Tired.

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Luvz2travel

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I’m ready to go on to whatever. I’m watching everyone have their life moving forward with me stuck falling backward which is no fun at all. I’m tired of feeling like I want to be married with kids and that prospect is gone forever. I haven’t even been on a date for four years. Only much old guys ask me out the last one I talked to was later admitted he wasn’t even divorced. No thanks. I tried looking for a roommate to help with finances…no luck there either. I had 2 car accidents this year minor but I may lose my car insurance over it. I’m just tired. I’m also tired of going to church and feeling like I don’t exist there. I work 2 jobs and don’t have time to get really involved in church activities…I have only Sunday off work. I may and join a non denominational church where I have a few hiking buddies who have invited me to go a few times. There at least someone would at least say hi and I might feel somewhat engaged in the whole thing. Like I said before I’m just tired of fading into the background. 🤷
 
Hello
Sorry parish life isnt so great for you. I have felt some of the same ways in the past and experimented outside the church but what one has lacking the other lacks the opposite. It was frustrating for me but I just did not feel at home unless it was in our beautiful Catholic faith. My spiritual director had to remind me we have the eucharist. Now my recommendation, spend some silent time at home or better yet in the adoration chapel, and hey if you are so relaxed in the chapel that you fall asleep, then thats what GOD willed for you at that time. Offering prayer for you my friend, please visit the adoration chapel.
 
You are not alone.

Three years ago, I worked 2 jobs & in college… fell in deep depression (taking everything personal, dating jerks to find self-worth & to fit in) & considered suicide because my life felt hard & not going anywhere (childhood to young adulthood), work & school occupying my time… I dug deeper into sin feeling helpless & frustrated with me having to reach out to people than vise-versa. One of my best friends (Protestant/Contemporary Christian) went to the same church as an ex-bf (4-5 yrs ago) I had… my faith journey with God wasn’t stable & she knew it… at one point, she invited me to a few concerts & services there & I was convinced to join her church because they seemed so deep in their faith & I wanted that, but I found how prejudice they were to me when I said I’m currently catholic (they quickly treated me differently), which prevented me from joining. My friend later informed me that they are a known church to be very judgmental to catholics… no wonder!

So I quit one job that I hated the most & kept other, went to confession again & again to renew myself & try to change my pessimistic outlook on life which led to talking with a priest… the church then that I attended had nothing to accommodate to young adults, so I felt lost. I prayed for someday joining a church with people my age, have true catholic friends, & be devoted to my catholic faith. Three-Five years later, I’m still in college, still working (quit other job for better one), & finally found a different catholic church that I am comfortable belonging to… God healed & forgave me for the hurt, the sense of being abandoned, the sin I couldn’t stop, the many nights crying & asking Him: why me?, all of it!! By the grace of God, I am healed & a renewed catholic! My best friend who is Protestant, her & I respect each other’s religion even though we don’t agree with each others fully. Because of school (mostly) & work, I don’t have time to do many activities each week, but every Sunday night’s mass I can see my new catholic friends there while spending time with the lover of our souls. God has blessed me & He will continue to bless you, the more you dive into your catholic faith & not lose hope & trust. Just like He answered my innermost prayers, He can answer yours too. Hope this helped a little. I will pray for you.
 
Hello OP
I"m sorry you are going through a rough patch but please don’t abandon the Church just because of ‘feelings’ Our feelings come and go but Truth is forever.
You might need a change of pace, it seems like you feel trapped in your routine. Do you need to work two jobs? I am single like you and have worked two jobs before and I know how stressful that can be. I finally cut down and couldn’t be happier. I have less money now yes, but I feel a lot better.

Once you have more time you might be able to participate in more parish activities or other stuff. Do you work out? I get depressed whenever I don’t, it’s super important for your general well being. Cardio has been proven to make you happier

I know it’s hard to find friends once you are older and all your friends get married and pretty much abandon you but it’s not impossible. I only have one unmarried friend, and we hang out a lot , she’s a blessing to me. All my other friends are married with kids and I don’t have much in common with them but I still find companionship with them. I’m going to a baby shower tomorrow and I’m sure I’ll have fun. Now I would rather go out to eat and have a cocktail but beggars can’t be choosers lol.

I see you like hiking, have you tried to find hiking friends in meetup? I used to do meetup a lot and found a bunch of friends there. Now, granted most of them are not religious but you could still have a nice time with them as long as you are strong in your faith.

I do gather from your post that the biggest issue you have is you are upset with your current relationship status. I know it must be devastating to feel you are called to marriage and it just did not happen. Now it’s not impossible, I know a lady that got married for the first time at 65 hehe so there’s hope, Still though you must come to terms with your reality now. Ask God to grant you peace with your situation now. Ask Him continuously and wholeheartedly until he grants you this. You will not find contentment until there’s some resignation in your heart. Yes it’s not what you wanted but it’s what God has given you at least at this time.

I will pray for you
 
Luvz2travel said:
I’m ready to go on to whatever. I’m watching everyone have their life moving forward with me stuck falling backward which is no fun at all. I’m tired of feeling like I want to be married with kids and that prospect is gone forever. I haven’t even been on a date for four years. Only much old guys ask me out the last one I talked to was later admitted he wasn’t even divorced. No thanks. I tried looking for a roommate to help with finances…no luck there either. I had 2 car accidents this year minor but I may lose my car insurance over it. I’m just tired. I’m also tired of going to church and feeling like I don’t exist there. I work 2 jobs and don’t have time to get really involved in church activities…I have only Sunday off work. I may and join a non denominational church where I have a few hiking buddies who have invited me to go a few times. There at least someone would at least say hi and I might feel somewhat engaged in the whole thing. Like I said before I’m just tired of fading into the background. 🤷
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God Bless and my condolences.

ICXC NIKA
 
Having a string of bad luck is never any fun and I am sorry you are going through this.

However, and I could be wrong here, depending on the hours/pay 2 jobs doesn’t always put someone financially ahead. There is the gas to put in the car to go to the second job. There is the exhaustion which often means too tired to cook so more money spent eating out. More nice work clothes could be needed. Just curious if it is really worth the second job.

Also, I find that the reality is, most churches in my area cater to specific groups and don’t accommodate all needs. There are children’s/family group. I have no kids so I am a misfit. There are young adult groups. The cut off is 40, and I am 45. There is the Catholic woman’s league and I have no interest in the speakers they invite. Or the activities they do.

I remember 15 years ago attending a church and after a group of us would gather and talk. We were all at difference stages in our life but for some reason we had a lot in common as far as conversation topics. That lasted for a year or so and then we all seemed to go our different ways to other parishes. I actually went back to that church and no longer recognize anyone there.

I know it can be hard

Angie
 
I’m not a bad person, self involved or even have asbergers though I do have ADD. I’ve never been able to really make close friends for whatever reason. Every time I trust someone I get burned. Guys are no exception either. I’m already in hiking groups. Once the hike is over we go separate ways. I have a few hiking buddies but they are just that hiking partners. I rarely see them anymore and they don’t seem to want a more involved friendship then the occasional hike. I no longer try to push or even offer to engage them anymore. People seem to want to stay acquaintances only. I’ve learned to live with it for the most part. It’s not like I have any choice but I’m also very independent. I was bullied quite bad as a kid so my trust factor of anyone is very low. I’m always guarded to a point. It’s served me well in keep me from being an abuse victim by guys. It’s seems all I ever attract are abusers or abuser want to be’s or guys who want to cry about the girl who left them and broke their heart and want to use me to bandaid their loneliness. Again I say no thanks. Anyway I guess I’ll just have to deal like I always have. What else do you do. 🤷:mad::confused:
 
Luvz2travel said:
…I’ve never been able to really make close friends for whatever reason. Every time I trust someone I get burned. Guys are no exception either….People seem to want to stay acquaintances only….I was bullied quite bad as a kid so my trust factor of anyone is very low. I’m always guarded to a point….Anyway I guess I’ll just have to deal like I always have. What else do you do.🤷:mad::confused:
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I can empathize with some of what you are experiencing. Comments about my own experiences follow.

I am extremely guarded in my relations with others. This is a result of my temperament and past experiences. My emotions and thoughts are sufficiently disordered that I am not able to have much authentic relations with others. I am an excellent listener and servant when I can keep the disordered emotions and thoughts sufficiently suppressed (not healthy). However, friendship is still, essentially non-existent. Sustained effort is required to get the focus off myself and onto others. This situation will not change until sufficient order is introduced to my thoughts and emotions. This is unfortunate for me and others. The disorder, especially excessive fear of psychic/emotional pain, detrimentally influences my decisions in interaction with others. Often my words and actions are intended to defend self instead of love others. Being overly guarded both prompts others to maintain emotional, and physical, distance and “pushes” those away who do make attempts at friendly relation.

I will pray that you gain the wisdom to know when and how much to drop your defenses and the courage to do so.
 
It’s pretty hard to trust anyone when they burn you every time. I generally keep myself emotionally neutral but being human the emotions always come back in force. :eek: What really gets me is when I had one lady continually ask me why I wasn’t dating anyone. The question was always aren’t you dating someone like the only friend you should have is someone you are dating :rolleyes: Or when I got balled by four guys who helped me when my car died in the middle of a bad part of the city. They said well you need to get a boyfriend or you need to have you husband watch out for you. Like I can just go to the shopping mall and pick up a guy. I suppose I could at a bar or something is I was really desparate and wanted to me used by someone no thanks:eek:
 
I have read your posts in this thread a few times in an attempt to understand what you are trying to convey. You have mentioned a variety of troubles you have encountered and/or are still enduring. I think I can only poorly empathize with you regarding dating/courtship/marriage frustration. Is that issue the most distressing for you?
 
Thanks for the prayers. Sorry for the all complaining. My overall issue is just being alone all the time is very taxing. You get used to it but it also gets very old after a while. :rolleyes:🤷
 
Luvz2travel,

I understand. It probably is not healthy keeping the disappointment and frustration perpetually bottled up. Not really certain what to say other than I will keep you in my prayers. I hope you have a good day.
 
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