceptance.
IOW, the posters suggesting that you examine whether or not your boundaries are realistic were spot on, as was 1ke. You might want to read Galatians as part of your examination, including this: “Let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up.” Gal. 6:9
Also, do not forget that you cannot live the Christian life on your own power. Rather, remember Christ’s invitation, and rely on God for help: “Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” Matt. 11:28-30
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