Tired of being single

[Lypher]

I hear you girl. I too am tired of being single, of not having anyone to share my life with. But I know, it’s partly my own fault for not getting out more often. But it’s never too late to start!

That’s the attitude…

 

[presidentjlh]

Oh, Sierrah, I admire your strength. Although I don’t know how old you are, I’m guessing you’re in your 20s. I’m only 18, and I greatly wish I was in a chaste, romantic relationship.
(Like I said in another thread, please, Lord? Just relieve me of this one cross! It’s not a big deal! )

I always was vexed in high school, as I watched basically every guy have a girlfriend at some point in time, while I remained alone. I always have tried to be the respectful, kind guy, and it always frustrated me seeing girls go for the “jerks” (although they weren’t bad guys, they just didn’t understand the idea of respect too well, not saying I’m perfect or anything. Far from it.)

Now, as I see yet another year of my life go by, and I approach the age of 19, I have yet to even be of the fortune to have any girl I know that I could stay in contact with show any interest in me (I do remember one girl, a few years ago, but it would have been long distance, and at my age, I just didn’t feel it would work. I barely even got to know her when she asked, and I, very, very shamefully admit, I was more shallow then and did not find the girl very attractive. :imsorry: I still struggle with this to a point, I really wish to overcome these petty, sinful ways I think of people, and learn to find the beauty in all. I feel bad about it to this day.)

It does bring me a little sadness that I have yet to experience the joy of having a chaste female companion, but I always try to tell myself, “This just has to mean that God has someone in store for me that’s just going to blow me away.”

 

[NewsTheMan]

It does bring me a little sadness that I have yet to experience the joy of having a chaste female companion, but I always try to tell myself, “This just has to mean that God has someone in store for me that’s just going to blow me away.”

Goooood Grief, that little bit of hope has me hooked. I sometimes catch myself thinking, God better have someone fantastic!!! Sometimes I believe it, sometimes not.

 

[vera_dicere]

I’m 28 and I’ve never had a boyfriend!! When I was about 24 I went through a stage where I felt quite 'desperate" for lack of a better term, or perhaps just down, that I wouldn’t get a fella when all my friends seemed to be shacking up and marrying. But most of their marriages now are sadly falling apart, and I can’t help wonder if their lack of faith and overt sexual shenanigans had something to do with it.

I’ve learnt now to not worry about it, and to just be happy in my company, but the reality is, we’re never alone, God is always there, and while I’m happy to sacrifice the desire to have a husband and children if that’s God’s plan, I do still pray for my maybe future spouse. I pray that he keeps his purity and develops a strong relationship with the Big Man upstairs! Basically, I found peace in my singleness when I gave up all those wants and desires, and placed them at the foot of the Cross.

As the saying goes, don’t worry, be happy (and love God!)

 

[Sierrah]

I’m tired of the emptiness as well. Seeing all the couples and families usually means I leave Mass in tears, so I haven’t gone in several weeks, it just too painful. So I go to Seattle, where there are a lot of people like me, alone, and it helps somewhat.
Plus, in the Northwest, being religious is a liability for women in the dating world. Most Catholic women I know had to marry outside of the faith, there just aren’t any good Catholic men here.

I find myself crying a lot after church and even going for a walk at the park watching the families together or just the couples holding hands. I’ve never really had that. I’ve come to the point where I don’t know if I could have that. The last guy swore he was ready for a relationship but he never really opened up till after we broke up. Anyway I’m at the point of considering leaving the church because it’s just too painful to be subjected every Sunday to watching the happy families all together. I had a great stable family growing up and my family is still close maybe that’s why I always wanted something like that so much.

 

[Sierrah]

Oh, Sierrah, I admire your strength. Although I don’t know how old you are, I’m guessing you’re in your 20s. I’m only 18, and I greatly wish I was in a chaste, romantic relationship.
(Like I said in another thread, please, Lord? Just relieve me of this one cross! It’s not a big deal! )

I always was vexed in high school, as I watched basically every guy have a girlfriend at some point in time, while I remained alone. I always have tried to be the respectful, kind guy, and it always frustrated me seeing girls go for the “jerks” (although they weren’t bad guys, they just didn’t understand the idea of respect too well, not saying I’m perfect or anything. Far from it.)

Now, as I see yet another year of my life go by, and I approach the age of 19, I have yet to even be of the fortune to have any girl I know that I could stay in contact with show any interest in me (I do remember one girl, a few years ago, but it would have been long distance, and at my age, I just didn’t feel it would work. I barely even got to know her when she asked, and I, very, very shamefully admit, I was more shallow then and did not find the girl very attractive. :imsorry: I still struggle with this to a point, I really wish to overcome these petty, sinful ways I think of people, and learn to find the beauty in all. I feel bad about it to this day.)

It does bring me a little sadness that I have yet to experience the joy of having a chaste female companion, but I always try to tell myself, “This just has to mean that God has someone in store for me that’s just going to blow me away.”

I’m in my early 40s.

 

[CountrySinger]

I find myself crying a lot after church and even going for a walk at the park watching the families together or just the couples holding hands. I’ve never really had that. I’ve come to the point where I don’t know if I could have that. The last guy swore he was ready for a relationship but he never really opened up till after we broke up. Anyway I’m at the point of considering leaving the church because it’s just too painful to be subjected every Sunday to watching the happy families all together. I had a great stable family growing up and my family is still close maybe that’s why I always wanted something like that so much.

I feel that way too. I was thinking of leaving for awhile. Mass is just too painful. I know people here will say, concentrate on the Eucharist and Jesus, yada yada. But I’m still dying inside. And unfortunately, churches tend to be family-centric, so going to another parish doesn’t help matters much. Singles are still alone.

 

[Sierrah]

For the record I keep myself pretty busy and every for 2 jobs with little downtime.

 

[trinichiqn]

I am tired of being single but it is hard to find the right guy to date/marry. I am praying to meet the right person but waiting is lonely. You want someone that you can share your day with. I see a lot of people around me having babies and I want one of my own but I am not willing to have a baby without a husband. I had a friend tell me that she had her daughter at 26 she felt it was time and she didn’t want to wait to long. I get discouraged sometimes, am I waiting too long, are my standards too high. But I keep waiting and praying. It’s frustrationg sometimes.

 

[KostyaJMJ]

This thread makes me so sad that there isn’t more of me to go around. I am going to go and remind my wife how lucky she is to have me.

What kind of activities would singles like to see in church? I was attending another parish for a while and we had a lot of activities for younger catholics but sadly back home there is nothing ever going on and nobody shows up when we try anything.

 

[sheilathebard]

I’m married, but I feel for all of you …

It might cheer you up to know that neither my husband nor I ever dated anyone before each other. It might seem now that “even a relationship that didn’t lead to marriage would at least be something,” but that’s not so. It would just mean that you had had your heart broken before meeting the person that was really for you.

I just had a word of advice from the person from Seattle. I really feel your pain – there seem to be NO Catholics around there! My advice is to attend a different church. Blessed Sacrament, in the U district, is full of single Catholics because it’s around the university. The Newman Center is good too. And that way you don’t have to deal with seeing all the families around, making you feel sad.

I do pray for all you single people … it is a hard cross, especially as you grow older. Have you read this blog? seraphicsinglescummings.blogspot.com The author has also recently published a book about the single life for Catholics. She’s very encouraging to read, especially as someone who was single until she was 37 or 38.

 

[samovila]

If it makes you feel any better, I’ve been married and I’ve been single and I can’t say that one is better than the other. Both walks of life are filled with joys and challenges of different sorts. Find joy in your present calling. If you have a future spouse out there take comfort in knowing that they are looking for you, too!

 

[Em_in_FL]

I just want to off you my thoughts and prayers… I’m so sorry you’re carrying this cross.

Have you tried online dating sites? I’m only suggesting because they can sometimes weed out the riff-raff early on…

My only other thought… is that if you honestly deep-down feel the CALLING to marriage, then pray *FOR *your potential husband. You never know if God is still working things out with Mr. Right while he’s still struggling to BECOME “Mr. Right”… He may NEED your prayers!

 

[prolifewife]

I just want to off you my thoughts and prayers… I’m so sorry you’re carrying this cross.

:console: :hug3: :grouphug: What she said. And prayers here too.

I carried this cross for eight miserably long years before I met my spouse. Crying at mass and everything. Now that I have my spouse we’ve been carrying the cross of infertility for over four years. So even though I am blessed with a husband, we are having to die to the second half of the marital package and it feels like an actual death! I now continue to cry at mass cause all the young couples have at least one if not half a dozen kids trailing after them. So I still feel your pain tremendously, even though I am married. I hope this makes sense. Just please know you are not alone. And marriage as wonderful as it is at times may not in and of itself take away all your pain and heartache. :hug3:

 

[Kimothy80]

What kind of activities would singles like to see in church?

The YA group I’m part of does Theology on Tap once a month in a casual restaurant and something that they call The Lord’s Day where we go to the parish center of one of the larger churches, read from scripture, sing and (later) eat dinner. (would it be horrible if I said that I found my first Lord’s Day a bit boring?) That’s also once a month. They do have outdoor activities but so far nothing coming up (I know that there is something going on April 25 but for the life of me I can’t remember what it is! :doh2 that interests me.

Personally, I wouldn’t mind a once-a-month dinner-and-movie get together or a bowling night. :yup:

 

[Kimothy80]

Have you tried online dating sites? I’m only suggesting because they can sometimes weed out the riff-raff early on…

I’ve tried online dating (yes, even CatholicMatch) and most of the guys remind me of escaped convicts. :bigyikes:

Funny enough, one of the guys in my area who checked out my profile I ended up meeting face-to-face a week later at March’s Theology on Tap! We haven’t really had a one-on-one conversation but he seems like a nice guy and I do have him as a friend on Facebook.

 

[kage_ar]

Same thing. In this time of national mourning here, this is particularly able to be felt while passing all the couples when on a long solitary walk.

You are not alone, the Church on heaven and on earth are all joined in your sorrow. You are in my prayers every day.

Hugs!

 

[prolifewife]

You are not alone, the Church on heaven and on earth are all joined in your sorrow. You are in my prayers every day.

Hugs!

This is really good Kage…and true! :hug1:

 

[prolifewife]

I’ve tried online dating (yes, even CatholicMatch) and most of the guys remind me of escaped convicts. :bigyikes:

Funny enough, one of the guys in my area who checked out my profile I ended up meeting face-to-face a week later at March’s Theology on Tap! We haven’t really had a one-on-one conversation but he seems like a nice guy and I do have him as a friend on Facebook.

Oh! We had Theology on Tap too. Isn’t it great? I will pray for this new friendship of yours. :hug1:

I never liked online dating much either.

 

[Luke_K]

Is anyone here besides me not tired of being single? I’m only 20, but I’ve never been in a relationship and feel fine.

I can understand why people are pained by it though, especially those who are older.