TLM and children

[savedbygrace71]

I’ve been feeling drawn to a traditional Latin Mass for some time now, and now that I am officially Catholic I am going to go to a nearby parish. There is a Latin mass twice a week in the city near me, and I’m truly looking forward to the experience.

I’m just curious on how others handle children in the quiet setting. I am going to try to go alone the first time, so I don’t have to worry about this, but I just wanted to ask. Especially since the website for the church said it’s very quiet and to not expect to hear every word, or to participate with responses and so on. Does anyone bring their young children on a regular basis to a TLM and do you find that your fellow parishioners are ok with it? I just have a vision of a much more quiet, reverent, serious setting than our usual family mass we attend.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut!

 

[Cojuanco]

I’ve been feeling drawn to a traditional Latin Mass for some time now, and now that I am officially Catholic I am going to go to a nearby parish. There is a Latin mass twice a week in the city near me, and I’m truly looking forward to the experience.

I’m just curious on how others handle children in the quiet setting. I am going to try to go alone the first time, so I don’t have to worry about this, but I just wanted to ask. Especially since the website for the church said it’s very quiet and to not expect to hear every word, or to participate with responses and so on. Does anyone bring their young children on a regular basis to a TLM and do you find that your fellow parishioners are ok with it? I just have a vision of a much more quiet, reverent, serious setting than our usual family mass we attend.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut!

In my experience, depends on the culture of the parish generally. Some parishes tend to get angry whenever a baby decides to act like a baby in all his innocence. Others tend to not really care that much if a baby cries (remember that the kinds of people that go to a Latin Mass typically have more-than-average numbers of children). Of course, the same caveat holds true for parishes that celebrate the Forma Ordinaria, as well.

 

[AllSeasons]

I’ve been feeling drawn to a traditional Latin Mass for some time now, and now that I am officially Catholic I am going to go to a nearby parish. There is a Latin mass twice a week in the city near me, and I’m truly looking forward to the experience.

I’m just curious on how others handle children in the quiet setting. I am going to try to go alone the first time, so I don’t have to worry about this, but I just wanted to ask. Especially since the website for the church said it’s very quiet and to not expect to hear every word, or to participate with responses and so on. Does anyone bring their young children on a regular basis to a TLM and do you find that your fellow parishioners are ok with it? I just have a vision of a much more quiet, reverent, serious setting than our usual family mass we attend.

Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut!

Personally, I don’t mind children. I look forward to having lots of our own when I marry my fiance. That said, if the crying is prolonged, the etiquette is to take them to a designated area, so that the rest of congregation can better focus on the Mass.

 

[aTraditionalist]

Most traditional Catholics have large families. My parish doesn’t pay any attention to it. I’d rather hear kids banging around the pews making a fuss over the longest hour of their lives over not having them there.

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[Cojuanco]

Most traditional Catholics have large families. My parish doesn’t pay any attention to it. I’d rather hear kids banging around the pews making a fuss over the longest hour of their lives over not having them there.

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If only there were more Catholics like you! There have been some (universally laymen) who seem to think babies crying at Mass is like the end of the world! That goes for both forms!

 

[felsguy]

(remember that the kinds of people that go to a Latin Mass typically have more-than-average numbers of children)

That’s intriguing. Is that why the languages which derived from Latin are called “romance languages”?

 

[Cojuanco]

That’s intriguing. Is that why the languages which derived from Latin are called “romance languages”?

No. But such an insinuation is of course, funny as all get-out.

 

[tawny]

Most traditional Catholics have large families. My parish doesn’t pay any attention to it. I’d rather hear kids banging around the pews making a fuss over the longest hour of their lives over not having them there.

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[Chatter163]

And yet, despite the so-called wisdom of contemporary society, most children of families who regularly attend the EF sit still and are extremely well-behaved.

 

[EIF5A]

And yet, despite the so-called wisdom of contemporary society, most children of families who regularly attend the EF sit still and are extremely well-behaved.

Do you think there’s a correlation between being drawn to traditional Catholicism and discipline? I don’t have the most accurate way to say this, but perhaps tradition inspires respect for (Church) authority and docility…or maybe the other way around.

 

[aTraditionalist]

EIF5A:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chatter163

And yet, despite the so-called wisdom of contemporary society, most children of families who regularly attend the EF sit still and are extremely well-behaved.

Do you think there’s a correlation between being drawn to traditional Catholicism and discipline? I don’t have the most accurate way to say this, but perhaps tradition inspires respect for (Church) authority and docility…or maybe the other way around.

Maybe. My kids go nuts like all the others, but it seems to me that their worst days might be better than some of the best days that other parents deal with. Just when I think I have it bad, I witness something in public and/or talk with other parents. The Church has a heavy influence in our home and there might be a lot of residual effect on their individual behavior. At least I hope it does.

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[LisaB]

And yet, despite the so-called wisdom of contemporary society, most children of families who regularly attend the EF sit still and are extremely well-behaved.

This. All the children at my parish behave as well as the adults. Babies do sometimes get fussy but the moment they become a distraction they are taken outside. We even had a statement in our bulletin a couple years ago reminding parents to keep their children quiet to foster contemplative atmosphere in church. I don’t know how they do it but it happens somehow.

 

[balto]

I don’t have any children but I do attend a TLM weekly that has a good number of young families with young children and the children are usually pretty well behaved. Occasionally someone’s kid or baby will get upset and make noise, but I don’t think that it bothers the others too much, and it surprisingly is uncommon. If someone’s baby gets really upset they take the baby to the back like you would normally. I think most people are just happy that these children are being taken to a TLM. Yesterday someone’s baby tried to do baby-sing-along with Father as he sung the Kyrie. It was kind of cute . It doesn’t bother me whenever a kid makes noise. Everybody knows and understands that babies and kids make noise every once in a while .

 

[babochka]

This. All the children at my parish behave as well as the adults. Babies do sometimes get fussy but the moment they become a distraction they are taken outside. We even had a statement in our bulletin a couple years ago reminding parents to keep their children quiet to foster contemplative atmosphere in church. I don’t know how they do it but it happens somehow.

All the children behave as well as the adults? Even the toddlers?

Those with more difficult children probably quickly come to understand that this is not the parish for them, if they wish to bring their children to Mass with them. I have 5 children. Three of them (including the toddler and 5-year-old) would do perfectly well in such an environment. Two of the older ones, not so much. : My Byzantine parish has a few refugees from the Latin Mass parish who didn’t feel like their extremely high energy son could keep the behavioral standards, so the poor parents were constantly outside of the church for Mass.

 

[Cojuanco]

babochka:
All the children behave as well as the adults? Even the toddlers?

Those with more difficult children probably quickly come to understand that this is not the parish for them, if they wish to bring their children to Mass with them. I have 5 children. Three of them (including the toddler and 5-year-old) would do perfectly well in such an environment. Two of the older ones, not so much. : My Byzantine parish has a few refugees from the Latin Mass parish who didn’t feel like their extremely high energy son could keep the behavioral standards, so the poor parents were constantly outside of the church for Mass.

Largely depends on the parish, though. The correlation I have seen more with such attitudes tends, I have observed, to be linked with social class, with the ones dominated by the upper classes tending to seethe at babies being babies and toddlers being toddlers, and the ones with a proportionally greater working-class element being rather more tolerant. I haven’t seen a correlation with form (I’ve seen both attitudes in action in both EF and OF Masses) so much as the demographics of the parish, or at least the demographics of the ushers and similar.

 

[Sunbreak]

Back in the days when the TLM was all that existed, there would be children at Mass, but also people would leave their children at home and take turns going to Mass. Babies who were screaming were taken out to the lobby (narthex) which was behind a set of doors since there were no cry rooms in those days. So, I expect that some people who attend the TLM would expect quiet most of the time. In my observation, I think children would be welcome but people would expect parents to correct the children and not let them run wild in the church. Actually, it seems like the churches that have a quieter environment have better behaved children. I think part of this is that the children model their parents. Little ones mimic what’s around them.

 

[babochka]

Back in the days when the TLM was all that existed, there would be children at Mass, but also people would leave their children at home and take turns going to Mass. Babies who were screaming were taken out to the lobby (narthex) which was behind a set of doors since there were no cry rooms in those days. So, I expect that some people who attend the TLM would expect quiet most of the time. In my observation, I think children would be welcome but people would expect parents to correct the children and not let them run wild in the church. Actually, it seems like the churches that have a quieter environment have better behaved children. I think part of this is that the children model their parents. Little ones mimic what’s around them.

This goes to my theory that those with children who have more difficulty being quiet simply do not bring them to church.

I do agree that a quieter environment does help children to learn to be quiet.

 

[babochka]

Largely depends on the parish, though. The correlation I have seen more with such attitudes tends, I have observed, to be linked with social class, with the ones dominated by the upper classes tending to seethe at babies being babies and toddlers being toddlers, and the ones with a proportionally greater working-class element being rather more tolerant. I haven’t seen a correlation with form (I’ve seen both attitudes in action in both EF and OF Masses) so much as the demographics of the parish, or at least the demographics of the ushers and similar.

I would imagine that it is cultural as well. I have a friend whose Mexican husband tells quite a tale about his childhood in Mexico, 50 years ago It involves Mass (Latin Mass), several of his cousins in the back of the church, and 3 chickens.

 

[airforcemom]

Small infants have no clue where they are and anyone who can’t accept that they might cry in my opinion doesn’t understand how much the Lord loves them. If children are not brought to mass (regardless if Latin or NO) they will never learn the proper way to behave. I had this talk with my priest today when he started talking about our need for another church because we don’t have a cry room and we only have a center isle, etc. – told him I don’t go to churches with cry rooms. My 3 never were in a cry room and neither have my 3 grandsons and I don’t expect the 4th one to ever be one either but they will go to Mass and learn the proper way to behave.

 

[giuseppeTO]

It has to be a learned experience. If children are brought into church with cheerios and matchbox cars to keep them occupied in the pews, then they will be distracted (away from the Blessed Sacrament) and be noisy. Although we all know there are no separate rules for attending the TLM, there is certainly an understood difference in this matter.

Babes in arms will get fussy and should be taken out and calmed down - I give you that from the vantage point of having managed 11 children through the process. If the child is old enough to walk, he is old enough to understand the reverence due to scared nature of the miracle taking place on the altar. However, my point is this needs to be taught and not necessarily just expected on your first visit to a TLM.